chapter 21

Neptune was a fairly upscale restaurant, and because of that—also because of the

friendship between Ryan and Jackson Graham—it tended to be the go-to choice for first

dates in the Delaney family. Not that Colin was even sure this was a date. He hoped it

was. He supposed Julia might interpret it as a host showing hospitality to a houseguest,

but he was thinking date, and he wanted her to think that, too.

When the hostess showed them to a table at a window looking out onto Main Street,

As his mother had taught him to do, Colin pulled out Julia's chair for her. They ordered

wine, and when it came, they sipped the pricey Chardonnay amid the chatter of the other

diners and the warmth of the room with its bustling activity.

Just sitting there with the wine and the Julia glow, Colin started to feel happy for the

first time since Redmond's passing. There was no accounting for it. He'd lost a loved

one, he was embroiled in family drama, his work was growing increasingly backed up,

and here he was, feeling happy. It could only have been Julia, but how did that make

sense, when he'd known her for such a short time?

"Tell me what you were like as a kid," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "I can't

imagine what it was like to grow up here, as a Delaney."

Colin shifted gears mentally and regarded her question. He considered giving her the

appropriate line—that it was a good, wholesome, old-fashioned childhood in which he

milked cows and learned traditional family values—but instead, he went with the truth.

"It was good, in a lot of ways. A lot of ways. I think Ryan, Liam, and Breanna would

tell you they had the best childhood any kid could dream of. But for me … well. It was

different."

A little crease formed between her brows. "How?"

He shrugged, trying to affect a casual air. "Our place—the ranch—it's all about the

cattle, and hard work in the outdoors. That's what they value. Getting your hands dirty,

working up a good sweat, working your ass off in the dirt and the hay and the cow shit.

And I didn't do any of that. I didn't do any of the things they valued."

"Why? You didn't like ranch work?"

"At first, I couldn't do it. And then, they wouldn't let me." He launched into the

story of how he'd been hospitalized with a severe asthma attack at the age of three and

had almost died. His doctor had said that allergens—including hay, pollen, and animal

dander, all of which were abundant in the outdoor expanses of the ranch—had likely

triggered the attack.

"So, while my brothers and my sister were out riding, working with the animals, and

doing all of the other things ranch kids do, I was inside reading and playing with my

Legos. It's not like my parents had any choice—I get that. They were just doing their best

to keep me healthy."

"But?" Julia prompted him.

"But, I eventually outgrew asthma, for the most part. I still had some minor

issues, but no more severe attacks. And even though my health changed, nothing else

did." He paused, lost in his memories, and sipped some wine. "By then, my parents saw

me as the fragile one. The one who couldn't do the things the other kids could."

"The one who couldn't do the things they valued the most," Julia said quietly.

Colin nodded slowly. "Right. And any time I wanted to do those things—to ride or

to help with the cattle—they shut me down. 'You know you can't do that, Colin. You'd

better leave that for the others.' " He shook his head absently. "I was the only one who

didn't have a horse. Ryan, Breanna, and Liam all had one. But my parents were afraid

that if I had one, too, I'd want to be out there in the stables, with the hay and the dust and

all of the things that might shut down my airways. I always wanted my own horse."

"What about Breanna? She doesn't do ranch work, does she?" Julia asked.

"She didn't much like that kind of thing, but she's a girl, so it's different."

"Ah. Gender expectations," Julia said knowingly.

"Sure. She could help my mom with the cooking or the housework, and that was

fine because that's what girls were supposed to do. But for me …"

"You weren't doing what men were supposed to do."

He felt gratified that she got it, that she understood. His basic sense of otherness

within his family—his sense of being less of a man than his brothers—had never

changed, probably never would change.

"But you handle your family's legal issues, right? The real estate, the investments

…"

"Right, and I've done well with that. Very well. But that's pencil-pushing if you ask

my dad. That's not a man's work."

"He said that?" She looked appalled.

"Oh, no. He'd never say that. Nobody ever said that. Well, except Liam." Colin

grinned. Liam would say anything to get under his brothers' skin when necessary,

regardless of whether it was true. Liam saying such a thing out loud held much less sting

than the rest of his family merely thinking it.

"Colin." She reached out and put a hand over his on the table. He didn't need her

comfort, but he wanted it anyway. The feel of her hand on his made a wave of warmth

run through his body. He wondered if her touch would create the same effect applied to

other areas on his person.

"It's okay," he told her. "I'm okay." He made no move to take his hand out from

beneath hers. "It's just … being here, with them, is always kind of weird."

The waitress came and took their orders—a steak for him and seafood pasta for her

—and Julia considered what he had told her. She knew what it was to be an outsider in

her own family. Ever since Drew had discovered the truth about his parentage, he and

their mother had guarded the secret from Julia as though it were a matter of national

security. Drew was trying to protect her, she knew that—protect the image Julia had of

her mother. And of course, Isabelle was trying to hide her own infidelity, her own shame.

But regardless of their reasons, the result was that Julia felt excluded, as though they

hadn't loved her enough, trusted her enough, to tell her the truth.

She'd been placed outside of the circle, and so had Colin. The circumstances were

different, but emotionally, it was probably much the same.

"I think I get it," she told him. "Feeling like everyone in your family is in one place,

and you're in another? Not just geographically, but emotionally? This thing with Drew

and my mom … It hurt. It still does."

His hand, the one she had been holding, had been palm-down on the table. But now

he turned it upward and closed it around hers. The thrill of that touch rushed through her,

and she wondered what this was that she was feeling. Lust? Certainly. But it was more

than that. Something deeper than that.

"Colin," she said. Her eyes pleaded with him for something, some connection.

He leaned toward her, drawing closer, and paused with his mouth just inches from

hers. "I want to kiss you," he murmured. "Is that all right?"

Instead of answering, she closed the gap and touched her lips to his gently,

tentatively.

When they pulled apart, she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked

up, and they both saw Liam standing outside the window on Main Street, watching them,

his face red with fury.

"Oh, shit," Colin said.

Before Julia knew what was happening or what to do, Colin got up from the table

and headed toward the restaurant's front door. He didn't make it that far, though.

Before Colin could get fifteen feet, Liam intercepted him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Liam demanded, puffing up his chest

and getting in Colin's face. Diners at nearby tables stopped eating to watch.

"Why are you here?" Colin asked. "You're supposed to be having dinner at the

ranch."

"I had a change of plans. Don't change the goddamned subject. What the fuck—"

"Liam, just calm down. Let's—"

"You're going out with her? You're kissing her? After I told you how I felt about

it?" Liam gestured toward Julia, who was on alert, standing next to the table.

"If you're tempted to talk shit about Julia, you'd better watch yourself," Colin told

his brother. Between the two of them, Liam was the one you'd expect to get into a fight

in the middle of a restaurant. But the look on Colin's face, the low intensity of his voice,

made Julia wonder whether he might be the one to bet on if a brawl did break out.

"Goddamn it, Colin, she's his sister," Liam went on. "The sister of the guy who's

trying to bilk us out of millions of dollars of Redmond's money. Where's your

goddamned loyalty?"

The manager, a tall, thick guy with a name badge that said NEIL GOODWIN,

approached the brothers. Julia supposed that everyone in a town this small must know

each other, because Neil needed no introductions before he said, "Colin, Liam. Let's

settle down, now. Is there something I can help you boys with?" He wisely stood back a

couple of feet from the two Delaneys.

"You can tell Liam to get his head out of his ass," Colin said, his expression fierce.

"Yeah? Well, you can tell my brother to stop thinking with his dick," Liam snapped.

"You two are going to need to take this outside," Neil said. Liam took one

threatening step toward Colin, and Neil—whose substantial stature couldn't be ignored—

stepped between them. "Outside," he said again.

The fight was between Colin and Liam, so Julia wondered if maybe she should stay

inside and avoid getting involved. On the other hand, the fight was about her, so she was

already involved. As the two brothers stormed out of the restaurant with Neil on their

heels—presumably, to make sure they really went—Julia scurried after them, adrenaline

making her heart pound.

When they were all on the sidewalk in the evening chill, Colin faced Liam and raised

his hands in a gesture of calm and reconciliation. "Now, let's calm down for a second,

Liam. You can't just—"

"You are not getting involved with her," Liam said, pointing at Julia.

Colin glared at him, his eyes cold. "First of all, I'll get involved with whomever I

please, and you'll have no say in it," he said. "And second, I think you owe Julia an

apology and some damned respect."

"Fuck off," Liam said.

Colin smirked. "That's about the level of intellectual discourse I'd expect from you.

'Fuck off.' Brilliant, as always."

Julia was new to the Delaney family dynamics, but she could see what was going on

between them as clearly as if she'd watched them grow up together. Colin was the family

outsider because he used his Ivy League intellect instead of doing hard physical work like

the rest of the Delaneys. And Liam was sensitive about the fact that he thought he wasn't

as smart as Colin. Liam didn't have to say it; his reaction to Colin's barb said it for him.

Colin knew Liam's sore spot, and he'd hit it with brutal accuracy. Liam reared back

and sent his fist sailing into Colin's face, and Colin rocked backward as he absorbed the

blow.

Colin heard Julia cry out in horror—or maybe that was just his own ears ringing. He

managed to stay on his feet, but goddamn it, Liam could hit hard.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Neil, the manager, grabbed Liam by the arm and pulled him

back, away from Colin. By now, a few other people had joined the crowd, including a

handful of male diners and Jackson Graham, Ryan's friend and the restaurant's head

chef.

"Hold it, hold it, Jesus." Jackson, a tall, auburn-haired man still in his white chef's

coat, emerged from the restaurant and inserted himself between Colin and Liam, just in

case Liam broke away from Neil's hold on him. "What are you guys doing? You can't

fight at my restaurant. Assholes." They both knew Jackson fairly well, and they both

knew better than to challenge him. While they were forbidden to fight at Jackson's

restaurant, Jackson himself had done it more than once—and he usually won.

Liam was attempting to pull his arm out of Neil's grasp, probably so he could clock

Colin again. He yanked himself free, and then Jackson grabbed both of his arms and

hauled him away from Colin. "Hey. Hey. Stop it right goddamn now. Or you want to take

this up with me?" Jackson said.

Liam looked like he was considering it, but then he put his hands up in surrender.

"Nope. I'm done."

"You?" Jackson turned to Colin in question.

Liam scoffed. "Him? He's too good to fight. Wouldn't want to hurt his manicure."

Colin moved toward Liam, but somebody in the crowd held him back—he didn't see

who it was. His head was foggy and his jaw hurt like he'd been hit by a truck.

"Liam? Go home. I mean it, or I'll put you on the ground, I swear to God," Jackson

told him. Liam didn't seem to doubt it. He shot Colin one more heated look and then

turned and walked toward his truck, which was parked at the curb on Main Street.

"Colin, come inside and I'll get you some ice," Neil offered.

"I don't need any ice." In fact, he could already feel his jaw swelling, but pride

prevented him from admitting it.

"Fine, then go on home."

Colin tested his jaw with his fingertips. Nothing seemed to be broken. "I haven't

paid the check."

"Forget it. It's on me. Just get out of here," Neil said.

Colin nodded. The crowd began to dissipate, and Colin stood there on the sidewalk,

gathering himself.

Julia approached him tentatively and put a hand on his arm.

"I should take you back," he said.

He wouldn't have blamed her if she'd wanted to go back, not to Gen and Ryan's, but

all the way back to Montana, never to see or think about the Delaneys again.

"I don't want to go back. Not yet," she said. "Not unless you need to be alone."

He looked at her. His mouth quirked up in a half grin, but even that hurt.

"You've got to admit I'm not a boring date," he said.