Chapter 35: Rain's Pain

I gave him a smile. He seems to already know what we’re talking about. He then walked away and sat on one of the benches nearby. I focused my attention again on Rain.

"What were you saying, Rain?" I asked, pretending to know nothing.

"Oh, umm..." From being confused, his face quickly turned red. He bent down while holding his own nape. "I j-just want to say that I l-like you."

I saw how he bit his lower lip shyly while trying hard to avoid my eyes. I nodded understandingly like a mature person. I smiled at him as if to say that I appreciate how special he feels for me.

"Actually Rain, I've noticed it already." I tried my best not to laugh when his jaw literally dropped because of what I said. Shock is evident on his face. "Umm, you do know that you're quite obvious, right? I think, all of the band members are aware of your feelings for me."

"R-Really?"

Really? He didn't even notice it?

"Look, you're really a great guy and I appreciate your feelings for me. I really do. But you need to open your eyes. Wake up, Rain. There are a lot of girls out there who deserves you more." I don't want to sound rude. Did I say it right?

"What do you mean?" His brows furrowed.

No. I didn't say it right.

"What I mean is, you do know that I have a bad reputation, right? Rumor has it that I'm crazy and shit. I'm surrounded by negative comments and you, a guy who typically smiles genuinely at particularly everyone and make them feel somewhat special, is something that I don't want to ruin."

Ugh. This is bad. So much for wanting to cut this conversation short. So much for not wanting to trample Rain's feelings.

"My point is, I'm not suitable for you. I'm bad for you."

"Those are nonsense!" I blinked twice when he frustratedly ruffled his hair. "I don't care about what other people say, Ven. My feelings are real. And I want you to understand them."

He looks pissed, alright. What the hell am I doing?

"This is not about your bad reputation or my image, this is about my heart that never stops beating rapidly every time I hear your voice or even when you're just standing near me. I can't control it even if I want too."

I bit my lower lip and sighed heavily. I mentally slapped myself for not being able to handle this situation properly. I tried to organize my thoughts before talking again, "Thank you for feeling that way. Thank you for seeing the good side of me even when it's hard for others to see it and even myself can't see it. Really, thank you."

His face lit up but that was only for a moment because of what I said next.

"But I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way. Let's just stay as close friends, please?" I really feel freaking bad about this. How can I ask the guy I just rejected to keep being close friends with me?

I heard an unexpected laugh from Rain. A laugh that is filled with sadness, pain and... understanding?

"You didn't even have second thoughts," he said after laughing. He took a deep breath and looked up to stare at the blue sky. "You won't even give me a chance?"

He put his two hands inside his pockets. I awkwardly shook my head. "I'm sorry. It's better not to give false hope."

His lips curved into a weak smile. "Looks like it's already over before I even started."

I just smiled at him. It was a relief that he's super understanding this time. I thought he won't give up easily since it's like his nature to insist people. He was so persistent back then when he wanted me to join the band.

"Are you guys done?" Vyl suddenly interrupted.

"Yep, we are.”

Vyl’s gaze went to Rain. I got nervous when they stared at each other for so long! I can almost see an electric line with their stare. Rain was the first one to look away but it didn't escape me the knowing smirk he flashed before murmuring something that I didn't quite catch.

"So, friends?" Rain extended one of his hands to me for a hand shake, which I immediately accepted. I just ignored what I noticed earlier.

"Friends," I said with a cheerful voice. But before I let go, I gave him a clue.

"Umm, Rain?" He looked at me and smiled. "You should try and look around you. There might be someone who's deeply in love with you and is just waiting to be noticed."

And because of that, he frowned. I just gave him a teasing smile and let go from the handshake. I also said that we would go home first because there was an emergency that we had to attend to with a family member which he immediately believed. I asked him a favor to inform the others and he willingly nodded.

We waved goodbye and then left the university.

-------------------------

Ever since we left the university, Vyl has not uttered even a single word.

He was silent the whole day. I always found him spacing out and is obviously deep in thought. Every time our eyes meet, I could feel his silent endless apologies. I could feel his remorse and I feel sorry for him.

He's like blaming himself for everything. Which is partly true but that's not the point! The point is, I never blamed him.

Nightfall came and I decided to take a shower. It has been my routine to take a bath twice a day. When I'm done and went out of my room, I saw Vyl sitting on the couch looking at his feet like it's the most interesting thing in the world. He's deep in his own thoughts again.

I sat beside him without saying a word. I leaned over him and placed my chin on his shoulder. No response at all. Not even a twitch.

"Hey..." I called, trying to get his attention but immediately failed. He didn't even glance at me. I tried again, a bit livelier this time. "Wanna get something to eat?"

Even though I flashed my brightest smile, he just shook his head and looked away. I sighed heavily. What am I going to do with this guy?

I took a deep breath before getting up and going to the kitchen. I guess it's my turn to cook for tonight's dinner. Good thing I still have stocks left in the refrigerator. I tried my best to make our meal tonight delicious as possible. I even added extra seasonings to lift Vyl's current heavy aura. It just took me little longer than usual to cook because of the extra effort.

I was about to call Vyl after preparing everything on the table neatly but I saw an unexpected yet calming scene. Vyl was sleeping soundly on the couch.

I walked slowly towards him, being extra careful not to make any sound to wake him from his peaceful-looking sleep. I sat on the floor to level our faces. I brushed his hair upwards making him unconsciously react to my touch like how a child would. I smiled because of the extreme cuteness.

I remember Hell used to be like this when we were younger. Suddenly passing out on the couch after a long, tiring day from school. I would always caress his hair and just like this, he'll react to my touch. I took a blanket from my room and put it on Vyl who was asleep soundly.

I guess I'll eat alone tonight. I shrugged and sat down at the table and ate alone. I'll just left some for Vyl in case he gets hungry.

After eating, I immediately entered my room to have a good night rest. Sleeping alone feels new to me already.

Idiot Vyl.

I snorted at the thought. After everything that happened today, I almost forgot about the competition tomorrow.

Tomorrow's the big day.