~ Goodbyes ~

"Am I supposed to be afraid of dying?" The words poured off Winter's lips as if they held no significance. "People die all the time."

The King studied her face. He examined the way her jaw was set sternly like usual, the way her gaze never faltered and the way her face showed no passing emotions.

After Lysander and Winter returned from riding with grim expressions, the King and Alexion decided it was best to tell Winter the truth. No matter how hard they tried, they weren't capable of finding out who leaked the information to her. It was better to come clean.

Winter's existence in itself went against the astral gods' ruling. The Del Silvermond bloodline was incapable of producing female heirs. When Aiden was born without a complete soul, Winter's body was used as his vessel. Her soul was not hers, but the other half of Aiden's.

As such, there were all sorts of problems with Winter's very being. Her affinity development and ability were abnormal, causing an early manifestation in the form of a near death experience. Furthermore, fate seemed to tug at her like a puppet controlled by its strings. Winter was consistently pulled into a series of unfortunate accidents, whether it be almost dying by the very power gifted by the gods or almost riding off a waterfall.

For natural order to return, nature had to run its course and Winter was supposed to die. Only through death would the half of Aiden's soul that she held be returned to him.

The King sighed. "You're allowed to be weak."

Winter smiled. It was an empty smile, the kind that made your heart ache. "I never said I was strong. I said I wasn't afraid."

Lysander pounded his fist on the table, causing the maids on standby to flinch. "How can you not be afraid?"

"Because I always felt that my being in this world was related to Aiden's survival," She said softly. It was the truth. Winter knew that she was in this world to ensure that Aiden lived.

"Winter," Alexion sighed loudly, slipping his hand into hers under the table. "We won't let you die."

Winter hesitated. "Have you ever thought about how this might affect Aiden? Will Aiden's manifestation almost kill him? Will he even be able to use his affinity?"

The King shook his head. "Winter, there's no way for us to know anything at this exact moment in time."

Winter's heart dropped as she thought about how brightly Aiden's eyes shone whenever he talked about affinities.

"Think about yourself," Lysander said in a cold voice, clenching his fist tightly. "You're always thinking about Aiden. Think about yourself. You're, you're a person too... how... just how can..."

"Death doesn't scare me," Winter reassured him, squeezing Alexion's hand. "It's a part of life."

"Stop talking like you're going to die!" The King raised his voice. A few maids who waited patiently for instructions amongst the wall fainted.

"Why?" Alexion asked her, eyes flooding with anger. "Just why are you so okay with it?"

Winter sighed. Truthfully Winter didn't want to die, but she didn't want to be greedy. She had lived a life already as Illia and was given a second chance. She got to experience so many things in her short time as Winter. Things she knew she wasn't meant to experience. She wanted to live, but not if it meant keeping something that wasn't hers.

She clenched her fist on the fabric of her riding jacket, mind lost in thought. She knew how important her death was to the storyline of this book. It was the whole reason why Aiden rose to power. He did it to avenge her.

Was she really okay it? Why was she okay with dying?

She smiled weakly. "Some things aren't meant to be in our control. I'm okay with it because I've always known this wasn't rightfully my life to live."

"Just what are you saying?" The King's teacup broke in his grasp, crimson red blood flowed from where its shards pierced his skin. "Who even told you this? How did you know?"

"The gods." She said, mind running wild with thoughts. In a way, the gods did tell her. They gave her a life with a role she already knew she had to fulfill, yet she chose to go against it.

That was why. The reason why she was so okay with dying is because she always felt out of tune with her reality. She always felt like she was viewing things in a 2D way. There was never actual colour, or smells, or music. To her, it was all just words. A plot line. Characters. It wasn't real.

"Hey," She said, voice faltering. "If Aiden asks about this, you can't ever tell him."

"He deserves to know, just as you did." Lysander said, knuckles whitening from his trembling hands. "He won't believe me if I don't tell him the truth."

Winter chuckled softly. "Yes he will, because he's a child. Children will swallow whatever pills you give them."

"You're a child, Winter." The King said, strengthening his grip on the shards of cracked porcelain.

Winter shook her head, watching his blood hit the table in steady drops. "I haven't been a child for a long time now."

She slipped her hand out of Alexion's grip, standing up from her seat. It was the truth. She had been playing dress up for so long that she had forgotten who she truly was.

"I'm tired so I'll be retiring now," She said softly, turning away without giving them the space to utter another word.

She didn't want to hear their pleas. She didn't want their reassurance or their emotions. She wanted to go while she still could, without any regrets or lingering attachments. She wanted to go before they could completely thaw her frozen heart.

She turned back to them once before leaving the room. "Sometimes, you're given something for a reason. Everyone in this world has a part to play."

That night, while the twins lay in the faint lamp-light glowing in their dark room, Winter asked Aiden a question.

"Aiden?"

"Mhm?" He muttered in a sleep-like state.

"What would happen if I were to die?"

Aiden hesitated. "I'd lose myself."

"But you're not alone anymore, you have others now."

"I guess so," He said in a sleepy voice, "But having others and having you are not the same."

"Even if I did something horrible and took away what was yours?"

"You and I never had anything to begin with," He whined, turning over in bed. "The little that we had was always shared. You gave me your bread when you were hungry. There's nothing you could take from me that would make me okay with you dying."

Winter frowned. Would she ever be able to say her goodbyes to this place? To these people?

She turned over under the mountain of blankets, slipping her hands into Aiden's. His half-closed eyes studied her expression in the faint light.

"Even if the whole world wanted me dead?"

"I'd still want you alive."

"Even if the gods wanted me dead?"

"I wouldn't let them take you."

Winter said nothing.

"You know," He told her, whispering in the darkness. "Your eyes. I can always tell what you're thinking from your eyes."

She smiled softly. "What am I thinking right now?"

"You're thinking it's okay for you to die."

Winter flinched, instinctively shutting her eyes to prevent him from seeing any further into the soul that wasn't hers.

"If you leave me, I'd follow you."

Winter peeked one of her eyes open. "You'd follow me into death?"

Aiden nodded, his curls bouncing slightly with the movement. "I'd even destroy the world for you."

"Silly," She slipped her hand free from his and flicked his forehead. "I wouldn't want that."

Aiden furrowed his brows, smiling slightly at her attempt to scold him. "I'm going to get plenty strong so I can protect you the way you protected me. I'll give you everything after that, okay?"

Winter nodded, running a hand through his curls.

"I'd conquer the Kingdom if you wanted me to."

Winter paused. "Do... do you think of the King and the Princes as your family?"

"The only true family I have is Winter."

Winter felt her stomach drop. She had forgotten the reason why Aiden killed the King and the other Princes. Aiden Del Silvermond murdered them because he lost his only family. He murdered them because they left Winter behind. The reason why the book was called "The Cursed Winter" was not because of Winter's curse, but because of Aiden's.

Aiden slaughtered countless lives because he was cursed by the shackles of his twin sister's early death. Winter's existence wasn't the curse. Her abandonment was. The one who was cursed wasn't Winter. It was Aiden. And Winter was the curse.