Chapter 28Her bitter truth, her past , as told by her

One bitter truth is better than thousands lies.

Stand with truth even if you are alone.

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Mrs Ahlam

"Should I tell him?" I thought and gave in, he already knew half of my truth so why not share my bitter full story.

No one is saint whether they point fingers at others or not everyone has done mistakes, some have forgiven each other while some have hold grudges.

"I haven't lied to you or hidden anything I told you half of my truth now this will be my full truth, apart from my family only you will know about it, please don't break my trust," I told him and he nodded this means I had also forgiven him fully.

"We weren't so well off, my dad and mom both struggled to make a better life for me and my brother, we were happy with little we had but the town we lived and the area wasn't so safe. We couldn't shift because we didn't have enough money."

"Go on am listening you are strong," he moved closer and gave me comfort, he made me sit on his lap I felt shy so I looked down and continued.

"I did so many mistakes I feel ashamed if you still remember I told you yeah that I went behind my brothers back during college since I had fallen in love, I broke rules which my parents taught me, the guy just took advantage of me, since I was so much into their group of friends, at college my brother knew I had right group but I used to lie and meet my other friends behind their backs, went clubbing, then he urged me to do modelling since I was so much into it," a sob escaped and I just couldn't control myself and weeped in front of him.

"It pains but I want you to know real me," I explained as I wiped my tears.

"We made agreement as I thought my parents were very strict and wouldn't allow me, and we made agreement that my pictures of modeling won't go anywhere, after some days, one morning when I went college everyone glanced my way with disgust and whispers I felt something was off, when I glanced in front, my brother stood there glaring at me with anger radiating from his face, his looks that time could make anyone cowar away, with trembling hands and fear I moved closer to him, there was no sign of guy I loved with all my heart, the guy for whom I did everything, Aiman.

Whatever restrictions your parents have put upon you are for your own good, never hurt them for someone else.

"Tears streamed down my face that day and I lost the relationship I had with my brother, I dropped from college, the guys used to harass our family because of me, my parents were shattered when they knew of my doings they just broke down, they thought they raised someone better but I was just shame to them"

"Modeling? I even did that, I don't know what was wrong with me damn it,

" I yelled in frustration as I told him and he just hugged me.

"It's true we have to choose our friends wisely those who guide us and remind us of our religion," I heard him say and I nodded in agreement. He also made mistakes wihhis friends so must have learnt from there.

"Must have been hard on your parents as you were only girl?" He asked me and I nodded.It was true whatever he said.

"Dad hardly went to office as news were everywhere, we were loosing everything." Nothing was in our hands.

"Mom had to hear the taunts from ladies and she just kept quiet after scolding me for some days, she just said what has been done has been done."I made so many mistakes, that was my past, my carelessness, we all make mistakes, we think we are right and ignore what out parents say.

After I apologised and tried rectifying my mistakes, never went with those friends again, Everything was turning back to normal my brother joined business and they hit successfully in business area, I apologised to them and was trying to earn my forgiveness.

One day, I left my parents and brother at home as my cousin came to pick me, we studied at her house Islamic classes daily after I realized my mistakes, my parents informed me to join, I studied with other girls.

She used to pick me and drop me but that day I felt like walking as it wasn't very far and I was fully covered.

I was coming back home and once I entered our gate a screamed escaped my mouth and tears flew down my eyes witnessing the scene in front of me.

"Our house was burnt and no one was seen,I was sure they were inside they hardly went out in the evening people outside were screaming but no one dared to enter I tried but people stopped me, I was really trying my best to change but little did I know everything would be snatched from me, there was no evidence I don't know what happened to me later on I found myself in your house."

"Stop crying please that's enough, Allah had planned everything," he said and I nodded he checked my left arm. He carefully applied cream. How lucky was I to have such an amazing husband?

"After everything was over, gossips, taunts, I used to secretly cut my wrists which had done so many sins, I remember now I stood near one of door to enter but as fire was too much the door collapsed on my side and someone tried to drag me but it was too late and darkness consumed m," I explained to him and he turned me to look at him.

"Calm down relax and am sorry for reminding you all that," he soothed me with his calm words. He wanted to know and I wanted to inform him rather than him hearing it from the third person.Why from third person when I can trust him now and tell him everything .

I just snuggled closer into him and we stayed like this in silence. It felt safe, it felt comfortable, soothing to be with him and his family although I miss my family Allah has really blessed me and am sure my parents would be proud of me also.

"Thank you for trusting me, our bond starts with trust, you knew about me and I know about you and just like that if a problem arises we can help each other," he said and I agreed.It made sense and a lot of sense, rather than just ignoring eah other and listening to the third person.

"Someone has become wiser in maintaining relationships," I teased him while staring at him.He has always been so gentle, so caring, so loving towards me, it surprises me and I always keep wondering will our happiness last long?Is our relationship so strong such that little misunderstanding cant affect us?

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