Chapter 20 the past (2)

At first, I thought it wouldn't hurt me but it did. there is a time I cried and begged for death and how I recovered at that time was by feeling numb. at first, you cry the second time also you cry a third time you cry but after some time, you will start to feel like you got used to it. I got scars but I wouldn't think they would heal as time passes everything good or bad will heal. my family's condition is that we are above average but not rich.

[For some people small things give happiness but they are also the things that can break you and make you sad, lonely, hurting, frustrated, or jealous]

there is a time when I thought I could be innocent but this cruel world didn't let me succeed and broke me down but I rose again. I healed myself without reaching for help from anybody to nobody. I made mistakes I am not perfect remember this incident clearly in my life.

when I was in third standard (7 or 8 years) [in the Indian education system children are admitted when they were only three to four years old ] a girl name Uma was in the same class as me but she was 40kgs or 88lbs. so I made fun of her by saying she was fat that must hurt her a lot. I got to about her feelings when I was called fat in the sixth standard. one incident that made me realize is when we are playing a game with boys a girl named Deeksha was drawing on board and we have to guess what she was drawing I asked can I draw she replied I will draw you but how can I draw an elephant or a pig.

[ you don't know what others are feeling until you are going to experience everything your self]

[ don't show sympathy show empathy

Sympathy: when you will bad for others

Empathy: to be able to understand how others feel]

when you call people dark, skinny, fat, etc... that doesn't make them angry as they already got used people call them but what makes them angry is the trauma that's left behind that makes them think about their past experiences.so there is a shadow that's left behind.