Chapter 5: If It Is Fate, It Will Be

The boy walked through the hallway, crossing his way passing the lineup of many pillars that support the big building. His shadow dancing and jumping inside, reflected inside the big window line up neatly across the building wall. The window not only showing the boy faint reflection, but whatever happening inside the building. Some student playing, mingle, studying, or just simply sleeping inside the student lounge.

Some students can be seen playing and practicing sport on the field, across the hallways. The contrast is showing; on the other side, inside the building, people are stagnant in their place, while people across the building are actively moving. Two great examples of how the world is work, some people excel with their raw power, some depend on their mind. And the boy excels in none.

The boy kept walking straight to the other side of the building, to the library. After the lineup odd event that happened a moment ago, he decided to run away to the library. Assuming if any new problem arises, at least nobody is going to be loud about it. After all, he needs to check something regarding his new program that he will do it with Daniel, so going to the library may be a good decision after all.

>>>>>

I put both of my hands into my pocket jacket, trying to hide from the chilling wind that was blowing from this morning, I thought the more the sun went up it would become warmer, I guess it is not the case. The mist still comes out from my mouth every time I exhale, the winter just around the corner, one year passed so quickly. I never actually pay attention to times, despite always waiting for the moment itself. By the time I was aware of my surroundings, everything already changed.

Passing the wide pond that is placed to divide the library building and the field, I can see people still being active in this chilling weather. I always wonder, how strong their body can stand out in this kind of weather, aren’t their skin hurt? But I keep all of that to myself, and keep dragging my body to the library entrance.

When I passed the last hallway, I saw a girl standing at the front of a vending machine. Her face looked troubled and worried. Her black shirt stands out in contrast with her long white dress, standing straight and tall with those black high heel boots. Her straight black long hair covered one side of her face.

I initially just planned to leave her and keep on walking to the library. However, I can’t explain to myself why I’m stopping and standing beside her, and trying to communicate with her. But it’s already come to this, what else can I do?

“Is there something wrong? What happened?”

My voice echoed inside this empty hallway, as if my voice crawling like a spider through the wall.

“Uh yeah, I guess my snack didn’t come out from vending machine”

She showed me a sad smile from her lips.

“I wonder, should I put some more money inside?”

I throw my eyes to the display machine, it appears the vending machine already acknowledges her input.

“No need, let me look into this for a moment”

I inspect the machine for a moment looking at the visible error on the display if there is any. I can see that there is no error in the system itself, which means the problem could be from the hardware itself. The possible thing that happened right now probably the snack she ordered is stuck inside.

I signaled her to keep her distance and step back for a little bit, she caught up my eyes and stepped back two to three steps behind. With that I force my foot and stomp to the vending machine surfaces, the impact makes a terrible sound. The girl behind me jumped with the sudden action I took, she looked at me and the vending machine. His face looked worried, afraid that I might cause my problem to the machine more than necessary.

*Thump!

The sound came right after the impact I made, which probably signaled that the stuck item was now released. I crouch down and stretch my hand into the hole of the item storage. I can feel my hand touch a warm metal surface, the cylinder fits perfectly with my palm. I wrap my fingers around it and take it out.

I slowly stand up and turn my body toward the girl that still wears her worry look. My hands still holding onto the warm canned drink, my eyes slowly trailed to surfaces, reading and inspecting the logo and the name.

“Is this coffee the item you picked from the vending machine?”

She looks at my hands and the item that I’m currently holding.

“Ah yes! Yes! That is the item I picked”

She moved forward toward me and slowly picked the can coffee from my hand with her both palm. She studies and rubs her finger against the warm surfaces, and suddenly a light chuckle comes out from her lips.

“That was quite an act, I was so surprised”

Her eyes looked straight to my face, with her eyes that were very soft and it felt like a cloud.

“This machine already old, sometimes you need to kick it”

I answer her nonchalantly.

“Well, can’t you do it gently?”

She tilted her head a little, her lips still curved with a smile.

“If I did it gently then the item won’t come out, also I will kicked it for nothing then”

I rub the back of my head with my left hands, feeling a little bad, probably should have done it more gently like she said.

“Doesn’t matter… I agree that neither of us can shake it gently”

Her eyes are now focusing on the machine beside me.

“Either way! Thank you! If not because of your help, I’m probably wasting more money”

She laughs and shakes the coffee close to her check while facing me.

“Never mind, it was nothing…”

I started to walk away, but before I could make one step she stopped me on my track.

“Wait, what should we do?”

She looked at me with her worried look. I look at her, confused with the question.

“What do you mean?”

Her finger pointed at the big machine. I shake my head feeling exhausted not because the kick, but because I have to deal with my own stupidity yet again.

“I’m on my way to the library; I will put this on student feedback. Or do you want to do the honor?”

The girl warily watched me.

“So are you going to confess right away?”

I facepalm myself, I’m starting to get annoyed.

“Then what do you suggest I’m doing?”

She just let out a low laugh, and somehow she caught my tone toward her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to… you know this is nothing, whether we told this to the campus or not, they are going to found out that one of these machine not working, one way or another”

Somehow looking at her soft eyes makes my temper dissolve a little bit. It is mixed between sorry and guilt actually.

“Then… tell them I’m the one who kicked it… my name is Sharon, Sharon Christian”

I just disbelief with her answer, but she is still with her soft smile and eyes looking through me.

“I… am, I’m Joshua….”

My voice trailed off feeling a little bit confused and shocked by her spontaneous act.

“You helped me, so this time, it is my turn. See you around!”

She walked away to the opposite direction of the building while waving at me. Her presence it’s almost like a cloud, it is soft but her aura changes so quickly. I shake my heads and walk to the original direction I was. This is a small matter, not sure why she so worked out about it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The small frame of human walking passing the bookshelf one batch at the time, getting deeper and deeper into the other side of the library. His finger touching lightly to the cover side of the book, tracing the words and title slowly and forward. Each step will make his finger trailing one book at the time, with different feels across the surfaces. Some are rough, some are thin, some are light, there are so many different feelings every time he touches the books.

Once per every step, the boy will stop and take out the book, open it and read it for a moment, swipe a few pages and inspect it. His finger will be touching the soft surfaces, playing around it, while at it, his eyes will follow the finger direction, immerse into the world of words. He likes these things, whether the books are small, big, heavy, big, or only contain a few pages, this is a knowledge for him.

When he is satisfied, and finds what he is screeching for he will proceed to keep it and hold it with his other hand, if not he will put it back to the row of the books neatly. He walked and collected some more, passing many genres, some are study books, some are novels, sometimes there is a recipe book too. Reading is always fascinating for the boy, which is why the library is probably the best place he has visited during his studying in this university.

After a while, he found all the necessary books he wanted, everything piled up on his hand. Holding it carefully, walking slowly to his destination, the pile of books stood tall and covered up some of his vision, hindering his movement. But the boy keeps his steady walking anyways, as if the weight of the burden placed on his hand isn't a problem at all.

He tried to balance his way, trying to compromise with the unsteady weight he is holding right now. And suddenly he hit something solid in the front of him, a strong flesh that stood tall like a wall.

*Bump!

The unshaken wall in front of him succeeded to make a counter impact to the boy's body, he fell out flat sitting down to the floor. All the things that he held a while ago scattered on the floor, all the books whether the heavy one, the light one, all of them making a mess.

>>>>>

I try to subdue the pain I feel by rubbing my behind. But it didn’t really help, the pain still there and so is the embarrassment.

“I…I’m so sor…”

Before I can finish my sentence, my words cut short by the figures that extended his hand to me. Surprised is biting my tongue, keeping it in its place, covering my words, and chaining my body in one place.

“Are you okay?”

I can hear concern from the deep raspy voice that comes from the tall figures that crouch down to my level, yet it still is not hiding the fact how tall he is. I hesitated, my palm suddenly sweating, shaking and trying to reach his palm. Before I can fully reach him, his hand already catches mine first, and his hand is warm, it engulfs my entire hands. He helped me to get back on my feet, his hand still holding mine, and his eyes inspecting every inch of me.

“Are you hurt somewhere? Your hand is really cold, should we go to the infirmary?”

I realized and quickly drew out my hand from his.

“No! No… everything is fine, thanks, and sorry”

I can’t really face him for some reason, so my eyes focus everywhere except his presence.

“I’m glad you are okay, sorry that I made you fall, I should be more aware with everything in front of me. Here, let me help you with these”

He smiles at me, and the voice that comes from his lips brings tingle to my spine. And he crouched down collecting my books, I panicked and quickly helped him out. My ear felt hot, the amount of embarrassment I felt right now beyond thinking, why I feel embarrassed in the first place anyway.

“Aren’t all of these heavy?”

I feel thankful for all these books that hide his figure from my eyes.

“No… it’s okay… thanks again”

With that I just quickly go to the Librarian table not only to register the book but also to run away from him.

I stand at the front of the Librarian that is busy registering my book, feel up some soft copy information, inspect my Student ID, while slowly gossiping with her coworker. The embarrassment just adding up, I’m confused why I even feel embarrassment toward him? Why did it feel like my whole face burned up? Why am I shaking?

I massage my temple, the pain is no longer lingering, but for some reason there is this headache pounding in my heads. Today everything is really not getting any better, the headache is enough to make me want to vomit. For all the places, why should I meet him? Why did I even crash into him in the first place.

“What is it kid? Your face like you just see a ghost”

The librarian teasing me and laughing with her coworker, I just standing there ignoring them. Pacing my foot, feeling anxious, wanting the day to be end as soon as possible.

“So, tell me, what kind of ghost did you see? I heard that sometimes student hear someone crying at the far back of bookshelf”

She put both of her hands to her chest as if she was praying. I just simply smile at her and nod my head. I walk slowly, but this time making sure I can take a peek. Yes, I saw something a few moments ago, but it wasn't a ghost, it was the star of the campus…

Albern…

When I arrived at my table, I slowly dropped all the books, but at the same time, someone arrived at their table just beside me. When I look at that person, he is doing the same thing and looking at me. What luck I thought to myself…

“Hi, looks like we meet again, and we are neighbor apparently”

There is nothing change, he still with his raspy voice, still with that alluring smile, and with soft eyes looking at me. I can see his robust hand, vein that visible, his both long sleeves neatly folded. He is one of the people that come to the campus with neat and expensive business attire. Unlike the other that look very exhausted, he is look very refreshed. Maybe because he is really used with school-work daily basis. That brown white mixed fashion, he damn well knows how to dress.

He is waving something with his hand, my eyes following that dangling object, he is holding my note.

Yes… what luck… exactly what kind of luck…

>>>>>>>

Two men sit down silently beside one another, both only separated by a wooden divider. They are so close yet, their aura seems very distant, as if there is a stream of Milky Way between them. The younger man keeps feeling anxious, his head keeps telling him to move to search other places, but for what reason? If he just stands and moves that way he will be seen as a rude person, the older man didn’t do anything bad to him after all. Furthermore, to move all his belongings now with his laptop already plugged to the socket, it will be quite troublesome.

The younger man just keeps typing and reading, trying to finish his task as soon as possible. For some reason he can’t stop being giddy about something, it is hard to focus, and for some reason his heart keeps pounding. This is maybe the first time he felt this way. Is this because of embarrassment that happened a while ago? But he has never been this embarrassed before. Shaking his head he forces all his might to his assignment, he keep Daniel and Mrs. Yuen in his mind, ‘I can’t let them down’, those words keep playing in his head. And let people down never been in his trait. Imperfection is ugly.

The older man sits down calmly, sometimes while reading the book he can hear the typing, scribble, and clicking sound from a mechanical pen. Those noises come not from his table but the table beside him. Oddly enough, he doesn’t seem to bother by it, he just sits there and keeps on reading.

That rapid type noise, paper being flipped, every noise made by the boy only becomes white noise to him, making him much calmer when reading. The more noise was made, the more comfortable and content for him to sit down there. Maybe this weirdness happened because he is in such a good mood.

He looked at the boy, his face looking very calm on the surfaces, his eyes fixed to his laptop screen, his glasses reflecting the coding he is doing. The older man never had interest in programming before, but he is really interested with the person who is doing it right now, he is leaning a little bit so he can see the boy much clearer.

Sometimes the boy biting his pen, and looks troubled. And once in a while he mumbles something when things seem not going as he expected. That jacket covered up his neck, actually it was much higher, because it’s almost covered up his mouth too. The way the boy dresses makes him think, is outside really cold? His hand was really really cold when he held it.

The younger man accidently looked to the side and his body jumped a little bit, his pupil grew bigger in an instant. He can see that the older man is looking at him, his back leaning little bit to the chair, his arm resting on the boy chair, and his palm supporting his chiseled cheek. The look he showed right now it’s the look of amusement, with a soft smile plastered on his face. That smile goes even bigger when their eyes meet.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mind to bother you”

The voice of the man is really soft yet raspy, very deep, yet there is a great warmth that comes from it.

The older man goes back to his table, continuing reading the book that is laying on his table. And the boy, despite his heart racing and pumping wild, trying to continue writing more coding. But the younger one must admit, there is a certain feeling when that man looks at him. Maybe because they never got close before, and the older man also never talked with him before.

They come back to whatever they are initially doing, and the silent keep on going for several times, when suddenly the man tapping the younger boy shoulder, trying to have his attention. And when the younger boy responds, the older one closes their distance and speaks near with the younger one ear.

“Can I borrow your pen and blank paper?”

The boy obliged and gave it right away. The older man mouthing thank you slowly with his mouth, the younger boy just nodding as acknowledgement. And everything is silent again, but this time, both of them seem content with one another. And thus the harmony was made inside that very hour, inside this library, between two souls that encountered one another.

After a while the boy realized how late he is, he quickly tidied up all his belongings. The boy quickly stood up and slowly walked leaving the table behind. And when he was gone, the older man just realized that the boy was already gone. He stands and tries to look around, in hope he can find the boy somewhere near.

He touched the cold wooden surfaces beside his table, the boy was here. He is still holding onto that boy pen, and he is looking at it carefully. He is smiling and puts that pen inside the pocket in his blazer. And he murmured something to himself.

“If it is fate, we will be…”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The fragile soul walking slowly in the suburban area, he somehow walks with worn out expression. Still holding tight to his book he tried to reminisce about what was happening today.

The Kristin girl

The Group assignment with Daniel

The big stranger

The cheerful girl Maya

The helpless girl outside of the library, Sharon.

The last thing…

His encounter with Mr. Famous, Albern.

Little thing he knows, but what big thing from all of this is that all his strange encounters will bring him something and will lead him to a certain path. He won’t know now, but the poor soul will learn along the way.

Without much effort he is already at the front of the door of his house, he turns the door knob and steps in, while giving a small yell ‘I’m home’ for his mother.

His mom welcomes him warmly and excitedly, only to be shot down by the young soul's cold expression.

“You are home…? You come earlier than I thought, comes to the kitchen if you done resting, the food almost ready”

His mom throws him a warm smile and no matter how cold her son treats her, she is loving him no matter what.

But something catches in her eyes, the glimpse in her son's eyes. It’s something she has never seen before, and for 15 years long this is the first time she sees it.

“It’s something happening on campus?”

She can’t help but worry for her son.

“No, nothing happens, just tired” the young boy answered coldly.

With that he walked out to his room, but his mother was pretty convinced that something happened but decided to not push her son, so she came back to the kitchen.

The boys throw themselves and lay on his bed, muttering…

“I think what hurts the most is I don’t know what and where something went wrong…”