Chapter 10: Little Crumbs of Pain

There was always choice A and choice B. Humans as we are, we live by the tons of choices we make everyday. The problem is, oftentimes, choice B forces us to choose A. That's why people often say 'I had no choice' and did what was formerly offered to them. The thing about choices is it's not limited to B. And creating choice C was Rebecca's specialty.

The sky was awfully clear. Birds chirped in every corner of the woods. It's midday but the scorching heat could not pierce the thick forest we're trudging in. I was walking behind the pack with a huge backpack hanging on my back and a travel bag on my one hand. I was carrying mine and Rebecca's for she had to carry Elvira on her arms whose lungs can't tolerate vigorous walking. She's a sickly one since day one. Alvin on the other hand, seemed to have unlimited stock of energy while walking and jumping and humming and smiling during the thirty-minute walk we just had without showing no signs of exhaustion. I'm starting to think this child was born an adventurer. But he had many years head of him. I once thought I was but look at me now.

"We're almost there, darling." I heard Rebecca said to Elvira.

Mike was walking ahead of us with Alvin beside him. As I peaked to look at them both, I saw a clearing ahead of them. We have finally arrived our destination.

"Mom! Hurry! We're here!" Alvin shouted and happily ran out of the woods.

"Alvin, be careful!" Rebecca shouted to her son who already appeared out of her sight. Mike was on his tail so she had nothing to worry about.

"Ate," I called her before we stepped out of the forest.

She stopped. When she truned around, her face looked stunned. Any longer and her tears will start welling up so, I spoke immediately.

"We're finally here. I hope you don't forget your words the moment we leave this place a week from now," I said and walked past her.

"Raffy," Rebecca called.

I just got home from the office. And I figured she, too, just got back from school. She was sitting at the couch still wearing her uniform. Her bag and other stuffs were on the glass table. She looked me in the eye looking serious so, I waited nothing and sat across her.

As soon as I sat, she spoke.

"When you were ten, father left us. Five years after, mother followed him. I wasn't ready to be an orphan at twenty-one. Nor to stand as your parent but I miraculously managed becoming one," she began.

I stayed quiet and allowed her to continue.

"I wasn't fine but I never failed to show that I am. I would smile and tell you everything will be okay. Never would've thought that you were doing the same. If it wasn't that one time I caught you crying in the middle of the night... I wouldn't have known," she recalled and then smiled at me.

I want to cut her off and stop this nonsense trip to memory lane but I couldn't seem to mouth the right words.

"When your friend died five years ago, I wasn't aware of what you were going through. I heard you cry again, but that time I have no idea why. Then, Danica told me everything. If not for—"

"Stop!" I shouted. But I was surprised to hear my voice so frail and broken. I started feeling the water on my cheeks, too.

"J-just... get to the point, Rebecca," I firmly said to her.

She sighed and directly looked me in the eye.

"I will leave this house as you wished but not until you agreed to see Dr. Echavez."

I sat in the living room with my eyes baffled as I stared at my sister. Questions erupted my mind. Disbelief filled my heart. And all my eyes could do is throw puzzled stares at my sister whose spouting nonsense.

"Raffy..."

"I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

She didn't answer.

"Since when?"

Still, she stayed quiet.

I was clenching my teeth to keep myself from erupting in anger. I inhaled deeply and stood up as I gave her the answer that she wanted so badly.

The fresh air rustling from the forest flew swiftly past the small strands of my hair. As I walked closer to the small house, Grandma was sitting on her rocking chair at the terrace with a wide smile on her lips. I saw Alvin taking her hand and lightly tapped it on his head as a sign of respect. Mike did the same.

Grandma's house was a cute bungalow. She loved traditional Filipino houses so there was hardly any concrete on it but dominated by bamboos and sturdy looking woods. It was surrounded by her well-taken care garden full of different species of plants and flowers. The house exudes a unique ambience that you wouldn't get from anywhere. It's hard to find the right words but the closer one is it felt like a real home.

"Good afternoon, Grandma," I greeted her and paid my respects like what Alvin did earlier.

"My dear Raphaela, why do you look so tired?" she asked, her voice gentle as the breeze brushing our skin.

"Good afternoon, Grandma," Rebecca greeted and paid her redpects. So did as Elvira.

"Ah, my lovely Rebecca. How are you? Who is this beautiful little one?"

"This is Elvira, Grandma. I named her after you."

Grandma smiled while looking at Elvira. Since we left the house, Elvira only smiled at this moment while looking at her great grandmother.

Fo someone who lived more than half of her life, Grandma looked young and healthy. The smile adorning her wrinkled face could lift up anyone's lips. Her movements were incomparable to that on her prime but it was better than most elderly at her age.

We had a simple lunch and light conversations mostly about catching up with each other's lives. Grandma was living well with her husband, our dear Grandpa, who's strong enough to sail and catch fish. He wasn't able to join us because he was conserving energy for tonight when he sails out again.

Grabdma's house may seem small from the outside but it had enough room to house the entire family. Although it was only her and Grandpa living this house, she mentioned about intentionally adding two rooms for the time will come when the whole family will visit. Rebecca, Mike, and the kids got the bigger room for themselves while I got the other one for myself.

As I settled in my room, I couldn't help but compare Grandma and Grandpa from the old people I've seen and met in the city. They were stronger and healthier which the environment here made a huge contribution on making sure of that. They eat fish and the vegetables from the garden. Rare was the food filled with a smorgasbord of preservatives and food coloring.

As I finished unpacking my things, a strong wind suddenly blew the window where it was left ajar and the curtains made graceful movements. I stood up and completely opened the window. As I closed my eyes, I had a late realization that the clean air in this place, never stops blowing like it was a restless teenager in the night who was kissed by her crush.

I inhaled the breeze gently blowing on my skin. It felt odd how there was no dust alomg with it and the scent was with a tinge of salt. Of course, how could I forget.

I closed the window and went out of my room. Alvin was making a ruckus and I wonder what is it this time.

As I approached the living room, Alvin was throwing tantrums. Mike was busy calming him down. Grandma and Rebecca was nowhere around.

"Is everything okay, Mike?" I asked. "Where's Rebecca and Grandma?"

He looked at me and sighed. "Grandma picked some vegetables for dinner. Rebecca slept with Elvira. And Alvin here..."

I stared at me nephew thrashing around the floor, crying and murmurring something so I couldn't really understand what he was saying.

"Daddy... sea... swim... "

I chuckled when I deciphered Alvin's broken words. I sat on the floor with him.

"Alvin? You want to come with Aunt Raffy?" I called him.

"Noooo! I want sea!" he cried.

"So you don't to come with me to the sea?"

Then, he stopped and peaked at me. He was lying on the floor face down with his hands on his face.

"You're going to the sea, Aunt Raffy?"

I smiled and nodded.

I shifted my gaze to Mike. "It's okay. I'll

handle him. You must be tired," I said.

"You sure?" I nodded. Then, he left after saying goodbye to Alvin. Not really a goodbye but few reminders for him to follow. Making sure Alvin won't give me a hard time.

"Let's go?" I said to him while holding out my hand which he happily took.

While on our way out, we saw Grandma at her vegetable garden. I told her I'll just take Alvin for a walk by the shore.

"Make it back before sun down. The way back won't be too dark by then," she reminded.

"Yes Grandma!" Alvin answered for me.

The way to the shore was much the same as the path we walked from the road to Grandma's house. A lot of trees were scattered on either side. We had to turn and jump away from the big roots. A few more walks and grains of sand started to fill our slippers. The rushing sound of waves kissing the shore was getting louder and louder and so was the harsh breeze slapping our skin. With a few steps, we finally stepped out of the forest and the long shoreline greeted us.

Alvin broke free from my grasp and excitedly ran towards the water. I took my time catching him, filling my eyes the horizon that I haven't seen for years. I scanned the whole place and nothing much has changed. The big stones on my left were still present and was visible due to the lowtide. I approached it and sat there as I watched Alvin play on the shore.

He wasn't really swimming like what he cried so much for earlier. He was just playing the sand and the water. But I can tell half of him was already wet. I shifted my gaze back to the sea... to an islet across where the sun was about to directly set. I once went there... with someone close. Back then, living was worthwile.

I suddenly felt someone beside me, and I almost feel from my seat when I saw Alvin sitting with me. He was silently watching the sea.

"Are you okay, baby?" I asked him.

He nodded. I noticed his pants were full of white sands. His hands, too.

"Aunt Raffy, I want to see the sun set," he said.

"Really? Why? You heard what Grandma said."

"My classmate said it was beautiful like her," he answered while still staring at the horizon. "So, I want to find out if it's true," he added.

I smiled inwardly. The sun was starting to hang low and the sky was beginning to change tints.

"This classmate, does she have a name?" I asked him.

"Miraluna but she wants to be called Mira. So, I called her Luna," he answered, laughing silently.

When did this boy started to sound like a teenage boy?

"Is she your friend?" I asked.

"Yes, for now..."

My brows raised at the sound of his words. This dude...

I laughed. "For now?" I urged.

"Yes, aunt Raffy. For now. I intend to make her my bride soon. I promised her," he replied, serious as the school librarian.

"Baby, tell me who taught you all of this. I want to reward him," I said, entirely amused. This boy was only 6 years old and 'bride' comes out of his mouth.

"Wow..." he uttered.

I traced the path of his sight and he was looking at the beautifully painted sky shile half of the sun was visible.

"Alvin, a promise is something that shouldn't be said carelessly. Speak of promise only when you know the feeling to be at the receiving end of a broken one..."

Promise is a scary word, Alvin. Especially, promises of love. If you break one, you will be a liar while leaving a scar on her. But sometimes, it doesn't only leave scars but also little crumbs of pain for the past to find you anytime you feel like you've outrun it. So, you don't get lost in the temporary joy you're feeling.

"Let's go. It's getting cold and dark." I stood up and carried him.

The day pretty much ended quickly. Everyone was tired from the trip so, we took no delay in getting our rest. Grandpa dined with us during dinner. He was supposed to go fishing but a heavy downpour occured just as we started our dinner. The winds were blowing mad against the windows. Loud drops of rain took over the night.

"Aunt Raffy?"

I heard Alvin's voice as he knocked on my door. I stood up and opened it. Rebecca was standing behind him, looking apologetic. I smiled and nodded. All of a sudden, a loud thunder echoed in the sky and Alvin ran unto me out of fright.

"I got this," I assured Rebecca.

"Thanks," she said and left.

I closed the door and placed Alvin on the bed. He was hugging his pillow tightly as he latched unto me like someone will take him any moment.

"It's okay now, Alvin. The God of Thunders won't hurt you. You have been a good boy," I said, hoping it would ease his fear of this stormy night.

I gently brushed his hair. Hushing him and calming his shivering nerves. He suddenly looked up to met meet my eyes.

"What is it?"

"Tell me a story, Aunt Raffy."

"What story?"

"About a Prince making a promise to his Princess. That he will someday marry her and that he never broke the promise," he said.

I stared at his innocent eyes. I pulled his blanket closer and began telling my story.