Chapter 10

Ethan's plan to drive up to Montana and surprise Rob was put on hold, because it was the end of the fiscal year and Barnes was getting on his case to finish the overdue sales reports. Previously, staying late at the office hadn't been so bad because Rob had been around, even if they were in different departments. But now, Ethan had no respite from the endless paperwork. He was the consummate salesman, but he really sucked at paperwork and hated doing it. Sales was his passion, not the endless weekly and monthly reports.

Now that Rob wasn't around to joke and hang out with him, he was beginning to wonder why he was staying at this job. Sure, the money was good, but he had saved enough for his own business. It was something that he had been dreaming about for years, and he certainly wasn't getting any younger.

Well, at least Rob was chasing his dream. What the heck was Ethan doing with his own life?

***

It was late by the time Ethan finally reached Julia's apartment. There was no answer when he knocked on the door, so he let himself in with his own key. The living room was dark, but there was a faint light emanating from her bedroom. He hesitated. If she was asleep, he should probably head home. But then, why wouldn't he want to be here? This was his girlfriend, for fuck's sake. He was supposed to want to be with her.

He stealthily made his way to her bedroom, but he stopped in his tracks when he heard some soft hitching sounds. Then he realized what they were. Julia was crying.

When he pushed open the door, he found her sitting in front of her laptop, her hunched shoulders heaving with sobs. He approached her slowly, concerned but wary. "Jules, what's wrong?"

She started a little at the sound of his voice, but once she realized it was him, her face crumpled in anger. "Right now I don't even want to look at you," she whispered bitterly. "Get out."

Ethan was stunned. "What's wrong? What did I do?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She plucked a Kleenex from a nearby box and mopped her tears away, refusing to meet Ethan's eye.

"Jules, come on," he pleaded. "Just tell me what I did, I'm sure we can talk about-"

"I said I really don't want to talk about this, Ethan."

"So what am I supposed to do?" He knew he was getting angry, but he was exhausted and hungry and the last thing in the world he needed at the end of a crappy day was some cryptic argument with Julia. "Am I supposed to just walk away and go home, since you don't want to talk about this? I don't know what to do here, Jules!"

She wiped her nose a little too violently. "Then go ask your best friend Rob, see whether he knows what I'm talking about."

He didn't even know how to react to that sentence. "What the HELL?"

"Look." She reached out and grabbed the computer mouse, shaking it violently. The laptop screen came to life, and Ethan could see a video clip paused midway. It was someone's wedding, and in the video clip he saw himself in his best man's garb, sitting at a table with Julia and Rob. His laugh was frozen, and it came back to life as Julia clicked on the 'Play' button. He watched himself smile, chatting with Rob, completely ignoring an increasingly frustrated and lonely Julia right beside him.

"Now you see what I mean?" She was shaking her head, her soft brown eyes filling with tears again. "And this is not the first time it's happened. It's just that this is the first time it's been caught on video."

Ethan seriously didn't know what to say. "I-I don't-"

"The way you look at him, it's just...I don't know what to say." Her voice was angry, yet wistful. "You're hanging onto his every word. Oh, and this is my favourite part." She pointed at the screen, where a two-dimensional Julia was trying to get Ethan's attention and ask him to get something for her, probably a drink, but he was too busy laughing at what Rob was saying. The look on her face said it all. He closed his eyes, taking a step back.

"So what are you saying?" He didn't even realise that his hands were trembling with barely contained rage. "You're saying that I'm secretly in love with my best friend? That I'm having an affair with Rob? Huh? Come right out and say it, Jules, dammit! Then you'll realise just how ridiculous it sounds!"

The tears were flowing again freely, but her voice was steady and calm now. "At first I thought it was another woman, Ethan. I honestly thought it was. But I admit that I broke into your email account and all I saw were emails from and to Rob. And your cell phone."

Ethan was horrified. "You broke into my phone? And snooped around my email?"

She still refused to look at him. "You left me no choice. You were drifting further and further away. I had to decide if our relationship was worth saving, but first I had to know if there was another woman-"

"I TOLD you there was no other fucking woman!" he shouted. "And you didn't trust me!"

Wiping away the rest of her tears, she tossed the Kleenex into a wastepaper basket. "True, there was no other woman. But instead, It was Rob all along. And isn't that much, much worse?" Now she was finally looking at him, and her cold, dead gaze struck a pang of fear deep inside his chest.

He was shaking his head now, partly in disbelief, partly because he just didn't know what to say. "I can't believe this," he said at last. "I just can't- I can't do this anymore, Jules."

She turned her head away, and her voice was now choked with sobs. "Please l-l-leave," she whispered, her breath hitching. She rose to take the few steps to her bed, then collapsed on it. "I can't look at you anymore."

Feeling weary and worn as though he had just marched a thousand miles, Ethan took one last look at the crumpled, crying figure on the bed before turning and walking out of the apartment.

He didn't look back once.