Chapter 3

I shifted the gear to neutral and engaged the handbrake, in the parking lot, and then got out. My shift at Brent's bar ended half an hour ago and now it is close to midnight as I return to my dorm building.

I love my job there as a waitress, most of the days. Tips are generous and so are the customers, nothing too much rowdy that will get on my nerves, except for some rare days. But that doesn't fazes me, cause the pay is good, better than any other place. And money is something I need desperately. My full-ride scholarship in college, which no one knows about, is not going to pay my bills. And my parents are just-------- let's say, not capable.

My phone started ringing in my pocket and I took it out of my purse along with my student's id card and door keys. As soon as my eyes landed on the caller id, a soft smile graced my lips.

"Hey," I said with a full grin on my face, although he can't see it.

"Hey, baby," Brian, my boyfriend of four-month, says in a voice dripping with sleep.

Albeit living miles away from me in another country he never misses our nightly call, even though it messes with his schedule due to time difference and all. He always keeps track of my shift from the bar to end.

I inserted the key to our dorm room while chuckling at his voice. "You know you can just call me when you wake up, don't you?" I said and shut the door behind me.

Walking to the kitchen I grasped a bottle of water from the fridge and made my way to my room. Laura's door is closed and soft music is rolling out of her room, which means she is already sound asleep.

"Nah, then how will you know how much I love you?" I stilled at his words.

Brian loves me. There is not a question about it. It shines in his eyes, whenever he face-times me. And he makes sure to remind me of that every time he gets a window.

I'm not a fool. I know why he does that. I know he is waiting for me to reciprocate his feelings. And believe me, I want to. I do want to cause he makes me happy, makes me feel loved and wanted, like I had never before, from the moment we started talking online. But it seems like my heart is still stuck somewhere I don't want it to be.

With HIM.

"So, how was your day?" Brian asked to fill for my silence and I almost released a sigh of relief. He always lets me off the hook. Don't know how long he is going to do that, though.

"Horrible," I said with a little grunt in my voice as I plopped down on my bed.

"What happened?" his voice came a little alarmed, and then I heard shuffling of sheets, as he was sitting up to give me his full attention. And I immediately felt guilty for exaggerating the situation than it really was. So, I backtracked to do damage control before he face-timed me.

Brian doesn't know about my social-outcast disposition. And I plan to keep it that way, as long as I can.

"No, no. Nothing like that. Duh," I rolled my eye at myself, "I was just being a little dramatic, is all."

"Are you sure, babe?" he asked. his voice still laced with concern that melted my heart a little.

"Yeah," I said softly. "Actually, I have news for you. Do you remember the report I had submitted a little over fifteen days ago?"

I heard the shuffling of sheets again before he replied, "Yeah, the same one you won't let me read."

"Yeah, that one. It got selected for semifinals today," I said, leaving out the part where I had an almost panic attack in the middle of the class, for reasons so mundane that I will rather cut my tongue than tell anyone about it.

"Babe! that's great news! I'm so happy for you," he said laughing. "No, actually scratch that, you got right what you deserved. You were working like a lunatic on that one, it has to be good. Does that mean, I get to read that report?" he asked in a hopeful voice.

"In your dreams," I replied instantly crushing his hope.

"That's not fair, though," he all but whined and I could practically hear him pouting on the other side.

I laughed at his expense. "Stop acting like a big baby."

"Yeah, whatever," he said waving off the subject. "So, you happy about it?"

That's a million-dollar question, I wanted to reply. Cause even though I had worked pretty hard for it, I never considered it would bring any kind of recognition to me. And although I'm in awe of myself that I did it, at the same time I have a churning feeling in my stomach like a permanent knot twisting and rolling inside, that tells me otherwise. I haven't been in the popular crowd since I was thirteen and I don't want to be a part of it ever again.

But I didn't say any of this to him. The last thing he needs after a long day is a whining girlfriend. So instead I said, what I was supposed to say "Why not will I be? I'm at cloud nine, actually."

"I'm so happy for you and so proud of you," he said again and then let out a long sigh. We both remained quiet for a little while, relishing in the silence until he broke the it. "Okay, gotta go. Coach has scheduled the practice tomorrow in the morning, which is going to suck-ass big time," he groaned, "And I will also let you have some rest after your big day. Congratulations, baby."

"Thanks, G'night."

"G'night," he said and hung up the phone.

I sat my phone on the nightstand and went through my nightly rituals before coming back to the bed. And then it was not long before my head hit the pillow that sleep overtook along with the nightmares, that has never left my side for last five years.

**************

I am ten minutes early for my first class, so I decided to go through my notes before Professor Dom comes. Taking it out of my bag, I leaned back in my seat and blocked out my surroundings.

It's been a week since that incident-----as I like to call it-----on last Friday. There had been some awkward 'Hellos' and 'How are yous,' here and there, in the cafeteria and corridors, but that was the extent of it. Nothing like I was worried about. As soon as they realized I had no intention of getting engaged in any type of conversation with anyone, they all moved on to their next target hot off the press.

More than fine with me.

Also leading to the end Cassie has gotten seriously fed up with the everyday sham going on. So she started snapping at anyone who came near us to talk, saying, "Well, too bad she is not interested even a bit. But if you are that desperate, you can kiss my ass. 'Cause you know, I had just had my breakup." I gotta say, I love my best friend. She is everything I am not. That's what makes us perfect for each other.

Speaking of her, it's the first time since I have started college that Cassie is not with me. She is down with a bug, that has taken almost everyone in the dorm in its throes. Leaving just a few, like me. And to say that walking in class without her was weird is the biggest understatement of the year.

I was jolted out from my state of daze when someone dropped in the empty seat next to me. I turned to see white teeth shining at me, surrounded by a sensual curve of lips. I took a double take to make sure I am not hallucinating, but he was still there grinning like he has hit some jackpot by catching me off-guard.

Of course, Drake Meyer.

"Do you like to scare the fuck out of me?" I spewed out before thinking and his eyes widened.

Real smooth, Grace. The first time you talk to him, you squeaked like a banshee, and the second time, cursed like a sailor in the first line.

Yeah, that's totally not awkward.