Past - 21 Her hidden desires (1)

"Sorry babe, I could not afford a five-star hotel."

Regina's eyes widened. Standing in their hotel room she was feeling like she was in a dream. Jason was doing so much for her and he was still worried he could not give her more. Right now she wanted to go back in time and tell her younger self that one day she will find her true love, a man so perfect that she would fall deeply in love with him.

She did not respond to him, instead, she tried to capture his face in her memory. She leaned at him and gave a kiss on his lips.

Confused Jason, stared deep into her eyes but soon tilted his head, caught her head with his hands, allowing her tongue to slide between his lips.

A hunger for more grew inside her. Letting that hunger grow she started kissed him harder, pressing against him with an urgency growing out of control. She started becoming hot. Not just the hunger but the desire for him started growing more and more but soon it a regret also started growing. 'I should have spoken told him how badly I needed to be possessed.'

For months, she felt like she was losing him. She felt he no longer belonged to him or he belonged to her.

"What happened, babe? You seem lost." Jason asked while taking separating their lips.

Regina felt bad for drifting away from him."It is just I want you so badly. I need you so so much. I want you to always with me. Can we celebrate today just like our first night?" Her eyes flew to the bathroom. "We could have a shower together, then I can show how much I want you."

For this very day, Regina had specially ordered an expensive black push-up bra and a garter belt matching that bra. She tried to plan everything for this holiday. She would wear her stuff and Jason would take them down slowly. She had bought some lotions for her to use on him while pleasuring him. She had even gone to an expensive beauty parlor and had some painful waxing in her special regions. She was sure that right now that region was as soft as baby skin.

She trembled at the thought of Jason looking at her with lustful gaze before pushing her on the bed while pinning himself on her. The thought of him taking her from behind, their bodies becoming sweaty while going into madness, intoxicated her even more.

Thinking of all of this while she was almost getting wet down there, Jason pecked her lips, "I am so sorry babe but I am super tired right now. Can't you wait till tomorrow?"

Disappointment flooded inside her, cooling her down like someone threw a bucket of ice water on her. Even though she wanted to do all of that so badly, she did not want to force him in doing it. "It's alright."

"Babe don't make that disappointed face. If you really want to do it right now then let's do it. okay." His voice was telling how tired he was, but he still put up a smile.

'Are we really this stale?' The hunger and passion for him turned into fear. 'I could not show him. Not now. Not when he seemed happy with simple and normal sex in once or twice a month.'

She did not want him thinking of her as a sexual deviant or ruin their holiday before it would even begin. She made up her mind not to spill her secrets. 'It would be a mistake to think I could.'

"No, you're right. It's late. We should go to sleep," She said while putting on a fake smile and moving towards the bed.

She did not get far before Jason caught her elbow. "You are lying."

"What? No. Why do you think I am lying? I am also really tired." She blinked.

He did not believe her and stared at her with his narrowed eyes. Shame shimmered over her skin. She bowed her head and looked at the floor. "I am sorry, Jason."

Tears started gathering in her eyes. She no longer wanted those things. She now just wanted to please Jason. She felt like being a selfish and horrible partner.

He ducked, looking into her watery gaze. "Hey, babe. Let's do whatever you wanted. Tell me what you wanted to?" He pulled her to the bed and into his lap.

She immediately went into his embrace but she did not answer. Thoughts like, 'what if I told him and he started hating me? What if he would push me away and leave me alone' kept her head heavy.

"Babe."

Regina looked upwards towards his face. He had a serious face, his eyes burned into hers. "Please do not lie to me."

She nodded. Looking at her eyes, her determination got stronger. "Okay. Just give me a few minutes. I want to show you something."

While saying that she prayed inside. 'Please like it. Please.'

He reached for her hand, squeezing her fingers. "I would like to see whatever you want to show me."

She bit my lip. Hot happiness scorched inside her, and kissed him. "You have no idea what this means to me."

He ducked his head, looking through half-lidded eyes. "I think I do." Helping me off his lap, he tapped her butt. "Go. Be quick, so I don't fall asleep."

Her new confidence deflated.

Jason groaned. "Babe, you are overthinking it." He pulled her back, wedging her between his spread thighs. "I'm never letting you go. So whatever it is, do not be afraid."

She leaned in and hugged him tight. "I'm already yours."

His breath turned shallow and he leaned up to kiss her. It started innocent, sweet, but slowly, he tilted his head, kissing deeper. His hand dropped to her waist, closing the remaining distance. His tongue licked her in gentle invitation.

She clenched her hands on his shoulders as she warmed, shedding fear and uncertainty. She moaned as he nibbled her bottom lip, reaching behind her neck to make her bend into his kiss.

Everything clenched, revved, and grew slick with need.

Jason stopped kissing her, and their breathing rasped. "Show me."

He pushed her away gently and she went to her suitcase. Unzipping the upper section where she had hidden her personal treasures along with her new lingerie in a small bag. Taking that bag out in her hands, sucking in a deep breath, she said, "I'll be right back."

Jason nodded. "I will be right here."

She went into the bathroom and flicked the lock. Placing the bag in the sink, she stared at her reflection. After a long flight, she was a mess but she wanted to get it over with. She could not stop feeling like it was a huge mistake. "You can do this. Just be honest. Everything else, we can work through it. It could turn out to be a good thing, the next step in our relationship. It might make us stronger."

She shed her clothes and stepped into the lacy black G-string and matching push-up bra. The bra made her boobs look bigger and firm. She wanted to feel sexy and hot, but she really felt like a fraud.

Her snowy skin looked virginal against the slutty underwear. "God, I look like a wannabe idiot dressed in this lingerie."

Looking at her reflection, her fingers trembled as she unrolled the fishnets up her leg, and snapped the garter belt clips to keep them in place. Even more ridiculous.

She sighed, scowling at her reflection. She wanted to be sexy, crude but dirty but what she got were insecurity and regret. "Dammit, this was not how I wanted to feel."

She met her eyes in the mirror. "Let's just get over with it."

Ruffling her hair, looking at her belly for one last time, she stepped outside of the bathroom."What do you think?"

Jason was lying on the bed with his eyes closed, when he heard her voice he slowly sat up while yawing with his mouth wide open. Before he could close his mouth, he looked at her, as if his mouth froze, his remained open without moving.

She could see desire exploding in his eyes, sparking lust deep inside him, overriding her fear of rejection.

"Babe you look..." Before he could finish, he saw Regina's eyes were looking at his lap. He realized his manhood was in full swing. He immediately readjusted his shorts.

"Wait."

"Huh?!"

'Please please please don't start hating.' While thinking that from her small bag she took out a red leather whip along with a fancy handcuff and a red silicone vibrator. 'Oh, God, why was I doing this?'

With his eyes staring at Regina's hand with disbelief, Jason swallowed a mouthful. "Yo... whe... wh... ho..."

"Jason, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I just thought... I just want us to be more closer. I just think maybe it can bring us more closer." She tried to explain herself mixed with some lies. She hated that she had to lie, but she did want to lose Jason too.

She was not sure if she could tell Jason about all of her fantasies. How he will react, maybe he will start thinking that she was missing her old days in the nightclub, maybe he will start thinking of her as a sex-maniac. She did not want to risk it, one step at a time. "If only you would like.."