4. My sister is a minx and my mother hit me with an omelette

"Bleargh!" Thomas heaves into his fifth bucket of the day.

"Are you alright?" I called from my bedroom and makeshift office.

"Bleaaaaarrrrr-"

"I'm going to take that as a no..."

I smirk as I look down at my papers. That poor, poor idiot. He knows he gets seasick but he insists on coming with me anyways. What kind of dimwitted blockhead does that?

Your best friend?

I sigh. This is why I hate my friends. They care about me way too much... Which is nice but, why would someone prioritize other people over themselves to the point that it no longer benefits either parties?

I shake my head and look down at my papers. I can think about these things later. Right now, I need to read this file.

File #34ACR8

Report on Amberlion crime rate

Date: Monday, May 27th, XXXX

As of May 27th, XXXX the crime rate in the northern district of Amberlion has increased by 2.4%. This increase in crime can be attributed to the recent murders of a Lady Millicent Davies and a Lord Alistar Fye who were slaughtered in their own homes consecutively by the same mercenary assassin, nicknamed "Grim Reaper." Their deaths were-

"Damn it, I hate this accursed ship! How do people even live at sea for months like this?!" Thomas stomps into the room with such ferocity, I'm surprised the floor is still intact. " How much longer do we have to stay on this confounded block of wood?"

I look up from my papers, " We'll be docking in a few hours. Whe-"

" Oh thank God!" He flops onto the armchair right across from my desk. " I can't wait to get the hell off of this bloody ocean and onto some nice, safe land..." I smirk.

He gives me an accusing look." What?"

I laugh. " Remember when we were, this tall and you said your dream was to become a sailor and travel the world?" I ask as I recall the memory of two small boys playing pirates on the beaches of Shorehaven, laughing as they chased each other with wooden swords. I liked those days. Those were the days that I didn't have to constantly worry about everything. The days where I was actually happy to wake up and looked forward to the day ahead.

....Oh, what a fool I was.

Whatever. Dwelling on the past isn't going to get anybody anywhere.

Thomas crosses his arms over his chest, " I was stupid back then, alright?"

" You still are," I laugh.

He gives me a sarcastic expression, "really? Well, I thank thee, your magnificently royal highness for sharing such unknown information. Truly, I feel like a new man. You have opened my eyes with your brilliant insight."

We both laugh.

"...Hey..."

" What?"

" You think you'll find her?"

" I know I will.." because I don't know what I'll do if I don't...

" What happens if you don't? What if she's.... You know..."

"She won't be. I know her. She's one of the strongest, most intelligent women I've ever met. She won't be dead."

Thomas frowns. Clearly not believing me but shrugging anyways. "If you say so..."

We lapse into a companionable silence. At that exact moment, a maid enters the room.

"My prince," she dips curtsey to me before looking towards Thomas, "my lord," she greets. Addressing me she informs," the Princess wishes to have breakfast with his Highness."

I just nod. "Tell her, I'll be there."

She nods and leaves. Curtseying at the door.

Thomas sighs and gives me a smile, "well, I won't keep you. Go see your sister."

I give him a look. "Will you be alright?"

He nods. "It has less of an effect if I'm sitting or lying down, so I'll just stay in your room for now."

I nod. "Alright."

Stepping out of my room I walk down the hallway, the old floorboards of the Borelian-Aresian Emissary's ship creaking under my weight. My mother had had this ship brought to Amberlion strictly for the purpose of transporting us. 'So the Aresians don't see us as a threat but as friends.' Ew.

During the war, these same people had slowly sucked the life out of our economy and our soldiers. And now, what? They were our friends? Just because I was getting married to their future Queen? I inwardly snorted. Please! As if I was actually going to fall in love with an enemy princess! The same enemy princess who stood by and did nothing as her court continuously harassed and ridiculed a two-year-old. They expect me to fall in love with that? Ew.

Ew, ew ,ew ,ew ,ew, ew ,ew ,ew ,e ,w ,e ,w....

" And, what exactly is my son muttering about?"

I was muttering? "Good morning, Mother."

" Good morning!" Cheerful. Too cheerful. I did not like that. If she was cheerful, it only meant that hell was going to break loose later that day. My mother was always like that, prone to extreme mood swings. Extremely happy in the morning, extremely angry in the afternoon and completely normal in the evening. It was very annoying and according to rumours, it was even worse when she was in Aresia. Though, I don't really blame her. In my opinion, her afternoon outbursts were her way of letting out all the emotions that she had been bottling for the last day.

" Well? Aren't you going to tell me what you were talking to yourself about?"

".......No."

" Why?"

Because, if I tell you, you're going to give me another lecture...

"I don't want to."

"Awww," she pouts, "but I'm your mother."

Yeah, the crazy mother who throws vases at me sometimes when you're angry. But, then again, she's not angry right now.

"It's... about the princess..."Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me.

"Oh?" She raises an eyebrow. Thank God! "What exactly about the princess?"

I can't tell her that I hate her. What do I say? Something generic! Say something generic! "Umm... I'm kind of worried about what she will think of me." Ha! As if, I give two craps what she thinks about me! She can go die in a ditch, for all I care!

My mother just pats me on the shoulder and smiles, "Oh, my love, you know you can't hide from me."

Crap! "What do you mean, my dear mother? I just told you the truth," I try to appear casual, failing miserably. Damnit, why can't I lie to my mother!

My mother just gives one of those looks that basically tells you to shut the hell up because you're not fooling anybody and sighs. " She's a nice girl. And where we are going... she might as well be the direct only ally we have. I know you despise her but, trust me.... She will warm on you. So please, please don't do anything that might compromise your relationship."

A nice girl? A nice girl? She calls her a nice girl? " What makes you think she's nice? You've never even met her."

"As a matter of fact, yes, I have. I won't tell you the details now. But, I have met her before. She was a good girl back then, she will be a better person now. Trust me, she's not foolish enough to be a bad person."

I just arched an eyebrow, "Is that right?"

She nods as we walk into the sitting/dining room. She turns to me, " so please, please don't do anything stupid that might jeopardize this marriage."

"Oh trust me, Mama. He's going to do the stupidest thing, unimaginable and make their relationship fly out the window before it even started," my little sister pipes in from the couch before, putting the equivalent of fifty gallons of syrup on her pancakes.

"Are you sure, you want to put that much syrup on those pancakes?"

Aria responds by carefully examining every section of the tower of pancakes to be certain that each part is covered by a multitude of syrup, looking up at me she says, "pretty sure, thank you for the concern, brother."

I just roll my eyes and laugh. This girl...... is just like her.

Crap. I'm thinking about her again. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

"Mother..."

"Yes, son?" She asks, grabbing a plate and piling it with pancakes, sausages, and omelets.

Typical. "Mind, telling me what exactly we will be expecting once we land on Aresian soil?"

She just shrugs, " Well, you won't be in any danger. At first. Just do what they want. They can be very...... vicious."

I blink. "Is that right?" I smirk. This is going to be more fun than I thought.

My mother gives me a look. " Please don't 'hurt' that many people while you're doing the rounds."

" Ya mow ye cam shay za word kwill awound me, wight?" Aria reaches for a bagel. Somehow, she had managed to down that sugary monstrosity of a plate of pancakes.

I shrug, "Mother still thinks you're a child. That's not my fault."

" She's five," my Mother plops down on the couch next to me, exasperated.

"Acting thirteen," I counter. "Looking seven."

"And who's fault is that?" she huffs.

I shrug. "Not mine?"

In reality, it wasn't anybody's fault except for Aria's. When Aria had first arrived at Shorehaven palace, my mother had tried her best to give Aria the typical, peaceful childhood of dolls, and children's books.

Aria outgrew that childhood in a matter of seven months. Going from reading children's folklore to memorizing ancient Borelian scrolls in a language we didn't even know she knew. From doing simple arithmetic to algebra and, playing the piano and the violin, like she was born playing it.

'Whoever was her governess in Aresia, knew what she was doing. After all, she raised a prodigy.' Those were my father's words. I'd never seen the man more proud. And though, it was bittersweet seeing him more proud of his adoptive daughter rather than his real son. I still take pride in the fact that my woman had raised that child. Of course, my father could never know that. After all, he had a fetish for killing all the women who were dear to me. Take Lady Sophia Williams. My first love and best friend. Went missing five days after our first kiss. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who was responsible. I never told my father about another woman again.

When I was young, I often wondered why my father would do such things. I now knew. Because my heart didn't belong to any of those women. It belonged to a foreign princess that I had never met before. It was because of her that those women were now in their graves. Their only sin? Falling for me.

I would never fall for a woman like that. A woman who indirectly killed too many women that mattered to me. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I-

"Isn't that right, Anthony?" Aria asks.

I nod. Big mistake.

Aria giggles as my Mother asks, "Oh, so you did bed Aria's maid?"

"Wait, what? No, of course not" I lie. Aria that little minx, I was going to strangle her.

"Mhm, definitely, you and she were just naked in your bed by accident," my little sister laughs.

"Anthony..." Crap! I slowly turn to face my doom.

"Now, now. Mother, I'm sure I can explain..."

Thunk! A book bounces off my head only to be replaced by an omelet. Well, at least I get to eat breakfast...somewhat.

"You idiot! How many times do I have to tell you to not sleep with so many women! Your reputation is already in tarnishes! Why do you make it worse for yourself?!"

"Um...I don't know? Because I'm a masochist who likes being humiliated?" Not true. Not true, at all. I despise being humiliated. But, what can I say? It's fun to see my Mother fume.

Speaking of which, did I mention that her face is the literal embodiment of a tomato right now? Funny right?

Mhm, definitely funny. Especially, if that tomato also happens to be chasing you with a butter knife, around a couch with a giggling little she-devil on it.

I love my family! Why wouldn't I!

Crash! My poor head...

*****

Anthony: Vote and comment to save me from my tomato mother's rage.

crash

shit