Chapter 14: Sanity Doses Courier
The sun floated high in the sky, floating among the blue sky and the clouds as its blanket. The soft light showering the green field of the western style house porch, the tree that grew surrounding the house gives enough shade from the heat. Wind blowing slowly sneaked around through the forest behind that house, until it reached the swing that placed around the garden below the big tree at the front of the house.
The swing swinging back and forth ever so slowly, let the wind keep the pace. The leaf falling down one by one, some covering the stone path to the house, some gathered on the swing.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
As if someone is sitting on a swing and playing with the wind.
A boy can be seen dragging his bike closer to the house, the wheel sound fills up the eardrum due to the serene. The boy takes out his hat and wipes the sweat off from his forehead, despite the weather, the distance he has been through enough to make him drenched completely.
His eyes follow the path and to the wall, trailing the green veins to the open window at the second floor. His eyes can see someone sitting there, closing his eyes, and letting the wind touch his hair. Earphones plugged inside the both ears, he will not be able to hear anyone.
He can see a silhouette from the window on the first floor. Within a second a woman came out with her gardening tool, when the woman closed the door, she noticed the boy standing at the front of her house and called out his name.
“Evan?”
The woman welcomed him with a smile, which the boy did the same.
“You look tired, want something to drink? Wait here let me pour you some refreshment”
The boys quickly close his distance and try to prevent the woman from doing so, he doesn’t want to be a bother for her.
“No need Mrs. Park, I’m okay”
“Oh! Nonsense, look at your clothes, you've been exercising yourself. Today you handle lot of delivery item?”
The woman doesn’t listen and proceeds to go inside and let the door open, leaving the boy at the front porch.
The boy dragged his bike and leaned it to the wall, he heard a rusty sound and turned his face to the source, and he found the swing as it was inviting him to sit down there. The boy takes off his big delivery backpack and puts it on the chair at the porch, leaves it there and proceeds to sit down on the swing.
He swung his entire body back and forth slowly, letting the wind help him to cool down his heated body. The wind touched him to dry his sweat and massage his tense muscle, he let out a relieved sigh as soon as he felt that coldness washes away his tiredness.
“Here, this will help you…”
A soft and gentle voice comes from behind, and it reveals a woman holding a glass of water for him. Without hesitation he took the glass and drank it in one go, he is really thirsty than he thought apparently. He wiped his mouth and felt a little bit embarrassed.
“I’m so sorry Mrs. Park, turn out I need this than I thought”
The woman smiled and took the empty glass from him.
“Don’t worry about it… you here to give Joshua his other item request?”
“Yeah, it took longer than I expected”
“Well then, he is in his room as usual, and if you want another drink or perhaps eating something, feel free to take anything, just help yourself okay?”
“Thanks Mrs. Park!”
“Don’t mention it, you just like my own child, I like you like you are Joshua younger brother”
With that the woman leaves the boy alone, goes inside and puts the empty glass and proceeds to take his gardening tool and go to the greenhouse direction that is a few meters away from the house.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can see the warm light dancing behind the leaf curtain from the line up tree that becomes our fence for this house. The warm shine and the cold wind compromise each other against my skin. I see a human feature dragging his bike to my porch, he is late today.
I close my eyes and immerse myself in the music that is still playing through my earphone. My back and head lean against the wide wooden frame of the window, the other foot resting on my bed, while the other dangles freely outside the window.
The day keeps on rolling too fast, I don’t even aware how quick it is. Soon the first snow will fall, and this year is going to be gone and the new one will begin. That also reminds me about something, what should I do for the last project? I have to think about it and prepare before it gets overwhelmed.
I open my eyes when I hear the knocking on my door, take out my earphone, I diver my eyes to the door and signal the person on the other side to open it right away.
“It’s not locked”
Soon the door opens and it reveals a young man wearing cycling shorts, his rough veiny hand hugging his massive delivery backpack. His face looked rough despite he is younger than me, he let out a sigh while dragging his feet to come closer to my bed.
“You are late, what happened?”
He didn’t answer me directly, but threw his body on my bed and let his body drown inside my sheet. His muscles are moving and I can see his tense body grow relaxed each second.
“The last customer is a bitch!”
“Huh… that bad?”
“Real bad”
“What did they do?”
The man opens his eyes immediately and sits, his body spinning quickly so his upper body views directly at me. His face showed horror as if his experience was the worst that ever happened.
“The customer asked me to give a refund! Like hell she can! I’m just a currier! I’m not handling those stuff”
“It’s not like that is the first time you handling such customer, Evan”
“It’s not! But if this is just some kind of small item, I’m willing to use my own money first and get reimbursement, this thing is worth a couple thousand!”
“So? What did you do?”
He scoffed and let his body fall down on my bed again but this time I can see his eyes closing and his face still showing worry.
“I'm just mad, and tell her to do whatever she wants… “
“Calm down… your boss won’t be mad”
“Like you know him”
“I do know him”
“Right…”
I turn my music to low volume and put the earphone again to my ears.
“You might get scolded but he won’t fire you for sure”
“Hopefully… oh yeah!”
He gets up and opens his big bag, his hand not staying for too long, perhaps because my item is the only one that left.
“Here the book and some other stuff that you request me to find, I must say it’s pretty easy to find”
I jumped out of the window onto my bed, quickly took the item from his hand, my finger quickly opened the book slowly, this is an old book. The smell of apple leaves still linger, and despite this is owned by someone else, it’s pretty clean.
“You found the cleanest one… I’m surprised”
“Right! I’m surprised myself, found it from someone from SNS, and turn out he was pretty decent guy, owned that book”
My hand took out another stuff and I found the other cartridge that looks old but well taken care of.
“I have checked the cartridge, it working properly, but you might want to try check it out yourself”
Evan stood up and took a small console that lay on my table and gave it to me. My finger warped around the console and put the small cartridge to the back slot, and immediately the screen lightened up.
A classic and old sound coming from the console, and thus the logo brightens up.
My heart racing as soon as that nostalgic sound hits me.
“I keep wondering why you keep seeking all these old item, but hey, it’s not like I complained about it”
I scoffed and smiled at Evan, I just shook my own heads. He is right, why do I keep searching for all this stuff? Maybe because I can’t even let the past go.
“For sentimental purposes… funny and pathetic isn’t?”
My eyes still stick to the old screen, the old machine flickering its image, steady and colorful.
“I can’t judge that, as long as I got the money, I can’t careless”
I laughed at his reply, my eyes moved to see his tired face with eyes still close.
“Honestly, perhaps that is one of the thing that makes you great, never ask about customer”
Evan lips turn into smiles, his eyeball still covered by his eyelids.
“What can I say? World go around with money, I don’t care what I do as long the money is flowing”
I stand up and leave him alone on the bed, let him rest his body. My body got closer with the wooden self and put the old console there with the other similar stuff. Everything placed neatly against one another.
Old books and new line up with one another, I never line them in order, so now the entire self looks like an off color rainbow. There is not much of an item placed there, most of them just my collection of old stuff.
But all these belonging soon will be thrown away.
I have to.
Holding it for now, but humans need to learn to let it go.
It doesn’t matter if the collection is not completed, what matters the most is to keep myself intact for now, until the day we meet again. It is after all an unspoken promise, but both me and him, we are men with our words, and he will keep it. I know it, and I believe so.
As much as the distant and time has separated us, we are just two different faces but we are the same coin.
No.
I corrected, we are after all having the same faces.
“Whose blazer is this?”
Evan questions snap me back into reality, my eyes divert themselves to the blazer that is hanging on the wall, Evan hand running on the expensive fabric that it’s made of.
“Is it yours? It’s rare of you to have fancy clothing like this…”
I rolled my eyes, if anything I want to throw that thing away if I can. But I know for a fact that invigorating that man anger just will make myself tangled with his more troublesome scheme.
“Definitely not mine, but that blazer is one of the reasons why I called you to come…”
“I thought so, the size didn’t match up…”
“…”
Am I really that short? Is that why his blazer alone can cover me?
“What? I’m telling the truth”
I wave my hand and grimaced of the thought.
“Never mind, I want you to help me to find a well-known laundry for cleaning this troublesome thing, I can’t throw it anywhere I want, as you know it”
“Right, expensive stuff, we need place that know how to handle this stuff”
Evan rubs his chin while his other hand is still rubbing the fabric.
“I might know this one place tho… it’s not too expensive, I think it's reasonable price”
“Good, can I leave it to you then?
Without much thinking I agreed to it, I don’t want to let this cursed thing hang on my wall forever. His smell almost occupies the entire side of the room, and my room is the last thing I want him to visit.
“Sure, the thing is, I can send it, but I’m afraid the day when its done, you have to take it for yourself, I’m pretty busy on that day”
“When?”
“Usually they took 2-3 days, the third days I have plan on my own”
It can’t be helped then.
“Yeah never mind, I’ll take it by myself”
I hand him the money for laundry and his delivery services
“Is that enough?”
Evan counts the money within a second and smiles wide with the number.
“Happy to have business with you”
Evan comes back to the bed and drops his whole body on it again. His back facing me, and his hoarse voice coming from his sore throat even though that is his natural voice.
“Do you mind if I take a rest here for a while, the journey I took for today is kind of ordeal”
I turn on my PC, planning to study and finish any assignment project that is left.
“Sure, take as much rest as you want”
“Thank god”
And the entire room turns silent, only his light breath and my typing sound can be heard. Sometimes my afternoon is spent like this, have Evan visit from his work and take a nap or simply eat snacks together.
I have known Evan for a while now, we meet in the most unexpected way and place. One day I want to search something but I don’t know how to do it. Until I stumbled my way upon a post on SNS regarding freelance delivery services, I was skeptical at first, but I go with it.
Evan was so different from what he is now, he was much skinnier and his eyes looked empty. He looks like has been through much worse events, yet he is still there, trying to live. I guess, his will to live pushes himself, and nothing else.
In a way, I understand Evan, those eyes he was showing me, its eyes of betrayal and you on the verge of giving up. Only something precious to him that was left behind that made him holding onto that rope what we called life.
That is his younger brother.
He has been taking care of his younger brother for a long-long time.
“Evan you’re awake?”
“Hmmm…”
“How is your brother doing?”
“He’s been good…”
“Tell me”
“What? Tell you what”
“If you don’t add anything else means something happened, because every time I ask about your brother, you always add trivia news about him. But if you don't means something went wrong…”
“Fine…”
Evan jumped out from the bed, walking closer to me, his arms flooded on his chest. His face looked distraught and troubled. I spun my study chair toward him, folded my arms just like him, waiting.
“You know he is in his first year of high school right?”
“Yeah, time passed quickly”
“But I want him to focusing or at least think about where he is going to continue his study”
Evan face didn’t changed, in fact he is more worried now”
“I think that is fine if he answered me that he is thinking or will decide when the times comes, at least he have plan about it”
“The thing is… he is planning to not continue at all… he said he want to search for work”
“That is a problem because?”
“Of course that is troublesome! What is the reason I’m searching for money like a mad man? I don’t want him to end up like me!”
He fell silent after he let out his outburst anger.
“Let me guess, as soon as you heard that you lashing out to him”
“Of course! Who does he think he is?!”
I shake my head, he is street smart not emotional smart, but again, I’m the last person to tell him that, because I don’t understand emotion that good either.
“But you never thought about how you are in his eyes before?”
Evan's face grimaced and his head took a back little bit.
“And? Is it important?”
“It is… he has been looking up to you, but he is in age where he starts to realize his surroundings…”
Evan's eyes didn’t look at me, in fact anywhere but me. But he did not fight me back, he just stood there silent.
“Evan… he is starting to understand how hard his live is, and how hard you are trying to keep roof above your heads still intact, and how you trying to paddle so hard to make both of you float”
He still hasn't uttered any words.
“He starts to think he is a burden to you…”
“He was never!”
“I won’t sugar coat this… he is your burden and that is exactly what he is thinking. It’s not important what you're feeling right now. But what he is thinking and what you are in his eyes”
“It’s not really pleasing to be someone that has to ask someone else for money you know. I believe he is starting to draw distant toward you…”
“He is!”
Evan looks bewilder, surprised and realized now that his relationship with his brother is starting to have a gap.
“Maybe because it’s your nature to always say yes to him despite you, yourself, having no idea how to help him, all you know you want to help…”
“But what should I do?! I can’t say that I can’t help him… it will break his heart…”
“He can take it, hurt he will, but he is matured enough to accept that. Evan, we are living in the real world, if you promised him something, what do you think how he would feel when suddenly you are gone? Or for some unfortunate event your plan to help him crumble down?”
“Evan, the whole reason he is wanting to just work instead going to the higher education, probably because he is start to think about your future too”
Evan slumped and let himself fall down to the bed, letting a loud sigh.
“I only have him… I don’t want to disappoint his hope… I know what he wants… but…”
“We are lying if we say any of us have power to bring it to fruition, is that what you want to say?”
Evan nodded and let his eyes closed, sadness can be seen from his whole face.
“Evan… right now, talk to him calmly, trying to understand his point of view… he probably won’t like it for you to be always the ‘yes’ man for everything he want to do”
“Try to ask him to at least think about a quick training or seminar session. The expense won’t be that big and he can have technical skill that might help him in the future, and if you are lucky perhaps then you find a way and he can continue from there”
Evan still wasn't speaking and just laying on there with his eyes closed.
“Okay…”
A weak voice comes out from his lips, his eyes opened, and this time it’s shown determination. Perhaps determination for him and his brother.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“God damn! That was good food!”
“Look at you… come back to the old self pretty quick”
Evan stood at the front of my open door, ready to take his bicycle and going home.
“Thanks for the meal! Mrs. Park food always taste good”
“No problem she always make too much, as if she always forgot that only two of us living here”
Evan looked at me with his hungry eyes of opportunity.
“You should give me a call then!”
I clicked my tongue.
“Just come as you want… nobody cares… now I think about it, it’s better for her to have you eat her meal every day from now on”
“And why is that?”
My lips puckered, jokingly spinning my heads as if I was taking a heavy thought.
“Nothing, I just thought it’s better than wasting our food, plus, it’s free food for you”
“Right, it can help me with dinner allowance”
I nodded, it is a win-win solution for him after all.
“Ah right, I almost forgot, this is the address for the laundry, you can take it when they are done, I also will give your phone number to them, won’t be a problem right?”
I take the piece of paper he handed me, a short number written on that.
“I also have another request for you…”
I gave him a paper that I wrote a moment ago, it consists of some item requests for him to search and send it back to me.
“And I send you the money a moment ago to your bank account for that request”
“A head payment? Hmm, I can do this… when you want me to send the item to you?”
“Next year winter”
“Next year?!”
His face surprised me with the time length I set for him.
“You can’t do it?”
“No! No! But… that is quite long period for item this easy”
“I thought you would never ask a question?”
I raised one of my eyebrows at him, taunting.
“You know what! You right! It’s okay! I can do this”
“Ah, another thing, don’t send it to me”
“So, to whom?”
“To my mom, Phoebe Park… she will be your customer for that item”
Evan stood there confused, his eyebrow drawn closer together, eyes squinted.
But that is my request, and he being himself, just silent and nodding at me. I watched him waving his hand from the distance which I replied with a smile. His shadow is getting farther away together with the sunset.
My final puzzle has been set, now it’s his turn to fill his. All I can do is wait for now, waiting until he found me.
>>>>>>>>
The boy came back to his room, going directly to the opened window, letting his foot once again dangling freely. His eyes studied the figure inside the greenhouse for a moment, and he averted his eyes to the light above, looking at the sky, it changing color.
Every day the sky always greets him, whether it’s with sadness or with happiness, either way none of it can be felt by him. He only knows the times have changed, the closer he is with the time itself.
He closed his eyes, plugged the earphone and listened to the song that paused when Evan came. The melody drags him deepest inside his thoughts, making him remembered about everyone around him.
His eyes looked at the wall that was once occupied by a certain piece of fabric. Now that thing is gone, why did he feel something is missing in his room? That thing never was here originally after all, but as much he wanted to deny it, that thing only took one day for him to feel familiarized.
One thought he kept to himself.
He hates Albern.
He definitely is