Neil San Francisco — 1985 Jackson

After his meeting with Jackson, Neil goes to Jo-Jo’s. Although he sinks his hands wrist-deep into rich white batter smooth as water, he cannot relax. The almond cookies that usually emerge fragrant as autumn leaves burn to a crisp.

Neil crumbles them into bite-sized morsels and scatters them into the alleyway, but even the hungry pigeons that roost over the bakery refuse to eat them. The fragments disintegrate slowly, darkening the pavement with regret.

That night, Jackson does not come to Bert’s

“Guess he must be on duty,” said Pam. “I hope he’s O.K. I feel real sorry for him. I know what it’s like to lose someone before you had the chance to tell them what was in your heart. It makes the missing so much worse somehow, almost as if you caused it... even though you know…” her voice trails away. Her eyes fill with tears and unspoken words.

It isn’t until the next morning, on the way to Jo-Jo’s, that Neil sees the paper. Policeman Killed in Castro.