On the way home

"Just as there is no answer without a question, there can be no question without an answer."

It was written on a fallen out leaf from a notebook during the inspection of carry-on luggage on Cal's return to his homeland. The airport employee, apologizing for his carelessness, picked up the sheet and handed it to Cal, who read the only inscription on the torn sheet. And already sitting in the taxi taking the client home, Cal looked at the sheet passing it from hand to hand, holding in his head a question that is unlikely to be answered. - Who are you? The man who made the manual for himself, and whether it helped you, I wish we could talk.

It's not the first time Cal's had that thought. Perhaps I have a lot in common with the author of the notebook, perhaps he too, after a continuous series of failures, managed to find the point where all roads converge, and surely succeeded in many ways. Most importantly, like me, he probably didn't have a mentor and no one showed him the right path. What I need right now is someone who can support me with understanding.

But the reality is that just as people do not give up bad habits knowing they are harmful, they will not be motivated to take long-term action based on external support alone. Why am I even thinking about this, Cal thought, lowering the window a little in the back of the taxi. Slowly filling his lungs with a pleasant breeze, something from a notebook came to Cal's mind, something that had been read but not properly comprehended. On his mind was, "you are your best friend, you are your worst enemy." With a short laugh, Cal said softly, "So that's what it means. - The driver, who looked at the customer's reflection in the mirror and thought he was being addressed, asked Cal to repeat it, but a little louder.

- No, no, that's me talking to myself, not realizing I'm talking out loud.

- I thought you were talking to me, but I guess a lot of people talk to themselves from time to time. I do that sometimes, too. - The driver laughed.

- So it's normal. I noticed the sign as we drove by, Aurora Charitable Foundation, have you heard of it?

- You know, my eyes don't see signs like that. But I'm sure it's not clean either.

- Why? Do you think you're being cheated?

- No, I'm sure there are people trying to do the right thing, but they're not the people who run a lot of countries, cities and so on. So I'm not inclined to trust them.

- Why do the vast majority of people believe, or rather accuse others with certainty that the case is not clean, even if it is an ordinary charitable foundation?

- Do you think that all the funds go to their intended purpose?

- In large foundations, of course not, but as for beginners with enthusiasm and faith in the idea, I think they are quite sincere until they face a hard choice.

- And what choice are you talking about, steal from the weak or fill their pockets?

- I don't excuse liars until I'm one of them. I guess that's how it goes, a person fights for an idea until they are tilted in a particular direction, and it's either greed or people that tilt them.

- I'm sorry, but I have nothing to say for them. Why did you ask about this foundation?

- His lights were brighter than the others, caught my eye.

- Customers don't often talk to me, or drivers in general. Yeah, it's my job, but on this side, it's a fight for survival. Well, who would want to drive people 10-12 hours a day and at the same time feel their arrogance every day. Believe me, it's getting harder and harder to keep faith in people's honesty and integrity.

- To our mutual regret, there is more truth in your words than...

- Thank you. We're almost there, which way should I drop you off?

- Turn left and stop.

A hundred grand in his account, a great mood, plus a momentary urge to visit Aurora, kept Cal awake for a couple hours. As had usually happened in the past, sleep came at dawn, old habits preventing Cal from relaxing without defeat. If I can't sleep, I'll find something about Aurora," Cal whispered, reaching for his cell phone. After typing the words he wanted into the search engine, a lot of charities with the same name appeared on the screen, but the one he wanted wasn't there. After adding the location to the query, the first thing that popped up was a videotape of an interview on a morning program that had taken place not too long ago. After watching the footage, Cal was left with the only one question, anonymous or first-person donation. Anonymous is more honorable and more valuable, but for some reason the urge to try out the process was present. Cal deferred his decision to his waking moment.