Chapter 42

"Brother Li, don't go! Wait up-" Pei Qian ran after Li Shaoze without caring for her appearance.

She felt like she was always running after him whenever she saw him. Just like when she first invited him to dinner that one time.

Hearing a frantic yet soft voice calling over him, Li Shaoze had no choice but to turn behind him. He glanced at Pei Qian and it felt like he was looking at nowhere. She was convinced that he would close himself off if she didn't remedy the situation.

She regretted feeling quite frustrated and angry towards him. These feelings were unimportant in the face of this crisis. It was true that she felt like she cared too much but wasn't appreciated. She also felt hurt by his cold personality despite her efforts. But it wasn't an excuse she should make just because it wasn't favorable on her. She shouldn't have hoped for an instant change from his side since she knew about his past.

Pei Qian thought she should be more understanding. She wasn't in his place and she didn't know what Li Shaoze went through in his life. He and Li Junfeng were different. She shouldn't use the same logic when interacting with Li Shaoze.

Despite his cold exterior, she got a feeling that he was more delicate than anyone else. Like a piece of expensive vase that had been plastered back with glue. He should be handled with care.

Taking a deep breath properly, Pei Qian looked up to Li Shaoze with bright and gentle eyes. She extended her hand to clutch at his cardigan. It was just a subtle action, but it seemed as if she was clutching his whole being in the palm of her hand. He froze.

"I would also like to apologize... I was being insensitive to you. I was a bit selfish," Pei Qian admitted.

"That-" Li Shaoze wanted to deny it but she cut him off.

"So why not we start over? I want to get to know you for real. I admit I was curious about you because of Junfeng... but now I'm really sincere. Won't you accept my apology, brother Li?"

Pei Qian looked up at Li Shaoze like a kitten in the rain. She looked so pitiful that it made him slightly jumpy. He didn't know how to respond. Suddenly, like she had made up her mind, she smiled.

"Don't think too much. I don't know why you're so hard to get along with, but I know you're a good person. You don't mean it, right?"

'This is just the way you are,' she added inside her heart.

Pei Qian had a sudden realization that she had come to know him a little bit.

"Let's be friends, for real," Pei Qian took a deep breath secretly and held out her hand.

Li Shaoze stared at her hand for a while as he suppressed his fast-beating chest. He thought he was having a heart attack and that his health was failing him. But he still reached out slowly.

Li Shaoze felt that Pei Qian was sincere. He didn't have the heart to refuse her. Earlier, he had been serious to create some distance between them. He didn't feel that he could get along with her anymore. Everything about her seemed to complicate his life and it wasn't quite a pleasant change that he appreciated.

But now it seemed it had all been pointless. Pei Qian still chose to creep closer. She had taken the first step towards him. How could he be able to turn her down?

Li Shaoze decided to accept her good feelings. In this way, he could also try to learn something about his own. Slowly and gradually, his palm reached hers that was warm and white.

When his hand finally touched hers, Pei Qian clutched it with both of her hands. As if she wanted to use his hand as a heater in the night. She clasped it so hard like she was making a promise. Li Shaoze was surprised but didn't try to pull away.

"Your hand is cold," she said in a low voice like a whisper of an angel and it shook Li Shaoze to the very core.

It felt like an electric signal was coursing through his hand to his whole body.

Pei Qian took in his palm closer to her face and blew some air into it. She knew she wasn't thinking straight but she thought this much should be alright between friends.

When she looked up, she saw a myriad of expressions on his face come and go within seconds. It almost seemed comical she wanted to laugh.

He really was an awkward individual.

***

That night, which was supposed to be the last day Li Shaoze would ever want to see Pei Qian, turned into something else that was more memorable.

He had wanted to hide away, to have nothing to do with her anymore once he walked back. But she came after him. Again and often, she made his heart race without reason.

They talked for a long time. They sat by the lake, under the tree. Her snow-white face was colored with alabaster skin. The shape of her mouth when she smiled was addicting. Li Shaoze rarely had anyone smile towards him since he was a child. So her blinding smile was a deadly poison to him. He couldn't stop himself from picturing it instinctively once he closed his eyes, which caused him to scold himself in silence.

Pei Qian asked him what she should pay attention to as friends. What boundary she couldn't cross. Any taboos she shouldn't mention. Her smile was genuine and her efforts shone through the night. It was the first time she had been the one to proactively seek out a friendship.

She really wanted to know him more.

Seeing her effort, Li Shaoze answered her slowly and honestly.

He felt a small piece of wall covering his heart in layers had come off that night.