Chapter 51

My shoes crunched beneath the gravel. And occasionally, I would wince when a sharp rock met my foot. But I marched forward.

I had left to collect the clothes after dinner, just before the sun would set to avoid going in the dark. I had only walked through the forest once at night and never since.

It was at Cains request. Not as a cruel joke, but when he was at that obedient and docile age of thirteen. It was the first time he had asked something so childish in a long time.

He said he had left his watch there. A pocket watch his father gifted him the year before.

He had never liked it much, so I found myself nodding with knitted brows. I recalled the duchess who watched the scene in interest. I never understood that uncertain look on Cain's face or the duchess' strange smile.

But I had gone.

I had spent the whole time terrified and returned wet, cold and covered in scratches and dirt. I had looked for that watch with all my might, but as the hours went by, I became more and more tired and frightened.

I had been sobbing when I returned.

It was the first time I hadn't done as asked. The first time. Yet I had felt so utterly worthless on my return.

I hadn't gone to my mother. I went straight to Cain and begged him to forgive me. I still remember the face he made. The face that looked both frightened and guilty.

He had asked a maid to help me wash up and then forced me to sleep beside him. Even when I protested despite my sleepiness. That night was full of me shivering the entire time even though the bed was warm.

Right now, I found myself running towards the lake. The memory of the blinding dark was suddenly vivid. But just as I began to panic, the lake came to view.

It was breathtaking in the setting sun—the orange light bouncing off the water like diamonds. The trees seemed much calmer and still.

But what I noticed more than that was the pile of clothes in the basket. Nothing hanged up at all like it should've been.

"Its... Dry", I said aloud as I touched the fabric and looked around the place in confusion.

Had the clothes hanging themselves just been a cruel halucination?

I had come back for the clothes only partly. My primary mission was to see Justin again.

Did he truly return?

And if he did, why didn't he see me first?

"You're welcome", the crisp voice had me freeze up and then, with a gasp of relief, I turned to face the man behind me.

He wore a grin. Green eyes were twinkling. Dark hair passed his shoulders.

But he was different now. He looked more worn.

There were cuts across his face, and his hands looked rougher. I noticed he even seemed taller. Where there was once light-toned muscle was now much more defined.

It hadn't stopped me from rushing towards him and flinging my arms around him.

Maybe it was too forward or extra, but I hadn't seen him for months and just when I was convinced he had forgotten me. Just when I had given up.

He had wrapped his arms around me in turn. Grip tight, as if he would never let go.

"I guess this is the part where I scold you", his voice whispered.

His words made me recall Cain. His touch. How I had crossed that line with him. I loosened my grip in shame and moved to step back, but Justin didn't let go.

His grip just tightened as if he urged me to make it last longer. As if he had yearned for this warmth the whole time he was gone.

"Where did you go?" I let the words out as a croak. Tears threatened to spill.

He pulled away and examined my face with worry.

"Did he hurt you while I was away?" he demanded.

I knew who he meant. And I was ready to shake my head, but when I thought about everything that had happened while he was gone. The sick duke. Angela's wedding. Sarah's death. The duke's death. So much had happened. So much time had passed.

"I'm okay. But answer my question. Please. Do you know how many times I had given up hope that you remembered? I thought you must be dead or..." his face crumbled for a moment. As if he were a brick wall, suddenly collapsing.

"I could never forget, Bella" his soft voice that meant to console me somehow made me cry.

"It would've been easier to" I could feel the tears dripping heavily down my face.

"No... It wouldn't have".

And then, while I was blurry-eyed from my tears, his lips met mine.

It was so sudden and unexpected. But for some reason, it didn't feel nice at all. It felt wrong.

I stepped away from him in surprise.

He hadn't expected it either, it seemed. His face was full of surprise and hurt.

"Sorry- Sorry. Justin, I don't know why I "-

"It's fine. I shouldn't have done it so suddenly," he assured me.

He stepped back. Face downcast in shame.

"The moment I left the mansion, I headed straight for the guilds. To become an adventurer." he began to explain, "It's the fastest way to get money but, it was impossible", he let out a shaky breath, lowering himself onto the grassy ground of the forest—the sparkling lake, reflecting a shaking man beneath him.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I was making money. Lots of it but nowhere near enough. And then I heard of a man who grew a fortune by gambling", his voice dropped, hands lifting to cover his face in shame, " I was a fool. I thought I could get some money, that I could be so lucky. But just when it all fell apart I got a job from one of the co-founders of the casino. He said all I had to do was kill someone".

I knew I was primarily responsible for what he had gone through. I felt a strong sense of guilt at the thought that I had doubted this sweet man.

But to kill a man. Justin would never. He could not. It was against his gentle nature.

There was a tremor in my voice as I asked.

"Y- You haven't killed them yet, have you?" Again that doubt that I despised.

"I wouldn't be here if I had" he looked tired.

Relief flooded me all too soon.

"Justin", I touched his shoulder and lowered myself beside him, "I want you to leave this place. I want you to find someone who can make you happy. Someone who won't kill you from you pushing yourself like this".

"Stop Bell. Stop it".

But I continued.

"You probably won't believe me, but I'm happy. I think I was born here to "stay" here. I think this dukedom is my destiny, and yours is outside of it".

"Bell", there was a warning in his, but I continued.

"Cain has not hurt me at all. Angela's married, and she's happy. And I'm being treated well above my station"-

"Bella, I can't see you live like this!" He cut me off with such ferocity I flinched, "I don't want to see you twiddling your thumbs while he orders you around. Have you seen how he stares at you? He's sick!"

I felt a flare of both anger and shame. Anger at him insulting Cain. Shame at the reason why I felt that Anger.

"Justin"-

"Don't try to talk me out of this, Isabel. I'm going to kill that hero, and I am getting that money, and you are leaving this place. I promised you!"

His words left me stunned.

"K-Kendrick", I stammered, "you- you have to kill the hero, Kendrick". The realisation hit me like a bag of bricks.

The image of him aiming his arrow suddenly made sense. But it was the worst explanation possible.

Justin… had to kill Kendrick.