23. WaKe CeReMoNy

Aiyla PoV

My Grand Father's

Death Was Really

Hard To Deal With

-Casey Eastham

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The next day a wake Ceremony was organised by my family members and there were lot's of relatives, friends and neighbors who came to bid my grand dad farewell and to pay him respect.

My grand dad being a lively person, he was respected and loved by all. After his elder brother's death he was the head of the family but even his soul departed.

The house was in total mayhem....cries could be heard...whaling sound from my cousin's were so loud that it was giving me a headache.

People were speaking in muffled voices saying how my grand dad was a great person and it is a big loss to lose a person like him.

Once a lively home turned into a death home surrounded by only crying sounds...the home where I grew up was now lifeless without my grand dad.....

And I did not even wanted to be in that environment....I wanted to hide somewhere and cry my heart out.

Remembering the days spent with him smiling made my heart hurt more. We used to eat our lunch and dinner together, he was the father who fulfilled all our wishes; gave us the love and care that my father..... his son was not able give after his 2nd marriage.

I....I miss him so much...now who will fight for me...who will protect me...

I wish Ronin was here with me....why does everyone whom I love leave me alone in agony to suffer....

I wish I was dead as well atleast I will be free from all the torment and ache but I know if I do anything wrong my grand dad would be disappointed in me.

His...his death was really hard for me to deal with.....

I was a mess..I had not eat or drink since I heard the terrible news.

I had been silent and not a single tear flowed my eyes....as I did not had any tears left in my eyes to cry. I had been crying all night...wanting my grand father to come back to me..

Praying to God to send him back to me...wishing somehow for his life to come back in his body....wishing he would call me and ask me how was I doing or have I eaten or not....

My mother abandoning us was nothing compared to the afflictions I was going through...

Suddenly all the soreness I had ventured in my life seemed meaningless to me.

Yes! My grandfather's death had hit me hard and everyone in the family was worried about me now.

I had completely shut myself down from all the pain...I felt like my body and brain had been paralyzed....

Numbness was the only way to hide my agony.

My dad, cousin's, brother Rylan and relatives were trying to talk to me...but I turned deaf ear to their words.

They were telling me to eat something cause they were worried about my health, as I had already fell unconscious but how could I eat.....when I had lost the person whom I was close to...

Who was very dear to me...my grand father, my guardian angle, my dad, my mom.....

Muffled cry left my mouth...when I realised he won't be coming back to me...

He is gone...gone!

Left me alone in this cruel world! Why oh why...why!

His body was cremated....as it was his wish....he always use to tell my dad and uncle that when he dies...he wished to be cremated and not buried 6 feet under.

For 13 days....our house was filled with people..many other people who knew my grand father came to pay respect and gave us their condolences...

Ceremonies were held for his soul to rest in peace...for 13 days there were different ceremonies going on...

Priest were coming to baptized the house as its said that for 13 days the soul of the departed would not leave the house and it should be christened everyday...

I did not want my grand fathers soul to leave me...

I know I was being selfish but I was holding myself with the belief that atleast he was here with me...his soul is here with me watching over me.

On a heavy rainy night...thunder struck, everything was silent....and sleeping but I was awake weeping for my grand pa...I don't know when I fell asleep....

suddenly I felt the hand soothing my hair lovingly like my grand father used to do it....when I opened my eyes looking for him...

I saw his shadow like indicating me that I'm not alone.... he will always be with me and protect me....

That night was the first in 13 days I slept like a baby....

After that day, my heart felt light....and I knew...knew that my grandfather will always be with me...watching from above and protecting me from the evil of this world....

For him I started smiling again and tried to move on with my usual life....he wanted to see me graduate from college and then from university....

So with pertinacity I moved forward to make his dream come true...to make him proud of me.

I know pa you are watching me from above and is proud of me...for standing up for myself...for fighting for my rights...for making myself strong..

And for making myself successful....

Today even though he is not with me...but he is always with me like a shadow....showering me with his blessings and love!

He was the best grand father anyone could wish for and I was lucky...am lucky to have him in my life.

The love and respect I have for him is forever and he will always be with me in my heart and soul....

I love you and miss you grand pa forever and ever.

Until we meet again!

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I hide my tears when I say your name,

But the pain in my heart is still the same.

Although I smile and seem carefree,

there is no one who misses you

........more than me.

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This chapter is dedicated to all the grand daughters who has/ had lost their loving, caring grandfather.