Is this...complaint I'm hearing?
"An acquaintance of Dakota?" After an insurmountable amount of awkward silence and eye contact, I finally heard Devon asks.
Oh, hun. We go way beyond acquaintances.
"Yeah. She's a senior alumnus. Saw the news about her so I decided to pay a visit after visiting my mother's." Calm down, D. You can do this. Whatever you do, talk less, divert his attention, and bullshit your way out!
"...You guys must've been close then."
What's with that stink eye Devon?! What are you trying to imply?? And stop checking me out. You're a married man!
Ugh. Ignore. Ignore!
Having been kneeling for too long, I prop myself up and decides to act aloof and bid my time to escape this wild Devon that pops out of nowhere. Too bad I miscalculated and the legs that have been forced to kneel for a good two hours are starting to feel numb. It took me great effort just to stand on my two feet.
"Next time you come to visit, bring her some food. She especially liked the Korean spicy fried chicken from Seoul Garden that's only available on Wednesday."
...
I can't help but glance at Devon. His face showed some melancholy as he stared at the box of fried chicken on the tombstone. Is that sadness I see in you, hun? Aww. You actually do love me.
♡＾▽＾♡
"She always ordered me to get a box for her every Wednesday. And because the restaurant makes a limited portion of it, I have to queue for a long time before I can get my hands on it. And after all the hard work, she didn't even bother to share some with me."
...
Is this...complaint I'm hearing?
"She said I should've bought my own portion while I was at it. Well, unlike her, I can't pig out a whole box of it on my own. There are 12 drummettes in there, only a pig like her could finish it on her own."
...
ಠ_ಠ
"So today I queued up especially early at the restaurant and stole a drummette from the box. Ate it clean on my way here. There are only 11 drummettes inside now. That should make her roll around in her grave for a while looking for the missing drummette."
...
ಠ▃ಠ
"She's a good person though..."
ಥ⌣ಥ
"If you ignore how obnoxious her personality is and how much of a pig she is when it comes to food."
(ノ-_-)ノ ~┻━┻
"You're the pig! And what kind of petty revenge is that?! If you want me to roll in my grave so much you should've camped here every Wednesday and perform a live 'mukbang' broadcast for me in front of my grave!"
My sudden outbursts startled Devon greatly. He sizes me up and down again with wide eyes. Clearly not comprehending why he was suddenly cursed and yelled at.
"Are you nuts? What are you yelling at me for?" He asks condescendingly.
"You're the one who's not right in the head! This lady is dead and you're here playing some petty tricks and badmouthing me right to my face calling me a pig and all!"
"...This lady?" Devon's eyebrows furrowed hard. His eyes clung to my face. Scrutinizing my actions and words.
"Where have your attitude gone to now that this lady is right in front of you?"
Taking advantage of my height, I loom over Devon, not masking any anger in my expression. Is this how you treat your boss?! Where is your respect that I bought with that expensive salary of yours?!
"Come on, go on! I'd like to see what else can come out of that foul mouth of yours! If I don't scrub that mouth of yours with the toilet brush today, this lady shall not be called Dakota in this lifetime!"
As if finally granted wisdom, Devon's already big eyes doubled in size. Only short of popping the eyeballs out of the sockets.
"D-Dakota?!"
"Who else could it be if it ain't this lady, hah?!"
"A-are you that angered by the little prank that you decide to possess this young lad just to cuss back at me?!"
"Hah?! Someone needs to shut that foul mouth of yours once and for all! You've been saying mean things to my face back when I was still alive. Now that I'm dead you resort to badmouthing me behind my back?! What have I been paying you to do for all this time? To be my personal sadistic master?!"
"Hah! When have you cared about what people think of you? Was it not me who keeps on reminding you to care for your image? Have you ever listened to me?! It was I, this gentleman, that wipe your ass every time! The fact that you have an appetite of a pig is known even by the rats in the sewers of this country! Why are you only overreacting now?! And you still dare ask me what you've been paying me for?! Now that we're at the topic already, where is my promised Christmas bonus, huh? You cheapskate of a boss!"
"Bonus?! Cheapskate?!" I pointed to my tombstone at the side. "Did you not see this? It says, 'Dakota Reeves'. My body is rotting down there and you want to claim your Christmas bonus? I have to salute you. Only a slacking idiot like you would think of claiming the Christmas bonus from a dead boss! And where did the Christmas bonus went to? Have you seen your performance review? You come later than the boss and leave earlier than the boss. You treat the company like it was your own better than I do. You offend people every time you don't find them pleasing to your eyes regardless if they were your superior or your colleagues. Making your review ranked the lowest in the company. Even lower than the ever so invisible tea lady at the office! If it weren't for me speaking up for you every time you cause me trouble, you would've been sacked a long time ago!"
I don't remember how long we bantered. The number of abusive words and curses being thrown at each other surpasses the height of Mount Everest. Both of us just won't apologize first, nor will we admit to our own wrongdoings and defeat.
The fight goes on furiously, the air filled with our gun-powdered like testosterone. We were so close to resort to violence before a sudden pain in my left arm broke the almost exploding atmosphere.
On Devon's side, I saw a familiar tall, clad in a form-fitting business suit man dragging the one head shorter Devon into his arms. Sealing the tiny raging chihuahua within his embrace. The usual sunny look on his face is nowhere to be seen. It was instead replaced by an expression that I could not decipher.
It only took me a blink of an eye to ponder before I revert my attention onto my aching arm. I was pulled back so hard I felt like my shoulder might have left its socket. Annoyed at the rough treatment, with furrowed brows, I clenched my right fist into a ball and swung harshly at the person behind me. Did these pair of lovebirds think they can bully me that easily? Hah! You're taking my days attending those "Muay Thai" classes for three years for granted!
A split second. It took me only a split second to make out the outline of the man roughing me. He looked haggard with an unshaved stubble covering the lower part of his face. His eyes are bloodshot with two obvious dark circles hanging under his eyes. Despite all that, one will still think the man is attractive.
...
I know this face...
But the fist that has been swung right at the direction of the face, like an arrow, nocked from the bow, can no longer be retrieved.
Pow!
"Ah ah ah! Bosssssss!!!"
The balled fist contained my pent-up rage from Devon's provocation, then fueled with the annoyance of being roughed at, and further supplemented by the newly acquired manly strength.
It is a very heavy blow. I didn't hold back at all.
As the world around me suddenly entered a slow-motioned state, I too, proceeded in slow motion, the act of spreading my arms out towards the man I so want to beat to a pulp just a second ago, in a desperate attempt to catch the man from falling to the ground as he...faints.
I can only scramble clumsily to fish the unconscious man into my arms and rest his head on my lap. The handsome face was now painted red in abstract stains by two bloody streams that won't stop flowing from the nose. The beautiful straight nose looked a little crooked. The sexy upper lip had an obvious cut too.
Uwaaaa! Your handsome face, Edgar! Sorry!
˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚
"Uwaaa! No! Edgar! Wake up!" Tears of pain and guilt from ruining the godsend face flowed down my chin, making my already wretched look, look even more unbearable to the eyes.
The pair of lovebirds who didn't expect Dakota to throw out a sucker punch, and for Edgar to faint from the blow, stood dumbfounded at the side, "..."
*****
[A wild Edgar has entered the Journal]
Edgar: Ah. I can finally see my wife.
Dakota: Hiyaah! *throws out a punch
Edgar: Em. I'll make do with the fist for now.