Rhi

The blinding light from the large ceiling to floor widows in the NCIU is what wakes me up but I pretend to still be sleeping when Jaclyn comes in to wake me up. "Wake up, sleepyhead, you've got a group meeting in less than half an hour," she informs and I mutter a thanks before wrapping my comforter around me and walking back to my assigned room.

It doesn't take long to throw on something to wear, everything has become bigger and it fills me with a sense of happiness. I take the scrunchy out of my hair and let the coils fall around my face but I do keep the scrunchy on my arm incase my hair gets too unruly. I notice the blind in room 505 has been drawn shut and I tap on the glass before Abby draws it open. I lift up my iPad for her to read what's on the screen before I say it aloud, "blinds up, we're in it together." That has been our saying since forever and it concerned me that she'd shut the blind but when I saw what she had been doing I realize why, she had been wrapping clean bandages around her wrists. I watched her throw on a hoodie on top and we met outside to walk to 'Group' together.

. . .

"So you should've gotten your timetables yesterday but we had a clash of times for two CFers so we had to change everything," Dr. Perez said as he sat on a chair in the middle of the circle we were forced to sit in which was meticulously arranged so that no CFers were remotely near each other. "That means you have a semi-free day today. We're just gonna do two group therapy sessions today and you guys can have the rest of the time to yourselves. The first session will start now and the other will be organized later," he informed and the teens all listened intently.

No offense or anything but I didn't really understand why the teenage CF patients were getting therapy, it didn't seem like they needed it. But maybe they needed it so they could come to terms with what they're illness meant to their livelihood. My thoughts were interrupted when Christina, one of the nurses, handed me a typed timetable with my name at the top in fancy calligraphy. I skimmed through it and when my eyes caught onto his name they immediately flickered to where he sat in the circle to find him already staring at me. I glared at him, hoping that he didn't play a hand in making sure I was in nearly all my classes with him.

"Now since you've got those, find the person who you're mostly paired with in your academic classes and get paired with them now," Dr Perez said, the big fatty was probably getting a good kick out of this. The teens followed his instructions and I found myself sitting next to Artemis. "Now we're going to sit opposite to our partners and we're gonna tell each other why we are here and what you'd like to make different by the time you leave here," the man instructed again. "While you do that I'll be handing these out," he paused to lift the friendship bracelet making boxes up and then continued, "for your next instruction."

Artemis was the one who moved to sit in front of me. And he huffed out a breathe once he'd moved his oxygen tank to be right beside him. "As you can see I'm here on account of CF which is quite a pestering disease," he said nonchalantly and I really hoped that he didn't think we'd be sharing life stories just because Dr Perez said to do so. "Oh, I really can't change much unless I get new lungs but what are those worth if their shelf-life is only five years and then I'll be back to this again," he added and I raised my brow at him. He really did expect me to say something, to say anything but what could I say, that I was suicidal and anorexic and had PTSD.

"I'm here on account of my psychological issues. As for change, I don't want much, I'm happy as I am," I said shortly. He really couldn't expect much from me, I barely knew the boy.

A box was placed between us before we could say anything else and then Dr Perez spoke again, "you have a friendship bracelet making kit box and you're now going to make a friendship bracelet that will help your partner go through their hospital experience, no matter how long it is. This is like their token or beacon at times of darkness so make it count."

Artemis struggled with the box before I took it from him and opened it up. He gave me a lopsided smile and I couldn't help but smile back. I showed him the basics of what to do and soon we were doing it with a comfortable silence between us. I finished first between us two, being the ultimate boss at friendship bracelets. Artemis struggled a bit but the bracelet looked good when you disregarded the large knot that he had tried to tie perfectly more than once but failed epically at the end.

"Now hand over the bracelet to the rightful owner but before you do get your phones out and get the camera rolling to capture their reaction," Dr Perez spoke from somewhere in the large room, probably having sat down because he was tired.

We did as told and I handed the bracelet first to Artemis. He looked intently at the letters I'd put together to form one word and he burst out laughing, a full blown laugh. His head tilted back, his eyes screwed shut and they began tearing up at the corners– he looked handsome, beautiful even. "Breathe? Really?" He asked between laughter and although the room was filled with lost of laughter and joy, his laughter was the loudest to my ears. "At least I know you've got a sense of humor somewhere in there," he finally said after he had gotten his laughing under control.

He handed me the bracelet he'd made for me. "I know it's not as perfect as yours but it's something I really worked hard on," he said with his eyes looking deeply into mine. I nodded and just took the bracelet from him. I looked past the awkward colour co-ordination and the words written there were beyond anything I'd thought he'd ever say or imply.

"You're never alone," I read the words softly aloud, slowly drinking them all in. I looked up at him and he shrugged again with his lopsided smile and his disheveled hair fell into his eyes. I couldn't think of anything else to say so I quickly put the bracelet on my empty arm and flung myself over the empty space to hug him, when I realized what I was doing I pulled away and gave him a awkward smile, "that doesn't mean I like you in the slightest."

He laughed.

"Now I want you to exchange videos and keep them, keep them as a remind that someone once made you truly happy just by making you a bracelet and that you once made someone truly happy and that that's all that really matters, happiness," Dr Perez says before dismissing us and leaving us in the room.

I looked over at him, something was definitely up with him. He wasn't acting this way yesterday, something had definitely changed and I didn't really want to find out so I did what I do best; got away from him to avoid the situation. "It was cool," I said as I stood up and walked away from him and to Rya who had been paired with some guy from the cancer ward.

"Rhi, this is Paul," Rya said enthusiastic as she introduced me to her new found friend. I tried to have the same enthusiasm but I couldn't because my mind was still on Artemis.

But it didn't stay that way for long because time ticked by and we soon had to go have breakfast at 08:00. If it was still this early what time were we even woken up?

I made my way to the cafeteria and took the smallest portions of food possible; a small amount of muesli and vegetarian yogurt as well as a bottle of water. I avoided sitting in the dining hall so I went to sit outside to avoid the stares I'd get for eating so little. But just when I thought I was alone I heard the familiar crunch of leaves under a heavy boot and I just knew that when I turned I'd meet his eyes. He shrugged and I looked at him a bit longer before going back to eating breakfast. He said nothing but just sat there with me and although I saw how his eyes stared longer than necessary at my food he didn't make a comment and I appreciated that.

After I was done I disappeared to go burn off all the fat I'd probably gained from that breakfast. I did a few meters on the treadmill before deciding that a full body work out would be too hard so I settled on doing the shortcut, swimming. I swam laps upon laps until my arms and legs ached from diving through the water, until my lungs were labored and until my breathing came out in small gasp. That's when I finally pulled myself out of the water to take a quick breather but I decided against going back in when I saw Artemis walking towards the room the swimming pool was in. I quickly dried myself and slung my duffle bag over my shoulder but before I could duck out of the room he was inside so I just hid behind a corner.

He was dressed in his famous black boots, and the clothes he was in when I'd seen him this morning. Without any hesitation he stepped into the pool and he continued until he was standing on the pool floor. Then he began to walk to the deeper side with his oxygen tank, his very heavy oxygen tank, still in his hand until the water completely covered his head. Then he'd stopped walking standing there and the water stopped rippling as it became still. I watched all this from my hiding place. I expected him to come up after a minute but he didn't, after the second minute I'd began to start worrying as I came out of my hiding spot and placed my bags down. I waited a little longer and there still was no sign of him re-emerging so I dove into the water without a second thought and started pulling him out starting with his heavy oxygen tank.

When he was finally out of the water completely he started coughing and sputtering while he tried to sit up from his lying position. "What the hell was that?!" I yelled at him without warning. He looked up at me, a little dazed before the daze cleared up. "Were you trying to die?!" I asked, my voice going even higher.

"Calm down I was just having some fun and trying to see how long I'd last in there," he said pausing to look at his watch before continuing, "and I would've made it to 3 minutes if you hadn't interrupted."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you know how many CF teenagers would be happy to take your place in this trial, but you wanna throw your life away just like that. Are you fucking kidding me!" I yelled out and I saw him visibly flinch when I had thrown profanities at him. I was livid and I wanted to slap him across the face for his foolishness but I kept my distance. "What is it? Are you thrill seeking? Are you trying to be a rebel just to prove that you've still got control over your life?" I asked but before he could speak I went to speak again. "Well, honestly you've lost all your control to CF and no matter what you do to try and convince yourself otherwise, it will always control and dictate your life," I said before huffing out a breathe.

"Look," he said pausing to stand and turn around before continuing, "I'm fine. I was just trying to have some fun but if it's such a big deal to you, I'm sorry."

He didn't mean it, I could see right through him and I yelled some more at him but when his eyes finally held a look of remorse that's when I knew that he actually meant it . He looked worried that I'd probably pass out from the amount of yelling I'd done without breathing and he tried to reach out for me but I couldn't understand what I was feeling so I turned away before grabbing my duffle bag and towel and walking out of the room.

I couldn't decipher my own feelings as I stomped my way through the hospital until I reached my room. I tossed the duffle bag onto the floor the moment I walked in and I collapsed onto the floor with a frustrated sigh. I didn't understand why I cared for the rebellious boy and further more I didn't understand why I had even saved him at all.

I'd forgotten completely that i had no such privacy because of the glass separating my room with Abby's. I looked up when I heard a tapping on the glass. Abby held up her iPad to show me her unspoken words. I nodded before mouthing that I was fine. Abby wasn't satisfied because after a few minutes I moved to open the door for her as she walked in with two tubs of ice cream. Hopefully I could shuffle through my feelings and make sense of them.