Releasing The Press Hounds

As they entered the room they were assaulted by the sound of all of the reporters there trying to shout over each other asking questions. After a brief wince at the painful volume, Stephan raised his hand in a stop gesture and, grabbing the microphone that Ranita offered, told the surprisingly crowded room, "Quiet guys! And gals too! I will be answering relevant questions for a short time after our announcement. So please sit down and try to be quiet until I am done because I really hate having to talk like I'm a football coach or you're half deaf."

As the room quieted down and finally got to where he could talk in a more normal level and tone of voice, he then continued, "Ok. Now, let's start off with the usual introductions for anyone here that is unfamiliar with our company. To my left is my Operations Manager Ranita who is head of Marketing, Accounting, Payroll, and most of the rest of the office's departments. To my right is Rachel who is one of my two lead engineers in the Engineering and Production department. As many of you that have covered our past products know, we just completed a test of our current project.

For those of you that don't already know, this project was a test of a new rocket engine powered by a quantum energy engine. This may sound like an impossible idea, but you are all holding something that uses quantum energy in your hands to record this speech and take notes for your later articles. As for that test flight, I don't know what information NASA may or may not have released already, but during this test we were able to achieve a speed that was 25% of the speed of light."

After all the exclamations and shouts of disbelief, he continued, "I know many of you are having trouble believing this but it is absolutely true. For proof I have a nice little picture for you that I took with my phone as we were circling Pluto the other day." He then used his phone to show the picture on the projector screen behind him and continued, "As you can see in the corner of the screen that is Saturn with it's rings while half of the picture is taken up by the giant ball of ice that is Pluto. And, for those of you thinking this has been photoshopped, consider the fact that no other space agency has ever been able to take a picture of the dark side of Pluto."

After giving them a minute to process the information and to take their own photos, Stephan told them, "Now, during this flight we did experience some electrical glitches that kept causing the engine to shut off but, being as we were able to identify the problem and were already working on correcting it on the way back, we are confident that we will have it corrected over the next couple of test flights we have planned. And, after we have completed these test flights to ensure reliable operation parameters, we are planning on starting the project I called you here to announce."

Knowing it would torment the reporters, he paused to slowly drink a glass of water before continuing, "So, after being able to reach Pluto in less than a day, we discussed things on the way back and have decided that, with us being able to make it to Mars in just an hour, we are planning on starting our own colony on mars that will be focused on mainly being a farm that will grow and harvest the food that might be needed by the coplonies that have already been established but have been limited in size due to the time it takes current rockets to supply them with food and manpower or any equipment needed in emergency situations."

As the room exploded with questions Stephan held up his hand again and, after quieting the group once more, finished, "To help kill the most asked questions when something like this comes up I will say this. First, yes we are serious and will be developing plans for structures, equipment, and such needed before taking applications from everyday people that are interested in joining the colony. Second, No we are not looking for aliens or in secret contact with them or planning on using this as a cover for secretly abducting folks for them. Sorry, but we're being serious and are looking at using this rocket's capabilities to seriously open up a chance to travel and live on other worlds. And, in case you are the type thinking of starting some galactic empire or some similar egotistic goal involving you getting rich off this deal, I'm gonna have to shatter your dreams because this colony is going to be run with a setup similar to how I run this company. This means that everyone is going to have to work together to succeed and everyone will be assigned to duties they are better at and will be expected to help other jobs as needed. So no lazy bums thinking they can pay folks to do their part too will be able to make it in this colony without getting sent back home. Now, with all of that out of the way, any relevant questions before we come to a close for today?"

They all later rejoined each other in the smaller meeting room for a relaxing dinner before wrapping up what they had all been working on and heading home for the day. And, with Stephan and Ranita just finishing with the press after Rachel had run off as soon as the questions had started, Dawn asked them, "So how did the circus show go after Rachel bailed on ya? Cause she's already told us about how they looked like dogs drooling over a T-bone steak when she snuck out."

"That would be an understatement." Ranita supplied, "They started asking stuff so fast that they couldn't even finish their first question before they started asking their second or started sounding like they were stroking out or something."

"Yeah." Stephan added, "I had to make them all shut up and wait in turn telling them I was gonna go down the line one question at a time before they stopped acting like gossip paper news hounds and started acting like real news reporters."

Ranita laughed and reminded Stephan, "Don't forget that one guy from Fox that kept asking if we were going to allow prostitutes to apply or if we were planning on setting up a porn studio on Mars to avoid the laws that different countries, cities, and states had passed restricting porn of all forms."

Stephan then snorted and asked her, "Or that one from CNN that asked if we were going to dress up like aliens so we could … umm... stick... personal apendages.... in the behinds of our colonists and get away with it."

"Uh... Wow!" Dawn responded, "So did you get any that asked any real questions instead of trying to bait you in to whichever conspiracy theory was their networks favorite scandal?"

"Oh, yeah. Most of the smaller or the more serious network guys had some real in depth questions." Stephan answered, "And there was two or three of them that even asked when we were gonna start taking applications and if we would allow them to apply too."

"But," Ranita interjected, "I think only one of them was seriously interested and would want to really take part in whatever role we gave him. The other two struck me as just wanting to go for the attention they would get from being able to claim the first reporter on Mars award."

"Either way," Stephan concluded, "I think it was fruitful and will get this project started on the right foot because I called out the guys trying to bait me into their network's current scandal narrative and gave more in depth answers to the reporters asking serious questions so they would know that I wasn't fixing to play these games they've been playing with folks."

Holly then asked, "Speaking of these applications, when do you think we want to start asking for them? And what type of information and other questions do you think we should be asking for on them?"

To this Rachel quickly butted in, "I think we should ask some simple engineering questions that an ordinary farmer or hands on worker would know but those thinking their degrees made them better choices would overthink their answers on and come off sounding like clowns. Like say, we ask them how do they determine if a light needs a new bulb. Dr Smarty pants would go on and on about how they would test the amperage and then inspect the wiring and the integrity of the bulb and etcetera etcetera etcetera. But old Joe Blow would simply say he'd flip the switch a couple times and tap the bulb to make sure then unscrew the old one and then screw the new one in."

"Or," Holly added while laughing, "How many bales of hay they have been able to harvest from a wet field? Cause real farmers know you have to wait for the stuff to dry whereas old brainiac would think a wet field would grow more hay and thus harvest more."

"Well then ladies," Stephan told them, "How about we each come up with questions and information we think we should ask for and then next week we will go through it all and agree on the best ones to ask?" When they all then agrred, he finished, "Now that we have that out the way and I have finished putting away my burgers, I say we close up for the day and go make friends with our beds till in the morning."