CHAPTER 5

I was broken from a young age

Take my sulking to the masses

Writing my poems for the few

That look at me,took to me,Shook to me , feeling me

Sometimes I feel as if this song was just sung describing me.like what the fuck its just like my life.

Singing from heartache from the pain

Taking my message from the vains

Speaking my lessons from my brain

Seeing the beauty through the...

Sometimes I think about what would happen if Mama didn't get me in the rain at the road. Would I be dead or someone house maid would I really succeed in life like I have right now.

Pain!

You made me a, you made me a believer , believer

Pain!

You break me down and build me up a believer, believer

Pain

Oh,let's the bullet fly,let them rain

My life,my love ,my drive it came from...

pain!

You made me ,made me a believer believer

From a tender age I knew what it was like to hate I knew what it was like to be betrayed

I knew what it was like to be mistreated .

I never wanted to wake up the next day and it all dawned on me when the woman and the man who brought me to life left me in a foreign country.

I remember being in the dark alone with no one to talk to or no one I knew . I remember being rained on. I remember it all as if it was yesterday and you know what hurts the most the only thing that kept me going when I was there was Alinda we could play together and she could sing for me 'do you wanna build a snowman' every night I remember her crying but not doing anything when I was left in another country. I just wanted her to fight for me nothing more but she didn't and that's what hurts me the most.

Pain broke me down I cried through the nights sleeping and waking up in the middle of nowhere , sleeping and seeing the man and woman who brought me to life killing me. I never had even a peace ten minutes of sleep . All I could see in sleep was torture . Torture was all I could think of .

You know that feeling when you think you are free from the past that's all I could think off.

Mama found me and showed me love .

For the first time I felt more safe I had a mother to love that's one thing that made me move on .

I felt good being in her arms she knows I can't sleep and she doesn't judge she makes me feel special.

Mama made me feel real and made feel more human and after all the struggle she went through . Alinda comes back and she thinks she can make me remember my past but I can't where I am right now is who I am right now.

It's like

"Sorry but the old Alexandra can't answer the call"

"Why"

"Oh"sigh

"cause she's dead"

It was already a week since mama called and I was waiting for her anxiously . Sam has not been at home most of the time and I don't care I only care for mama .

Maddy and I have been civil towards each other I think we'll soon be friends.

I then got a call from my mom.

"Hello baby"

I heard my moms sweet voice

"Hello Mama"

"The plane will be landing in 20 min make me some food"

"Am waiting for my mama"

I made her ham and cheese french toast swirl

It took me some time I heard the plane landing and the food could take some more time to be ready.

It took them almost ten minutes and my mom came out of the plane I ran towards her she hugged me tightly and I felt at home with her for she's my home.

"Let's go to the house" I said .

"Let me hope theirs food "We both chuckled at the same time .We came in the house and my house manager brought the other thinngs.

I went to the kitchen and left her in the living room I had three minutes till the food is ready so I set the table I took Coke and poured them in three glasses the food was ready I brought it to the table with all the necessary cutleries and called my mom and Aden our house manager to eat the Pilot went immediately we landed.

"My baby knows how to cook my favorite" my mum said pinching my cheeks

We ate silently no one talking the only sound being heard was of the cutleries when we finished Aden excused herself she removed the utensils and I remained with my mama.

" How are you doing"

"Mama am I the reason you are not married"

"Why" she asked unsure why I had asked that.

"Why do you think you're the reason"

I sighed heavily

"Because you had to take care of me " I told her she laughed then said

" I Know those are not your thoughts for you are always busy doing important things so who put that in your head"

She asked I cannot lie so I told her who did.

"How did he know am your mother"She asked worriedly

"Ish mum he didn't I just drew you last week in class and he said that the only reason you have no husband was because you had a kid"

"Baby the only reason am not married is because I want to be with you and no one else you're my daughter I want no spouse for you already make me happy and proud and that's enough for me"She said smiling.

"What if I get married"

"I will be happier for I'll have two daughters"

"Mum what about we adopt another kid who's around six or seven years"

"Who will take care of her for I have no time for another kid"Mama told me the only reason she loved me so much when I was young it was because I had a mind of its own like a grown up I never acted like a kid and that when she saw me at first something just forced her to take me.

"I will take care of her" I blurted out I really don't know if I can take care of her but I really need a someone in my life to keep me busy so a sister will do.

"Ok I will be staying for a month for you know the event will be carried in this town."

I was thinking of my Future sister. I don't want a cry baby or a bitchy person I want a kid who is humble and intelligent not book intelligent but life intelligent like a person who knows what is right and wrong .

I looked up at the foster homes in my phone .I will check most of them  next week donating money and looking for the best sister.

"Where is Sam I have not seen her did you fight" My mum brought me back from my sister world.

"I don't know she has been avoiding me since you announced the heir thingy" I told her .

"I don't know why she is mad about that though"

" Mum we will be going to the foster homes next week I will ask for a school pass"

My mum nodded she seemed tired .

"Mum go to bed and rest I will wake you up later"

"What do you want for dinner" I asked her for am not in the mood for dinner.

"What about we go to an ice cream shop"

"Mum you the best" I told her

" One thing we have in common is we both love ice cream"

"Mama we have in common almost everything go and sleep granny"

"Don't granny me am still young"

She then went to her room I watched the rest of the legacies episode then went to the art room .

I still don't have an idea on what to draw but I know some few things I want in my art.

I brought all the colors brushes and pencils I'll be using took them in my bedroom cause I want it next to me. I also took a pocket notebook so that when I get an idea I write it down but am sure by the end of the week I'll have something big in mind .

The moment I came back I saw Sam with a certain girl coming in she went straight to her bedroom she's lucky she's drunk but when she sobers up she'll get a handful from me and my mum . If their is one person am possessive about is mama I think it will be hard for me when the young sister comes

I called my mum so that we can go and eat.

We are going to a place where it's private and closed so paparazzi can't get her.

"Damn am coming stop calling me as if I have your kidneys"

I laughed we left with my BMW it was my last year gift for Being the daughter of the year.

What can I say my mum's the best.

When we reached the place my mum didn't get out of the car because she's scared of being seen right now.

I ordered two large chocolate chip cookies ice creams with extra sprinkles we ate in the car talking and laughing we went back home and we found Sam and I think the girl had left. She was sitting on the couch the door couch to be exact.