Chapter 20

Li Shaoze went to the study and locked himself in. He didn't know why he was so angry once he knew Li Junfeng was trying to make him befriend his lover. And that thing he mentioned about how he would one day leave this world? Li Shaoze was unwilling in his heart.

But thinking back on it, Li Shaoze still had a little bit of guilt when he just left Li Junfeng like that. Li Junfeng clearly had a quite reasonable reason to make him become close to Pei Qian. He knew Li Junfeng was concerned about his life and he had originally planned to change so that his brother would be rest assured.

It was just being friends, he could try and see if he could really have a genuine friendship. But why must it be her?

Why did it feel so wrong?

Li Shaoze exhaled a deep sigh and a picture of Pei Qian's watery eyes popped up in his mind unknowingly. Her earnest voice and the determination in her face. Her strong yet fragile back when she turned her back to go home.

Everything about their short conversation at the lake and under the tree, came up like a video tape in Li Shaoze's mind. It was so brief yet it left a lasting impression on him.

He felt a strange sensation in his chest and thought it must be due to fever. He then shook his head as a humorless chuckle left his lips.

Li Shaoze didn't know how many minutes he stayed in the study to get himself together. But once he went out, the doorbell rang. He instinctively knew who the guest was.

Li Shaoze slowly walked up to the door and opened it. The first thing he saw was a lovely woman in a burgundy formal suit who looked as if she was a demoness in the field, but an angel outside of it.

Pei Qian appeared very beautiful as she smiled politely with a greeting. In her hands were some fruits and lunch boxes from a famous restaurant.

Li Shaoze seemed to forget to invite her in as Pei Qian stood there awkwardly. Once he realized his blunder, his already red face turned even redder without his notice.

Pei Qian was actually regretting her bold action of paying Li Junfeng's older brother a visit. She just thought that she would be kinder to him due to his past and his relationship with Li Junfeng.

She often listened to Li Junfeng's sigh of worries whenever he talked about Li Shaoze and though she didn't think much of it back then, now that she already knew him face to face, and even exchanged numbers, she had to maintain a good relationship with him.

Pei Qian wasn't a self-sacrificing type of woman. She wouldn't be nice to all the people on earth. But once she decided to, she would be willing to build the bridge.

She wasn't sure what prompted her to go see Li Shaoze today. But she just knew that she had to be friends with Li Shaoze because that would make Li Junfeng better. She knew Li Shaoze's unsavory past that was going around in the upper circle might not be true because Li Junfeng was so good to his brother. There should be some misinformation somewhere that others didn't know.

Pei Qian traced back their meeting under the tree at the funeral. Li Shaoze appeared just like he was being led on. He didn't seem reluctant but he did look like he was doing things for others and not for himself.

Pei Qian never bothered with this tiny detail before, but when she was driving on the way here, she found that if Li Shaoze could see Li Junfeng's soul and talk to him, what he was doing so far would be due to Li Junfeng's idea or request.

What Li Shaoze had admitted to her before, and the fact that he directly confessed that Li Junfeng was present around them, seemed to suggest that Li Junfeng was actually trying to convey a meaning to her all along.

His words might defer but it should sound like 'I'm currently here but won't be for long. So please look over my brother for me because I trust you'.

Stubborn tears had welled up in her eyes by then. But Pei Qian forced them back. She didn't know if Li Junfeng was being far too optimistic or just plain stupid. But being his lover for years, she had already understood him too much to ignore it.

Pei Qian had complained in the car then, that why should she be the one looking over someone else when it should be her who should be looked over and taken care of?

It was so unfair. How Li Shaoze seemed to have a whole different existence in Li Junfeng's heart.

It wasn't good to be jealous but Pei Qian still didn't understand Li Junfeng's excessive worry for Li Shaoze. The man was supposedly three years older than them. He was an adult. So for the past 12 years, hadn't he lived his life just fine?

Unbeknownst to Pei Qian, Li Shaoze himself wasn't aware of how much worry Li Junfeng had over him. He managed to tackle his mental health by himself since he was a child. He could live alone forever if he wanted to and wouldn't be emotionally bothered by the Li's again. He was already content with his life and felt okay over the years.

So what was making Li Junfeng so worried? Li Shaoze wouldn't know.

"Come in, please," Li Shaoze took Pei Qian to the sofa.

"... Thanks," Pei Qian didn't stand on caremony and sat down. Ever since she read some things about his past, and realized what Li Junfeng wanted to convey, she seemed as if she wanted to know Li Shaoze better.

Her curiosity was pricked and she wanted to get to know him. Part of the reason was because of Li Junfeng, and another was just to satisfy her sense of knowledge in her heart.

"I'm sorry if I was rude to barge in so suddenly. That, when you're also feeling unwell," Pei Qian said apologetically. An embarrassed smile laced her lips.

"It's fine. You're already here anyway," the way Li Shaoze said it seemed to imply that he couldn't just chase her out when she was already sitting on his sofa and getting comfortable.

Due to his unprecedented words, the surrounding turned silent and it became slightly unbearable. He didn't know what he said wrong but he just knew it wasn't appropriate. Just as he was about to apologize again, a soft laugh came out from across him.

Pei Qian laughed out loud and her face lighted up. Her smile was infectious as Li Shaoze looked to be bedazzled by it without him knowing.

"Forgive me. You're just so awkward it's funny," Pei Qian admitted. Her strong feeling that Li Shaoze's personality was completely different from Li Junfeng was now nailed hard in the back of her mind.

Li Shaoze didn't know what to say to her words so he just kept his silence. His face was still red and his complexion was unhealthy. Pei Qian saw this and carefully asked him if he had eaten lunch.

"... Not yet. But I won't eat since I don't have the appetite," he was telling her to just leave the lunch boxes and fruits by themselves and he would eat them later.

Pei Qian stared at Li Shaoze's face and thought the way he easily disregarded his health should be one of the reasons Li Junfeng was worried sick about him.

Li Shaoze didn't know about Pei Qian's inner thought. He suddenly felt the same sharp pain in his head like the one before and his forehead furrowed. His change of expression alerted Pei Qian as she instinctively went up to take a closer look.

Li Shaoze was so surprised that he overreacted. He pushed her hand away and the crisp smack echoed in the quiet house very loudly. He was so shocked he panicked.

"I'm sorry. Please wait here-" Li Shaoze forgot about his pain instantly as he ran to look for a towel and an ice cube.

Pei Qian didn't get to react on time as the slight sting came over in nerves. Her eyes trailed over the back of her fair hand which had turned red. Somehow, she wanted to get annoyed at his overreacting attitude but didn't feel offended in the least.

Less than a minute passed, when Li Shaoze came back. He wrapped her palm with a cold towel and the sensation brought more senses into her. Pei Qian looked at Li Shaoze's stature and his expressionless face. But somehow she could see a mixture of fragile surprise yet again in his face.

She didn't know if he was good at hiding his expression or he was just born like this. But for some reason, Pei Qian could understand his current emotion.

"Sorry, I-" he meant to apologize.

"It's okay. You didn't mean it," Pei Qian said without thinking.

"I was hasty just now and didn't consider your personal distance," she continued.

Li Shaoze didn't reply and kept quiet. He somehow got the feeling that he had ruined something delicate. He thought this was the reason why he couldn't survive in a social setting without appearing unfeeling and cold.

Li Junfeng was by the corner, observing everything. He almost went up to punch his brother but managed to regain his senses. He shook his head distressingly when he saw the red patch on Pei Qian's tender and white hand. Only his brother would be bold enough to accidentally lay a hand on Pei Qian like this.

He knew Li Shaoze had a repulsion towards human communication, but he didn't expect it to be so instinctive and strong.

***

Once he got Pei Qian's palm fixed, Li Shaoze slowly let go of his hand. He realized that he had been holding onto her hand like this for so long.

Pei Qian also didn't notice until he let go and she instantly became embarrassed. The warm sensation of his skin when it touched hers was so distinct. She immediately excused herself and began to cry tears of regret in her heart.

There was nothing more to say and he also didn't appear to be able to hold a serious conversation. Pei Qian decided to go back and get in touch later.

Once she was out of his sight, she drove the car away and groaned loudly. Her cheeks burned with the same color as her palm and her grip on the steering wheel became taut.

What the hell was she doing with Li Junfeng's older brother??

Her heart beat faster.