Chapter four.

Today at five in the afternoon I will be taking the plane without returning to New York.

I don't know how to feel about it yet. It hurts me to leave all this without knowing when I will be able to return, and even more, it terrifies me to be with someone who I don't know who he is.

What kind of person am I going to meet?

I put the last sweater that remains outside in the big suitcase that is on top of my bed. All the clothes I had have gone in perfectly, I just need that as soon as I'm there, the furniture reaches me.

What is strange to me is that I have not received any kind of message yet. No one has followed me or made any movement that managed to get my attention. I do not understand. If they want revenge, why aren't they looking for me?

I did not manage to remove information from my cousin more than what she has told me, according to her, she does not want to see me involved in it and she prefers to take care of it herself; Just thinking that she might end up in danger baffles me.

I don't wish that any of my family ended up badly because of me.

I shake my head. I need to focus on something else.

Just when I am going to finish closing the suitcase, I hear the doorbell of my house and I choose to open fast.

"Good morning, girl," greets my cousin with a smile. I give him another in response and let it pass. "Do you have everything ready?"

"The suitcase is packed. It only remains to take a shower," I answer as I walk towards the kitchen. She follows me with her pointy heels. "Do you want coffee?"

She nods. She rests her bag on the breakfast bar.

"I can't believe you're leaving."

"Neither have I. Have you been able to talk to Grandma? She's not answering the phone."

"Sorry, I barely had time," she admits ruefully. I hand her the cup and he takes it in her hands. "But we can take a detour before we go to the airport. If you say you already have everything you need, we are assured of time."

Seat.

"Okay. I'll take a shower and we can go."

An hour later we are in the car straight to my grandmother Beta's house. She has been a long time mother to me, and just realizing that I won't see her often anymore makes my heart get a little smaller than it already is.

Chiara leaves the road to enter the one that goes directly to my grandmother's house, in Canale di Tenno.

A small town somewhat remote from Lago di Garda, recognized throughout the country as the most important and which is in the north of Italy. My nanny lived here for years, her whole family lived here long before WWII, where after she is, the town began to fill up even more. Everything about him is picturesque and fascinating; like a fairy tale.

My cousin drives into our grandmother's small but rewarding town and after passing the stone path, we park in front of the house. All her structures here were built a long time ago, around 1200. The houses are as time has passed, they all maintain their essence and their particularity. Although they also do it because tourists frequent at various times of the year; to them it is a relic.

As I get out of the car, I see my grandmother walking towards us.

A smile is planted on her face.

"My little parrots!", She exclaims, full of happiness. She loves that we visit her. She approaches me first and with her wrinkled hands, she squeezes my cheeks as she smiles. "My treasure. How have you been? It feels like years that I haven't seen you!"

"Hello nana", I say between laughs. I give him two kisses. "How have you been?"

"Great. Oh my dear!"

She separates from me and takes my cousin also by her cheeks to plant two kisses. The red girl laughs and looks at her sweetly; we love our nana. She has been very important in our lives since we were young. Her love was never lacking.

"How are you, grandmother?" Chiara asks her.

Our nanny smiles.

"Now much better than I can see you. What are you doing around here? Come in, come in before it gets colder."

We follow her to the old stone stairs that still remain and go up to the first floor, where she opens the large oak door. When we enter I can feel that smell that has so much meaning: my childhood. My home.

All the furniture has kept its place since I was here the last time. My grandmother has a very nice house and although it is a little small now, because I rent the lower part for foreigners, it is still rewarding.

I smile when I smell a particular smell.

"Nana, are you making your blackberry pudding?" I ask as I take off my booties and go to the kitchen.

"I thought she was hallucinating, but now that you say so ..." Chiara points out with a smile as she takes a drag on her cigar.

I see my grandmother's small stature and approach her, gently squeezing her slim shoulders. She smiles at me as she pulls a large pudding out of the aluminum pan. Her stomach growls at me at the scent.

"She had made it for the Spaniards below, but now that you're here, I'll make another one for you later. Darling, get the kettle ready. I'm going to bring this to the table.

I nod as she leaves the kitchen and then I take the kettle, fill it with water and put it on the fire. While I wait for it to be hot I meet them.

I just think that I don't know how bad it is that I'm going to leave.

It would break my heart.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of us are seated at the large table, also made of dark oak, with our respective cups of coffee and a bit of milk, and the pudding in the center. My grandmother is stirring the steamer while Chiara gives me a look and tilts her head, waiting for me to speak to her.

Deep breath. Here we go.

"Grandma ...", I speak then. She looks at me through her gray eyes. I take her hands in mine. "Actually, I came here to tell you something."

She stares at me for a good few seconds until her smile widens. I frown. Has she grabbed something for you?

"Oh my darling ...", she begins herself. She kisses my knuckles. "I know what you're going to tell me, and, you have my full support. You don't have to ask for my opinion."

I look at her confused, has she really guessed her? I always knew that she was a medium but I didn't think of it this way. Chiara and I glance at each other before he speaks again. None of us understand.

"Do you really know?"

"Of course!"

Chiara opens her eyes, surprised.

"Wow, that was quick ..."

"You have a boyfriend!" Exclaims my grandmother. I stay static in the place while she smiles happily.

My eyes widen as Chiara chokes on the piece of pudding that she has swallowed due to the laughter she accumulated. She has to have some coffee in order to recover. Oh shit. What I was missing.

"Now that I think about it, you could use it huh", she indicates with an amused smile. She showed him her middle finger.

"Fuck off."

My nanny then takes a sip of a coffee and keeps looking at me intrigued, waiting for my answer.

"And where have you met the boy?"

"No, Grandma. I don't have a boyfriend," I clarify in the midst of irritation. This can not be possible. "I don't even want to have it in a good time, okay? But what I have to tell you is something else much more important."

So, she changes the happiness on her face to a worrying one due to my lack of humor. She starts to worry, I can tell. Damn idea I've gotten myself into.

"Honey, is everything okay?"

"Yes, she is," he assured, trying to reassure her. I continue: "What I wanted to tell you is that I am actually going to move to another country. I am going to go to work in New York."

The reality is that my nanny knows very little about what she went through years ago with Jack, my ex-fiancé. And I prefer it that way. Because even though she is seventy years old, she is an older woman and she needs to be calm. Not worried about what she might happen to her granddaughter.

"To another country?", She repeats herself. I nod. "But when are you leaving?"

"This afternoon."

He frowns.

"What a shameless thing!", She exclaims then her. Here we go with Grandma's dark side. "I can't believe it! And you weren't going to tell me before? I barely had time to see my granddaughter! Dannazione, my stupid face is not!"

I bring my hands to my head, and sigh. When the nanny starts speaking in Italian, it is because she is really upset. She is right. But this is clock time, and I need to get out of here before they find me.

Chiara takes care of my situation and takes my grandmother's shaking hands.

"Nana, listen to me", she tells her then. The nanny looks at her annoyed. "Nobody is looking at your stupid face, really. A very important client of mine needed an assistant and I recommended Sam. She is very good at working and needs to have experience. It is a unique opportunity ... You understand."

"Besides, I'm going to come see you or you can go see me, I can buy you some tickets once I get settled there."

"I will not travel on a plane alone. Ho il panico!"

My cousin takes a deep breath, retaining her patience. When grandma gets mad, she's usually a pain in the ass.

"You will travel with me, Grandma. We have come here so that Sam can say goodbye calmly and you are giving him more problems than a cow," she blurts out. They both have a character much greater than mine. "Un po’di pace!"

My grandmother then falls silent. The three of us do. And after minutes of almost losing my mind, she gets up and comes up to me to hug me.

That fills my soul. I also hug him back.

"I'm sorry, my darling. It's just that having you so far from me ... I don't want to lose my beautiful Tulipano", she takes my face in her hands and sighs. "Although I know and feel that you will be fine there. You are strong."

I nod, trying not to tear down the tears.

"I am, Nana. I am. And as soon as I can come, I will. Okay?"

At twenty minutes to five the airport loudspeakers blare all over the place, warning that the nonstop flight to New York was leaving in fifteen minutes. So with the check-in done, I grab the handle of my suitcase and go to the line with my cousin.

The truth is that I don't want to say goodbye because I know I'll end up crying and I don't want to make a fool of myself here, but my eyes still feel cloudy.

When I only have three people left in front of me, I turn to Chiara.

She is already crying.

"Don't do that," I plead in a whisper, hugging her. I hear her sobbing.

"Promise me that you will take care of yourself. If only something unusual happens ..."

I take her by the shoulders and make her look into her eyes.

"I'll call you, I swear. Plus I'll Skype you every day."

She smiles.

"I hope so," she indicates. Pucker your lips. "You will be fine."

"I'm going to be while you guys are," I determine as she took his hands in mine. "Please take care of Grandma. And take care of yourself too."

Chiara nods and then wipes the tears from her cheeks. The girl in charge of taking my ticket speaks:

"Miss, her ticket please hers."

"I'll give it to him right away," I tell him. I turn to my cousin and hug her even tighter, making a few tears come loose from the place. I'm going to miss them too much. "See you soon, okay?"

He shakes her head in a settlement as I keep holding on to her. We last a few more seconds until the girl speaks again. Then Chiara separates from her and looks at her reluctantly.

"I have not paid a ticket of a thousand euros for you to come to want to hurry me," she says angrily. I laugh trying to shut her up. "I'm sure none of his family members have left to make him this callous."

The girl looks at her puzzled through her eyes, her honey. I pity her, Chiara can often be a pain in the ass for her and she will not shut up her duck mouth.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. But the plane is about to leave."

"Easy, Chia. I'll call you as soon as I land, okay?"

"Good," she nods herself and she kisses me twice on the cheeks. "I love you, Sammy."

"And I you."

And turning around, I hand the fast ticket to the girl. She is showing me where I have to go and with a settlement, I continue straight without first turning and waving to the redhead. She is in tears, and inevitably, so am I.

I take a deep breath as I walk down the hall.

"Here we go, New York," she murmured.