Chapter 8

Author's note: To enjoy this chapter better, listen to "surrender" by Natalie Taylor.

May's POV

Have you ever been in an accident ? Or have you ever crashed into something so hard that you expect the pain to be crippling. Or have you ever fall from a place so high from the ground that when you finally hit the ground, you expect the pain to be very intense and your body subconsciously prepares for impact. Your muscle tighten up to try to brace it self. And everything suddenly goes in slow motion. Have you ever?. And when you feel the ground rushing to meet you, you then know that there is a high possibility that you might not survive this. And when you finally hit the ground you Suddenly, Surprisingly feeling nothing. You then peep to check if you have hit the ground and find that you have but you still feel nothing. Even when you see your self injured bleeding but you still feel nothing as if you are disconnected from your body.

Well I have. And that how I feel now. The first time I felt like this was when I had an accident during gymnastics practice. Let's just say its the reason why after Nationals I didn't make Olympics two years ago.

I feel that way again. When Mom got the call that they have a suspect for Karen's death and that they want us to come back to the station to see if we can identify him. We were already at the cafe on the opposite side of the station so it was really easy and fast for us to get there. All we had to do was cross to the other side of the small road between the two places. When we get to the front of the station I stop for a while. I take a deep breath and walk in without looking to see if my mom and sisters were following. I open the door and walk in to the reception desk. I get to the front desk and find Stacy the officer we met when we were here earlier.

"Hi, officer Stacy, we were called in again to see if we can identify the suspect that was brought in. If I you can please direct us to the officer in charge of the case or something like that."

She looks at me and behind me, "Hey, May, uhm where are the "we" ?"

At first I don't get her meaning until I take a look behind me. Seems like being so self absored in my hurry to get here I didn't realise that my sisters and mom where not beside me.

"Sorry,give me a minute." I say and retrace and steps to find them. I finally see them at the door to the station. Both of my sisters flanking my mom in the middle of the entrance. Seems like they are saying something to her but I can't hear them because of the distance. I catch the tail of a sentence.".....are here for you."

"What happened?" I ask when I finally reach them.

"Its mom. She just stopped moving. Which you would know if you weren't so focused and rushing in alone to see we weren't beside you." Summer says shooting me a hard glare.

I open my mouth to reply but am interrupted before I even start, by April who drags us behind Mom who seems to be in some kind of trance.

"Enough guys, now is not the time to start another one of your meaningless argument. Not now" she says and walks to Mom.

"Well, she started it" Summer and I say at the same time. We give each other a mean glare before walking back to Mom.

"Thank you" April says to us then speaks softly to Mom who seems like she doesn't know what is happening around her. "Momma, are you okay?" April says laying a hand on Mom's shoulder

Mom jerks and looks at the three of us and starts crying and blabbing on, "it's all my fault. It really is. When she told me that Jason was back and that she had a bad feeling about it, I should have told her to listen to it. Instead I told her to brush it up to stress. She said he was always where she was, like he was stalking her. If only I had said something. If I had told her to go to the cops and report him for stalking,things would not have gone this way."

Summer sighs " Mom we've talked about this. We can't be so sure. Besides we are not even sure if Jason is the murderer and we haven't even seen the suspect the police has in custody. It might not even be Jason."

"Yes, mom Summer's right, it might not even be Jason. Let just go in and see who the cops have. " I add

"Momma, we can come back later if you don't feel up for this now or we- Summer, May and I can go in to identify him while you wait here for us" April suggests softly.

Mom turns to look at us,tears glistening in her eyes. "I just-" hiccups " I just don't want to go in. Don't you see, identifying him makes this all real. I don't want it to be real. I still keep hoping that this is just a dream. When I go to bed and wake up I keep expecting Karen to rush In to our place and ask for cream because she forgot to get hers from the store,as always. But going in there and identifying him makes this all real. Permanent. And I don't want that."

April and Summer tear up. Summer hugs Mom. April starts crying. While I just stand there looking at them. Silently and unfeeling.

"Whatever you want to do Momma, just know that we are here for. Always." April says.

To me It seems like hours,although in reality it is really just minutes before Mom straightens up,takes a deep breath,weep her tears, nods and say "okay. I can do this. Let's do this,for Karen."