Chapter 13

It was the morning of my birthday, only hours before the party. I should have already been home getting ready, but instead I stood in a beautiful sitting room, holding a large box and wearing a friendly smile.

Edith stared at me, unable to hide her suspicion. "Why are you here?"

"Darling!" Edith's mother, the Countess of Erand, frowned at her daughter. "Don't be rude!" Turning to me, she continued with an ingratiating smile. "We're honored to have you here, Lady Lenora. We've always been so happy to see you two be such good friends; you are such a good role model for her, quite the perfect lady!"

Edith looked put out at her mother's flattery. "Not such good friends lately." She muttered.

"Edith…" the countess began to scold, but I stepped forward, interrupting her.

"It's perfectly alright, Countess. I have been so busy with my lessons preparing to be Queen that I've neglected my best friend. Of course she would be upset!" I enjoyed the anger in Edith's eyes that always appeared when I spoke about becoming queen. "But today, I've come with a peace offering!" I held up the box in my hands.

"Oh, that's simply wonderful! You are too gracious to our daughter!" She looked closer, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight of the blue and white ribbon and red wax seal on the box. "Is this a dress from 'Prosperity'?"

"It is!" I turned to Edith, handing her the box with a grin. "I heard that you hadn't been able to be seen there, and felt terrible."

Edith looked down at the box, shaking her head. "They're supposed to be very exclusive… how did you…?"

"Well, it really depends. They tend to waive the requirement for a recommendation for people of higher rank. " I pretended not to notice the rage that crossed her face as I casually mentioned her lower status. "But now that I know, I've made the recommendation, and you can shop there anytime."

The countess clapped her hands, not noticing her daughter's frustration. "That's wonderful, isn't it Edith?!"

"Yes. Wonderful." Edith was forcing a smile, it looked painful. She had always hated the fact that I outranked her when we were children. She told me it made me stuck up, and made me be beneath her in all our games and activities. I had constantly worried about offending her, not wanting to be abandoned by my only close friend. Thus, even in public social situations I deferred to her, which only increased rumors that I didn't understand proper etiquette.

This lifetime I held no such fear. I had very little use for rank and the nobility, preferring to spend my time with the people I worked with instead of my so called "peers", but if reminding her of the difference in our status made Edith a little uncomfortable… I was willing to use what I had.

"Open it!" I pointed at the box, watching her face pale as she did and saw the baby blue gown.

"I CAN'T WEAR THIS!" She shouted, dropping the box.

"…" I watched silently, smiling. I had suspected she was the one to arrange the fire powder trap of my gown, but having it confirmed gave me a sense of relief.

"EDITH!" Her mother shrieked, picking up the box with an apologetic glance at me. "Lady Lenora came all this way on her birthday to bring YOU a gift, from an exclusive shop! How dare you embarrass me this way?!"

I shook my head, pretending to look sad. "If she doesn't like it, I'm happy to take it back…"

The countess panicked. "No, don't you worry, my daughter is very grateful for your present! She's just… shocked! I'll ensure she wears it tonight! Thank you so much!" She shoved the box in her daughter's arms, hissing under her breath. "thank her!"

Edith looked at me, and slowly, a cold calculating expression came over her face. "I'll gladly wear your present tonight, Lenora. Thank you so much."

My smile never wavered. "You are very welcome."

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I got into the carriage, and Maline greeted me, looking confused. "I don't know why you gave her the dress."

I shrugged, "After she tried to embarrass me, it was the least I could do."

"But you could have just worn it yourself, you already washed off the fire powder!"

"Yes, I did… but she doesn't know that."

Maline thought it over, grinning. "Do you think she'll still wear it?"

"Oh yes, I could see it on her face. She's planning to wear it, and when the fire powder does its work, blame me for playing a cruel trick on her."

"But there isn't any fire powder."

"Exactly. Nothing to blame on me, and all the mental anguish she'll suffer waiting for it to take effect is entirely her own fault. " I laughed at the thought

"It's a devious plan, girl." Maline patted me on the arm, grinning. "I'm glad I'm on your side."

We fell into silence, moving towards the shop. "Why does she hate you so much, anyways?"

"I never knew… I guess she wants what I have, but it's not enough to simply take it… she wants me to regret ever having it in the first place." I stared out the carriage window, my thoughts on another life.

"What a terrible girl."

"That's what friends are though, right?" I glanced back at her. "Just people who pretend to care, all the while waiting for you to make a mistake so they can take everything from you."

"…" A complicated expression on her face, Maline reached out, pulling me into her arms.

"Hey!" I struggled briefly but she simply hugged tighter until I gave up.

"They've tried their best to break you, child, haven't they?"

"What are you…?"

"But you're not lost yet. You'll learn to trust again." She patted my head, and finally let me go. "Now let's get to the shop quickly girl, we only have a few hours and I still have to finish the hem on your replacement dress!"

"I can help." I offered, trying to put my hair back into place from where she'd ruffled it.

Maline smiled. "Oh I was counting on that! Birthday or not, I'm putting you to work!"

We laughed at that, and headed to the store to get me ready for the party.

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I stepped into the ballroom, accompanied by my parents, breathing a sigh of relief. It had been an uncomfortable carriage ride over, as my mother had glared at me the entire trip, my father staring uncomfortably out the window. I had done my best to pretend that neither of them was there, thinking through my plans for the party ahead, instead.

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"Thank you for coming to my party, Your Highness!" I curtsied, stumbling slightly with the motion, too excited to feel overly embarrassed about the mistake.

"Yes, Mother insisted I come." Ronan looked around, searching for someone, not bothering to wish me a happy birthday. I felt a shard of anxiety pierce through my happy mood, the smile slipping from my face.

It's okay. I told myself, straightening my shoulders which had slumped with disappointment. He's here to celebrate your birthday! He must care.

And at the very least we would get to dance together!

I trailed behind him, trusting, naïve. It was my sixteenth birthday.

What could go wrong?

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A grim smile crossed my face as we excited the carriage. I had been naïve then. I thought others would care about me, want me to be happy.

I knew better now

We were announced as we entered the ballroom at the palace and a stir came across the crowd that had already arrived. The Queen walked over to greet me, a large smile on her face.

"Happy Birthday, Dear!" She hugged me tightly, pulling back only slightly to look at my dress. "You look amazing!"

Maline had outdone herself for my replacement gown. A pale silver, almost white, with a full skirt trimmed with golden lace, it glittered in the lights of the ballroom. The bodice had been delicately embroidered, with complex beading along the waist. I had been shocked when I first saw it, having only asked for a simple gown as a replacement as it was such short notice. When I protested the amount of work Maline had put into it, however, she simply smiled.

"Consider it a birthday gift, dear." She had been so pleased with herself, I couldn't help but share her excitement.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." I curtsied, grinning a little at her point at my polite language. She turned next to my mother, her smile completely gone.

"Thank you for coming, Seline."

My mother forced a pleasant expression. "No, thank you for going to all this trouble just for my daughter, Your Majesty." She glanced over at me, "You shouldn't have." Her tone was disparaging.

"Nonsense!" The Queen reached out and pulled me close to her, and further away from my mother. "Lenora is like a daughter to me, and I would never let anything happen to her!" Her voice seemed to contain a warning, but I realized I must have imagined it.

After all, there was no reason for the Queen to care if my mother and I didn't get along.

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She led me away without giving my mother a chance to answer, whispering in my ear. "Ronan should be here soon, dear, I'm so sorry he's late to the party. I'll talk to him."

"It's fine, I don't mind." I meant my words whole-heartedly. The only good thing about Ronan's existence was that our engagement provided me with the opportunity to finish paying my family's debt and advertise my gowns to grow my business. As for anything else… I preferred if he was elsewhere.

I looked around the room, catching sight of Edith in the corner. She was shifting back and forth, as if trying to move enough to sweat. Her expression was slightly confused, as she kept adjusting the dress as if to sit it better against her skin. A couple of people were already staring, curious about her antics. I thanked the queen once more and headed over, putting on my most innocent expression.

"Edith!" I threw my arms around the girl, hugging her. "I'm so glad you're here! And you wore my present!" I clapped my hands, pretending to be delighted. "Please tell me, it's not uncomfortable is it?! I was very careful in giving them your sizes back from the last time we went shopping… do you like it?"

She did look very pretty in the dress, but the overall effect was ruined by her constant shifting. People around us were whispering, likely wondering why the daughter of a count was being rude to someone above her station, especially a favorite of the queen. Edith noticed this and forced herself to stand still, her smile stiff and unnatural.

"The dress is beautiful." She was obviously unsure as to whether I knew about the fire dust, and kept studying me closely, hoping to read my intentions.

Amateur, trying to read someone who worked as a spy on the streets. I kept my stance casual and my smile calm. Finally she gave up, seeming to believe I knew nothing.

"Are you looking forward to dancing with the prince?" She asked, her eyes flashing with satisfaction.

I wonder if she knows what he is planning? "Of course!" I answered loudly for the benefit of her and those listening in around us. "He is my fiancé after all. I miss him terribly whenever we are apart."

Edith's face briefly spasmed with jealousy at the word "fiancé" but she quickly regained her composure. "Well just do your best! I would be so nervous if I were you, all those people watching? What if you stumbled?!" She pretended to be anxious for me. "It would be so embarrassing!"

Was she always so obvious? I wondered, watching her antics. Was I really so naïve that I thought this vicious girl wanted me to be happy?

Before I could answer, however, new arrivals to the party were announced.

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"His Royal Highness, Prince Ronan!" The footman called out, hesitating for a moment. "And… guest."

Surprised, I turned towards the door, only to see Nate trail in behind Ronan with a grin and a wave.

That's strange, he didn't come to my party in my first life. Shrugging mentally, I moved up towards Ronan and Nate, dropping into a perfectly performed curtsy.

"Thank you for coming to my party, Your Highness." My tone was polite, without expressing any enthusiasm.

"Yes, Mother…" He began to say the same words he said the last time, but I interrupted him, pointing.

"The Queen? She's right over there. She was looking for you earlier, so you may want to go greet her."

Confused, Ronan moved towards his mother, searching the crowd as he walked. I idly wondered what he would make of Edith's pacing and shifting as she tried to activate the powder, before turning to Nate with a grin.

"What brings you here?" I paused. "And why did they introduce you as just 'guest?"

He spread his hands helplessly. "Must not be important enough." His gaze shifted as he spoke, a clear tell that he was lying, but I let it pass. We had both been careful not to discuss his background in all the time we had spent together. He felt uncomfortable for some reason and I… well I thought it was better not to know more about him. It was safer.

"Happy Birthday." He reached out his hand to shake mine, reminding me of when he first asked to be friends. I took it briefly, surprised when he handed me a folded up paper with the gesture.

"What is…"

"Shh. I'll tell you later." He looked mischievous, which only increased my curiosity, but I simply tucked the paper in a hidden pocket, nodding.

"I hope you'll do me the honor of saving me a dance tonight?"

At his invitation, my first thought to refuse, but after a brief consideration of the events that were to happen shortly, a plan formed in my mind. Feeling impulsive, I grinned. "Only if you do me a favor…"

As I told him what I wanted, he laughed out loud. "Really, you always surprise me! It's so new in Tilendria, and I wouldn't have thought it would have made it over here yet."

"Do you doubt me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He lifted his hands in defeat. "I would never dare to. I'll talk to the musicians and see what I can do. Perhaps after your first dance with your fiancé." A strange look crossed his face at the last word, but it passed so quickly I thought I imagined it.

"Don't remind me." I waved goodbye, and walked away, moving towards where the Queen and Ronan were speaking.

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The party had gone on for over an hour, but no one was dancing yet. Traditionally I had to open the first dance, and since I was engaged, it had to be with Prince Ronan. I stood off to the side, watching him hopefully, but he ignored me, drinking. People started whispering, their gazes in my direction ranging from pitying to annoyed. I felt my face turn red, but didn't know what else to do.

Finally, the Queen, furious, scolded Ronan and he reluctantly walked towards me, holding out his hand to take mine. I forced a smile, trying not to cry, and took his hand.

At least we would get to dance together.

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I wasted no time, walking straight for Ronan, a polite smile glued into place.

"Ready to dance?" I asked him, enjoying his shock at my forwardness.

Technically I should wait for him to ask me. If I wanted to be perfectly polite, I should stand in the corner, waiting for him to deign to ask me to dance, despite it being required of both of us. Being impatient, being aggressive, neither were considered very ladylike.

I couldn't be bothered. I had spent a lifetime of waiting for things to happen to me.

This time, I would make things happen myself.

"I wanted to get a drink first…" Ronan was trying to weasel out of it, obviously uncomfortable that I had ruined his plan to embarrass me by delaying the first dance.

The Queen frowned at his words. "That would be very rude to the other guests, you two have to open up the dancing or no one else can. Get your drink after."

She and I smiled at each other and before he could protest I grabbed his hand, pulling him to the center of the ballroom. He jerked his hand from mine, but we were already in place, the music starting. Without a choice, he grabbed my hand and my waist, preparing to lead the dance. My skin crawled at the contact.

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Prince Ronan refused to talk the entire dance. Stiff, nervous, I stumbled a few times, but the prince was worse, stepping on my feet, throwing me off balance. At the very end of the dance his weight suddenly shifted completely to the right side, his foot slipping beneath mine.

I fell to the floor, bringing the prince down with me.

"YOU CLUMSY COW!" He shouted, jumping to his feet with a red face. "How is a man supposed to dance with you?!"

"I-I'm so sorry!" The words could barely be forced out through the tears. How could I have been so worthless at dancing?! I had practiced for hours and hours, trying to perfect it, terrified of disappointing the prince, the queen… my mother.

I looked over to the side of the room, only to see her deathly glare, and I felt like crying once more.

I moved to the side of the room, and no one dared speak to me. The Queen came over, trying to comfort me, but seeing the Prince dance with other girls, the movements smooth and perfect, I couldn't help but make my excuses and run to a back room.

It was all my fault. If only I had worked harder, been better…

Then he would love me, right?

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The memories of my previous sixteenth birthday crowded my head, making me feel slightly ill. How could I have thought that I could do anything to make these wretched people care for me?

No.

I wouldn't give them the opportunity to hurt me this time.

As the dance progressed Ronan tried to step on my toes, but I always shifted away, keeping the dance flowing, to his increasing frustration.

"So how are your horses, Your Highness?" I asked, trying to distract him.

"They're fine." He grumbled, still focusing on trying to trip me.

I sighed. How determined is this boy to embarrass me? It wasn't as if I was the one forcing us to be engaged. I eventually got him to talk about his hunting exploits, giving me a short break from avoiding having my feet stepped on.

As the end of the dance approached, I felt him tense up again. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

Here it is.

At the last step, I let go of him, stepping back to curtsy. Surprised, the foot he had put out to trip me moved unimpeded, throwing off his balance and causing him to fall to the floor.

"YOU CLUMSY…!" He started to shout, likely embarrassed that he had fallen and I hadn't. But he didn't get the chance to finish his words.

"OH NO!" I interrupted him, pretending to look upset. "Did you trip, Your Highness?" I put on an embarrassed expression, "I had already stepped away to curtsey, so I wasn't able to hold you up." I curtsied once more. "My apologies."

Prince Ronan stared at me, his face red. He couldn't claim I tripped him, I was clearly nowhere near him by the time he fell. And if he yelled at me now that I had already apologized needlessly, he would look petty. Unsure of what to do, he muttered some unintelligible words of acceptance and stalked off to find a drink.

I moved back to stand beside the Queen, who was shaking her head. "I think I'll need to send him back to the dance instructor." She mumbled, rubbing her head. "He looked like a drunken fool wobbling around out there next to you." She patted my shoulder. "Your dancing was beautiful, dear, don't blame yourself."

"He doesn't think so." I pointed in the prince's direction. He was already complaining loudly about how clumsy and poor of a dancer I was. So unimaginative.

The Queen was furious. "That little…! I'm so sorry, Lenora, let me go straighten him out."

Although I was curious to see what the determined appearing woman would do to him, I held out a hand, stopping her. "It's fine. I've made arrangements."

"What?" Even as she asked the question, Nate stepped up, practically dancing with excitement.

"There's a few Tilendrian musicians here tonight, and they can play what we need!"

I smiled. "Perfect."

The Queen looked between us, a small frown on her face. "Lenora, how do you know…?"

"Nate?" I interrupted. "We take lessons from Jim… from Mr. Hallers in the royal treasury together."

Before she could say anything else. Nate bowed deeply. "May I have this dance?

I took his hand. "Let's go."

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We moved out to the dance floor and took positions across from each other. Immediately, a much faster song than normal started up from the band, causing a commotion among the crowd. I wanted to laugh feeling excited.

The Literin.

The dance I had learned in my previous life for Prince Ronan's 18th birthday. The one I had spent weeks learning, striving to perfect, but never got to try as he had broken the engagement at the start of the party. It was a Tilendrian dance, newly invented, and wouldn't come over to our country another year or two. No one else here would know it yet, but since Nate was from Tilendria, I thought it would be worth asking. I had always wondered what it would be like to dance it, and now I no longer had to guess.

We moved around each other to the beats of the song, performing the intricate steps and motions, gracefully stepping closer and closer until our hands were almost touching, only to move apart again and again. The dance moved faster and faster, until the moment our hands clasped together, and then slowed into a soft, beautiful melody. We now moved together, and would stay hand and hand until the end of the dance.

It was supposed to symbolize the trials and eventual rewards of true love, but in truth it was no more than pretty steps and music. There was nothing deeper than that to it. I knew that better than anyone.

As we neared I finally asked him: "So what was on the paper you gave me?"

He grinned, slightly out of breath from the previous faster pace. "The contact information for a jeweler in Tilendria. He makes the most beautiful pieces and has been looking to expand his markets over the borders. He asked if I knew of any reliable stores that might be willing to sell his wares for a cut of the profits and I immediately thought of you."

I was shocked into silence for a few moments as we continued to move gracefully across the floor. It would be the perfect addition to my business, as many of my customers had asked for pieces to compliment to dresses we sold them.

I looked at his happy smile, feeling suspicious. "Why would you do this for me?"

He laughed. "First of all, it's your birthday. Second… it's really more of a favor to him, isn't it? Your business is going to keep expanding, and getting in with you early will make him a rich man. "

"…Thank you." I felt cheerful. The song came to a close and I ended the dance in a deep curtsey looking up at Nate who again was looking at me with the same strange expression he had given earlier. As if he were happy and sad at the same time.

I couldn't put a name on it, but suddenly I felt a pain in my chest and was afraid. Panicking, I stood up, thanked him again quickly and left, ignoring his confusion at my sudden change in mood. As I put more distance between us, I felt slightly better and let out a sigh of relief.

I couldn't let myself be distracted.

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I stood off to the side, looking for something to drink, only to have Hallers step out immediately to offer me a glass on a tray.

"You don't have to serve drinks, Hallers. You're a butler, not a footman." I was slightly confused. He had come along to ensure we had everything needed, but typically the personal servants stayed in the backroom until it was time to prepare for departure.

He grunted at my unspoken question. "I don't trust them to do things right, Miss. And it's your birthday, so things must be done right." Hallers didn't seem to mind that he had just insulted the world-class staff of the Royal palace, and so I didn't comment further other than to thank him.

Smiling, he simply stated. "Your dancing was beautiful, Miss." And stepped back towards the wall, moving silently and blending in the background.

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"Excuse me,"

Only a few moments later, a young man stepped up, a shy expression on his face. I recognized him as the son of the Duke, from the neighboring duchy and cutseyed as I greeted him.

"I was hoping to ask you for a dance… but I had a quick question first if you don't mind." He looked very embarrassed, and interested, I motioned for him to keep speaking.

"The Duchy of Armeny has just been improving so rapidly, I was wondering if your father had hired someone to help out, and if they had time to talk to anyone else." He spoke his question out in a rush. "I know I should ask your father but he ignored me and I wasn't sure who else to…"

I held up my hand, smiling reasuringly. "We didn't hire anyone."

"Oh." He looked disappointed. "Then how…?"

"I've taken over the day to day management of the Duchy, which is why you've noticed a change."

"…" There was a brief silence between us as he considered my words.

I expected him to laugh, or to call me a liar and walk away.

"THAT'S SPLENDID!" He shouted with excitement, smiling and turning to call over his friends. "RICHARD, NICHOLAS, COME HERE, IT'S LENORA WHO WE WERE LOOKING TO TALK TO! SHE'S THE ONE WHO FIXED THE DUCHY!"

I winced at his loud voice but couldn't help but chuckle as the entire group of young men descended, filled with questions about improving taxation and infrastructure their respective territories.

As we talked I noticed multiple people whispering while watching us, but they did not seem to be speaking maliciously. Nate and the Queen both smiled at me from opposite ends of the room, and Hallers stood in the corner at attention, the slightest hint of a proud grin on his face.

Only three people seemed unhappy. My mother, who drank consistently throughout the party, faked a smile and watched me with a furious gaze. Edith continued to walk back and forth, obviously confused as to why the fire powder had not activated yet. Finally there was Prince Ronan, who looked very upset that he was no longer the center of attention.

He watched our group moodily, drinking from his glass and after he drained it, threw it downwards. The fragile object flew, smashing loudly into pieces against the floor.

Our group, and the rest of the party fell silent at the sound, turning to stare at him. He had obviously done it as an impulse, a display of temper, but recovered in time for a sneer to start forming on his face.

"I want to dance…" He began to say, but I interrupted him once more with a smile.

"Forgive me, Your Highness, but this is a very important conversation and I can't dance right now."

He looked shocked. "I wasn't…!" He wasn't asking me, he wanted to say, but it was too late. I was already looking around the room.

"Is there any girl here who would be willing to dance with the prince in my place?"

There were a few moments of silence as the young women looked at the smashed glass on the floor, seeing his anger and not wanting to step forward. I saw Edith making her way quickly, a smile on her face, but before she could speak a word, someone else did.

"I would like to dance!" The Queen smiled graciously, grabbing her son and pulling him along. Edith stopped in her tracks, glaring at the her and stepping back.

I could see the Queen lecturing the prince rapidly, enjoying his crestfallen expression for few moments before returning to discuss economics with the group. A few of the women had joined now, curious, and I happily advised them as well.

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Once we had taken a break, I begged off dancing for the moment, stepping back to find Hallers. I noticed that he had cleaned up the broken glass, faster than anyone else could react, and wanted to thank him for it.

"No need to thank me." He smiled and bowed. "Just making sure things are up to standard."

I looked around the room, giving out a small sigh of satisfaction. To my surprise, the night had been fun, getting the chance to dance and talk and celebrate. I felt a pang of sadness for the young girl I had once been. Who had run away, embarrassed and defeated.

"I'll change it this time." I promised myself quietly.

"What was that, Miss?"

"Nothing."

"Are you having a good birthday?" He asked, surprising me.

I couldn't help it, I grinned. "It's been almost perfect."

"Almost?"

Splash.

Likely desperate to activate the powder so that she could complain about my "gift", Edith spilled water on her gown. She stood there, her expression changing rapidly from triumphant to angry as nothing happened, and I turned away laughing

"Well, now it's perfect."

I was sixteen.

Two years left until my engagement was broken.

I would be ready.