Chapter 42: Seo Yeon

I couldn't take the tension and constant over-thinking and over-worrying as I snuck out and mounted a horse to visit Seon-Ho and see how the was. It had been almost over a month since I had seen him and it harder parting with him than I thought, after living with him for years. I didn't stick around long enough to see his reaction and I kept getting a sinking feeling since the day I left. I had to see for myself how he was doing- and if he now hated me or not.

I couldn't get him off of my mind ever since I had sneaked out from my job and followed Seon-Ho to the military base that was close to my father's village. As soon as I heard about where he was going I followed him secretly with my brother's belonging that he brought back from the Liadong war. I dressed up in his clothes and I took his weapons as I took my place as close to Seon-Ho as I could get without him recognising me. I lived, ate and slept like a solider; all the times I had been punished in my jobs and thrown in cells or abandoned rooms really paid off as I was able to keep my wits together as I witnessed things I never thought I could witnesses in a war camp. But my father's village which was still anonymous for the most part was my upmost priority...as well as Seon-Ho. I had never seem him so...down and depressed? But whatever, he was probably missing Hui-Jee. But I couldn't help but worry about him at the same time, but there was also nothing I could do; I couldn't tend to him in a camp full of soldiers!

I will never forget the look on his face when he recognised me for as long as I will live. I didn't even realise he had followed me specifically until I got out of the river practically naked. I was so caught up in his stare that it took me a while to hide my body in the water again. He looked too stunned to speak so I told him that I was only there to protect my father's land before getting dressed. The look he had when he saw me naked...but he returned to his senses when he grabbed me by the arm and tired to take me away. I did everything I could in my power to stay, even conversing with the captain about our weapons whilst trying to imitate my brother to the best if my ability when he just told me to shut up and go back to my place. I shrugged at Seon-Ho and I made my way back to my tent before he could catch me...although I should have known that he would follow me and practically kick out all of the arrogant spoilt brats in my tent who had been driving me absolutely insane. There were only so many sparring matches I could take for fighting over everything to food rations to clothes. I do not know where he got the strength to physically beat up everyone in the tent who wouldn't leave us alone and tried to kick him out. In the end the most problematic ones ha dot find new tents as no one dared to mess with him too much on the account that he was the King's new favourite person.

There was a completely new atmosphere...a sad but intense tension between us. He stayed in my tent and didn't let me leave his sight for a second, which was something completely new to me; from how I ate to how I slept. He was furious with me but I had an answer for everything he said so he no longer argued with me, but he would be my lookout when I needed to bathe. I tried my best to partner up with other people when we had to train but of course he wasn't having any of it; I had no idea what the hell was wrong with him but he was acting possessed around me. He barely let anyone talk to me or interact with me at all. And when we actually fought well...I could tell he wasn't expecting what I could do. We always flanked around each other and protected each other. I even snuck out with him a few times when we could and I introduced him to my father's village, which he actually took to quite well to my surprise. This was the first time I saw him happy in a vey long time. Everyone welcomed him nothing to their name but warmth and kindness, as if he was one of them. I knew that he never had a sense of true belonging so I was honestly really happy for him. He was a tall man though with a big build and a lot of the younger people couldn't stop staring at him. Of course; 2 men sharing a horse was a real sight to see until I had to removed my helmet.

My father's village was a poor and and were in desperate need of redevelopment. I had been helping out with my brother's funds to the best of my ability since Prince Bang-Won had him on some mission. They always had just enough food to feed themselves but when they saw Seon-Ho they all crowded around him before literally tearing him from my grasp and they insisted on feeding him well until he was completely full up and couldn't move anymore. It was a funny sight to see that had me in hysterics all night long; the women kept fussing over him and children wanted to play with him and he had no idea how to react to all the genuine attention and care he was getting. We still hand't really spoken to each other but before I knew it we were conversing with our eyes. Everyone in the camp was asleep so I only had a few hours to help out with provisions before we had to return. I left Seon-Ho to sleep as we stole some of the food the captain had hidden in his tent which was far too much for his own good. I alongside some women distributed these in every households along with some weapons that we managed to get a hold of as I met up with Chief Park. He had been no less of a father to me and I was beyond grateful to have him in my life; he trained me and forced Hwi to take me to etiquette classes ad even insisted on furthering my education as much as I could. And it was thanks to him that I managed to last in a military camp.

Seon-Ho was still passed out with a full belly so I changed back into my outfit, only to have him grab my hand and pull me almost onto his lap on the floor. I was still conflicted and trying to move on from the situation that almost wrecked all of our lives in his father's mansion...but he just had such a rare smile on his face that I couldn't help myself and I cupped his face into my hands...and I just lay besides him as we just watched each other to our heart's content...until it was time to go back to the camp. He looked genuinely sorry to leave and in one evening a lot of children had gotten attached to him. He had no choice but to make promises to come back and see everyone; especially the children who kept pulling him around everywhere. Witnessing the sheer curiosity and warmth that my father's village brought him was a memory I would cherish my whole life; it was like a new world had been opened up to him; the same world that his mother was forced to join and the one he had left behind in his desolate childhood.

But it was time to go indeed....but he also changed somewhat as well. He suddenly made me cling onto him as we headed back, and we trained together more intensely since we couldn't sleep. Instead of distancing himself from me as he had been for a while now he invaded my personal space whenever he could. He wouldn't leave me alone until we heard the captain scream that his precious food was stolen. That created nothing but chaos in the camp until Seon-Ho was the one that slaughtered him without hesitation and exposed his corruptness; distributing his luxuries between the soldiers and soon taking over the captain position. He was a lot more capable than the previous one, which didn't surprise me at all. In about a week or so we were able to finish construction in the villages that needed repairs under a strict deadline, as well as send the leftovers to my father's village. And the next time the rebels attacked us we were well-prepared with tactics and layouts that I received from Chief Park that could help us and I could return home in time before my brother retuned. We ended his mission effectively and I wanted to visit my father's village one last time before I had to go back to my work. I tried to slip away without him noticing me, but of course luck wasn't on my side. His new behaviour was really getting to me as he, for what ever reason seemed to shift his whole attention onto me. I wanted to ask him why he had changed, but before I could get a word in, Chun-Ae of all people walking towards him and making a scene about how she followed Seon-Ho with all of her devotion which distracted him enough that I slipped away.