"Ocean is strong power
 Ocean is our life
If you won't be able to
Survive against its wave
You die"
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Throughout my entire existence, I have wept incessantly due to my shattered heart and ruined life. The pain and suffering I endured, the loss of loved ones, the abandonment by those I held dear, the constant reminders of my worthlessness from everyone around me, and the relentless abuse I endured - all of it left me yearning for love that was never bestowed upon me.

It was my own family who betrayed my trust, repeatedly, until I became nothing more than an empty shell, devoid of any warmth or compassion.

I made a solemn vow to myself that I would never allow my family to hurt me again. I promised to stand up for myself, to become someone who would make those who deemed me insignificant bow down before me.

I made a resolution to persevere and make the most out of my circumstances.

But amidst the deceit and pain inflicted upon me by my own kin, did I ever stumble upon love and happiness?

Let us delve into this matter, shall we?

Survival Journey

I've been smothering Neil with so much phoney love to make him believe in me for the past few weeks that I've finally started loving him with a pure heart. 


I was sick to my stomach pretending to love him; his touches were like serpent poison to me, making me and my body writhe in misery from within. He repulsed me to the core, and I despised being in his presence. 


I tried to stay away from him and his touches, but he always found a reason to touch me or hold my hand; there were times when he tried to have sex with me, but he never got the chance. I guess God was blessing me and protecting me from this so-called evil devil at this time. 


Till now everything was going according to our plan; Ronin and I had split up for the show, and I had caught Neil to repay the misery and cruelty he had inflicted on me over the years, and I had succeeded in convincing him that there was nothing between me and Ronin any longer. 


Neil Fucking Departure