~ 3: A Gain and A Loss ~

I burst open the front door of our house. Panting from the run, I ran straight to the living room. I saw my tired mother sitting on the wooden chair while my father massaged her shoulders. My footsteps were loud enough for my father to hear and say, "Where have you been, Celest? We were going to go looking for you. Why didn't you leave us a message?"

I explained to them that I had been to the sea and slept it out there. Then the two of them stared at me and then at each other. They never gave such alarmed looks to each other unless it was rather serious.

"What happened?" I asked when I couldn't hold back my tongue anymore.

"Where did you get that shell from?" my mother asked in a tight voice, breaking into a series of coughs.

"Take it easy. Drink something first. You haven't eaten a morsel since you left," my father said and fetched us something to eat.

"Did you really not eat anything? How could you do that to yourself?" I asked her, distressed that it was because of me she had gone out.

"Just a few fruits from the mountain forests," she mumbled wheezily. "You know that the cost of your tuition and all for your college would be completely out of our range. I can't sit here, knowing that you will not grow to be what you want to be."

I sat down exhausted from the run and pondered on just how I could help them now. I didn't want to break the good news to them yet, after being rather forgetful and ashamed of myself. But feeling concerned about my mother's health, as she continuously broke into wheezing coughs, made me leave my comfort. I fetched some water for her before I went to help my tirelessly working father.

With the kitchen near to the dining table, it was easy to talk about my queer dream with them. I knew my dream was something out of the mundane life I lead. And although it had to do something with my future as the little voice had said, I didn't have any faith in it.

But my mother's face contorted in what I assumed was fear, while my father's face was grim for a few moments and later expressionless. Never have I seen such expressions on their faces whenever they went out to sea during stormy weathers.

"It is but a dream," I remarked after finishing my tale. "Why do you look so worried?"

"Do you think you see tales like this every day? At your age that too, when you have no disabilities?" asked Mother.

"I know it is a horrific story, Sweet Love, but you must know that such things never happen in real life," Father solaced her. "Besides, she already got into her dream college. Didn't you hear that? The whole market was talking about it the moment the newspaper came in."

Her pale face changed colour as she heard about the news of me ranking first in our small town. I couldn't be gladder to see her so happy and enthusiastic, even in her ailment. She wanted to go about the whole town of Rwen and tell those people who looked down upon us about it. And I got one big hug and a few pecks on the cheek for my achievement.

The only thing I hadn't heard was how they knew that I got into my preferred university when I hadn't heard it myself. I opened my email and found tons of emails from different universities asking me to join such-and-such programmes. And among them was an invitation from Harlem University and the University of Wildon with a 100% endowment.

My parents and I couldn't be more thrilled. So for a treat, I was allowed to go out to wherever I pleased as long as I stayed within the town. If I couldn't buy anything, this was the biggest gift I could get.

"Of course I will," I said with confident reassurance. "I wouldn't imagine going away without telling you all about it. But before that, let me apply to them before it goes away."

Right then, a sudden thought occurred to me. "Don't tell me that you will be going out to the night market to sell those fruits today," I stated, recognising the danger in it.

My mother's sad smile confirmed it all. "It's for the best, Sweetheart," she spoke. It enraged me that she wasn't caring about herself at such a time as this.

"I swear that if you go out again today for my sake, I will not go to the Capital for my studies," I responded with fury. But she pleaded with me in such a piteous voice that I consented to only let her sit at the stall, direct me with the dealings and not lift a single finger unless it was truly essential.

So when evening arrived, I had finished applying to all the universities that had invited me with my favoured degrees and packed the fruits neatly and quickly before my mother came to try anything with them. I only gave her a small flower basket to carry, so that she could spend her time making wreaths, circlets and garlands with the fragrant, blossoming mountain flowers she had collected.

The three of us drove up to the stand, called The Rafenta's, in our small cart with one sturdy, well-fed horse. The two of us set about fixing up the place to receive the customers, who were to arrive in an hour, whilst my mother threaded the flowers to make boutonnieres and floral crowns. I listened to her teachings of the meaning of each flower and its significance as I arranged the fruits in bowls and baskets.

Just when we had put up our lights and final decorative touches, the people had already started going into shops. And when we had put up the pretty florals Mother had made, we had no lack of customers. To keep smiling all the time pained my cheeks, but as long as everyone was happy, a little smile didn't hurt that much.

The floral decors got sold out faster than a few fruit baskets. So to make the deal a bit more attractive, I put some of the flowers in the baskets and sprinkled some water on the fruits to make it classy. After brightening up the light a tad bit more, everything out on the counter looked surreal. That did bring more public into our stand than the others, although I had increased the price by a few pennies for the added details.

As much as my back hurt, I didn't dare to ask for a break as that would bring Mother to the front. Father was helping as much as he could, but he also needed a rest after such a hard day. So I greeted and sold everything, and gave friendly smiles to the passersby I knew.

'In such beautiful weather, nothing could go wrong, could it?' I thought to myself when we ran out of florals and needed at least ten minutes to refresh our stock. Even the fruits were on the verge of being a stock-out.

'You never know,' said the little voice mysteriously. It had popped out of nowhere again. 'Life is always full of surprises.'

It disappeared when I had a few friends arrive and congratulate me. With my chatty best friends among them, I was able to breathe out a few words, amongst them hugging me until I was breathless.

The sun had set two hours ago or so, but we still had a few items remaining. The place was going to be open for another hour at least. But as evening set in, the weather became chillier than the time I was at the shore. It was bearable as we had been through the worse conditions than this, but Mother was shivering vigorously. Her teeth were chattering while she made the last florals. Even with a warm shawl around her, she couldn't be kept from the cold and her continuous coughs.

I passed on my duty to my father to check up on her. Her face was a ghostly white colour in the light, and her lips and nails were turning blue. I touched her forehead and withdrew my hand almost immediately. She was burning up.

"Father! Mother is extremely feverish!" I shouted as I jogged towards him. "Shall I take her home in our cart?"

"No, you finish up here," he responded in a concerned voice and a grim face. "You wouldn't be able to carry her. Clean up everything, and then head straight for home. I will get the physician."

"But I want—"

"You will finish up here, young lady. And that's final."

His stern voice had me keep my mouth shut and let him do as he pleased. I saw him take off quickly in our cart, with the horse kicking up the sand in the people's faces. My heart ached but I couldn't disobey again.

I winded up everything within fifteen minutes and ran down the path to our bach. The gate was thrown open and it was completely dark inside the house, except for a light in the corner window upstairs.

I broke open the door of her room, wheezing. I saw my mother lying nearly lifeless on the bed. The doctor and my father looked my way before they continued their conversation.

"How's my mother going to be?" I panted out after catching some of my breath.

"It is severe pneumonia," the doctor replied. "She must have been under the weather for quite some time before she got it. It got worse because of her already existing throat and lung infection. She seems to have suffered from a slightly deep cut in her throat as she speaks rather quietly and tightly."

A sudden realisation hit me. It made my head pound and my heart throb. My mother had been treating my flu, as I had thought it to be, and must have contracted the disease from me.

'How I wish that I could disappear!' I wailed inside. 'This can't be happening!'

I heard her say something. When everyone quieted down, I heard her say, "Where's my Lesty darling, Alder? I want to see her."

I ran straight towards her and hugged her tight. The tears I had been holding back rolled down and wet her blanket. When I looked at her face and caressed her head, she held my chin and mouthed words that didn't penetrate my head. In a moment, I understood what she was saying: "Jewel of the sea... Bring it..."

Before I could ask her where it was, she passed out, leaving me in tears of regret. I may have gained some money and praises from the locals, but in exchange for that ungenerous amount of happiness, I had to lose my mother to the cruelty of my fate.