Everything is Stupid

The heavy wind sways with the kites in the sky. The plains are ran through by kids with their huge smiles. It's the complete opposite of before. This place, green grass, and an acacia tree, there's no denying it.

It's the past.

"You're so horrible, Charles!" She said, losing her humanity in front of me.

"Huh?" I'm still blank, looking at the surroundings, losing control. I've already been through some parts of hell. How can I argue that something's off? From frustration, she pouted to me with her knitted eyebrows. My consciousness turns back as she grabs my shirt, shaking me and said, "Hey! Don't ignore me! Apologize!" She backs off and the the time turns back to me. It feels like it already happened before. I apologized. In the middle of the lively village, as we go to walk to our home together, I asked her some things about what's happening to me.

"Cherry?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you believe in time travel?"

"I do! Do you!?"

"Eh?" My right cheek smirks, compressing my muscles to the right of my face.

"But it still not applicable for today. I believe in what Einstein says."

"Okay, can I another question?"

"Aren't you interested?" She asks.

"I—Maybe later," I said, "something's really bugging me."

"What is it?"

"Do you think that if you die, you will go back as a kid?"

She stops walking, slowly chuckles, and bursted out her laughter. I miss these moments with my childhood friend, playing games and just being free. It changed after she told me what I am to her. It made me put a smile on my face.

"HAHAHAHAHA! That's too much fantasy, Charles! Do you think you won't die? How stupid," she said sarcastically.

"Well, haha, it's not that serious to me."

"So you planned to die and go back to childhood? Hahaha... wait— did you really..." she stuttered, but I won't let her realize.

"Of course, not! That's stupid! Hahaha." Everything is stupid.

"So that's what bugs you?"

"Actually, not yet. May I ask you a more serious question?" I said. I didn't expect her to turn red and blush. She replied with a soft tone while looking at me with intent, "What is it, Charles?"

"Actually, uhh, what's the date today?"

She press her lips tight, brows knitted, and shows her disappointment with pouting. I didn't think that she already had this feelings with me since this time? How insensitive of me.

"It's the 16th of November. Are you really that high to forgot the date?" She said while looking away at me. After a moment of silence, discomfort slightly shivers her. It was then after she looked at me with a stare towards the never-ending pit of her eyes. She felt empathic together with mixing confusion, but I didn't thought this is the day I wasted the opportunity to save someone.

"What year?"

"What's happening to you? It's 2006."

It's a blackout for me. I can't connect all the dots. The longer it gets, the more it gets weirder. This is two days before it. I know what happens next. We'll encounter Benjie's group, and I will be beaten up by protecting Cherry after they touched her. Not long enough till I saw them at the end of our view.

"Hey there douch! You're blocking the way," he arrogantly said. It was I who made them their way not because I'm scared. At first it was, I'm too weak for them, but now, I just don't want to interfere with the past. Cherry stays in their way. I tried pulling her but she resists.

"Would you just agree with him like a scaredy cat?!" She said like she can match up with them too. You won't understand. As quick as no one would notice, she was pushed away. As I see her flew to the ground, my fists clenched as I nearly broke my jaws. My rage hindered my thinking. All I do is reflect on what she said, launch at them, and get beaten. Numerous feet stomped my face and body, but it's not enough on what I feel inside, the feeling of loosing.

I'm deadly hurt, but it isn't the pain that made me cry. It all vanished after a person scared them away. It was blurred, but I see light at her face. It is when after all the pain you've gone through, you got that 'thing' you're really longing for. Like an old kid who's beaten up in a fight, like hell I really am, tears mixes the ache in my chest. It was only a moment I said, before I lost my consciousness, that after the night of numerous broken bones, there will be the time I said that I really really missed her.

"Mom..."

Later at night, I opened my eyes and wrapped it in coats of Nostalgia. I woke up in my fully lit room, lying in bags of bandages. There's no one around me, not until I heard steps towards my door. It was mom who entered, holding a soup. She sat at my bed, holds the spoon and helps me eat the soup. In the past, the soup tastes blankly that I never even recall what it smells, but now, the first serve loved me. It's like a prize of succeeding death itself. It just felt too real for me, even after I die. Tears fell my face. I can't help it, I miss her so much. She puts the soup in the small desk and hugs me. It's real. As I hugged her back and not letting her go again, I feel her heart beating synchronously as mine. It is the same love I felt each day in my life, and I just ignored it with my insensitivity. After all the holding backs I've endured, I can now release it all.

I screamed from the bottom of my heart as I cry in regret, "I'M SORRY!! MOM, I'M SO SORRY!! I'M SORRY!!" I'm sorry I don't deserve someone so kind. I'm sorry I'm not the loving son you ever had. I'm sorry I wasted it all. The room went blue after the balloon of my regret pops. I know apologizing it all won't make difference, but my mom made it different for me.

"Charles, you know, apologizing won't make difference to the world. It just makes you caged in your guilt. Everything has its own reasons, and there's things that are inevitable. Just be thankful of what you have now. Embrace it, and you won't feel regret again in your life like what you have now," she said so calmly that I continue to cry throughout the night. I never noticed sleeping of tiredness myself.

The next day, my scars were almost okay. My mom said that she'll file complaint about the kids bullying, but I know that it won't succeed because of lack of evidence. I can't help about it yet. Technology on this day is still developing, and my mom's cellphone still has buttons on it. Still, these things getting real is abnormal. How can I travel back in time when no one can do it? If this is a power, how can I control it? I must still pretend as a kid so confusions are erased. But when I think of it, it feels like I've been missing my childhood too much. I might, as well, enjoy this time given to me. I don't know when it'll last long.

But God may forgive me to change this one past slightly. I'm not acquainted to her, nor even I know her, but she's a victim of prolonged suffering. She was beaten to death and discovered tomorrow. That means the only time to save her is now.

As I go down, I saw my, literally, little sister, Rebecca sitting on the dining room. Unlike me, her hair was brown, same as dad's, and might as well like him, brave. She always practices her flute while she was young. Even before eating like now, she always hold it. I don't know what happened about her talent later on. Maybe it's because of dad. That's a gift from him, and I got my charm, an armband made of traditional strings. He said that he likes seeing that thing save me, thou I lost it already.

In the middle of the joyful breakfast, Cherry arrived to fetch me. Mom let her in and made her wait in my room. I quickly finished eating to get upstairs. She knows that my mom won't let me out because of what happened to me, that's why she came here. Luckily, she's a talented deceiver, I can ask her a favor.

"Can you help me find my way out here?"

"You crazy!?" She overreacted and I covered it with a shush. "Look at you, you're more of a mummy," she said.

"Please, there's something I must check, and it's important."

"What is it?"

"I really think I heard something, or rather someone, from Mr. Burner's house."

"Wai—what? Did something hit your head?" Her curiosity rose after seeing weird thoughts from me.

"I know, I know, but I just ignored it. It feels like... like someone needs help. The moment I got left behind after you guys ran away, I heard screams."

"Unlucky for you, you just broke his window last Monday. I'm sure he'll never forgive you about that."

"That's more of a reason why we should check it!" Whew! Being a simple-minded kid is sure tough. She then agreed but only with an offer.

"I'll say it after what you'll do," she said. The stairs are located in the living room, and under it is the entrance to the dining room. There's also the sink and bathroom in it. Cherry planned to distract mom as I leave the house. As mom washes the dishes, Cherry will try to help her. As for me, I need to neutralize the loud creak sound of the door. There's no one that'll see me as Rebecca practices her flute on her room. I walked slowly, quietly, and tried to forced the door up to avoid being loud. I now ran through our meeting place and wait for Rebecca to come through.

Later, I'm here in front of Mr. Burner's house, hiding in the bush. His house has three floors, and with him the only living, it's more like of a mysterious mini mansion with gothic feel. It's quite huge and isolated, away from the populated village. Surrounding it are just trees and the plains we've been passing through last Monday. I barely remember what happened on that Monday, but I still know what the scream hears like. It haunted me for days holding it in my mind, and waiting for it to let go but it can't. The doors of the house made things easy, "Why is it open?"

Nevermind, I'll enter myself. Cherry didn't made it here, and I don't know why. But it may be better if I won't involve her in this. I entered the wide-open double doors and checked for the strangest thing as I enter. Even if the air cools my blood and makes my teeth shiver, I circled the first floor with fleet foot. I'm convinced that the scream isn't in the higher floors because that feels like the voice is buried, like it's underneath us. In the first floor hallway, strange things appeared like sex snake statues and more abstract painting than Picasso's. Not until I get to the library, the strangest thing that caught my attention is the huge painting of a man running through endless stairs in the dark. There has to be some connection to this.

The library is a huge room like four classrooms combined. It also claimed the second floor above it. Here in rows are tall shelves full of metaphysical books and researches. In the center, along the face of the door, is the huge painting of maybe me. As I examined the painting, traces of past pain stroke my wound. It feels like tomorrow, yet the wound's gone, but still it hurts. Suddenly, in the most unexpected time of all, my heart raced after hearing someone opening the door. Quickly as possible, I ran and hide back the shelves and observed the person who entered.

It was Mr. Burner holding a whip. One can imagine him like an old furious man lacking white hair in the top of his head. He can still walk up straight and do harder tasks comparing to an old man who can't. Examining him, he goes straight to the painting and see him solved the puzzle riddling my brain. It's no painting. It's a door leading somewhere secure and less spacious. His whip seems to be used for torturing. It seems like my conclusion is right. There's someone down there needing help. I don't remember her name but I did see her on news, and it started haunting me like crazy.

Crazy as it can be, the hidden door is left open. All I can do is wait until he goes out that room. I know that he is the only resident in this mansion, but not until... Suddenly, I felt strange as I hold my breath. My eyes bulged out and my body shivers in fear. As my head shakes, I slowly looked into my right shoulder, and the most unexpected of it all made me breathless: a grab of a hand.