Dream Five, Chapter Sixteen

(Anything in asterisks is meant to be italicized.)

Barrons had told Christian to meet us at the bookstore in an hour to give me time to finish throwing up and brush my teeth. I had gone out and gotten a second tooth brush and managed to scrounge up a second tube of toothpaste to keep in the lair after the first morning, while also seeing what maternity clothes were still left in abandoned stores. He'd given Kat the same message, telling Christian to pick her up. They were instructed to come back to Barrons's study.

I was wonderfully surprised to see that Kat had brought her daughter Rae with her. She held a very special place in my heart for having healed my father when Winter had abducted and poisoned him in an effort to get me to hand over the remaining elixir that had made the Fae immortal. Rae curtsied to me, having insisted upon learning how, before I scooped her up into a hug.

"Mac," I had insisted she call me that, "if you're the queen, why don't you wear a crown? Don't you have one?"

"Of course I do," I told her. "I just keep it in Faery and I only wear it for very special occasions."

"Will you take me to Faery with you someday?" she whispered slyly in my ear. "Da won't take me even though I'm half Fae." The kid was smart. My guess was no one had expressly told her that, but at six years old she had already figured it out. "I promise I'll be good."

"Someday," I assured her because it was her birthright, "when you're a bit older and if your mom and dad say it's okay, I'll take you on a tour of Faery myself. But you'd have to pinky swear to stay right by my side." Dani and I had convinced her it was the most solemnest of vows. "Faery can be a dangerous place and parents worry about their kids because they love them."

Some things you just know for a fact without being able to fully understand them or needing to. Parents worry out of love. I knew that. Planes fly. Knew that, too. I didn't understand how, but I knew planes fly usually without incident. Something to do with lift, I think. You worry about someone because you care about them. What I didn't understand yet was how deeply parents can worry about their children. Barrons once hacked my laptop and responded to emails from my parents when I was in Faery.

Before I sang the Song of Making and basically hit a reset button to restore the earth's magic, time in Faery had been unpredictable. Dani was gone from earth for less than two months; it was five and a half years for her. Christian was missing for a few months, but spent years lost in the Silvers. My first trip to Faery had only been a few hours, a single afternoon, for me. When I got back, Barrons informed me I had been missing for over a month. I was both grateful and deeply upset he had done that when he told me. I would eventually only be grateful.

"When is someday?" She wanted a firm commitment. Again, smart as a whip.

"We'll discuss it when you turn seven." When her parents said no, I would tell her we would discuss it again when she turned eight and so on until Sean and Kat said yes. Time is unbearable for kids and seems to drag on for forever, but she'd always have something to look forward to. I also wasn't taking her there without their permission. Hopefully they'd okay it when she's a teenager so she doesn't spend her entire childhood yearning to return. As I'd hoped, it was enough of a firm commitment for her.

"Pinky swear?" She was still whispering in my ear conspiratorially.

I grinned and entwined my pinky with her little one. "Pinky swear."

When I put her down, Kat said, "Rae, why don't you go play with the lemurs?" The little girl curtsied again at the door before skipping away. "Mac, what did you just promise her?"

"I promised her we could discuss her coming with me to visit Faery when she turns seven." When Kat looked horrified—she clutched the crucifix she wore around her neck—I quickly said, "I never promised her I would take her, just that we would discuss it. Kat, I agree she's far too young to visit Faery, but I will fight for her to visit when she's older. It's her birthright. And when she does visit, I told her I'd take her on a tour myself and that she'd have to pinky swear to never leave my side. She'll be perfectly safe with of us."

*I'm not a babysitter, Ms. Lane*, Barrons sent along our connection.

*She won't be a little kid anymore. And Masdann's is the only court you ever let me visit without you so of course you're coming with.*

*That's because Masdann is the only trustworthy member of your bloody courts.*

*You're just saying that because he was made from your essence. Sean and Christian are trustworthy, too. As is Inspector Jayne.*

*To an extent, yes. But if it came down between choosing you and Kat and Rae or you and Lyryka or you and Jayne's family, they'd choose their women and children. Masdann has pledged his undying loyalty to you.*

*I thought you hated words*, I purred back sweetly.

*I do. They're dangerous. Don't think I didn't notice how you evaded promising to take Rae to Faery. I don't need his pledge to know he'll forever remain loyal to you. A part of my essence resides in him. That's all I need to know where your safety is concerned.*

"Ahem." Kat cleared her throat. Neither her nor Christian heard any part of our conversation but knew we were having one.

"Sorry," I quickly muttered before I hugged Kat in greeting. She regarded me with those cool grey eyes and I did my best to hide whatever distress and worry and fear I was feeling, although I was pretty sure she had felt them the moment she had entered my bookstore with her *sidhe*-seer gift of emotional empathy.

I immediately turned to Christian who bowed to his queen in greeting, saying, "Mac."

"Christian," I said with a nod and a smile. It was good to see them both, especially since I had been avoiding people for the past several weeks.

He turned to Barrons and extended his hand. There was a grin on his Highlander face. "Barrons."

"Not your fucking tribe," he growled, but he still shook Christian's hand.

Christian turned back to me and said, "You summoned us?"

"We have a bit of a problem," I said, wincing a little. Barrons shot me a look that I ignored. I took a deep breath before I said, "I'm pregnant." Both looked slightly stunned for a moment before their faces lit up and they began to congratulate us.

"What's the problem?" Kat asked.

"It shouldn't be possible," I told her before quickly summarizing my dream and implying children weren't something that was supposed to be possible.

"Who's is it?" Christian asked, understanding what I had implied. It took Kat a moment to grasp it.

"Mine," Barrons growled and I quickly explained how certain we were of that.

"Aye, I could see how that could complicate things," Christian said with a nod. "That still doesn't explain why you've summoned us."

"Kat, I need a midwife," I told her. "Specifically someone I know I can trust. I know it's a lot to ask and you've got less than a year to learn, but do you think you could learn whatever you need to learn in time to deliver a baby?"

"Och, and you do ask a lot," she said softly. "I don't know, Mac. There could be any number of complications I wouldn't be prepared for."

"All you'd have to worry about is keeping the baby alive," I reminded her. "Childbirth can't kill me. We think. We're pretty sure. Please, Kat. We found a doctor who was able to verify I was pregnant and can do all of the necessary pregnancy checkups, but we need someone we already know we can trust to deliver the baby."

"I can try, Mac," she said with some determination. "But you might want to have that doctor on standby just in case."

"Thank you," I gushed as I hugged her again, feeling another weight lifting.

"Please don't tell me you want me to assist," Christian said warily. There was a rattle in Barrons's chest and I shot him a look.

"Definitely not," I assured him. "I need information. No one knows the Seelie better than the Keltar. Any history you have on births among Fae royalty."

"I can see what I can find out," he said hesitantly. "But you also have Fae records from the True Magic, don't you?"

"Yes, but too many to navigate. Not to mention I don't actually have the entirety of the Fae history and the Light court no longer have those memories. There's only one person who now has a thorough knowledge and understanding of the entirety of Fae history from the Fae perspective."

"No," he immediately said. "We promised her her freedom and I swore an oath to protect her. I'm including her freedom in that oath."

We'd been afraid of this response so Barrons had reactivated the wards that prevented anyone from sifting in or out of the bookstore, excluding me by working my blood into them.

When Christian tried to leave through the door, he found an immovable, obdurate mountain of a man blocking his way. Christian regarded him icily and the temperature started to drop. "If that was Mac out there, you'd make the same call."

"If that were Mac out there, I wouldn't be here to make that call," Barrons said softly.

Christian hadn't gone with Lyryka as she explored so she could truly feel free, despite the fact that it was evident to everyone he had fallen in love with her and she was enamored with him.

It was a bit of a low blow.

I warmed the area around me as Kat moved further away from Christian before saying, "We're in uncharted waters, Christian. She's free to return to her travels as soon as I have the answers I need."

"And if she can't provide you with the answers you need?" He was talking over his shoulder.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm not going to punish her if that's what you're suggesting."

"It wasn't."

"Then she'll still be free to return to her explorations. No harm done."

He bristled as he rounded on me, his voice filled with quiet fury. "Just because you're the bloody Queen of the Fae doesn't mean the world revolves around you, Mac. The rest of us have needs, too. You can't do something just because it amuses or pleases you."

Another low blow. He was more or less comparing me to what the Fae used to be.

"Mac can do whatever the bloody fuck she wants, queen or otherwise," Barrons said softly. I shot him a graphic image of how I would later thank him for always defending me. I received a look that made me bite my lip and almost go weak in the knees.

"I've written her a note," I said after I gave him a minute to calm down. Or maybe to calm myself down. "It says that I need her help and I'm requesting she temporarily return. And that you'll be picking her up and bringing her here five minutes after I send it."

He looked positively mutinous.

"She's never been here before, Christian! Would you prefer she hurt herself when she hits the wards by trying to come directly into the bookstore?"

He finally let me send the note fifteen minutes later.