Wish she could run away

After calming down a bit, Airi looked at Ryo, "So, I got an extent of my life. I thought I had come to a point while I was still alive here, you know, as Arne."

"Yes, you got extra time for yourself, that surely, won't surpass your original birth time, as Shin."

"So, I got like somehow two years or something to make everything right. That's lotta time! Don't you think so?"

Ryo kept quiet as silence somehow felt more appropriate and comfortable in the current situation.

"Ryo, what if I can't make things right, even after using up this time? There is no way I could wipe the hatred off of his face."

And for that, Ryo had no answer.

Airi sounded so weak and helpless that it almost pierced his heart. He wanted to comfort that poor soul, but he was afraid that anything he did might make things way worse than this instead. Right now, Airi was in the most fragile state she ever had been, and anything amiss, might result in something bad.

Yet, Ryo felt like he had to say at least something, so he decided to give some words of comfort. "You will, Airi. Just trust yourself, and your soul. If anyone could make your own life right, it is you. So just stay strong."

"You sound like my mom, you know?"

"Well, I can be your family, if you'd like."

Airi burst out into laughter, "pffft… ahahah… Oh, please, don't make me gag now. The last thing I would want is some shady spirit to be my relative, duh. You know, I prefer to stay alone."

"Do you, really?"

The response Ryo got in return was a pair of eyes with a pained look, and with all those tear-filled puffy eyes, she looked sadder. "I do. It's better that way."

Ryo broke eye contact as he got up and said, "You should go home now, it is getting late."

"Yeah… I guess I gotta go." She looked at the cell phone on her for time, "Oh shit! When did it get so late? I've told'em I would be back soon. They must be worried sick. Imma head home."

"Later, then." Ryo waved his hand while he walked away in the opposite direction of her home.

And Airi stayed there until Ryo disappeared in front of her eyes.

------

"I'm home."

"Ah, welcome home, Airi. You are quite late," Mr. Arne looked at her concernedly.

"Yah, those problems… took a while. I solved all of'em though."

'Should I try asking them about it? But then again, they might avoid it, or worse, get panicked. '

'And I don't even know what is in that diary. So, I need to find some more clues to confront them properly, so that they won't be able to escape.'

She discarded the idea of confronting her parents for now and decided to wait for the right time.

"I'm goin' to take a shower real quick."

"Yeah, lunch is almost ready," Mrs. Arne informed while putting the already-cooked dishes on the table.

"Hum… kay..." Airi turned to the stairs when Mrs. Arne stopped her, "Airi, you okay? You look a little… upset."

'Guess no matter what, I can't avoid a parent's concerned eyes, eh?'

'But yet, that has to wait anyhow.'

Airi tried to pull off a smile as she turned towards her mother, "Not at all. Just feeling a little tired. I'll be back 'kay?"

Saying that, she ran towards her room.

When she reached upstairs, she entered the room, locking it from inside, and slumped at the doorsteps right after.

She felt completely drained of all her energy. All those hateful words were being echoed in her head. Not only those that guy said, but also the hateful words she used to get while she was still Airi Shin, when she was in high school, in her college life from her classmates, from her relatives who never once showed her any kind of sympathy, let alone love. All of these words were getting mixed up together, making a loud noise inside her brain.

All she hoped that noise to be stopped, that was putting immense pressure on her. She felt those words were like some huge walls, which were moving towards her from every side, squeezing her inside.

She felt like running away, hiding from all of these. But no matter how much she ran, she could not find any place to hide.

If it was some kind of game, she could've just used cheat codes. If it was any real-life situation like bullying from her classmates, or some difficulties she faced caused by others, she could've chosen to hide in her room, under her hoods, drowning herself in those 2D games and anime worlds.

The furthest she could go was to voice out herself, or her imaginary world to the outer world by disguising herself, through all the writing she would do on online sites, where people would never know who she was. People would never judge her for who she was.

But right now, she was facing such a real-life problem, where her existence, and her survival were put on a bet. There is no way she could hide from it, or ignore all of these and let those pass by. She wasn't even given a choice to choose something else, or to even run away. The only route she had open was to face this. No matter how scary and dark that path looked.

She was scared, she was nervous, she was worried.

What if she ruined all of it? Then what?

Yet, running away would do her nothing, she very well understood this. She needs to get out of here, for that, she needs to face whatever comes in front of her.

She will face it! Definitely!

With that resolve in mind, she got up from her slump state.

------

She came down after having a shower, and had lunch with the family. This whole time, the only thought she was having was about her next move.

She spent the entire evening in her room thinking about any possible ways she could move forward. Suddenly, she thought about going through a room to search her diary.

"Normally, people would keep somethin' precious', or somethin' they wanna hide in some place they can lock it up safely, so that others can't get through it. Or someplace where others won't even think about it. I didn't find my diary in their room, so that leaves the last possibility I can think of right now. The place where old stuff and books are being kept. Should I look through there?"

'Giving it a try won't hurt right?'

"Maybe, whenever they are busy, or outside, I'll look at it."

The rest of her day she spent rather eventless, curled up in a ball on her bed. She felt too tired, because of all the hassle she faced physically, and emotionally as well. Her nerves and her entire body were giving away.

Slowly, tiredness came down to her eyes, and she entered into a strange flow of a dream.

And that dream took her to that part of her existence that she would much prefer to be buried somewhere deep. That dream brought out those memories which would change her world in such a way she would have no way of returning.