~ Letting Go ~

Esme's breath rose in a cloud of white vapour that contrasted the rather darkening mood. Since they started moving Prince Aiden's belongings, the temperature in the bedroom had drastically dropped. There was no doubt about it- this was because of the Princess. In fact, it was so cold that miniature icicles had begun to form on the corners of the furniture.

Esme sighed, carefully arranging Aiden's ties and cravats in a box. She- no, they all- would have preferred if the Princess threw a tantrum and cried like a normal nine-year-old child. But Winter only claimed to be tired and went back to resting once the moving procedures had begun. Although she was safely tucked away under her covers, the temperature in the room suggested she was emotionally affected more than she let on.

Prince Aiden had begun acting differently the moment he woke up this morning. Nobody knew why, as the twins fighting was something that had been unimaginable only a day ago.

Esme trembled from the cold, hurrying her pace along with the other maids. If they didn't finish soon, they'd probably die from frostbite.

"Princess," She called regretfully, tightening her grip on the box of Aiden's belongings. "Are you sure you don't need anything? Perhaps I should call for Etrix or one of the other Princes. If Your Highness is feeling unwell, you must let me know."

It was widely known inside the Palace walls that the only Princess of the Empire was struggling with her early awakening. As such, the staff did everything they could to help her keep her emotions under control. They were very cautious around her, as if they were walking on egg shells.

Winter sat up in bed with a forlorn expression. "Why is he doing this? Just what's gotten into that child?"

No matter how she thought about it, Winter couldn't come up with a probable reason as to why Aiden was behaving the way he was. Her Aiden, the same child who was often scolded for clinging onto her so often, was pushing her away and driving a wedge between them. The thought didn't make sense to her.

'Well, if he wants to go then I can't help it.'

"Never mind," She said again, before Esme's comforting words could reach her ears. "If he wants to go, then I'll let him go."

~***~

"Say that again."

"The twins seem to not be on good terms," The King's aide repeated, adjusting his glasses on the nose of his bridge. "The third Prince requested for a room change this morning and apparently there was a minor dispute in the library between the two."

The King sighed, fire burning in his veins. As he thought, twins were the most difficult. Caderyn ran a hand through his dishevelled golden hair, leaning back in his desk chair with slumped shoulders.

'How should I handle this?'

"What was the fight about?" He asked after basking in his own silence for some time.

The aide shook his head with disdain. "It has been reported by serval witnesses that Prince Aiden was rude to the Princess when she interrupted his studies."

"Rude?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

The King pursed his lips, green eyes glowing menacingly in the oil lamp light. "What are the twins doing now?"

"Prince Aiden is currently with the knights and Princess Winter is resting in her room."

"Very well," The King said, rising from his seat. "I will resolve this matter. Tend to the unfinished documents for the time being."

The aide sighed, watching the King leave before completing today's work. He was afraid that Caderyn might make things worse. After all, he wasn't there to personally see the new atmosphere between the twins. The King also wasn't the most sympathetic person.

'I heard from the head maid that it was pretty bad.'

~***~

Winter sighed, watching her reflection on the surface of the orange tea. Ever since she had that nightmare of her past-life, things have grown difficult for her in this life. The more time she spent as Winter, the more her memories of who she used to be faded.

'Was I murdered?'

Truthfully, Winter couldn't even remember what she looked like as Illia. Yet for some reason she was left with a bubbling feeling of injustice when she thought about her life as her. If that was in fact a memory and not a nightmare, then it was very clear that she was murdered by someone she trusted.

How could the memories of her death be so faint, yet the feeling of her blood on her fingertips feel so familiar?

"Is something bothering you?" The King asked her, sipping his tea carefully with a puzzled expression.

She was told that the King was looking for her in the greenhouse a short while ago. She thought he was going to interrogate her about the situation with Aiden, but it seemed like he only wanted to have tea.

Winter shook her head. "It's not something Your Majesty should concern himself with."

Winter knew that the fact that she had lived more than one life was one that she should take with her to her grave. The original Winter had died in that attic. If those around her found out she wasn't actually her, would they still look at her with warm and affectionate eyes?

The King's prophets did not seem to know that her soul had wandered into Winter's body, so she had assumed that the gods didn't want this fact to reach his ears.

'If the King found out that Aiden's soul was normal, then he would have no reason to kill me. The gods probably wanted to prevent that.'

"Father," The King said, interfering her train of thought. "Just once, I'd like for you to call me father."

Winter knew that she had drawn strict lines between herself and the other Royal family members. It was something she did without much thought. Maybe the guilt of taking over Winter's body weighed down on her actions and thoughts without her knowing. She had a difficult time loving a family that truly wasn't hers.

"Did you really not know about us?" The question slipped from Winter's tea-stained lips like fleeting water. It was something she always wanted to know. Why did he only come get them after eight years?

The King placed his teacup down gently, the sound of porcelain against a saucer clinking ever so softly. His golden hair shimmered in the sunlight similarly to the way Aiden's did. The familiarity of it left Winter with a bitter taste in her mouth and a conflicting melancholic feeling.

"I loved your mother."

"My, my mother..?"

His response had nothing to do with her question. Winter frowned at his words, turning her gaze away from his shimmering hair and ice green eyes. The longer she stared at them, the more her chest ached with the thought of Aiden.

"Indra was brought here against her own wishes. After I fell in love with her, I told her that if she wanted to go then I wouldn't stop her. When you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go."

Winter twisted in her seat uncomfortably. Is that why she didn't stop Aiden from leaving?

"One morning she just disappeared," He continued, watching the tea in his cup with a sad expression. "She left me a note saying she wanted to leave and that if I truly loved her, then I should let her go. I wanted to go after her more than anything. I wanted to tear the capital apart just searching for her, but I stopped myself from doing it."

"You... you didn't know?"

The King nodded, wrapping his fingers around the curved handle of his teacup. "I only found out that she was pregnant after a beaten-up witness crawled to the palace. That day, I dispatched every unit of soldiers in my power to search for her and my child."

'A witness? Was it the lady who took care of Winter and Aiden when they were babies?'

"Regardless of that," He said with a sigh. "It was my fault for being neglectful. I didn't know she was being verbally and physically harassed by the other concub... ladies... by the other ladies in the palace."

Winter paused. "When you love someone, you should let them go. Right?"

Winter knew that if you have trouble relinquishing control over something or someone, then it's best to try and let them go. To truly love someone enough to let them go means that you respect their autonomy. Her entire life, Aiden has leaned on her for support and love. She knew she should be happy that he was learning to stand on his own two feet. But why did it hurt so much?

"I loved your mother," He responded in a soft tone that reminded Winter of a gentle spring breeze. "I loved her, so I let her go."

"Then it's only right for me to let Aiden go."

The King paused, letting her words soak in. Was this really something a nine-year-old could grasp so easily? From the start he knew Winter was far more mature than other children, but her ability to grasp complicated concepts in life without experience was surprising.

"Your eyes look like they've seen far more years of life than mine," He responded, watching the way she gazed at him with eyes full of understanding. From the beginning, her eyes never looked like they belonged to a nine-year-old child.

"That might be true," She said with an empty smile, a smile she often wore. "But you wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

'I'm not who you think I am.'

The King wished he knew why his daughter always smiled like that. He initially wanted to find out more about the twins' fight, but he felt as if their conversation today was far more helpful to them both.

"You're letting Aiden go?"

Winter nodded. "I'm going to let him learn to be his own person now. As someone he's relied on for so long, I should be happy he's growing on his own. I shouldn't be greedy because it'll only hurt us both."

"Did you read that in a philosophy book?" The King asked, trying to understand how such words came from such a young child.

Winter shook her head with a slight chuckle. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"Growing up the way I did, it was hard to figure out the world surrounding me and who I was. The world felt extremely vast, beyond my grasp. I lived in my own personal world in that attic, a small bubble which no one else could see, experience or care about. I always felt as if no one could understand my pain. No one but Aiden."

The King said nothing. How was he supposed to comfort her when he knew he could never understand? He didn't want to bleed empty words knowing they would only hurt her more.

"When you feel like you're losing the only one who understands you, you feel as if you're drowning in that vastness."

"But," He told her after careful consideration. "What if the world isn't so big anymore? You're not alone anymore, Winter. Letting go doesn't mean you have to accept being alone."

"Thank you," She told him. "Thank you, father."

The King flinched. She had finally called him father.

Since she loved Aiden, she decided to let him go. In a world where everything seemed out of reach, the only one who could understand the nightmares that plagued her seemed to be floating away into that vastness. He was now further than an arm's length away.

She had grown up believing she would be abandoned, but when the time actually came, she wasn't ready for it. If she only had five more minutes with him. If only she could hold Aiden back and beg him to stay with her. Winter knew that him requesting to move rooms held a deeper meaning: Aiden no longer needed her.

She did what she planned to. She helped him survive and grow into the character he would be in the novel. So why did it all feel so wrong?

'Please don't go too far. Don't go further than I can reach.'

She sipped her tea, wishing her silent pleads would reach him... wherever he chose to go.