Chapter 8: "I Got A Bad Feeling About This"

I took in a shaky breath. At least, as far as possible with my face pressed in my pillow.

I'd immediately ran up to my room and locked myself inside after the file burned to ash.

"Why? Just why?"

I took in another shaky breath and forced myself to stop shaking and to calm down. Thousands of questions and memories I tried so hard to suppress twirled around in my head. Teasing me. Messing with me. Memories that make me feel horrible. Memories that make me feel sad, angry, hurt. All feelings I didn't want to feel. All the feelings that I tried to fight. The whole reason why I started to grown numb. I was suppressing all this pain that those memories brought me.

Am I ready to come face to face with this Beau Evander?

Am I ready to take someone's life again?

Do I really want that? Killing?

I don't know. I don't know if I can kill him when the moment is there. I haven't killed anyone after Lux's death. I swore to her that I wouldn't kill again. That I wouldn't kill anyone ever again, can I make an exception for him?

Can I do it at all?

I don't know if I'm ready. It's been twelve years since it happened. But still, after all this time… I don't know if I'll…

What if I break completely after facing him?

What if I don't?

I never accepted their death. I never recovered from it. I suppressed it. I tried to play it cool like nothing was bothering me… I don't think that act will hold when I'm face to face with this Beau Evander.

What was his reason anyway?

What did he gain from taking away my happiness? Probably money.

Was it worth it? That's a question I'd love to ask him. Was it worth it, Beau? Was your reward for murdering my loved ones worth it? Did it satisfy you? Did it?

"Sage! What's taking you so fucking long?!"

I took another shaky breath. I couldn't control my body. I was trembling on my bed. All these questions. All these horrible, painful memories… I… it was like they took complete control of me. I couldn't focus on my surroundings. I was dragged into my own little world. A world I hated. A world full of pain, heartbreak, hard days, drowning, and death. I watched how my whole world burned down. Time, after time again.

It never gets easier.

"Sage?" I recognized that voice. My body completely froze when a warm hand came in contact with my scarred skin. An action that gave me control of my body back. I took a sharp breath and spun myself out of the hold of the warm, comforting hand.

I looked up at the owner of the hand to see it was Jason. He looked concerned. "Are you okay, Sage? I haven't seen you shed a tear since… since Lux." Her name came out of his mouth, hesitantly. I brought my hands to my cheeks, and to my surprise, they were wet. I was indeed crying.

I started shaking again. And just by looking Jason in the eyes… I broke down.

I. Completely. Broke. Down.

Jason had already made his way onto my bed and wrapped his protecting arms around me. Pulling me close, comforting me. My body froze, but I ignored it. Just like I ignored the fear touching brought me. I pressed myself deeper in his hold and cried, and cried, and cried.

I cried until I hadn't any more tears to shed.

***

"Are you… are you okay?" Jason asked softly when I was calm again. I just nodded against his chest. "Sage… I just want you to know that you can talk to me. Don't bottle everything inside. Let people in. Let me in. You don't have to suffer alone. I'm here for you, Sage. I'll always be. Remember that."

I sniffed my nose and rubbed away the tears that hadn't found their way down yet. I broke free from his embrace and looked directly into those amber eyes. Eyes that stood concerned, sincere, real. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

"Thank you."

"Of course. You're my little sister, Sage. I may not always show it, but I do love you, you know." I rolled my eyes and made my way out of my bed. Leaving Jason chuckling.

"Now, are you done? I got a team to terrorize."

"There's the Sage I know."

***

"Jason. Sage, it's good to have you back. Now follow me. I need you for something." I just stared in the brown eyes of Aaron that were behind a pair of black glasses. Aaron is the guy who develops all the weapons and the interrogation toys. So, the tech guy. And I hate the guy. No, hate is the wrong word. I despise the guy. Yeah, that's better. I despise the guy, but I despise him less than I despise Sabrina.

"I have to take Sage to our Father. He needs her for her new job." Jason explained. "So, I can't let you take her with you, unfortunately."

"Yeah, I know about that. John told me about it, but he also told me that she has to go with me first. John hasn't informed her new team about her joining. That's what he's doing after he's done with his current meeting. So, Sage can come with me." I blinked. The only sign that gave away that I was surprised. I spun around to face Jason, who was staring at Aaron the same way I was just seconds ago.

"Well. In that case… Alright than. I guess I see you when I see you. Remember what I told you earlier, Sage. I meant it."

I nodded at my brother. "I know." My voice was almost a whisper. Jason smiled at me and then walked away with his hands in his pockets.

"So, you ready, Sage?"

"I honestly don't know where you need me for." Aaron looked at me strangely.

"Hasn't your father told you about it?"

"Told me about what?"

"Oh, I see. He didn't inform you. Oh, well." Aaron shrugged and made his way towards the basement. His domain. I just followed him quietly. The basement always gave me the creeps. Aaron did, too, to be honest. I took in a deep breath and stayed quiet.

"So, now I want you to take place in that chair." I frowned while looking at the chair that looked somewhat like a dental chair. The only difference was between this chair and the one you find in a dental practice were the belts that were made to hold the person in the chair in place. To make sure that he or she doesn't escape.

"You want me to sit on that?" I asked, pointing at the chair. I have a bad feeling about this.

"Yes, I do. So, sit your ass down." I spun myself around to look Aaron directly in the eye. He just stared back. Not intimidated at all by my intense glare. "Sit down, Sage. Don't make this harder than it has to be."

I muttered some curses under my breath but sat down in the chair. My eyes wandered to the curtains beside me. I frowned. What's behind those bloodred curtains? What is it covering? Maybe it's Aaron's collection of potted baby animals. I shiver ran down my spine. That's gross.

I looked away from the curtains to Aaron, who stood on the other side of me. Directly beside the chair, I sat on. "Dude, ever heard about personal space?" I asked him with my blank stare. Aaron just rolled with his pale brown eyes. His bleached hair hanging in front of his face.

I sighed deeply and stared at the ceiling. Before I could react, Aaron strapped the belt for my left arm around me. He started to strap all four of them. He was making sure that I couldn't move both my arms and both my legs.