Chapter 31

Our eyes bore into each other for a while. I wasn't sure what was going on, only that he asked me something that I didn't catch in the surprise.

His face slowly soured the longer I was speechless, and then he moved away.

"Get out".

No more needed to be said.

I had almost run out of that room.

My thoughts muddled as I felt an my neck. It throbbed, and that throbbing made me feel so strange that the same feeling made me want to throw up.

'Be kind to him', I thought back to Angela's words and shook my head repetitively.

She couldn't have meant what had just happened. She couldn't have meant to be kind to him in such away. She would never... She wouldn't.

The heat that came over me still lingered, and when I realised, I saw the image once again. His flushed skin, his intense gaze that darkened as they stared at me and the feel of his...

At that moment, I realised that he might be right.

There was a time when I looked at him, and all I saw was a boy.

When did that change?

And if I do see him as a man... Then what about?...

Justin.

His warm smiles and kind words were like a bucket of cold water drenching my body that was in its strange heat. Suddenly, I felt rigid as a wave of guilt washed over me.

What am I even thinking?

I love Justin.

And it may not be meant for, but I love him. Even if we aren't together, I'll always have a place in my heart for him. So I shouldn't fell this anymore.

I thought of how disgusted the duchess would feel if she were alive and the thought deterred me from ever looking at Cain- no, the young master in such a light again.

Despite my thoughts, I was plagued by a heavy sense of shame as I made my way to my room. I had almost walked to the kitchen where I once slept.

Thinking Angela would be there waiting for me. That wasn't the case, of course.

When I got to my new room. With a decent bed. A place for belongings. Clothes without holes hung in the closet. I noted that I had much more than I once thought I could ever have.

Things had changed after Cain took the head of the house. I couldn't tell if the situation had worsened or become more bearable for me. The pros and cons seemed comically balanced.

But just how long could I bear this for?

When would the young master fall back into his nasty habits? When would he become mean and cruel? How could he be so kind yet so terrifying?

The thoughts bothered me as I tried to sleep. But the bed was comfortable. The room is expansive.

And the silence... Deafening.

At some point, during my storm of thoughts, I drifted into a deep slumber. It wasn't even the usual restless one that made me awake to every stray sound. It was deep, and I only knew that because when I did wake up in fright, it wasn't due to footsteps.

No.

It was because a loud wailing was coming from upstairs.

I realised who it was immediately. The same echoes of those screeched from earlier resounding in her wails.

I couldn't sleep after that.

It was the dead of night, and I couldn't sleep at all with the howling above my head. It was becoming more and more unbearable and somehow didn't wake up anyone besides me.

I let out a loud sigh and put on my shoes.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but if it meant being able to get some sleep, I'd do anything. I opened the door, cringing at the creaking and exposed myself to the empty darkness of the servants quarters. For a moment, I was scared.

I felt a dryness in my throat as I recalled being left in the dark, beaten black and blue. How sometimes, I would feel feet stepping on me and pocking at my sides. But I couldn't see any of it. My eyes couldn't open. They didn't want to.

But the howling didn't let me dwell, and I found myself pushing forward despite my shaking legs. I walked through the darkness slowly as my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, and I could finally make out the light ahead that was lit for the main families ease.

As I neared the halls which led to the stairway, the wailing became more deafening. I continued, making my way to the room where she was being held.

To my dismay, the knights who should've been standing guard were clearly drunk and barely conscious. They were slumped lazily on the floor outside, and the cries inside couldn't have bothered them less.

The older of the two was the only one who noticed my approaching figure and lifted greying moustache in what looked like a rather leering grin. He reached for my leg as I walked, and I gave him a kick as a subconscious reflex that sent him into a drunken coma of gibberish and groans. I watched him cautiously, scared he may become angry and violent as was the case with most drunks, but he eventually, like his companion, fell asleep.

I had learned the hard way that men will take advantage of girls in situations like these. I had a few tricks on how to stun them, long enough to break free and escape. And although, it didn't happen much, I still had haunting memories of it when it did. Had it not been for my stubbornness or outside help I would've already defiled many time over.

I frowned at them and then at the door where the crying girl resided. She was much quieter now, so I thought it was acceptable to leave her be, but when I turned to go, I jumped at the sight that met me.

He stood behind me, eyes bloodshot as he looked from me to the door. Blonde hair was messy, and his chest was mostly exposed through his untied shirt.

I felt embarrassment flood me when I became very aware that I was just in a nightgown. I should be at least wore a shawl. I still felt my face flush in humiliation, partially due to what had happened before and partially due to my current state.

It didn't bother him in the least, however, as he gave the two soldiers a rather painful kick. And then more.

"To think our household has such trash protecting it", he seethed.

The men groaned but made no other move.

"Young master, I'll call some maids to get the situation sorted. It would be best if you headed back to bed", I spoke, noticing my voice cracking here and there. I knew I couldn't help since I had just woken up, but it still embarrassed me.

"How could I? I'm the one who created this mess. As the master, It's my responsibility to fix it", he looked determined. It felt strange seeing him act so mature.

"At least, let me try first. Since she's mad at you, she may attempt to hurt you" I felt a frown at the thought of him getting hurt. Despite how much he troubled me in the past, the idea of him getting hurt was displeasing.

For a moment, he gave me a stern look and then, tired, he sighed, his cheeks becoming slightly pink as he scowled.

"You... You are shameless", he muttered under his breath.

"Forgive me?" though I wasn't sure what I had done wrong.

"Go inside", he sighed, covering his face with a hand.