Naruto Shippuden - part 15

"So it seems that everything turned out all right, though it's a shame that this Tobi character managed to make off with Deidara. Having an Akatsuki prisoner to interrogate would have been very convenient." Tsunade said when their mission report was finished. "Dismissed."

"I still need to talk to you about something Tsunade." Naruto said, making everyone look at him in curiousity.

"Can this wait until tomorrow? I was just about to head home and get some rest." Tsunade asked back. It was pretty late and it had been a long day.

"I'm positively throbbing with anticipation and it won't take long...unless you want it to of course." Naruto said with a suggestive leer. What he wanted had nothing at all to do with sex, but it was funny to wind these prudes up.

"Naruto, you can't talk to Hokage-sama like that!" Neji protested. He could hardly believe that Naruto managed to get away with talking to the Godaime in such a familiar manner, but making such a blatant insinuation was just too much to keep quiet about.

"You're still such a prude Neji, you really need to get laid." Naruto said dismissive hand wave, bringing the Hyuuga up short, since he had no idea what to say to that. "Besides, Tits and I are really close."

A paperweight smashed into his face, snapping his head back even as it shattered into pieces.

"What have I told you about calling me that you pervert?!" Tsunade raged at him with a scowl.

"I love it when you play rough with me Tsunade." Her fellow blond said with an excited growl and a wide, bloodstained grin, sniggering at her irritation.

Tsunade's eye twitched irritably. She and Naruto were friends, but damn could he piss her off sometimes, not to mention that he'd somehow become even more insane and perverted while he'd been gone. Clearly, whatever had kept him in a perpetually foul mood during the training trip was no longer an issue if he was acting like this. At least Jiraiya would be happy that his godson was back to his own version of normality.

Tsunade herself was also glad that he wasn't as foul tempered and irritable as Jiraiya had described him being anymore, but his attitude could definitely get a bit much sometimes. She couldn't even get him to stop by threatening violence or throwing objects at him...as demonstrated by his reaction to the paperweight.

Still, it was more interesting and fun than being called Hokage-sama all the time. Not that she was ever going to tell anyone that, especially not the blond in question.

"Whatever you want, you better talk fast before I decide to toss you out of the window. The rest of you get out." Tsunade commanded, causing everyone except Naruto to file out of the room, many of them in disbelief that he got away with talking to the Hokage like that.

Tsunade got up from behind her desk and started getting ready to go home even as she spoke."Well? What did you want?"

"I've got a little proposition for you." The other blond said and walked up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and started massaging them.

Tsunade groaned as the tension in her shoulders was relieved. Having such huge breasts made her shoulders ache at times even if she didn't show it. It wasn't the first time that Naruto had given her a massage and she'd stopped instinctively trying to punch him for it by now.

Naruto directed her to sit down on the couch even as he kept up the massage.

"What kind of proposition?" She asked once she was sitting down. Tsunade was pretty sure that he wasn't trying to get into her panties and was just speaking so suggestively because he got a kick out of it.

"I've got a little Fuinjutsu project going on that I need a volunteer for and I think that you'd be perfect for the job."

"Couldn't you just ask Kurenai or Kakashi or anyone else really? Why specifically me?" Tsunade asked in a mellow tone. These occasional massages were one of the things that she'd missed the most during the three years that he'd been gone.

"Because this is something that I'm sure we'll both benefit from. The whole village might benefit from it actually. And I want you because you're the only one who knows the right techniques for this...well I suppose Sakura knows them too, but yours are more refined." Naruto answered and pulled the much older woman to lean on his chest, taking a good look down her cleavage as he did so. A man had to take advantage of the opportunities that presented themselves after all.

"Lets hear it then." The Sannin said lightly with her eyes closed, masking the fact that her interest was peaked.

"I think that I could make a seal that would mimic the effects of the Mystical Palm technique, but I would need to analyse your chakra flow when you use it."

Tsunade's eyes flew open, already imagining how many lives could be saved if every team could carry a stack of seal notes that had a pre-prepared medical technique inscribed onto it. She would have stood up to look at Naruto, but he gripped her shoulders and pulled her back against his chest and leaned forward to whisper into her ear.

"But I want something in return." His deep voice rumbled into her ear full of amusement, clearly aware of how interested she was.

"What do you want?" She asked neutrally. Kami as her witness, if he wanted something sex related then she was going to pulverize him.

"Your strength technique." Came the surprising answer.

"You don't have the control to use it and it doesn't look like you ever will." Tsunade told him, honestly surprised that he would ask for something like that when he clearly knew that he had a chakra control problem.

"You didn't really think that the Mystical Palm was the only technique I'm capable of remaking with Fuinjutsu did you?" She scowled at the clear amusement in his voice.

"I don't know...I only taught Sakura my strength technique because she's my apprentice. I don't want every shinobi in the village to have it." Tsunade said back uncertainly. The idea of having one of her most prized techniques spread around like candy was not something that she was too pleased about.

"No need to worry about that, if I'm right, then my Fuinjutsu version of it will be very chakra intensive, so it wouldn't be practical for anyone but me anyway. If you're still concerned over me having it since I'm not your apprentice, then just think of all the people that could be saved if they had access to healing even without a medic on the team."

Tsunade was sure that if she looked, Naruto would have a forked tongue. The way that he was bribing her right now made her feel as if she was making a deal with the devil.

Something like this would be almost as good as having a medic on every team. In some ways it would be even better, since anyone could use a seal tag, just add chakra and you get healing.

"Why do you want to learn it so badly anyway?"

"Sakura said that I couldn't do it with Fuinjutsu, so I'm going to do it just to prove her wrong. Aside from that, it's a totally badass technique."

In spite of herself, Tsunade felt her ego inflate slightly at having one of her techniques be considered 'badass'.

"I'll even get Gamabunta to part with some of his special sake for you."

There was only so much temptation that you could throw at a woman before she cracked. Getting massaged, the possibility of everyone being able to use a powerful medical technique and now the offer of Gamabunta's special sake, which she knew was some of the best in the world?

What harm could Naruto do with her super strength anyway?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I cannot believe that I am doing this." Tsunade said seethingly.

"Think of all the lives you're saving Tsunade." Came Naruto's amused voice.

"That's the only reason you're still alive you bastard." Was the scathing answer.

Naruto wisely stayed silent, knowing how pissed off the woman was right now.

The reason for this was because the two of them were currently in a training field, working on Naruto's Fuinjutsu version of Tsunade's super strength and Mystical Palm. Naruto had neglected to mention that Tsunade would have to be naked for this to work, since he needed direct skin contact to record the chakra flow precisely.

The female Sannin was currently standing in a private training field, naked and covered in seal paper. They had been at it for a while now and Naruto had needed to adjust some of his seals already, but now it was finally working.

Tsunade would use the Mystical Palm and the details of her chakra flow would be recorded into the seals plastered over her body, then Naruto would remove the tags and place new ones in other positions to make sure that nothing had been missed. Her hands hands had twitched with the instinctive desire to punch his lights out when he had placed the seals over her breasts and posterior, but she had managed to restrain herself.

The fact that he was openly staring at her the whole time didn't help matters.

"Alright, we're done with the Mystical Palm." Naruto said, making Tsunade sigh in relief. "I guess you didn't need to take your pants off after all, since the chakra flow there didn't change at all."

Tsunade started grinding her teeth together in irritation at the smug bastard that hadn't seen fit to tell her that before it was all over.

"Don't bother pulling them back on though, we still need to do the strength technique and I'm definitely going to need to do your legs for that one."

Tsunade started leaking enough killing intent to frighten off all the animals near the training field.

"Oh come on Tsunade, think of it this way. You've got a man that's over thirty years younger than you staring at you, you should be flattered really." Naruto reasoned.

Tsunade's eye began to twitch dangerously, so Naruto amended his statement. "How about some more massaging and sake after we're done with this?"

She calmed down a bit at hearing that. Getting dead drunk and massaged was exactly what she needed after somehow being roped into giving Naruto a peep show.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Neji and Hinata were training together, working on improving their respective Juuken.

Neji had been rather surprised when Hinata had decided that she didn't like the traditional Juuken style, deeming it too rigid and inflexible. He'd been doubtful about her idea to create a more flexible version for her own use, but his cousin had turned out to be right.

The seals that Naruto had painted onto her body, had over time increased her speed quite impressively. Combined with her flexible, reactive style, Hinata had become a very good fighter, enough to give him trouble and even win sometimes. The style itself wasn't too well suited to offensive strikes, but it worked wonders for counter attacking. Additionally, she had learned a few things about healing from Shizune, not enough to qualify as a medic, but enough that she could use the Mystical Palm and heal moderate injuries.

Predictably, the Hyuuga elders had been appalled by this deviation from tradition, though Hiashi had oddly enough spoken in support of it.

Hiashi's actions were contradictory at times, sometimes he praised Hanabi and belittled Hinata and sometimes he did the opposite. There had been talk of an arranged marriage for Hinata, but at the same time the clan head wouldn't make any mention of any definite time for it, nor would he give any names, making the whole thing little more than rumor, much to Hinata's relief. Similarly, there had been talk about branding either Hinata or Hanabi, but in the end kept getting delayed because of one thing or another.

They were just taking a break from their training when Naruto showed up.

"You wanted to see me about something little sister?" He asked, quite curious about why Hinata had asked him to meet her here.

Hinata smiled, happy that he still called her that despite the fact that they hadn't seen each other for three years.

She didn't really count that embarrassing encounter in his apartment as a proper meeting.

"Yes, I have something for you." Hinata said and then looked at Neji, who nodded at her in reassurence. "Neji nii-san and I have managed to get the notes for the Caged Bird Seal."

Naruto's eyebrows rose in interest as he took the notebook that Hinata handed him and began leafing through it. The notes were quite extensive, much more than one would think from seeing the relatively small seal on a branch members forehead.

"This is exactly what I needed." Naruto confirmed after a minute. "Whoever made this seal must have been a skilled seal master. It's going to take me a while to decipher this and find a way to remove it without killing the carrier, there's a lot of traps built into it."

"It's that bad? I thought you would be able to remove it easily after having the notes?" Neji questioned. The Fuinjutsu formulas made no sense to him or Hinata and they didn't dare show it to anyone else.

"Cursed seals are always nasty pieces of work and this one is particularly well made. I can already see that it's designed to latch onto your life force as soon as it's applied, that's why it's so hard to remove it without killing the one who carries it." Naruto answered, still looking through the notebook.

Hinata and Neji nodded in understanding. It worried them, but Neji had already seen Naruto's skill with Fuinjutsu first hand and the blond appeared confident in his ability to deal with it.

"These aren't the original notes though, I can clearly see that you wrote these yourselves." Naruto said, clearly wanting to know what the deal was.

"Well...the original seal notes are too well guarded, so we couldn't just take them. It took us two years to copy it because we had to be so careful." Hinata replied uncertainly.

"There's something else isn't there?" Naruto asked, catching the strange tone in Hinata's voice.

"We think that Hiashi-sama knows that we've been doing this." Neji confirmed, his tone a bit grim.

"What makes you say that?"

"At first it was almost impossible to get anywhere close to the notes, since they were guarded in the clan vault, but we managed to get there once during a festival because the guard was lighter than usual." Neji revealed.

"What changed?" The blond asked curiously.

"I saw father carrying part of the notes out of the vault and into his office one day, several weeks after that. I used my Byakugan to look through the walls so that I could see where he hid them. I saw that he was still holding them in his hands by the time I got to my room and he had his Byakugan active too. I know that he saw me looking at him, but he just placed the notes into a secret compartment in his desk and then turned his Byakugan off as if he hadn't seen anything." Hinata explained.

"We managed to copy that part of the notes fairly easily, since Hiashi-sama's office is a lot easier to get into than the vault, but after that we couldn't make any further progress. Months later, Hiashi-sama passed me in the hallway and I heard paper crinkling inside one of his sleeves. I made my way to my room and activated my Byakugan, seeing that he was sitting at his desk doing paperwork, but he had his own Byakugan active as well. Almost as soon as I activated mine, he picked up one of the papers and put them into that same secret compartment. When we went to check, we saw that it was the next part of the notes." Neji continued.

"And I'm guessing that this pattern continued until you had the whole thing copied?" Naruto asked, feeling quite sure that he was right in his assumption.

"Yes."

"Sounds to me like he's been helping you guys out in a strangely roundabout way." The blond commented.

"It seems that way to us as well, but we haven't confronted him about it so we can't be sure. We wouldn't have been able to do this if it wasn't for him though, the vault is guarded too well most of the time." Neji said in agreement, Hinata nodding along.

They both remembered what Hiashi said to them sometimes , usually just after he placed the next part of the notes into his desk.

You must always act in the best interest of the Hyuuga.

The sentence itself was nothing they hadn't heard before and it was also spoken in the same formal and neutral tone that the clan head used most of the time. It was only the timing of when he said it that made it sound as if he was making a request rather than telling them how to act.

Either way, now that Naruto had the notes, the hardest part about their self imposed mission to get rid of the Caged Bird Seal was done with. Once the blond figured out a way to remove it, they would just need to find a way to prevent a bloodbath between the main and branch houses. Even if Hiashi was for some reason on their side, they had no illusion about how the rest of the main house and the elders in particular would react once they learned that someone knew how to remove the seal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, did you guys hear about the babe Naruto is supposedly living with?" Kiba asked.

"That troublesome redhead? I've met her three years ago and now Ino tells me that she lives with Naruto. They deserve each other if you ask me, they're both just too troublesome." Shikamaru grumbled, slouched in his seat.

Chouji made munching noises, much too busy with his barbecue to bother talking.

The three of them were sitting in Team 10's favorite barbecue restaurant, just hanging out since they all had time off. Shikamaru had been cloud watching with Chouji when the Akimichi heir had suddenly developed cravings for barbecue. They'd run into a bored Kiba on the way and invited him to come along. Apparently Akamaru had needed a medical check up, which left Kiba to wander about the village, bored out of his skull.

Kiba had invited Shino to come as well, but the Aburame refused, saying that he had something to do, which basically meant that he was going to go gathering bugs. They would have invited Neji to come along, but he wasn't much for hanging out and getting Lee to take time off from training was impossible unless it was a special occasion.

"I wonder how living with a woman is working for him though, considering how much of a womanizer Naruto is." Kiba asked, not really expecting an answer.

"According to Ino, this Xanna that Naruto's living with is just as much of a pervert as he is." Shikamaru drawled.

"Xanna huh? Strange name." Kiba said to himself. "But man, why does Naruto get all the good women? I still can't believe that he somehow got Kurenai-sensei to sleep with him."

"If I heard Asuma's grumbling right then Kurenai-sensei and Anko got together after sleeping with him." Shikamaru said lazily. Normally he wouldn't go around revealing other people's private lives, but with Anko involved it wasn't much of a secret to begin with. In direct opposition to normal, the woman was quite proud of her active sex life and happy to rub people's face in it.

"HAH! He must not be all that if Kurenai-sensei became a lesbian after sleeping with him." Kiba crowed in perceived triumph, though his mind was filled with images of his old Jounin sensei and the sexy Anko in the sack together.

"Keep telling yourself that Kiba, it's not going to change the fact you're still a virgin and that Naruto was having more sex than half the village put together at your age." Shikamaru said back with a smirk, causing Chouji to choke on a piece of meat, interrupting his laughing fit at Kiba's expense.

"Where do you get off saying that you bastard? You're as much a virgin as me!" Kiba retorted with an angry blush on his face.

"Yeah, but I know that I'm one of the uncool guys that doesn't get a lot of female attention. I'm not even going to try competing with someone as troublesome as Naruto." Was the unperturbed answer.

"Well I'm not an uncool guy!" Kiba insisted.

"Yeah, that's why you're sitting at a table with two uncool guys, talking about how much action another guy is getting." Shikamaru replied in a bored tone. Kiba was just so easy to rile up that it wouldn't even be fun if he didn't overreact so much.

Kiba fumed before looking at Chouji for support. "You don't agree with him do you Chouji? Shikamaru might be uncool, but we're both pretty badass aren't we?"

"I don't know Kiba, I never thought of myself as much of a cool guy." Chouji said apologetically.

The Inuzuka huffed and sat back down, moodily flinging a piece of meat into his mouth. He was not an uncool guy damnit!

"Hey isn't that Naruto?" Chouji asked suddenly, looking out the window, causing the other two males to do the same.

It was a pretty silly question actually. Of course it was Naruto. You couldn't really mistake a 6'7'', long haired blond that made a habit of walking around bare chested under a black coat for anyone else. Of greater interest however was the distinctively dusky skinned redhead walking by his side.

"I'll call them over." Kiba said, eyes firmly fixed on the woman at Naruto's side. He'd been told that she was beautiful, but damn. Even if she was with Naruto, he wanted to at least get a closer look at her.

"Kiba don't..." Shikamaru tried to say, but the Inuzuka was already out the door. "...troublesome." The two of them were clearly on a date or something like it and Kiba was butting his nose where it was liable to get cut off.

Watching the conversation through the window told him that both Naruto and the woman who was presumably Xanna seemed to find Kiba's suggestion amusing. In short order all three of them were back inside the barbecue restaurant, Kiba retaking his previous seat and the two newcomers sitting down beside Shikamaru. With the way that they'd sat down, Xanna was sitting next to Shikamaru and facing Chouji, while Naruto sat next to her and faced Kiba.

The blond had some serious issues sitting down in a booth because of his coat, which was getting in the way due to it's length. Eventually he just gave it up as a bad job and took it off, placing it on the seat next to him, leaving him topless.

The other three males rolled their eyes when they saw how much attention Naruto was generating just by walking into the restaurant. Ever since his status as a Jinchuuriki had been revealed, it wasn't forbidden to talk about it any longer since everyone knew , which made it easily apparent that Naruto was not well liked by most of the civilians and some of the shinobi. People who knew him thought it was all incredibly stupid. Sure, the blond was crazy and could really push people's buttons when he wanted to, but he was a pretty good guy once you got used to him.

"I suppose I should do the introductions." Naruto said once he got comfortable. "Guys, this is Xanna, my incredibly sexy lover. Xanna, these are Shikamaru, an overly intelligent slacker without any real ambition in life." He finished with a gesture towards the slacker in question, who gave a lackadaisical wave.

Shikamaru had sort of met her already, but aside from getting told to do something in an incredibly threatening way, they hadn't spoken at all.

"Kiba, a mutt who tries way too hard to impress the ladies." The blond continued, gesturing towards Kiba this time.

"Oi! I'm not a mutt you bastard!" Kiba protested loudly.

"You smell like one," Naruto said dismissively. "and I'll have you know that my parents were married when they had me, to each other even."

While Kiba tried to come up with something clever to say back, Naruto continued the introduction. "And this is Chouji, he gets mad if you call him fat."

Chouji looked a bit annoyed at his own introduction, but didn't react too much. Naruto hadn't actually called him fat after all, he'd just said that Chouji got mad if he was called fat, which was true.

"Strange people you associate with Naruto." Xanna said with some amusement at the introduction, leaning against the backrest, which had the side effect of pushing her breasts further outward. She raised an eyebrow when Kiba's gaze was instantly drawn to them.

The Inuzuka averted his eyes when he realised that his peeking had been noticed, doing the best he could not to blush. His mother and sister wouldn't be very impressed with him if word made it back to them that he had been blatantly staring at a woman's breasts, especially since she was taken and he wasn't sure he even wanted to know how Naruto would react. The blond was completely impossible to predict.

But it was really hard not to look. The readhead was freaking hot. Kiba had no idea where Naruto found her, but she was the most ridiculously beautiful and exotic woman that he'd ever seen and she clearly knew it too. The low cut yukata she was wearing exposed a lot of her shoulders and breasts, which if his eyes did not deceive him, were simply naturally that firm without needing a bra to support them.

"See something you like Kiba?" Came the frosty question from Naruto.

Kiba realised with mild horror that he had been staring at Xanna's breasts as if hypnotised for an unknown length of time. Judging by Shikamaru's somewhat strained expression, it must have been entirely too long.

"No! I mean...I didn't mean to. Sorry." Kiba said hastily, trying to climb out of the hole he had stepped into. He might have been cocky, but he knew better than to mess with another man's woman, or even just stare stupidly at her boobs. That was a good way to lose teeth, especially if you were dealing with someone like Naruto. Kiba was quite sure that the blond wouldn't even think twice about punching his lights out right here and right now.

Not to mention that it was really uncool to stare at a buddy's girlfriend. Kiba and Naruto might not exactly be best friends, but they were on good terms at least.

"No? Am I not good enough to look at then?" This time the frosty question came from Xanna.

Kiba felt his stomach trying to wring itself into a nervous pretzel when he looked into that predatory gaze. There was something about this woman that he couldn't quite point his finger at, but every instinct he had was telling him that he absolutely did not want her to be angry at him.

"No!...I mean yes, you are! You're totally hot." He once again blurted out, hoping desperately that it was the right thing to say.

The sound of Shikamaru facepalming told him that it wasn't.

"What was that?" Naruto asked dangerously, baring his teeth menacingly at the much smaller Kiba.

The Inuzuka teenager broke out into a nervous sweat. There was just no winning this. If he tried to appease one, then he was going to get chewed out by the other. He was granted a reprieve when a snort escaped Naruto, apparently unable to keep holding the hostile expression any longer because he was just too amused.

"Pathetic." Xanna said with some derision, leaning against Naruto's side and rubbed her right hand across his thigh. "You had more guts than this one when you were ten years old Naruto."

Kiba took a direct hit. Right in the pride. As far as this super hot woman was concerned he didn't even measure up to a ten year old Naruto. That stung.

"Well, he can't really help being less badass than me, if Neji were here he'd tell you that it's fated." Naruto said with an amused smirk at how bluntly Xanna had put Kiba down.

"What about this one then? He looks as if he's about to melt and dribble onto the floor." She asked, indicating Shikamaru's slouched posture.

"Shikamaru probably wouldn't mind that. Having a spine is so troublesome after all." Naruto informed her.

"Troublesome..." Shikamaru said with a sigh. This is why they didn't hang out with Naruto. Not because they had any particular dislike of him, but you just couldn't talk to him without somehow getting drawn into an argument or a fight of some sort.

Xanna seemed to lose interest in him by the time he'd said that word and snatched some of the meat from Chouji.

"Hey!" Chouji protested.

"What?" The demoness challenged with her eyes narrowed, baring her teeth at him the same way that Naruto had done to Kiba earlier.

Chouji broke into a cold sweat at the clear challenge, feeling the same nervous twisting in his gut as Kiba. He really didn't want to share his food, but he wanted to go against this woman even less. He didn't know if she was a kunoichi or not, but something was telling him that it wouldn't end well for him.

"Nothing." He said meekly and backed down, missing the incredulous looks from Shikamaru and Kiba and the amused one from Naruto.

Xanna finished stealing the last of Chouji's food, much to his dismay. She was a big fan of 'survival of the fittest' and his inability to even protest having his food taken, despite the fact that he clearly wanted to, was what made her take the rest of it in the first place. Sometimes she'd killed people like that on sheer principle. She knew that it was kind of petty, in a schoolyard bully sort of way, but she had a very low tolerance of cowardice.

Wasn't he supposed to be a shinobi, someone who dealt with life and death situations on every mission that he went on? How did he manage to get anything done if all it took for him to back down was a stare? Or was he one of those people who only showed courage in life or death situations? Well either way, he'd lost his food due to lack of backbone. It certainly hadn't been because she was hungry, she didn't need to eat after all.

"Beloved, I'm getting hungry." The demoness said to Naruto in a husky voice that left no doubt about the kind of hunger she was experiencing.

"Me too love. Lets go eat." He replied in the same tone, leaning closer to her and completely ignoring the gawky looks from the other three occupants at the table.

They were just about to get up and leave when another voice intruded on them.

"Hey guys. Who's your friend Naruto?" Asuma greeted and asked curiously. He'd heard that Naruto and Jiraiya were back but this was the first time he'd seen the blond and it was definitely the first time that he was seeing the gorgeous redhead with him.

The redhead in question stood and looked at him with an annoyed expression, those heart stoppingly familiar eyes burning into him even as she exposed her fanged teeth and spoke.

"I..." She began and placed two clawed fingers on his cheek. "am none of your concern!" She finished and slashed her fingers down along his cheek, cleanly cutting away his beard on that cheek, leaving him looking comically lopsided.

As a chuckling Naruto put his coat on, placed his hand on her rear and they made their way out of the restaurant, a stunned Asuma sat down at the table and asked.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Well..." Shikamaru drawled and began to explain. "We were just talking about how uncool we are, when we noticed Naruto and his girlfriend walking past the restaurant. Kiba wanted to get a closer look at her and invited them to join us."

Kiba didn't even bother to protest his reasons for the invitation, still feeling a bit bummed about being judged less manly than a ten year old Naruto.

The lazy Nara took a deep breath and continued explaining. "In the space of ten minutes, she tore strips out of Kiba's hide, insulted me and stole all of Chouji's food. She and Naruto apparently got horny while doing this and decided to go somewhere else when you interrupted them, which might be why she left you looking like an idiot."

Honestly, Shikamaru was just glad that he had gotten off easy.

Asuma just stared at his former student, fingering the nearly clean shaven cheek. That was a ninja's precision, but he'd never heard of any Konoha kunoichi like her before. Her coloring would have identified her as being from Kumo, but there was no way that the Raikage would send someone with that kind of distinct appearance on an infiltration mission.

"What's her name?" He asked.

"Xanna."

Another complete oddity. The name didn't sound like anything that he'd ever heard before, no matter which corner of the Elemental Nations she was from. And those eyes... He'd only seen those eyes on the Kyuubi when the great demon had attacked Konoha. He had been just a child then, though already a shinobi, but he could never forget those eyes.

Despite the absurdity of it, it was those eyes, along with the fangs and claws, that made him consider the possibility of the Kyuubi possessing a human form. He would have to tell the Hokage about this and let her decide.

"Either way, welcome to the table of uncool guys Asuma-sensei. You fit right in with your new beard style."

Asuma scowled. He was not an uncool guy damnit!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds Asuma? The Bijuu have always been known as giant, unstoppable forces of nature. Not once has there been the slightest hint that any of them are in some way intelligent and now you're telling me that you suspect that the Kyuubi is free and that she's walking around in human form, not destroying the village, but hurling insults at my shinobi and cutting off their beards, as well as dating Naruto." Tsunade said dryly to the now clean shaven Asuma. He'd been forced to shave the rest of it off or continue looking like an idiot until it regrew. The choice had been rather simple, since he could just regrow the whole thing.

"I know how it sounds Hokage-sama and I'm not saying that I'm 100 percent certain about this, I just think it would be wise to get Naruto's seal checked." Asuma reasoned.

Tsunade rubbed the bridge of her nose as she answered the Jounin with a wry tone. "The problem is, that Naruto is our best seal master and is therefore the one most qualified to check the seal. If I ask him to let Jiraiya take a look at it, it's either going to look like I don't trust him or that I have no faith in his ability."

Tsunade sighed and continued. "That being said, you do have a point. Just because we've never heard of it before doesn't mean it's impossible. I'll have Jiraiya take a look at the seal to see if Naruto might have released the Kyuubi. Dismissed."

Asuma nodded and left the Hokage's office.

The slug Sannin rubbed her hand over her forehead again and asked a question seemingly to the air. "What do you think Jiraiya?"

"I don't know Tsunade, Naruto isn't a very easy guy to figure out. He seems blunt as a hammer most of the time, but I know that he can be damn sneaky if he wants to be." The toad Sannin admitted as he dropped his personal invisibility technique. The only thing consistent about Naruto was the fact that he was damn near impossible to predict or figure out.

"Have you ever heard of this Xanna before, or at least a place where that kind of name might have come from?"

"The only thing I've heard of her before this was a few scattered mentions of Naruto taking her on a date three years ago, though I do have to confess that I was more focused on outside threats. As for the name...your guess is as good as mine."

Tsunade sighed again. She really wanted to believe that Naruto hadn't released the Kyuubi, but everything she heard was making this woman sound more and more suspicious. If she even was a woman and not a giant demonic fox in disguise.

"Well I guess there's nothing else for it but to check Naruto's seal and hope he doesn't get offended."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

If there was a way to continuously roll one's eyes, then Naruto would be doing so as his godfather peered at the Reaper Death Seal inscribed on his gut. He needed to constantly channel chakra into it to keep it visible, but he'd long since gotten used to doing that. It had been required if he wanted to tamper with it after all.

Clearly, they were doing this because someone, most likely Asuma, had reported to Tsunade about Xanna and they had come to the correct conclusion. It was a good thing that Naruto had prepared his bullshit ahead of time, now it was time to shovel it like a champion.

"So Naruto, I hear that you've got yourself a girlfriend." Tsunade said, clearly fishing for information.

Naruto grinned for more than one reason as he answered her. "Yep."

"How did you meet?" The slug Sannin asked with open curiousity. Even if Xanna wasn't the Kyuubi, she'd still want to know something like this.

"I met her when I was ten years old. I was in a tight spot, trying to get by in the red lights district isn't easy as an orphan and she did a lot to help me. She's probably the only reason that I didn't starve because of the idiot villagers and their misdirected hatred." Naruto said, scowling slightly at the end. That was still a sore spot for him, even all these years later.

On another note, speaking in half truths was awesome. Everything he said was totally true, just not in the way they'd think.

"So she was like a big sister to you? How old is she anyway?"

"I think she's about thirty or so, she never told me her exact age." Thirty centuries maybe. "And she's definitely never been like a big sister to me." Naruto snickered.

"What do you mean?" Tsunade asked, somehow feeling that this was important.

"Well, I asked her to marry me pretty much on the day we met." Well, not exactly, but it was the first time that he'd been fully conscious when he'd been with her.

Naruto burst out laughing at the poleaxed look on Tsunade's face. It was just so damn funny! Even Jiraiya looked at him incredulously.

"Why the hell would you do that?!" Tsunade demanded loudly, too stunned to apply some volume control.

"I was an orphan that everyone hated except the Ichiraku's and I didn't even know what marriage meant. I just knew that married people stayed together forever and I never wanted her to leave." That was total truth, and it would also make Jiraiya feel guilty for not being around and Tsunade would feel sorry that his life had been so bad. They'd be less likely to be suspicious that way.

"Oh... Did she explain it to you?"

"Not exactly...she just told me that she'd never marry someone so weak. It was a bit harsh, but it gave me a reason to train and get stronger, which was probably the point. She has some kunoichi training, so she was able to point me in the right direction and get me started." That was about two thirds bullshit, but there was only so much truth to go around.

"I've never heard of any kunoichi like her being part of Konoha." Jiraiya commented.

"Well that's because she was never a kunoichi. Her parents were Kumogakure missing-nin and moved to Konoha just before the Kyuubi attack. Unfortunately, they also died during the Kyuubi attack and Xanna had to survive alone, but since they'd already taught her some of their skills, she didn't have too rough of a time making it in the red lights district." Yeah, there was no way to insert some truth into that. Oh well, at least it was an easy explanation for her skin color, hurray for Kumogakure and it's hot dark skinned women and since neither of the two Sannin had been in the village at the time, they couldn't know any better. It was extra convenient that Naruto's old man hadn't trusted the council enough to let them clean his toilet and so he wouldn't have told them about something like this.

"Why did her parents defect from Kumo?" Tsunade asked in interest.

"Apparently one of her parents had a minor bloodline that gives them naturally stronger bodies, as well as the fangs and claws and Kumo wanted to breed them to spread it around. They took exception to that and escaped, eventually coming to Konoha to settle down. Xanna never really left the red lights district and kept out of sight, probably a bit paranoid about being used as breeding stock." That would conveniently explain why they don't know anything about her, since it wasn't all that hard to vanish in that part of town if you wanted to. Not to mention, Kumo's bad reputation about that sort of thing because of the incident with his mother and Hinata really helped make it credible. "Xanna isn't even her birth name, but something she chose for herself, probably to conceal herself further and no, I don't know what her birth name was."

Tsunade nodded, but was prevented from asking anything further because Naruto spoke again. "And the slitted red eyes, as well as the fact that my fangs are just like hers is because the bloodline originates from either Ginkaku or Kinkaku, who were said to have absorbed some of the Kyuubi's chakra." That was such a load of bullshit that Naruto was almost surprised they couldn't smell it. You couldn't just get a bloodline from absorbing a Bijuu's chakra.

Tsunade looked surprised but covered it up quickly by asking another question. "How did you know I wanted to know about that?"

Naruto looked at her as if she was stupid and answered. "You've got Jiraiya looking at my seal, when you know perfectly damn well that I can do it myself. On top of that you're asking me questions about my girlfriend, who has some very interesting features. I'm guessing some genius put two and two together and got twenty two, thinking that I'm dating the Kyuubi in human form or something." There was just the right amount of dry annoyance in his tone to convey how incredibly stupid he found the idea. Never mind the fact that it was true.

He hadn't quite been able to keep himself from hinting at the fact that it was true though, since you did get twenty two if you put two and two together.

Both Tsunade and Jiraiya looked sheepish and admitted to themselves that it did sound pretty ridiculous and the entire explanation was perfectly reasonable.

"But I guess I can't blame you, it's hardly the first time that some moron accused her of being the Kyuubi just because of her looks." Naruto said with a seemingly sad sigh.

The two Sannin looked a bit shamefaced at that. They prided themselves on not being judgemental about people's appearances but they'd just about accused Naruto's girlfriend, who he clearly loved, of being a demon because she looked different.

"Well, on another note, the seal is perfectly fine." Jiraiya said awkwardly, knowing that this bit of information was not making him and Tsunade look any better.

Naruto rolled his eyes and struggled mightily to suppress any sign of amusement. Of course the seal was fine, it was just empty.

"Duh. Did you really think that I'd release a giant evil demon?" Well, she could be giant if she wanted to be, but Naruto could never think of her as evil. She certainly wasn't any kind of saint, but randomly evil she was not.

The two Sannin shifted like chastised children and Tsunade asked another question to divert attention.

"So if you've been training so hard because you wanted to marry her, why did you go sleeping around with all those other women." Tsunade did her best to keep her tone neutral. She didn't want to sound like she was accusing him of anything, but it really did look as if he'd just taken the opportunity to play the field when Xanna refused him.

"Well, I was pretty damn persistent about that. Declared my intention to marry her pretty much every other day. I must have gotten through to her, because she slept with me when I was 16." Naruto grinned at the memory.

"And then what?" Jiraiya asked with interest.

"And then she told me that I sucked and that I should sleep with other women to get some more practice."

Both Jiraiya and Tsunade face faulted, having not expected that in the slightest.

"Boy...that woman is a keeper! Don't ever let her go!" The toad sage urged his godson, feeling indescribably proud. You don't find a woman like that every day!

"And she's ok with you sleeping around like that, even now?" Tsunade asked incredulously. That was just inconceivable to her.

"Well, once I got back from that training trip, she finally admitted that she loved me, so I wasn't planning on keeping it up. Now all I gotta do is convince her to marry me and I'll have achieved my life's ambition!" Naruto answered her with a wide smile, truly happy about the way things were progressing with his favorite demoness.

"The whole thing is insane, but I guess that's normal when I'm dealing with you. I can't help but admire the fact that you're willing to do all that just to marry a woman that you've been chasing for over ten years. Get out of here you perverted romantic bastard." Tsunade said, trying to scowl, but a smile was pulling at her lips.

This would certainly explain why Naruto was so foul tempered on his training trip, he'd been separated from the woman he loved. If that was how he was just because he was temporarily away from her, she didn't want to think how he'd have turned out if she hadn't been there for him. With the way that the villagers had treated him when he'd been a child, she wouldn't have been surprised if he had turned the village into a smoking crater.

No doubt he hadn't told anyone about Xanna because that kind of upbringing would have made him paranoid about keeping his loved ones secret so that nobody could hurt them.

"Well, I guess I was worried about his attitude on the training trip for no reason." Jiraiya admitted as soon as Naruto left. "I'll ask him if he wants to start training in Senjutsu soon. His chakra reserves are more than big enough and his body is plenty strong enough for it too. Besides that, any man willing to do all of that for the sake of love is sure not to abuse the power.

"Yeah, the brat definitely deserves to learn Senjutsu." Tsunade agreed and the continued on a more sour note. "I can't believe I actually took Asuma's concerns seriously. Kyuubi in human form. Hah! What a joke." She scoffed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"And then...and then I said...That you were descended...from Ginkaku or Kinkaku and that they gained the bloodline...when they absorbed some chakra from the Kyuubi!" Naruto gasped out in between his hysterical laughter, tears leaking from his eyes because of his mirth.

"And they bought that?!" Xanna asked incredulously, similarly laughing her ass off.

Naruto just nodded, laughing too hard to verbalise anything.

Naruto had rushed back to his apartment as fast as he could, his face cracking into a smile despite his best efforts. He'd just barely made it home when he couldn't contain himself anymore and exploded into laughter, much to Xanna's bemusement.

Once he explained how he had spewed enough shit to fertilize half of Fire Country though, she had joined him in laughing, collapsing on the bed with him in hysterics, unable to believe that he had actually managed to sell that story.

She'd picked her appearance because she had taken a liking to darker skin tones and yet Naruto had somehow managed to use that to make his bullshit backstory more credible, inserting all sorts of bleeding heart and tear jerking details into it to keep them from digging too deep .

Still laughing slightly, Naruto rolled on top of her and kissed her, to which she eagerly responded. In no time at all, they had kicked their clothes off and she had him firmly gripped in her hand and guided him inside of her, causing them to groan into each others mouth.

Life was good and if Naruto had anything to say about it, it would be getting better.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto and Sakura were making their way towards Tsunade's office, having been summoned for a mission. In addition to that, Naruto had also finished his project of making a Fuinjutsu version of Tsunade's super strength and Mystical Palm, which was something that he was quite pleased with.

Despite looking simple in principle, the super strength technique was an incredibly difficult thing to do. There were so many subtle nuances that a person using the technique needed to be watchful for that it was truly impressive to Naruto that Tsunade and Sakura could do it with only chakra control.

Someone using the technique needed to release a powerful chakra burst in order to achieve the explosive power the technique was famed for, but that was only the very tip of it. At the same time, the user needed to precisely reinforce the wrist, elbow, shoulder, spine and a slew of other joints in order to prevent them from getting damaged. Naruto couldn't calibrate the Fuinjutsu formula to release those precise bursts, but he could do the reinforcing part. The reinforcement itself was far more sophisticated than the regular chakra boosting that other shinobi used and granted a much greater power increase.

Naruto had inscribed an intricate series of seals along his spine, shoulders, hips and limbs that would give a constant strength increase. It wouldn't be as much of a boost as Tsunade or Sakura could achieve, but considering the fact that his body was naturally far stronger, the effect would likely be similar.

As he had expected though, it sucked up chakra like crazy, which was no doubt the reason that Sakura and Tsunade only used it in short bursts. Even he would be drained if he kept it up for too long...like say, a week or so.

He had it up at the moment, wanting to get used to it, as well as get a more precise idea about how much chakra it used up. The whole seal array looked like a very big and intricate tattoo that covered the majority of his body, though only a small part of it was visible going around his neck and shoulders, with the rest hidden under his clothes. While it was active at least, when it was deactivated it was invisible.

Another idea that had sprung to mind while working on the two techniques had been to plaster Mystical Palm seals all over himself. He could clearly remember how quickly he had healed when his regeneration had been helped along by that particular technique.

The whole thing was a bit more crude than his usual seal work, nothing more than dozens of copies of the same seal painted all over him. Since his chakra was naturally used to gravitating towards an injury, the seal nearest to the injury would activate and boost his natural healing factor.

Unknown to Naruto, he had made a crude rip off of Tsunade's Byakugō no Jutsu(Strength of a Hundred Technique) by doing this, only that his was going to activate automatically every time he got injured.

Their progress towards the Hokage tower was forestalled by a sudden assault of black and white beasts that forced them to dodge to the sides.

Naruto instantly sent chains spearing towards the creatures and was quite surprised when they burst into ink.

"On the roof!" Sakura called out, calling her teammate's attention to the pale, black haired teenager with a Konoha forehead protector sitting on the roof.

Naruto wasted no time charging towards the assailant, chains destroying any of the ink beasts that attempted to stop him. It was certainly an interesting technique, but the beasts themselves weren't all that strong.

The pale teenager drew a strange tipless tanto as Naruto drew into melee range, making a slashing motion that was clearly intended to force the blond to back off. Ignoring conventional logic, Naruto just charged right into the slash and slammed his fist into the unknown assailant's face, the minor slash wound healing over almost as soon as it was made.

Naruto had intended to only hit the guy hard enough to knock him to the ground, or at the very worst unconscious. Unfortunately, he had forgotten that he had the strength enhancing seal active, which caused the pale head to snap sideways with a sickening crack, the rest of his body crumpling to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.

"Naruto what did you do?" Sakura asked in horror as she arrived to see their assailant with his neck broken.

"Oops."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"He murdered my subordinate!" Danzo said with a scowl. He was going to milk this for all it was worth. Sai had been a useful tool and it was a shame to lose him, but at least his death would hopefully be of some use.

"The very idea! Me, a murderer?" Naruto said, faking shock and then pausing. "Murder is premeditated."

He and Sakura had been called to Tsunade's office, where the three elders and Shizune were already waiting, apparently discussing something else. An ANBU agent had swiftly informed everyone of the altercation with the pale teen, who they were informed, had been named Sai.

Naruto had promptly lost the slight regret he'd felt for accidentally killing the guy when he'd learned that the pasty faced teen was a direct subordinate of Danzo. The one eyed mummy was someone that should be lying in a coffin somewhere in Naruto's opinion.

"He was only supposed to test you, to see how skilled you were and you killed him for it." Danzo insisted.

"In my defense, it was an accident, I didn't know he was going to be so fragile." Naruto responded blandly.

"Enough!" Tsunade snapped, getting tired of the argument.

"Danzo, you have no business sending anyone to 'test' one of my shinobi, so you have nobody but yourself to blame if he died doing what you told him." The Godaime said to the bandaged old man, making him scowl slightly.

"Naruto, do try to be more careful in the future though." She said towards the blond, her tone much less harsh than it had been when adressing Danzo.

"You are going to just let him get away with killing a Konoha shinobi Tsunade?" Koharu asked in both shock and intense disapproval.

Tsunade's expression tightened at the disrespect the old woman was showing her by adressing her in such a familiar manner.

"Who the hell do you think you are, to adress your Hokage as if you were her equals?" Naruto coldly asked the elders. He wasn't actually much for titles or formalities, but these old fossils pissed him off just by breathing.

"Now listen here boy-" Homura began, but was silenced when Naruto snarled at him and exerted a crushingly powerful chakra pressure, shocking the entire room into silence.

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade bellowed, halting the escalating argument. "This discussion is over! Naruto was attacked without provocation and was fully in his rights to defend himself." She said with finality, making it clearly understood that she didn't want to hear another word about the subject.

"That being said, if any of you three ever adress me as anything other than 'Hokage-sama' ever again, you will not like the consequences." She said towards the elders. She had put up with their disrespect because they, along with her sensei, had been people she had looked up to in her youth. Naruto had a damn good point though, she was Hokage and they had no business talking down to her. She hadn't put too much stock in his words years ago, when he had said that people who spent too long in power always abused it, but the fact that Danzo had the balls to send someone to attack Naruto in broad daylight made it clear that he had been right.

"Now get out of my office Danzo." She commanded and the old mummy left, experiencing a great deal of irritation.

The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki was getting even more out of control than he had been when the Sandaime had been in power. Danzo had failed to seize power before Tsunade was appointed and the woman was even more lenient on him than Sarutobi had been. Something would have to be done about this, and soon.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and turned towards her fellow blond. "Naruto, due to your performance on your recent mission to rescue the Kazekage, I'm promoting you to Chunin, effective immediately and no, you can't refuse." She added the last part because she saw him opening his mouth and guessed what he was going to ask.

She didn't bother getting a vest for him, quite sure that he would refuse to wear it anyway.

"Fine." The huge blond said with a deflated tone, making Tsunade and Sakura smirk at him, while Shizune hid a slight smile.

"There was one other thing we wished to discuss with you Tsu...Hokage-sama." Homura said, catching himself in time before he aroused any further irritation from Tsunade by calling her by name again.

"With Akatsuki becoming active in the hunting of Jinchuuriki, we feel that it would be wiser to keep Naruto confined to the village." Koharu said, plunging the room into silence again.

A low, menacing laugh rumbled from Naruto's throat as he looked at the two elders and spoke derisively. "You're pathetic. Look at you, pissing yourselves at the thought of a few measly S-rank missing-nin."

He turned his back on them, not the slightest bit interested in wasting any more breath on them and spoke to Tsunade instead. "I've finished both of those projects we discussed two weeks ago Hokage-sama, here is the first batch. If they're good enough for you, I'll start making some more." He said and placed a box on her desk.

For once, he called her by her title, but mostly so that he wouldn't undermine her authority in front of the geriatric fools.

Tsunade's eyes widened and she eagerly took the box, intending to inspect it as soon as she was alone. "The other one as well?" She asked, wanting to know if he had managed to recreate her strength technique as well.

Naruto simply nodded and spoke again. "On that note, I'd like it if you sent me on any mission related to Akatsuki, I need some guinea pigs to test it out on after all."

"That's too reckless! If they capture you and extract the Kyuubi, there's no telling what kind of calamity could befall Konoha." Homura protested, having reigned in his anger at being insulted by the Uzumaki yet again.

"You worthless pieces of shit really have no backbone." Naruto said with a fanged grin, very much enjoying the way their expressions tightened at the insult. "I'm not going to cower behind a wall while Akatsuki goes around and hunts me. Very soon, they will learn to fear me."

"Send me after them, you won't be disappointed." He said to Tsunade.

The slug Sannin looked at Naruto's face, seeing the eager grin and the utter certainty that he was up to the task. If he had truly managed to make a Fuinjutsu version of her strength technique, then he would be a lot more dangerous that he'd been before. He may not have her evasion training, but he had a healing factor and Akatsuki needed him alive.

Fighting against an utterly fearless man with nigh infinite chakra reserves that you had to hold back against because you needed him alive was a bad situation for anyone. Factor in the fact that he simply wouldn't stay down and could break you in half with one punch and you get a nightmare of a situation. But more than just fearless, Naruto was obviously hoping that they would come after him, just so that he could fight them.

She wouldn't even consider letting him go off without backup, but after carefully considering it, Naruto was in fact one of Konoha's most powerful shinobi and Akatsuki needed to hold back against him.

He was pretty much the best possible choice for fighting them.

Aside from that, Jiraiya would take him to Myobokuzan soon, to learn Senjutsu and become a sage and she was well aware of what kind of power boost that would give him. She was quite sure that he would be stronger than her and Jiraiya as a sage, considering how strong he was now, which would make protecting him inside the village pointless.

"Alright Naruto, I'll send you along with any team that goes on missions where Akatsuki activity is suspected."

"Good." Naruto all but purred. "I can't wait for those idiots to attack." He finished with a grin and left the room, making sure to smack his ponytail into Koharu's face when he passed by her, snickering when she swatted her hand against the hair.

Tsunade looked at Naruto's retreating back speculatively, wondering why her fellow blond held so much vitriol for the elders. As far as she knew, he didn't even have much contact with them, so it was puzzling that he would display such open hatred for them.

She shook the thought off and turned to Sakura.

"Take this with you and go after him Sakura." Tsunade said to her apprentice and handed her a scroll. "The main reason that I promoted him to Chunin was so that you two could go on a mission together without a Jounin escort, not to mention that he's just too powerful to still be a Genin."

Sakura nodded and left, rushing to catch up to Naruto so that they could get started on their mission.

"As for you two..." She said, turning her gaze towards the elders. "Naruto is not a posession of the village, but one of it's strongest shinobi and you would do well to remember that. Try to interfere with him or undermine my authority again and I'll have you removed from your position on the elder council. Am I understood?"

"Yes Hokage-sama."