Pleasure and Denial 

Do you sometimes wake up in the morning, wishing that whatever happened the night before was a dream? I have never, but the first morning when I woke up next to Xiao Lan, I wish it was all a dream.

In my dream, I dreamed of all the women who had sex with me in the past. They stood around me, smiling and pointing their fingers at me.

"Ha…ha…ha… you are someone's bitch now!"

"How does it feel?"

"You like sticking your popsicle inside us. How does it feel to be the one receiving that popsicle?"

"Ha…ha…ha…ha…"

"Stop it! I don't want to be anyone's bitch. I don't like it…" I covered my ears and cried on the floor like a baby, while twenty women laughed at me.

The horror in the dream made me wake up. I woke up slowly, feeling pain in my waist. I blinked before I realized that I was not in the dungeon room. I lay on my belly on the soft bed. When I woke up I knew it was just a dream, and I felt very happy.

Yes, I am not someone's woman. I feel my heart is full of happiness. I can continue to sleep, but the pain in the lower back prevents me from falling asleep. I closed my eyes with a smile on my face and my reality wall came crushing on me, when I heard the blanket rustling beside me. I slowly turned my head and I saw Xiao Lan lying next me.

It can't be, it's not true. Wait, it might just be that Xiao Lan happened to be sleeping in the same bed as me. I slowly lifted the blanket and saw Xiao Lan completely naked. He has a muscular abdomen and large breasts. I completely lifted the blanket, Xiao Lan and I were naked.

"Ah…." I quickly back away from Xiao Lan, I fell from the bed to the floor, and hit my butt severely. Then, the immediately pains shoot up my... you know what…

No…no…no…no…I turned my head, lowered my head, and recalled the memory of last night. Last night, when we kissed, Xiao Lan broke the door of the room. He carried me up to the bed and we continued to have sex on the bed.

I sobbed heavily faced down on the cold floor. I can't accept it, and I continued to hit the floor with my right hand. I should hate Xiao Lan, so when this turn out like this? The most hurtful feeling is that it is me who seduce Xiao Lan. He told me many times not to go down to the Dudgeon, but I insisted on provoking him. There are many reasons why I continue to cry. I cried because of denial, self-humiliation and pain.

"What are you crying for?" Xiao Lan asked.

"Shut up!" I sobbed loudly. "You took my innocence away."

"You were not so innocent last night." Xiao Lan said. Then he pointed out that everything that happened to me was due to my own fault, thus adding to his last attack. "I did tell you not to go there for the next seven days."

"How many days?"

"Seven days."

"What? We have had sex for seven days?"

"Yes."

When I knew it was not only one night, but we had been at it for seven days, so I cried even louder. No wonder my bottom is so sore, and my lower back is throbbing in pain.

"You took advantage of me? You drug me…I am going to file a charge against you." I turned to my left and pointed my finger at his face. "You rape me!"

"If you are not ashamed of yourself, then you can continue to file a lawsuit and accuse me of raping you."

I sniffed sadly, thinking about about Xiao Lan's words. Yes, if charges are brought against him, then we will have to go to court, and his lawyer will ask him to testify against me. After that trial, the whole world will know that he raped me. It is more shameful than we keep it as a secret between me and me. Secondly, Xiao Lan Lawyer will argue that this is a voluntary sexual act between two adult men. I thought about it, why would Xiao Lan be so confident about the whole situation. Is there a catch that he didn't tell me about?

"Do you think I wouldn't do it?" I used my shirt to blow my nose.

"I've recorded it. If you want to watch it, you can. Sex is voluntary. You came to me."

Xiao Lan gave me the iPad. I pressed play. When Xiao Lan held me, I saw myself nailed to the wall willingly. My arms was around Xiao Lan's neck and I kissed him. Due to the angle of the camera and Xiao Lan's long tail, I can't see anything, but the according to the recording, I like the sex with Xiao Lan. When Xiao Lan thrusted faster, my moans became louder. I am totally a slut in Xiao Lan's arms.

After Xiao Lan slowly put me down, I knelt down and began to suck his popsicles. I turned into instructor Hang. I can't accept it. If I am going to do this with a man, then I should be the one who penetrated, not the one who received the penetration.

"I don't want to watch it anymore." I threw the iPad on the bed, and then buried my face in the bed. I forgot to stop the video, so I still hear myself moaning.

"Harder, Xiao Lan, ah…ah…ah… Oh Xiao Lan give it to me."

"Turn off that thing," I shouted at Xiao Lan.

Xiao Lan took the iPad and turned it off.

"Get yourself ready for training."

"I don't want to face challenges, and I'm not physically prepared." I refused to get up.

"Trust me, this is nothing compare to the actually training." He got walked to the bathroom.

"Why don't you feel ashamed when you walk around? You even seem to be proud of what is happening."

He turned around with his monster popsicle. He looked at me, then looked at him, and went on to the bathroom. After a while, I heard the show started. I was so angry that I rushed into the shower and opened the door.

"Get out." I demanded. "I want to take a shower first."

"It's big enough to hold two people."

"Get out." I reached for Xiao Lan, but because he had soap on his body, I actually slip inside the shower.

"Get out, I'm already here." He pushed me away.

I pushed him away, walked into the shower, and closed the door. Since he has no shame, why should I be considerate towards him? If I want to, I might be as shameless as him.

The shower is big enough for fit five people inside. The rain shower from the ceiling is very luxury I let the warm hot water ran down my back toward my buttock and it sting very bad when it touch my rear. I really want to know what happen down there, but I can't see my butt. I looked at Xiao Lan who washing his body peacefully with no shame.

"Xiao…Lan… could you…" I was embarrassed, so I decided not to continue.

"What it is?" He turned around.

"Can you check...can you check below?"

"Turned around."

I slowly turned around, Xiao Lan took a long time examining me. I didn't know Xiao Lan checked behind me, but suddenly I felt Xiao Lan's hands scrubbing my hair. I quickly turned around and hit his muscular chest.

"What the hell are you doing? I want you to check my bottom, not scrubbing my hair. How was it?"

"Washing your hair." He continued to washed my hair. "It's fine, just a little swelled, but you will get better."

"I am very capable of washing my hair." I moved away, and Xiao Lan grabbed my waist.

"Don't move."

Xiao Lan grabbed the soap, and then began to wipe the soap on my entire back, non-virgin buttocks, and then on my legs. Then he turned around. He wiped wet soap on my chest and when he reached my chest. When the wet soap touches my nipples, it gives me a tingling tenderness.

"Hmm…" I heard myself. Is that a moan? It can't be. I don't think it is. Did Xiao Lan hear it? Does Xiao Lan think is a moan?

"Only seven days, and you are this sensitive. What happen if I suck these things every day? I wonder what will happen?" Xiao smirked as his two hands slowly rubbed on my nipples.

Yes, he heard it completely, he thought it was a moan.