Just Panic Through It

~Chapter 3~

Breathing, was of course, a necessity of life, but panic had a way of making something innate, near impossible.

Darkness quickly befell her as the hand of Ven, came to rest heavy upon her eyes.

"I think it best if you stepped out," Ven spoke, followed by the receding footsteps of Karanosi.

"I will retire to the sitting room." His voice carried from the hallway as his footsteps faded.

"Mae, he has left. Try to take deeper breaths." Ven's words were calm and slow, yet barely registered as her mind fixated on the circumstances of her new reality.

She was trapped. Injured. Lost. And now, in the company of aliens.

Tears flooded her eyes and poured back towards her ears. Even as he removed his hand, she dared not open her eyes. She wanted this to be a lie. A dream, she was desperate to wake from. She wanted to be asleep in her own bed, tucked under her blanket, with Jack at her side and Koobs at her feet.

Minutes passed, and when her breathing slowed, her panic ebbing, she slowly opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry that he frightened you so. He truly means you no harm. He is a wonderful father, a dragon of good character and reputation. He took me in when I had no one and raised me alongside his own children as if I was one of them. He has seven, if you can believe it. Four boys and three girls in a single brood. Golkic had her hands full, even before I arrived, but she welcomed me regardless. Perhaps she simply wanted an extra set of helping hands, but I couldn't say I was much help; at least not at first. I was still a child in a new and frightening world. And I know our situations aren't the same. I grew up knowing there were other worlds and species out there. My grandfather told me stories of the Dailen Shaad and the worlds beyond from the time I was born until the day he passed. Those stories made it less frightening, but not entirely. There are things in that place that terrify me to this day. I also went willingly, where you stumbled in."

"When can I go home?" she asked.

She didn't care about his life story or whatever stupid message he was trying to make. All she wanted to know was when she was going to be able to see Jack and Koobs again.

"You need to heal first."

"When can I go home?" she asked again, wanting a real answer.

"I don't think now is the time to discuss such things. You need to focus on healing. Stress and worry are only going to prolong the process."

"Then tell me I can leave once I'm well enough to make the journey."

Ven sat still, saying nothing, his eyes glued to the floor.

"Lie to me. Tell me I can leave."

Her tears returned, dripping over the edge of her ears, soaking the fabric of the 'pillow' that was cradling her neck.

"Tell me I can leave," she begged as she cried, but still he offered no response. "TELL ME I CAN LEAVE!" she bellowed, and wailed as the weight of his silence cracked her resolve and ability to remain friendly.

"I am truly sorry," Ven muttered faintly once she had worn herself out.

Even if he hadn't verified it with words, his silence was more than enough to drive home the truth; he wouldn't tell her when, because when was probably never.

"If you're sorry, lie to me," she said, her throat hoarse from the prolong release of the agony she felt.

"I can't. I won't. I will speak the truth. I do not know the answer. Karanosi is the one that would, but your reaction to him…"

"Doesn't matter," she added, cutting him off. "I need answers. Please bring him back."

Leaning over her, Ven gently wiped her tears and nose.

"Try your best to remain calm. I'll return in a few moments."

Reality was harsh, cruel, and unfair. Mae loved her life as it had been. She had been with Jack since college and they had been married for six years. They had never wanted children, but Mae had always wanted a dog to keep her company, as she worked from home. So, Jack, being Jack, adopted Koobs from a rescue and brought him home for her as a surprise, three years previous, randomly, just because. Jack was always full of surprises. He had planned vacations without revealing destinations. Date nights, entirely on whims. He cared and loved, supported and regarded, protected and provided with dignity and esteem. And he never failed to consider her even when he wanted to do something for himself. They were solid and good. Their crazy danced to a tune that only they could hear. And then Koobs began his dance with them. The sweet, beautiful, gentle giant, with velvet soft ears, bright doughy eyes, and sleek black fur, was a constant cuddle companion. Always by her side, ready to snuggle at the sniff of an opportunity. She tried not to think about them, her eyes already stung from the constant flow of tears, and her neck itched from being pressed against the wet fabric. The last thing she wanted to do was to start crying again. So, she stared at the ceiling, and counted the stripes until the distinctive gait of Karanosi crept into the room.

Closing her eyes as he approached, she listened to the sounds he made and felt the way the air moved across her face as he sat down next to where she lay.

"I know my presence is upsetting for you. First contact is never an easy thing. However, being able to speak does give us a small advantage. I can assure you that I mean you no harm. I can tell you that I welcome you in my home, and that my family will do everything that they can to get you healed and to keep you comfortable. Venificus is taking responsibility. You will not be left to fend for yourself. You need not worry about bothersome things."

"When can I go home?" she asked her question, finding it easier to be courageous with her eyes clenched shut.

She heard him take a deep breath, and the footsteps of Venificus as he came into the room, although to her it seemed that he stopped moving just inside the doorway.

"That is a complicated matter. Time moves differently for all worlds, and I will do my best to explain. To return through the Dailen Shaad, providing the arrival of a new Dimensional Matrix crystal, and repairs to the Gate drive can be completed, on Nubarra, ten years will have passed. For you, it will be much longer."

"How much longer?"

He paused before he answered, "Seventy. You will be here for 70 years."

The number was shocking and pounding through her head, like a message being chiseled into stone. Seventy years was a staggering number. It was longer than she expected herself to live, and that realization left her, numb. Her mind, unwilling or perhaps unable to reconcile the information, shut off and went blank.

Opening her eyes, she looked over at Karanosi, a quick laugh escaping her. She felt nothing at the sight of him. No fear. No panic. Nothing. He, in all his marvel, unique in splendor, and awe-inspiring beauty, and she was empty.

"I'm going to die before I even get a chance to go home," she said, followed by a nervous laugh. "I'm going to die here." She giggled as she returned her eyes to the ceiling and grew deathly still and quiet.

"I am truly sorry. I understand how devastating this news must be."

"You understand nothing. You should have let me drown."

"Perhaps, but since you are alive, thus you should live. Just because you arrived through the Dailen Shaad, does not mean that is the only way for you to return. It is simply the one that I am most familiar with. Sah'Korhune and Nubarra's time differential is a perfect 7 to 1 ratio. Yes, you will lose time with your family, but that cannot be avoided. But it also means that you have time enough to recover and seek out other potential ways of returning to your home world. There are beings of immense power here. They are known as Aspects. Some even consider them to be gods. You may be able to approach one or more of them, and they may be willing to aid you. But I warn you now, their services will come at a cost. Your other option would be to find a Serini. The people call them Oracles, and depending on which side of the war you fall on will determine which race of Serini you seek out. They maybe more reasonable than an Aspect, but it may take you years just to find one, if one doesn't come to you first. And there may still be more options that I'm unaware of. Being a dragon doesn't mean I know everything, despite what Venificus might wish for you to believe, but I will do my best to help wherever I can. All is not lost, Mae of Nubarra, so let us focus on what comes first."

"I'm tired," she replied, her words empty and devoid of life.

She had never stopped counting the stripes on the ceiling. She hadn't heard much of what Karanosi had being saying, having 'checked-out' the moment he said 'perhaps', and what she did catch, sounded like daunting lies meant to give her hope, where truly there was none to be found.

Mae wasn't foolish or arrogant, she was well aware of her lot in life. She was a housewife from a small town in the middle of nowhere, with a worthless college degree in a field she worked in for less than six months, five years ago, before Jack gave her the support she needed to quit her job to pursue her passion. She was a professional Seamstress and Mascareri, finding joy in making elaborate custom costumes, dresses, and masks. She enjoyed creating and building, and what a carpenter could do with a hammer and nails, she could do on a smaller scale, preferably with a glue gun, although nails were never out of the question. But she knew her limitations. She wasn't as fit as she should have been and while she was thin, she had never been all that athletic. A knee injury when she was still in public school had left her with a shattered cartilage that was surgically removed when she was just 16. A decade on and swimming was the only sport that didn't leave her knee throbbing, and she doubted the emergency light-weight brace she toted around in her purse, was going to be enough to keep her going, and the bottle of pain killers, which was near empty, was also due to expire.

"I'll leave you to your rest. Ven and I will be close by. Please yell if you need us," he remarked as he stood. "We will be returning in a bit more than an hour to start changing your bandages, regardless."

She listened as he walked away, Venificus, who had said nothing, following behind him.

She was tired. This had all been emotionally draining, and she had nothing left. She couldn't grasp the hope Karanosi had dangled before her, and the journey, 70 years, back to Jack, seemed impossible. Even if, by some miracle, she lived that long, she would be an old woman by the time she returned, and for him, it would have only been a decade. A decade of not knowing where she had been or why she'd never come home. A decade of him possibly being blamed for her disappearance or worse, being charged and convicted for something he couldn't have possibly done. And Koobs, their precious dog-son, he would be 19 by the time she returned, and that was impossible for his breed. No matter what happened, she knew that chances of seeing him alive again were next to impossible. He would die believing she had abandoned him. It was all too much for her to take. Her heart was broken.

She was alone now, unable to move, trapped in a foreign room on an alien planet, and no longer cared to hold back her sorrow. Tears soon flooded into her eyes, and she silently cried herself to sleep.