Chapter 43

I had returned from Isabelles room in much reluctance and with every inch of my self control. My fingers still burning from our touch and my body by no means satisfied.

But I couldn't go through with it.

I could not.

A memory had slipped behind my eyes. One I much disliked to recall and one I hated ever more experiencing.

It was the unpleased face of my mother. I hated to see her displeased and she rarely was. Except today was one of those rare day, and she was incredibly dissatisfied with me.

"You like Isabelle?" her words dripped in a tone that gave me a chance to rectify. To change my words.

"Yes". My fingers could hardly hold still.

Then she stood up with a sigh, holding her head as the expression of the woman I knew all too well resurfaced. My mothers true self. The her that didn't hide behind a mask.

She stood by the window and beckoned me towards her. As I moved towards the window I caught sight of the view of the servants quarters. It was the one near the stables.

A woman stood outside, her stomach disproportionate to the rest of her body. She looked upset, occasionally banging on the door frantically, tiring and then repeating it, until she finally collapsed to the ground.

I wasn't sure how long mother and I watched in silence. But she watched the same scene as I did.

The woman stood up once again, leaning against the wall of the servant quarters and that's when I realised something.

"Shes pregnant!" I remember that innocent cry from my mouth very clearly. The emotions of worry and the readiness to help.

"She is", mother, however, did not once act differently. She started down at the woman with as much indifference as you might a common rock. "She has been standing there everyday for the last month. The baby won't last to it's birth at this rate".

Her words shocked me.

"Then... Why is she standing there? Isn't she one of the slaves?"

Th look my mother gave me conveyed that I should know why that woman stood there. And then it was of embarrassment when I clearly didn't know.

"She was impregnated by a servant boy. That's why she's waiting. The boy hasn't left his quarters during the day since shes told him and he's already given in his notice", she flicked a finger to a paper on her desk and then to me, "do you understand?"

I shook my head.

How would that have anything to do with me?

"Isabelle is a slave. One day that fate will await her and her sister", her words struck me like a poison dart.

The image of Isabelle knocking frantically on that door, her body giving up as she pushed it past her limits.

I thought of the servant boy that always hung around her.

No... No that wouldn't happen! I won't let it!

"We can get rid of the contract!"-

"Only your father can do that and he will not! At least not for her..." mothers face softened in pity.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Speak no more of this matter, my child. That girl is not for you! You will marry nobility and she will be at your dispense. If you wish to take a more scandalous relationship with her I can not stop you. But do not let her bear your children", she spoke as if her words carried no impact but I could hardly breath. I could feel rage building up in me.

How could she say such things!?

"Maybe this is why father avoids you".

To this day, I regret those words.

I heard a knock against my bedroom door. Quiet, but imperative. The memory drifted away, but my emotions still very real.

It was too early for this knock to be for breakfast. And the maids knew well that I had taken to going straight to my study after waking up.

I straightened my back.

"Please enter".

A maid walked it. Face pale. Eyes shaking as she raised a plush red cushion towards me. On top, lay a black ribbon with the goldiar seal embroidered on.

Finally.

It was time.