CH. 5

"Big brother, let's do something!"

"Come play with me Big Brother!"

"I'm borreeddd Big Brother!"

My new sister had stuck herself to me like glue since I'd recovered from the sickness. As far as younger siblings go, she sure was a cutie, but I still felt like the relationship between us was off somehow.

I mean, it was annoying by the way she hung around. I was used to being anti-social, separated from not only society but also from my family. It was peaceful.

Now suddenly, no matter where I went, she was there. My peaceful world now not so tranquil. Wake up in the morning, sure enough, she'd be in my room watching me as I slept. Walk outside and bang, she was my shadow.

Sometimes in silence carrying that stuffed toy of hers, sometimes yammering about nonsensical things I couldn't quite understand.

But even as disconnected as I felt about the relationship her, that also extended to the other members of my new family. They too had their moments where they smothered me with their presence.

But not to the extent that my little sister did. Today, was no exception.

"I wanna do something fun Big Brotherrrr."

Tugging at my sleeve as usual. So I plastered a smile on my face that felt more awkward than anything else.

"Sure! How about we go for a walk into town?"

"Snacks?"

"Why not? Let's go!"

Months had passed since I had reincarnated into this body. The sickness which had taken its toll on me, leaving me bedridden and unable to move, seemed like a distant dream.

Likewise did some memories of my past life return, broken and distorted, now intermingled with my current self.

I remembered the sickness, which had wracked my body for so long, and the realization was beginning to dawn on me that the previous life whose body I now led had perished.

The same sickness had cut a swathe through the kingdom, almost like a famine, only affecting children. An innumerable amount had perished from it.

Slowly I had regained my strength and was now able to wander around without collapsing from exhaustion. Which required me to be carried back to bed for rest. Being carried like a child again held in the arms of these new parents of mine, even though I was a child, was a strange experience.

"Where are you headed with Lily, Seth?"

The man, Keiran, who was my new father called out to me. Even though my memories confirmed he was my father, I struggled to accept it. Where I had a decades long relationship with my previous parents and siblings, as cold as it had been, I just wasn't ready to accept these new ones as my own.

It felt as if I was wearing the mask of their son, but below was an imposter.

"Uh, just to town… I thought a walk would be good for me…"

"Hmm… you are still weak and recovering from the sickness… I do not think it would be a good idea for you to leave the house just yet."

"It won't be for long… I just need to stretch my legs…"

Ever since I had recovered, my family had been overly protective of me. Not that I could blame them. I could only imagine that it must have been a traumatic experience, believing your child had died and then risen from perpetual death.

Not that I could exactly empathize. I certainly had never possessed children of my own and it had been over a decade since my parents from my previous life had looked at me with anything other than contempt. Or disgust. Or loathing.

Sometimes I thought I even saw a flicker of hate, but maybe that was my imagination.

"Let him go dear. Some fresh air and a walk into town will do him wonders."

"What if he collapses though? He might be fine now but who knows for how long."

"It'll be fine. I'm sure if that were to happen someone would take care of him. At the very least they would come get us. Everyone knows who he and Lily are."

My mother, the calm voice of reason, was doing her best to convince Keiran.

"What about if he gets sick again? Or gods forbid it, Lily does?"

"We'll be fine. If I start feeling lightheaded or tired, I'll come back straight away."

"Hmm… you promise?"

"Promise."

My father intensely looked at me for a moment, like the decision he was grappling with was a large one. Finally, he relented with a sigh and nodded.

That's a relief. I was worried there for a moment that you were going to keep me confined. Not that I'm impartial to that, I can lead the shut-in life like a champion.

But new world new me! Or something along those lines…

"Be safe you two! Make sure to take care of your sister Seth!"

My mother's voice rang out as we made our way down the path.

Having come to this new world, who wouldn't want to do some exploring? Memories can only serve so much of a purpose after all. There's nothing quite like experiencing the tangible aesthetics of various things firsthand.

Besides, the things that tormented me in my previous life weren't in existence here. The tethers of the nightmare that plagued my previous life couldn't reach me here.

Was what I wanted to tell myself anyway.

"…"

A cold hand grasped my chest as I stood at the gate, almost like an invisible force field was preventing me from moving any further forward.

"There's nothing there… I don't need to feel this way…"

"Big brother?"

"Ah, ah."

Seriously, a panic attack?

Sure there were times I couldn't leave my old house, but this isn't that place! And even then, on rare occasions, I could leave if I was desperate enough for something!

"I just ah, need a reason ha, like last time ah."

My breathing grew more and more ragged as I stood there. I think that the accumulation of the fears in my previous life, alongside the stresses of this new one, had built up to the point that I was reverting to being a shut-in.

No, no, no! I can't be like that. I refuse to be like that again.

But no matter how much I willed myself to move, I just couldn't.

"H-hey! What're you doing?"

"What's wrong big brother…?"

Lily tugged on my clothing. Her other hand held froggy as always.

"Why do you look so scared?"

"Well uh…"

It's not like I could tell a little kid that I was from another world where I lived my life as a shut-in. That the outside world, even during one of my rare expeditions out into it were truly terrifying for me.

"When I thought you were gone big brother… I was so scared…"

Her eyes brimmed with waterworks that threatened to spill forth, making me feel even more awkward than before.

"I wouldn't be able to play with you anymore… That mama and papa would be sad… That we wouldn't be able to go anywhere anymore…"

Now she really did start to cry, sniffling and wiping her face with the sleeve on the back of her hand.

"But…"

The tears stopped rolling down her face, replaced with an earnest expression.

"But?"

"But you didn't die big brother! So it's ok to be scared… but I'll help no matter what. You can count on me!" My sister's little fingers grabbed a tight hold of my hand.

"…"

What is this feeling? This sudden warmth spreading through my chest, purging the coldness that had been grasping it only moments before?

Is this… relief?

When was the last time someone had stood beside me like this? Not that I could recall. Not only that, but it was this little kid that was making me feel this way.

Regardless, I felt myself calming down and was able to start thinking normally again.

Maybe…

"Uh, I'm sorry Lilly… thank you… really… I'm feeling much better now don't worry."

Though I still hadn't accepted her as my sibling, just having her with me for the first time felt comforting. Those dark emotions that were the stuff of my nightmares washed themselves away.

Hell, if a four-year-old child is brave enough to want to leave home for the day, then the least I can do is the same.

"Alright… haa… are you ready? Let's head on down."

"Yes!"

How long has it been since anyone smiled at me so radiantly?

Squeezing her hand firmly back, we walked through the gates. The shakiness of my legs disappeared little by little with each meter I distanced myself from the house.

Walking through the township gave me an appreciation for the simpleness by which the people lived.

Street stalls with vendors selling their various wares, the sound of a blacksmith hammering away at an anvil and the raised voices of drunks in a nearby tavern filled the air. Typical of a run of the mill town similar to medieval Europe.

Even though the population density was leagues apart compared to my old world, it was still an uncomfortable atmosphere walking amongst the townspeople. But the more time I spent amongst them, the less out of place and on edge I felt.

"You're looking better big brother."

Froggy held in one hand, my hand held in the other, my little sister was looking up at me with those big brown eyes of hers.

"I'm feeling much better Lily. I just forgot how nice it is to be outside. What do you like to do when you're playing outside?"

"Hrm… Sometimes, I'll go to the pond near the stables and catch the froggies."

"You like the frogs huh?"

"Mhmm!"

Ah I see now. That stuffed frog of yours isn't just because it's a stuffed toy.

"But I don't keep them, they're slimey. Yuckies."

She screwed her face up and shook her froggy. Not that I can argue with that logic, they are definitely gross. Although kudos to you for going out and catching them in the first place.

"But what about froggy then?"

"What about froggy?"

"Well, isn't he gross since he's a frog?"

"Baka! Froggy is soft and cuddly!"

Okay wow geez no need to get upset and wave your damned toy in my face like that, I get it ok!

Rumble.

"Uhhhh."

"You're hungry hey? Let's get you the snack I promised then."

"Mhmm!"

We approached a vendor's stall selling various skewered meats. I thought I was going to struggle counting out the coin for the item, but thankfully the memories I could recall helped me.

The currency of the kingdom was called the Harteva Currency. Ten coppers coins were the equivalent of one silver. A hundred silvers were equal to one gold, and a thousand gold coins were worth one platinum coin.

The value of platinum coins varied in each country, however, were considered a world coin and therefore able to be used freely in any country and highly valued.

"Let's sit over there big brother."

"Sure."

After making our purchase, we sat by a nearby well and munched on our food in silence.

As simple as the world seemed, I was actually happy. I think the word to describe exactly how I felt was content. Suffocated by the outside world, even imprisoned within my room in my previous life, I felt free.

I had never felt this comfortable outside.

I wouldn't complain if this was how the rest of my life was going to pan out. I'd actually welcome it. For the first time in a long time, it felt like a heavy weight across my shoulders was slowly being lifted.