Chapter 10

Justin's face was gaunt after I had finished. The gaze in his eyes almost desolate as he slowly turned to me. The longer he stared the more emotions going from something akin to pity then to fury and then to something a bit more strange, more personal to him than to me and I couldn't quite figure it out.

"I understand your decision", he clenched his hands so hard his knuckles turned white, his jaw tightening as his turned away from me, "Don't you..." he started and then seemed to take a deep breathe, "Don't you ever think about your own future?"

He still wasn't looking at me, but the hurt was evident, the pain was audible, and it clawed at my heart like a hand of pricks.

"I... can't do that. The fact that Angela can at least"-

"Angela this! Angela that! she might be your sister but you can't just give a future of your own for her. You matter just as much- There's scars all over your body from where you took her punishments, scars from where you protected her, scars from when you took whatever was to befall her... you just- you just take it all and now you've gone and sold your soul to the devil for her", A sniffle escaped him and he gave a dry laugh as he wiped away at his face. I still couldn't see his expression and now I was glad of it. Because now my face was tear stricken, quiet and painful tears that I hadn't realised I had been holding, but I knew why they fell.

Nobody.

Not even my mother had cared for me this much. It was a privilege that wouldn't last, but for now I wanted to bask in it. To savour it before it dimmed, before Justin left to marry and work in the farm he would have bought from the money he collected working here. It was his dream to be a simple farmer, but it was a beautiful dream that I could see him living out.

"Justin... there's no need to pity me. This would've been the case even if I hadn't accepted the young masters deal, but it would've been both me and Angela. And if Angela were to grow into her prime here than I can't bear the thought of what might happen to her"-

"Don't you think that could happen to you!", His sudden outburst left me speechless as he turned to me. His face red in anger and his eyes glazed in tears. "Don't you know that the same thing will happen to you here? It won't happen to Angela now, but your still here... you're still vulnerable...", He slumped back on his chair, face burying in his hands as he heaved.

"But I'm not even pretty. If a maid is plain then the chances are"-

"You're a slave. You're a slave Isabelle. The Duchess might've raised you to be a maid, but you are on paper a slave to the Dukedom. They own every hair on you head. They own the hands you slave away with. The feet that you walk each step with. They own every inch of your body and they don't care what they inflict on you because of it", I was well aware of this. That's why I needed to get Angela out, but to hear Justin say the words so bluntly... hurt. It was a blow to the pride I was sure had been extinguished long ago.

"I know... ".

We sat in silence after that. Justin didn't look at me once and I stared after his slumped head, hoping he'd look up and grin maybe, like how he usually did. But he didn't and my break couldn't last any longer.

I moved to stand up. To leave, but before I could pass him he grabbed onto my dress and held me back.

"You're wrong" I gave him a surprised glance and met his eyes which finally met my own. After I look at him with a confused face he just sighed and turned away, but I didn't leave and waited to hear his explanation. "You aren't plain".

I expected something a little less anti-climatic, but nonetheless, it made me laugh.

"Why thank you Knight Justin, this maid takes pride in the beauty you see", my nonsense didn't lighten the mood much except maybe the small tilt of his lip that lasted barely a second.

"Don't you think it's strange that he picked you?"

Those words slapped the smile off my face. They were the words I had tried not to think about every night with as much will power as I could muster.

"He certainly dislikes me..." I prayed that, that was the answer.

"No one wants to spend the rest of their life with someone they dislike..."

I wanted to oppose him. To tell him the reasoning made sense if one thought about it, but it didn't. It didn't make sense no matter how much I tried to reason. But if I truly recalled what I thought of the young master it would be that I couldn't understand him. Not one bit.

Maybe he enjoyed the torment. Maybe it excited him? there were such people after all..

But I couldn't dwell on that matter because the voice of another fellow maid calling my name could be heard from a distance which signified that I had already spent too much time here. I turned away to leave, but not before I turned to Justin one last time and said.

"Thank you caring about someone like me and for helping me this whole time. I'll always cherish the fact that you tried to help us".