Sometimes, it really isn’t fair (part three)

I just stared at Viola- moved my left hand over her head and patted her. It was a miracle that I could move my left arm at all, let alone do a bit of patting- but it didn't matter. "I'm sorry. I never meant to use you. It must have been tough- but- whether you believe me or not- I- I will never discard you." I didn't know who I was mimicking but the words felt cheap. "You see, I have to fight a demon god- I just have to. He's very strong and because of that, I have to get stronger. I don't know if I'll live or die. I don't know. That's why I didn't want to marry you and that's why I'm leaving." I touched her cheeks and tried to wipe her tears. It wasn't working. 

After all, I couldn't even convince myself, let alone someone else. 

A new stream of tears started coming down from her eyes. "Then take me with you. Then- make me believe you will take my responsibility. Then love me!" She dropped the knife on the floor and came for my lips.