Worth fighting for

Six months ago.

***

Today is the 30th of October 2026.

For the 1st time since I woke up, I am recording how I feel. The doctor told me it would do me good since I might be staying in the hospital for a while.

Recording would keep me busy and help me deal with my trauma, he said.

I woke up yesterday, unable to move anything other than my head.

The doctor said they were still inspecting my condition. He said they had never seen anything like that before.

I hope to recover quickly so I can fly again.

Thankfully Eléonore and Julien are alright. I mean, they got some severe bruises, but nothing too serious, I heard. Unfortunately, I have yet to see them.

They're alive. I saved them!

Apparently, I dislocated my shoulders and tore down many of my arm muscles.

But since I don't feel pain there, I guess it's not too bad.

I just have that stupid headache.

It's killing me. It hurts so badly.

***

Eléonore visited me earlier.

She told me Juliette had called her several times during the operation, and she called her back as soon as she woke up.

There comes the big news: the 5th force got named, and more importantly, its origin and behavior seem to fit the string theory.

You'd have to ask Julien to explain that; I'm just repeating what I heard word for word.

What's important is that research around the world has finally borne some fruition.

Many governments are working on some shiny tech to take advantage of the string force as a power source or are simply trying to create diffusers like the prototype we saved from destruction.

It's big news, it's great, so maybe our society won't collapse after all.

I'd hate to stop playing my games.

I still haven't reached the golden league of Leagues Of Legends. That's not good. I gotta work harder.

There's a catch to that big news, though: the coming of the string force is unstoppable and accelerating.

It means it'll be everywhere in not too small amount sometimes soon in the future, not just near the anomalies. So it'll be everywhere, it'll be something people will have to get used to.

So, I guess that the world is ending after all.

Ahhhh well, whatever. I need first to recover real quick.

***

Today is the 3rd of November 2026.

The headaches never stopped. Any moment the doc stops giving me meds, they come back, and it hurts like hell.

I haven't made any improvement at all.

Or nothing I can notice.

I still can't move my arms nor my legs.

It's been five days since the accident.

I've been put under many scanners, and every single time the docs give me that look: "I'm clueless on what to do with you."

I... did I screw my body too hard?

What will I do?

It can't be real, right?

Surely medicine can do something about it today, right?

I'm really worried now.

***

Today is the 5th of November 2026.

It hurts.

It still hurts even after a full week of staying still.

Cause I feel like crap.

My head hurts but not the rest of my body, and it should be a good thing, but it's not.

That's the problem.

I still can't feel anything below my neck.

I don't feel pain nor touch.

I can't move my arms, nor my legs.

It still hasn't improved.

The doctor finally told me yesterday.

That I had lost touch of anything below my neck.

Simply put, my nerves are broken. They were burned. A "unique" condition, he said.

I have become a quadriplegic.

I have become useless.

I won't be able to do anything in my life.

I'll never have a girlfriend, and I can never follow my friends again.

I feel like dying.

I want to cry.

I want to wake up from this nightmare.

Why me?

***

Today is the 7th of November 2026

I can't stop crying.

I feel weak. Miserable.

What's the point of living if you can't do anything.

I spend my time sleeping and watching TV.

I never thought that I'd have the time to watch animes all day again.

That's the good thing, oh, and the headaches are a little less painful than before.

The bad thing is that this damn TV has been on and off for the past two days.

God, you took my arms and my legs. Can you at least give me a stable internet connection and uninterrupted streaming?

Seriously though, it's not just the TV that's on and off. It's the whole electricity stuff.

Julien told me that more and more power lines are becoming broken in the country.

As a result, well, the power grid has become too crappy to support average electricity consumption.

As it turns out, this hospital is on a separate grid, but even though we have frequent outages.

It must be worst in cities.

The world is doomed, and me with it.

I want to wake up from this nightmare...

Maybe if I sleep long enough, everything will be fixed?

***

It's been two or three weeks since I woke up paralyzed.

I don't keep count of the date anymore.

It just goes faster this way.

I've finally caught up with the latest movies and TV shows I haven't been able to watch lately.

I don't know what else to do now.

I know I am supposed to keep living.

But what's the point?

When I told Julien and Eléonore that I wanted to die... they cried.

They said they were sorry.

Well I was indeed forced into this condition to save them.

But it doesn't matter.

I hated that at first, but then what's the point.

What's done is done.

I'm glad I saved them; it would have been one great thing I've done before dying.

Even weeks after I became paralyzed, I still have headaches. I seriously don't know what to do about those.

It's driving me crazy.

Can you imagine how it feels? Being in pain every second you're awake?

What's more, I have enough of being fed and being taken care of by people.

Even I have some pride.

I don't know what to do.

I can't do anything.

TV said that organized crimes have surged by 1000% in the past several weeks.

This bastard, "Jurgen," is probably very busy these days.

He has never been caught, but thankfully our foster families have immediately moved to secured places since Altin disappeared... well... died.

If there is one thing to keep me alive, it is the wish to take revenge for my friend and accompany Julien and Eléonore any way I can.

They're my new family.

And yet... I am so down. I feel that the future is so dark, so much dark that it is not worth fighting for.

I feel that my life has been rendered pointless, even more so than before.

Why am I living?

Eléonore and Julien told me I will have a big surprise tomorrow.

I wonder what.

***

I MOVED!

Or more like I rolled, but, still, I MOVED!

By myself.

It was amazing.

They put me in a wheelchair, a very special wheelchair.

It has a dedicated small engine with a very big battery.

It goes the way my head moves and can accelerate or break whether I move my jaw in a particular direction.

It was a bit crazy at first. I was going out of control when I first talked about how cool it was. Yeah. Because I was moving my jaw with the thing not yet calibrated.

Anyway, I'm officially out of the hospital room. Great!

I'm going to talk to Brener tomorrow. Seeing if there's anything I can do. I want to follow Julien and Eléonore on their missions if I can.

I can't wait to know.

***

He said no.

He said I could not be part of the unicorn squad anymore. That he'll have to find other people to fill it.

When I became angry at his words, he said I was a liability.

A liability.

In other words, less than useless: a problem, something preventing something from being done.

I can't believe it.

I gave my life for the platoon, and yet I am now rejected as a defect.

***

What will I do?

What will I do?

What will I do?

Where can I go?

What will I do in my life?

I am so sad...

I don't know...

If only I could recover...

God, why have you let me down?

Why did I do wrong?

I feel so alone.

Eléonore and Julien have been going out so much lately.

It's just by myself.

Here in the hospital.

Forever.

Suffering.

What will I do...?

***

It's been many weeks, perhaps months, since I last recorded a message.

I've checked the way to the train station not far from this hospital.

It's crowded with activity day and night.

The army's seriously revamping the whole camp into who knows what.

I see trucks and wagons discharging new equipment every day and night. A lot of people are moving in too.

Seems like this place is no longer a secret.

Nor is the Espadon platoon.

They even aired on TV.

Lately, they have prevented a nuclear power plant from going out of control.

Amazing.

Me? Just watching.

And planning my trip to the train station.

It's doable on a wheelchair. No stairs, nothing prevented me from reaching the platform;

Nothing prevented me from rolling on the rails at the right time.

My friends, I hope you can forgive me for what I'm doing to do.

Please understand.

My life has no meaning anymore.

I have no future.

Stop thinking about me.

Go on with your lives.

Thank you... for everything.

If you find this message or find out about my plans before I execute them...

Please don't stop me;

It's what I wish.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

... and I'm sorry

Your friend forever,

Paul

***

A teenager rolled in his wheelchair across the busy road to the train station. It was a short distance from the hospital of the village, barely 3 km.

The wheelchair seemed a little special; the teenager couldn't be seen moving his hand to move it, and yet the wheelchair moved and followed the road accurately.

It was puzzling quite a few people, but everybody was busy with something.

Basic but solid buildings seemed to grow from the ground every few days.

In this mayhem of activity, a single man in a wheelchair by himself was barely noticeable.

He had arrived at the train station.

Unlike most French old train stations dating from the 19th or the early 20th century, it looked brand new.

It was also wide open, with nobody posted to control its access.

It served for civil, commercial, and military trains. It was too busy to allow systematic checking.

One could go to any platform and board any train.

As usual in the countryside, not every train would stop at the station.

Some would just drive through the train station at high speed.

The teenager in the wheelchair soon entered through the main hall of the train station.

Nobody paid much attention except one agent. It was a middle-aged lady posted at the entrance to guide passengers towards the right platform.

"Good morning, young man; which train do you plan to board?" She asked.

"Umm, anywh.... to Paris," Paul replied.

"Oh, the next train is in two hours. It'll be on platform 3. Do you need help to buy a ticket?"

"No worries, I already have." Paul lied without flinching. In his condition, using a phone was impossible. Not that it mattered anyway.

Paul rolled on to the nearest elevator, took it to level -1.

He then rolled to below platform three and took a second elevator to go up to the ground floor level.

He had arrived.

He checked the display panel.

The train to Paris would indeed come in two hours.

Before that, in just ten minutes, a fret train would pass through without stopping.

There was his chance... to wake up.

He rolled closer to the end of the platform.

He stared down at the rails.

There was no chance he would survive if he fell while a train passes.

It would be quick.

And yet, why was he hesitating?

Paul was trembling all over.

He had thought his mind was set.

But he laid there frozen in hesitation.

He looked at platform 2.

Over there, people were waiting for a train soon to arrive.

A kid was arguing with his parents.

The parents look distraught, but the mother did her best to talk in a soothing voice.

It forced Paul to think of his own parents.

They hadn't been very good to him; he had felt alone and unloved while they lived.

But then, his new foster family had been different. Mr. and Mrs. Lapin had tried over and over to encourage him.

Mr. and Mrs. Lapin.

They were busy moving out to Crosses, where the 5th force association was building an autonomous community.

And yet, they never skipped to call him every day.

They loved him.

Paul cried.

He wasn't alone.

He just wanted to run away from life.

He wanted to believe all of it was a nightmare.

It was not.

He would not wake up from this nightmare by dying.

He would die pointlessly, harming himself and many others.

Mr. and Mrs. Lapin would never approve.

They would miss him dearly.

Just like Julien and Eléonore.

Altin and François himself would have disapproved.

François had given his life to save them.

Paul's guilt grew at these thoughts.

He gripped his teeth.

He knew that death was just a way out, that he was cowardly.

"Not today."

Paul sighed.

He distanced himself from the end of the platform, bringing himself to a safe distance again.

He allowed his distress to flow and started to cry profusely.

Paul still didn't know what to do, but he knew that he should not die this way.

Several minutes passed, during which memories of his life and the friendships he had created with other people went through him.

They were good people in this world.

He couldn't abandon them like that.

A strange feeling brought him out of his reverie.

It was a feeling he had long forgotten, and yet, it immediately became clear to him.

An anomaly was about to occur.

Here at the train station.

He could not yet determine the type.

However, he could feel it gathering along the rails, powered up by the electricity power lines like it often happened these days.

At the same time, his headache was growing worst.

BRRRRR.

The train he was waiting for was approaching his platform at great speed.

Paul tensed.

He had just seen the railway being slightly bent by the anomaly.

A vortex of strong gravitational pull was forming along the railways, bending the railways along its radius.

There were only seconds until the train passed by this bent area.

5..

Paul feared that the train would derail.

4...

Too few people had noticed the problem.

3...

That kid and that family were still arguing, disregarding the danger.

2...

The train was seconds away.

1...

"What can I do?"

At the exact moment, the train passed through the deformed railways.

It derailed.

Tons of metal hurled at great speed towards the unprepared people waiting at the platform 2.

Paul knew instinctively what to do.

He had observed that the problem laid in the radial pull of the anomaly.

He could not direct the string force through his limbs anymore, but for some reason, he had the feeling that feeling and controlling the string force was more manageable than before.

He "changed" the direction of the pull of the vortex, helping the train to adjust his trajectory back the railways and not towards platform 2 anymore.

Under Paul's power, the vortex suddenly increased many folds in intensity.

The pull became suddenly much more potent than before, and it was furthermore directed along that sole direction.

Paul succeeded. The train missed platform 2 fully and derailed shortly after moving out of the limits of the train station's platforms.

BRAAAAAMMM.

Its fret split over the ground, and a loud slam resounded all around.

As for the vortex, it exhausted all its accumulated power and disappeared quickly.

A local outage occurred in the whole area.

Shocked by the sudden turn of events, the mother and father on the opposite platform hugged their child.

Their argument seemed irrelevant now they had nearly lost their lives.

Paul stood there, drained of energy in a matter of seconds but smiling.

His headache had disappeared.

He understood that all along, he had gained increased sensitivity towards the string force, perhaps a side-effect of losing his body control.

This sensitivity was what had brought him a continuous and horrible headache.

He had accumulated energy in a region of his brain, ignorant that he should use it.

He still had people to save.

***

"YOU F**KING IDIOT!" Julien shouted at Paul, punching him in the shoulder.

Yet the latter was smiling. "It doesn't hurt there, you know." Paul said.

SLAMM.

"And this, does it hurt?" Eléonore asked, having slapped Paul's now reddened cheek.

Paul said nothing. It really hurt.

"...Sorry." He said finally.

"Sorry," he said again, crying.

Julien and Eléonore halted their fury. They waited in silence while Paul stopped crying.

Finally, Julien said: "Paul. No matter what happens in the future, there will always be something you can do in the future—heard of Stephens Hawking? He spent his life in a wheelchair doing physics. And yet, he was one of the most famous physicists. In any case, you're our friend. You can't just leave us like that. "

Paul nodded. He had nothing to say. He knew he had been wrong.

Eléonore added. "We've got good news. You've been reintegrated into our squad again. Brener changed his mind. Be sure to kick his balls, by the way, when you see him."

Paul jumped in joy.

Except he didn't, but still, he rejoiced. "Really? I'm back in the team now again?"

"You are." Eléonore and Julien both replied.

"There's something you should know. Some people are waiting in the room next door. Come." Julien said.

Paul then followed Julien and Eléonore, who opened the door for him.

He rolled to the room next door.

There were many people there: he recognized his foster family Mr. and Mrs. Lapin, the staffof the hospital, Brener, and even the family he had saved.

However, he didn't have the time to process this before the people in the room all exclaimed:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"That's right," Paul realized, "it's my birthday..."

He smiled brightly for the time in many months, and his eyes now shone with hope and confidence for the future. He may have lost his limbs for life, but he hadn't lost everything. He still lived.

"Life is worth fighting for," Paul told himself.

***

"So this is what happened to me... and what happened here". Paul finished retelling to Altin.

Everyone in the tent had silently and wholly listened to Paul as he retold wholeheartedly the crisis he had been through.

A moment of silence passed.

Presently, Altin said: "I've something to tell you too. About what I've done in the last 'six months'".

This piqued everyone's interest.