Grandma Sue

Life continues to be an endless cycle of misery.

Friends and acquaintances called her Grandma Sue. She was just Grandma to me. My best friend, mentor, and mother all in one, and in a blink of an eye my world was ripped from me.

Susan Brown was my mother's mom. After losing her child she stepped in and took me in as her own. She was my only family.

She told me once that she couldn’t give me up because I was the only family she had left.

Her late husband, my grandfather, had also passed when my mom was in her teens. Both lost their lives to cancer.

My childhood was a fatherless one. I spent my childhood and early teenage years without a father. I didn't even know his name until my Eighteenth birthday.

Grandma never talked about my father. As a child, I was curious where my father was, and why I didn't have one, and everyone else did. My grandma didn't go into much detail when I asked.

He ran as fast as he could and never looked back. He and his family only caused havoc.

To this day her words haunt me. She spoke of my father and his family as if they were trouble.

Everyone that lived on our block knew she was a God-fearing woman. Grandma was one the nicest, most caring woman I've ever known. She had a heart full of love. She was quick to take the clothes off her back to give to someone in need, although she fought like hell to keep a roof over our heads.

It still felt like a dream–Her death. One day were cooking Sunday dinner in the kitchen. The next, gone, just like that. There were so many things I wanted to say to her. So many unanswered

questions.

September 13th. That Friday started like any other typical day. I woke up, showered, dressed for school, ate breakfast, gave her a quick kiss, and exchanged I love you before I took the bus to school. On that particular day, I stayed after for a project instead of going straight home. I sent a quick text instead of calling. It was messing with my guilty conscience. I try not to blame myself. I never thought September 13th was the last day I would see her.

The ambulance was outside our apartment complex that evening. My heart dropped when the paramedic rolled a lifeless figure wrapped in a body bag from the building. I hated running but I raced across the street as fast as I could that day.

A neighbor approached me teary-eyed. I just knew my worst nightmare came true. Susan Brown, my grandma, dead at 82.

I've been constantly telling myself she lived a good, long life and never questioned my love for her. It's hard coming to terms with never being able to see her again. I miss her. I'm still mourning her. I just can't get past that she's actually gone.

Being the God-loving woman she was her wish was to be buried beside her husband. All the times I'd brushed off the thought of burying my only family the day had finally come. I kept my promise. The funeral came and went. Only a handful of people showed up. Mostly, neighbors and associates, she had helped over the years. Everyone shared their condolences but it wouldn't bring her back.

I wallowed in depression several days after the funeral. There was a hole in my chest like a piece of me had died. The first few days were hard to get through. Most of the time I would sleep the day away and cry until my eyes were dry and bloodshot.

My neighbor, Erica, let me stay with her for the first two days. My mind was far from school. I couldn’t keep any solid foods down. Erica tried coaxing me into a better mood but the pain was too unbearable.

That same night, grandma came to me in a dream and told me everything would be alright. She was at peace. I had no doubt she was with the man above. A sense of calmness came over me. After that day my mood began to shift.

A week later, the dream I had as a child finally came true. My father reached out. Five-year-old Rome would've been ecstatic at the thought of meeting her father. Present-day Rome was shocked that he was alive and enraged I never knew he existed. Aaron West wasn't dead or living in some hole. He was living well from what I could see.

When I met him in person, he greeted me as if we'd talked the previous day. As if he hadn't been missing in action since birth. I refused to accept his condolences or the hug he tried to give me. It was crazy that the death of my grandma is what forced him to come back into my life.

I could've made my first adult decision to stay here and file for emancipation. I had no options without money or a place to go.

September 23rd marks almost two weeks since my Grandma passed. Almost one week my estranged father barged into my life.

We were about to land on a large landing strip. There's nothing around but mountains and miles of forest. I slept the whole way hoping to dodge conversation with a stranger. The spacious jet that flew us here was another reminder of Aaron's wealth. I knew nothing about the man.

Neither one of us spoke as we walk the short distance to the Escalade sidled off to the side of the road.

There's a man standing outside the car. I kindly thank him as he takes my small bag before I hop into the truck. My whole life fit inside that small old bag. How sad.

Thumping came from my rear. The driver neatly places our bags in the trunk. Aaron slides into the backseat, and I scoot closer to the window. I put as much space between us as I can. I press my head against the window and try to relax. There's an awkward silence that makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

I close my eyes. A voice in my head counts down from 10. Breathe in... Breathe out... My chest rises and falls in an attempt to calm my nerves. The tension in the air is uncanny.

The seat starts shaking under me as the truck begins moving. Wherever we're going, I hope it's a short trip. I didn't know how long I could be in this tight space with him next to me. My entire life just turned upside down. I was hoping to wake up from a bad dream and laugh it off. Nothing is funny about this. I just want to wake up and be back in my small old apartment.

The driver is silent behind the wheel, and the radio's off. His eyes were focused on nothing else but the road. I glance out the window. There's nothing around but trees and acres of land flashing by like an old movie.

The annoying thumping sound of Aaron's fingers typing on his iPhone breaks my silence.

My voice cracks. "Where are we?"

A swooshing sound fills the air as he sends a text. He places his phone in his lap and pulls a laptop from the door pocket. He has his eyes glued to his laptop screen.

"Ashley falls, California. It's a small town in San Diego."

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I've always wanted to visit California. The weather's nice, and people rave about the beautiful beaches. It's my dream to fly out after graduation. Just my luck that all of my dreams were coming true and I wasn't happy.

We don't speak again for the rest of the ride. My brain's scrambled. One part of me wants to embrace this new life. Another part of me felt uneasiness from how quickly things were changing. Just a week ago, I lived in D.C. I had never been out of the district until now. D.C. was my home and where I felt most comfortable. I didn’t know anything about this man or his life in Ashley falls. Not knowing what to expect from the man that begged me to be a part of his life was terrifying. I would've preferred knowing what I was heading into, even though it probably wouldn't make a difference. My gut is telling me to not trust this man, but my heart is telling me to give this new life a chance.

Bright lights glow behind my slitted eyes before I give up the fight to keep them open.