(14) Regret

It was a full moon. After two days of being in the forest alone, a young girl wearing tattered white clothing was sitting down, while warming her small body with the fire she built. A cloth was tied around her arm and was stained with dried blood that had seeped through.

Her nails were coated with dirt and she gulped, swallowing her saliva as her stomach growled. Her usual pretty face looked worn out, with dark bags under her eyes from not having slept well for the past few days. She stared intently at the rabbit that was sizzling on the side by the fire.

She was able to hunt for her own food and build her own fire to keep herself warm, but it was more difficult than she thought.

On her second day in the forest, she fought against a wolf and almost died. Yet her stubborn nature kept her from returning home right away. Luckily, she was a smart girl and she was able to treat herself since her parents still taught her that much.

As the girl wiped the tears falling down her delicate cheeks, she decided to return home after the night was over because she knew that it was her mistake. The girl missed her parents and she missed home. She was still a child and knew she couldn't make it out alone.

When her parents' faces appeared in her mind, the girl suddenly felt apologetic and sensed the tears re-emerge but managed to hold herself back. She was willing to withstand any punishment when she returned as long as her parents took her back in. So, once dawn arrived, she used all the cultivation she had to go back as soon as possible.

By the time she entered her hometown, it was already a full moon and the third day had passed. She was exhausted, thirsty, and hungry. But she missed home much more. The feeling of her mother and father's hugs kept her going. Oddly, for some reason, the night felt eerie and her heart was unsettled.

No one could be seen out and the full moon looked alive as it shone its light into the city, allowing her to find her way home quicker. She looked up at the moon, wanting to thank it as she smiled, being one step closer to her family.

When she finally saw the manor she lived in all her life, she breathed out in relief. All the aches of her body seemed to vanish and there was a comfortable throb in her chest as her eyes watered and nose ached. She ran inside, opening the door that was unlocked for some reason, and was too overjoyed to notice the white paper and ribbons hanging around the manor.

"Mother! Father! QiaoHua! I'm back! I'm home!" But there was no answer. She kept calling for her parents even as she ran out of breath, but there was only silence that accompanied her.

"Mother? Father?" she whispered, breathing in and out heavily as her heart thumped loudly. She reached her parent's bedchambers and knocked. No one answered. "Mother! Father!" She suddenly felt anxious and quickly pushed the door open.

The little girl heard a cough and hurried inside, feeling slightly frightened by how dark the room was, as if it were uninhabited.

She finally spotted a woman with a thick blanket covering her body. Her mother was lying in bed, coughing weakly, with only a small candle beside her bed table to accompany her.

At first, she sighed in relief, but then noticed her mother's weak body that was unable to get up to hug her.

"Mother? What's wrong?!" She ran to her mother's side and held her hand that felt as cold as a winter night. Why was she so cold?

Her mother coughed a few times again before she finally was able to open her trembling eyes. The girl bit her lips when she met her mother's beautiful dark pupils that had such little shine in them, it frightened her. Her beautiful mother…

When did her face turn so pale? Dark under-eye bags laid beneath her eyes and her lips looked chapped and off-color. The plain white robes her mother wore also did not help and only made her look even paler.

Her mother smiled and said with a hoarse voice, "LiJing… my dear Jing'er… My beautiful girl." She coughed again and Wu LiJing tightened her hold on her mother's hand, hoping her warmer hands would help warm up her mother as well. (a/n: adding 'er to a character of someone's name is an endearing way to call someone, usually from older to the younger ones)

"Mom…" Wu LiJing felt her voice shake as she spoke very softly, "I'm back."

Tears ran down her mother's eyes and wet the pillow. "I'm sorry, my dear," she said with a choked-up voice. "I'm sorry we were so harsh on you. You're just my little girl…"

"No, mother. It was my fault! I should have listened better, been more patient. Mother, are you feeling sick? Where is your medicine?" Wu LiJing looked around in a panic, letting go of her mother's hand.

But her mother suddenly gripped harder with an unwillingness to let go, and Wu LiJing kneeled back down to face the woman who loved and took care of her since she was born.

"Jing'er," her mother breathed out weakly. Her mother looked more haggard than Wu LiJing was used to and it made her chest feel extremely tight.

Wu LiJing's mother had always been sick for as long as she could remember, so there was always medicine around to help; but tonight appeared to be different. Wu LiJing could feel her heart running a million times harder and her hands and feet felt as stiff as a stick.

"My special drawer…"

Wu LiJing quickly understood, hurriedly went to the drawer on the left, and saw something wrapped up prettily. She took it out and showed it to her mother.

"This?"

Her mother nodded with a smile. "It is the present for your twelve birthday. You're finally growing up." More tears fell as the sick woman sorrowfully thought, she wouldn't be able to see her daughter become a woman.

Wu LiJing froze. "But mother, why are you giving me my present already? There are still another few months left." She tried to smile but it came out awkward as her lips trembled.

The beautiful woman stared at her daughter with loving eyes. "This is not your fault. Remember that, LiJing, and live well." Her mother used the gentlest voice as she smiled, "Take care of QiaoHua…" She sobbed. "Take care of yourself…" She coughed up much harder this time and blood dribbled down from her lips, forming a red river of death.

"Mother! What's happening?! Where is father? Father!" She panicked with wide eyes. Right, it was odd. Where was father?

Her mother still held her hand tightly as she struggled to get words out. "My baby… your father… not your fault… I love you… we love yo…" Her voice faded away and her eyes slowly closed as her coughing stopped, only leaving a trail of red to further stain the white pillow. The icy hand holding Wu LiJing's dropped with a thump, like how a leaf would drop once it came off a branch and landed on the ground, unable to grow further and would soon wither into the dirt.

"Mother?" It suddenly became a silent mess inside this dark room when no one answered her call.

Wu LiJing stared with wide eyes as her mother's chest stopped moving, as she stopped breathing, as red trickled from the bed. She stared at the unmoving body for a while. "Mother?" she whispered again, a throbbing pain in her throat. Why was her mother so quiet? Her shaking hands held her mother's cold hands, hoping she would hold her back. But no one responded.

"Father," she whispered. She had to find father to help. He always made everything better even if he was the strictest with her. She ran out of the room. She wouldn't cry. No. If she did, things would only worsen.

"Father… Father, where are you?! Mother is hurt!" Mother, who always smiled gently at her, didn't look like she was breathing. Wu LiJing's anxiety grew. Why was no one answering? She ran through multiple rooms and when she finally opened one, she saw a casket. She froze and stared. A foreboding feeling took hold of her body.

What's that there? She doesn't remember seeing such a huge box.

Wu LiJing took careful steps forward, feeling the weight of each step increase as she neared the casket that she had never seen before. Her breathing became uneven and her heart was beating, wanting to rip itself out and run away. She tried to calm her breaths and paused for a moment before slowly looking down at the casket that was almost as tall as her.

When she saw a still, male body and finally gazed upon his facial features, her breathing quickened precipitously, and she felt her body quiver. She stumbled back and fell onto her knees with a loud thump. She couldn't feel any pain on her knees because all of the pain had bunched up into her chest. One of her hands clenched her chest stringently as another grasped her throat.

Her throat felt the burn of a fire that scorched towards her chest and then to her abdomen. She opened her mouth, but no sound could escape, perhaps only a whiff of blocked smoke. She stayed in that position until the tears finally fell as big raindrops to the floor and she found it hard to inhale or exhale air, like life was being sucked out of her.

It seemed like time had stopped eternally, until finally, a sob bolted out and she bawled on the ground.

She tried to call out the names of her only beloved people, but nothing came out because she knew - no one would answer once again. No. No one could answer anymore.

She could feel her heart become charcoal as her cries echoed throughout her home. If this was her punishment… then she shouldn't have come back.

Wu LiJing woke up with a gasp and clenched her throat, feeling it hard to breathe as her eyes teared. It was only after a moment longer that she realized breathing was okay and that she was in her room.

She felt her back drenched with sweat and her dark eyes finally focused. Her hand dropped to her bed, leaving visible red marks on her throat. She sat up for a while until her breathing stabilized. Then she got up to take a bath before starting her morning exercises.

Wu LiJing dressed herself and was about to swing her sword in her courtyard after having already meditated, but then paused when she remembered the condition of her hands. She looked at them, currently wrapped up neatly and sighed.

The voice of her master echoed in her mind, "Remember to rest. If I come back and see you exhausted, I'll give you the punishment you hate the most."

Perhaps she should just rest for today. It was better than having to rest for a whole month… Her master had returned during the night when she was still awake and entered her room before going out of the sect again, obviously noticing her injured hands. She decided to mainly focus on meditating today.

Wu LiJing asked Cheng ChunHua to help her purchase some medicine and stayed within her manor for the next few days to concentrate on getting better.

On the third day, her hands were somewhat healed already. Cultivators who reached the Body Enhancing Realm were able to heal faster because one's senses would become enhanced and the body would become physically stronger. Wu LiJing found that to be quite useful.

…

Wu QiaoHua nervously stared at the ground with clenched hands as three women surrounded her, like nasty cats playing with a mouse, and the other inner disciples simply stared and whispered among themselves as spectators, acting like birds hungry for gossip.

Either way, Wu QiaoHua was still the prey in the end.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Xin Mei was walking by when she noticed the situation and quickly ran over. She pulled Wu QiaoHua beside her and glared at them.

Meng Shu rolled her eyes. "We're not doing anything. Just playing a game. If Wu QiaoHua doesn't want to, then that's fine." She looked at her nails calmly and blew on them while her two friends snickered.

"Coward," Liang Ya whispered as they walked away, giggling.

Xin Mei glared at them as she tightened her hold on Wu QiaoHua's arm.

Once the group of nasty cats were gone, she looked at QiaoHua, who was staring at the ground stiffly. "Are you alright?" she asked, concerned.

Wu QiaoHua nodded.

"What were they talking about?" She glanced around and everyone scattered away. There were about ten others who saw what happened, but it didn't seem like they would confess if she questioned them. Those hypocrites.

Wu QiaoHua was just silent and looked up with a small smile. "Nothing… I'm tired. I'll go rest first." Then she left.

Xin Mei could tell whatever was happening didn't seem good. Wei SuSu was out with another mission and only Xin Mei was left. She could feel the tense atmosphere between Wu QiaoHua and those three. They have been acting hostile for the past three days so she's been trying her best to steer Wu QiaoHua away from them.

She frowned and sighed, scratching her head in frustration as she stared at Wu QiaoHua, who was quickly walking away from her.

Wu QiaoHua gazed at her ceiling as she laid in bed. 'Coward'. It kept echoing in her mind. She shook her head and closed her eyes. 'Coward'. She covered her face. 'You can't do anything without your cousin'.

Then she went out and walked to the courtyard only to see Wu LiJing reading a book. She clenched her hands and after a moment ran back to her room.

Cheng ChunHua saw the odd behaviors of Wu QiaoHua and frowned. She wondered if she should report to her master… This was the third time that Miss QiaoHua has come out like this. But then she decided to go back and do her job. This was her master's business; she should just keep quiet.

When night-time arrived, Wu LiJing opened the bandages on her hands to redress them carefully. It should only take another few days before she can practice with her sword again. For now, she could focus on learning new spells or training her body to strengthen it further. As she was lost in thought, her gaze suddenly went to the letter sitting on her desk. She had forgotten to throw it away.

Her master suddenly returned after one day of leaving and left this note while she was taking a nap. She looked at the letter that read, 'Remember, take care of the box. And it's good you're learning to take naps.' Ignoring the second sentence, she mulled over those words and sighed.

She's been entering Sect Master Wang's room almost every night to take care of a box. This night was no exception. "It's a hassle," she muttered. She should just bring that box and put it in her room, for safety measures as well. It's just, she thought her master would return by now, so she left it where it was, on his shelf, where multiple other boxes laid.

After she finished wrapping her hands, she meditated for a bit before she opened her door and walked next door to her master's manor. She walked with silent steps and was about to step into her master's study room, until…

Crack!

Wu LiJing paused. Her eyes narrowed and her body vanished from her position as she summoned her sword. In the blink of an eye, she arrived at the place where the noise originated from. She lifted her sword only slightly before she froze when she saw who it was, and her sword vanished, with her long dark hairs blowing in the wind quietly as she stood still.

It was late into the night and it was dark, but with small lanterns lighting the way, she could still make out who it was that had dared to enter Sect Master Wang's manor.

QiaoHua was looking at her with trembling eyes as LiJing stared back with confusion marring the face she had tried to keep neutral. QiaoHua quickly avoided her gaze and stared at the ground, as her hands shook heavily.

Wu LiJing's attention fell on the wooden box on the ground, broken into pieces. This was what had made that noise from earlier and gave Wu QiaoHua away.

She took quick steps forward and got a better look at the box, hoping it was the wrong one. Her pulse was beating in her ears as she bent down and even forgot to release the breath she sucked in. The lid looked a bit old and had some kind of circular engraving on it, but it was cracked and broken into two pieces, separated from the empty box that only had a minor chip. Her eyes slowly widened when a fingertip brushed against the broken lid, and she became extremely still, like a wooden doll stuck in time.

QiaoHua gulped and debated whether she should speak. But she froze when LiJing looked up at her with eyes that was slowly turning icy. She stood up and her cold presence made QiaoHua step back with feeble legs.

"What were you doing here in Master's room?!" she raised her voice angrily, startling Wu QiaoHua into a slight jump.

"I!... I only came to see you…" QiaoHua tried to come up with excuses as she stuttered nervously, feeling tears in her eyes. This was the first time that LiJing had raised her voice towards her since they were little.