A Ballad for the Dead

about Eleven Months Ago.

Joaquin and Beau are doing a task together.

they are walking on a beautiful meadow.

everything seems to be green. there is a feeling of nostalgia as they question how real is the beauty of the scenario.

Joaquin and Beau haven't work much together. they know each other a bit. but not good enough to say they are friends. the only person from their Guild to who Joaquin has opened up to is Luther. everyone is clueless about Joaquin's past and emotions.

Beau isn't much of a sociable person. but he has tried knowing others better. he tries really hard to make a strong relationship with the others. specially now that he just lose his best friend some months ago. there is a feeling of emptiness on the heart.

the given task is simple. they just have to find a piece that belongs to a map. it is buried under the meadow somewhere. they have more than enough time to search on the whole area for the piece of map.

but neither of them feel like searching for the map right away. there are others on their guild searching for the other pieces of the map.

Beau tells Joaquin that he wishes to wait some time. he wants to admire and enjoy of the sight as much as he can. it is rare to find this kind of peace and tranquility between missions and tasks. it is hard to feel at peace on this place.

Joaquin agrees for a different reason. the meadow reminds him of a time on which he took his former wife and child on a natural park. it was one of his favorite memories. at that time Joaquin was fighting his alcoholism. he was trying.

he was loving every second of that time. the sound of his child laughing and playing around looking at some insects. the smile of his wife. the way she looked at him. the few short conversations they had. it was simple, jet an unforgivable day.

a tear or two fall from Joaquin's eyes. he couldn't handle the horror of losing those he loved so much. after so long, it is still a trouble to walk without their company, without their warmth and uniqueness. life without them isn't life.

"it reminds you of the real world, right?" said Beau, follow by a. "I mean how could it be so realistic? it brings some memories to mind."

"childhood memories? or from a time you felt like a child?"

"I don't have much child-hood to remember. I don't know parts of my own past. all I can tell you is that it feels real. it brings me to a time on which I wasn't so Emo-tional about everything around of me."

"aren't well all done with life and its tricks from time to time?"

the two of them laugh. they haven't been close at all. for the first time they have something to talk about without it feeling robotic, nor out of place. they seem like old friends recounting their past, dreams, and goals.

it isn't ideal. it isn't perfect. but it is what it is. there are times in which a simple conversation about everything or nothing can bring some tranquility to the mind. it is the perfect opportunity for two strangers to become closer to each other.

Joaquin opens up a bit. he tells just parts of his past. he doesn't get into much details. he just said enough, just pieces for Beau to understand the story, the ordeal he had to face before arriving here.

every person has a tale to tell. they aren't all pretty. or better said, those are mostly tragic tales that resemble Odysseus' tragic tale. but there is always hope somewhere, and for some that hope comes while narrating about what they left behind.

"I am not sure if we make for an ideal pair, but it sure is an ideal day to connect with each other while observing the beauty this place has to show."

"I couldn't agree more. talking about pairs, I am crazy about this gal. she is amazing. but she is doubtful because of our situation. she doesn't seem ready to give the next step. maybe I am putting too much pressure on her. what do I do?"

"talk to her. let her know you're serious about her. but don't be too rough, nor too aggressive. let her know that you will accept her answer, no matter what it may be."

it is so bright. it feels like the day may never end. it feels like tomorrow may never come, and even if it sounds selfish. Joaquin secretly wishes for tomorrow to never come. he wishes so deeply for time to overcome sour and bitter emotions.

Beau feels hopeful about the direction his life will take. he feels a bit bad for been happy now that his best friend, Hunter is dead. but he knows that living like there is no tomorrow is the best he can do. Hunter would had wished for him to find happiness.

the two of them know that they must search for the map. but none of them feels like even trying at all.

maybe they are under a spell, or it is just a natural response after been on edge on all the previous missions/ tasks.

Joaquin has an idea of where the map may be. he gets on his knees. he starts digging without asking for help. Joaquin is sure he can do it by himself. he keeps digging until he finds a small silver box. he opens it. he finds the map inside of the box.

they are done with the given task. but they decided to stay few more minutes. the meadow is too perfect to leave like that. they won't ever get another opportunity to rest like they are doing now.

"sometimes I wonder if I deserve these. not as a complain, but as a thought that overshadows my existence. do I deserve you all? do I deserve the happiness?"

"you are our leader for a reason. we need you to be concentrate on your duty. the moment you lose your desire to fight. we all will fall apart."

their job in there is done. some birds move above their heads. they are loud. the birds seem to be going west. out of nowhere the sky started to get darker. then it started to rain loudly and aggressively. the two of them left.

on their way back they barely speak to each other. they each have something to think about concerning their future. while Beau was thinking about Leah, the love of his life. Joaquin was thinking if he was the right man to be a leader.

on the previous game on which he took part. Joaquin was many things, but he wasn't a leader nor a boss. he was more like a cowardly pawn. he tries to forget that shameful experience all the time. but then it randomly comes to mind.

there is no denial that he fail to many people on the previous round. he pushed some good people away, and he pushed others off to their end. those are things Joaquin will keep to himself. things he won't ever talk about.

'there is no need to bring back the past.' Joaquin tells to himself. there are things that are worth more not knowing. there are chapters on our life that we ignored. chapters that are meant to be forgotten, but can't stay forever on Darkness.

some day Joaquin will learn the importance of not forgetting the past. because the more you try to leave it buried. the faster it will come to creep on your present. Joaquin may be left expose to easily.

Beau has some things on his mind. he is scare of the idea of Leah rejecting him. they had become closer, but that is no guarantee of her feeling the same way. he then thinks about just keeping his emotions to himself. then he thinks about Joaquin's words.

Beau thinks that if Leah accepts him. he won't let her get away from him. Beau is thinking about finding/ buying a ring. but all if Leah accepts him as her boyfriend first. and if the answer is no, well he can live alone for the rest of his life.

"you're torturing yourself thinking about the infinite possibilities, aren't you?"

"mmmm... oh, yeah. it is hard to not think about it. she may see me just like a friend, or I may not be good enough."

"let me share with you a tiny secret. I was dreading over what I call, the 'Infinite Possibilities' when I was about to ask out my first girlfriend. later I learned how stupid is to get scare about something so simple. it's just a yes, or a no."

"sorry, I may be stupid. but I don't get it."

"it is a Yes, or a No. if the answer is yes, you did it. you won. but if the answer is No, it only means you can try later, or that she wasn't meant to be for you. it's as simple as getting a new job. it either is the one, or it isn't. there is nothing to worry about."

"can you give me some of your wisdom? I will need it."

"you won't need it. just relax. and let it be what it has to be without thinking too much about what could be, or couldn't be."

"thanks. I am sure now. I am sure that she and I, that we are meant to be."

after another long forty to forty-seven minutes walking with small breaks, and the usual small convenient talk. they finally arrive in front of their base.

once inside Joaquin went to his room for some time to think about his life choices. there are many things he keeps to himself. there are many hurtful things he is unable to tell to himself nor to directly face. there is some denial on his voice.

Joaquin isn't the only one of course, there are many others facing similar struggles. jet, for the leader to face all of that alone, it adds an extra capa to the weight he has to keep on his shoulders. there is just so much a person is capable of holding on a mental level.

Beau on the other side has nothing from the past holding him behind. what can hurt a person with no memory of his younger days? the only concern he is confronting is the eternal desire to understand what Leah is thinking. if she feels anything for him.

everyone else has returned from their tasks. Dog-Boy speaks slowly on the ear of his lover as he uses dirty words. he wants to convince her about some naughty things. she blushes as she looks away. she keeps saying "No" without sounding convincing.

Doug names a few guys with who she has been friendly. Cat-Girl looks at him with a surprise on her face. she denies it all. she then suggests some love making to him. Doug feels victorious. he then suggests using some candles and some romantic music.

while they leave their love life on the open for everyone else to become an spectator. Beau wonders if he will be like that, if Leah is going to be like that. then he remembers that he has to ask her out first. then he can wonder what type of couple they will be.

"I feel inspire by their joyful conversations." says Doctor Middle.

"nah, joy-and-full becomes one over some beers and a snack." said Purple Warrior.

"for once we agree on something compadre." said Organic Florist as he takes out a pack of twelve cold beers.

"that is what I call teamwork, amigo." said Bigotes as he holds two bags full of all kinds of snacks.

"wow this fools keep fuck'in it up every time they try to work together. And some how they work so good together when it is about the wrong thing." said Joaquin laughing.

everyone is having their own kind of fun. at the moment no one could guess what was about to happen. no one could had guess that some of them would die later, some tragic and gruesome deaths.

at the time they all could think about having fun. the danger was there, but so far away from them at the same time. there was nothing that could had been done. the past will always play the same ballad. the tone will never change.

and The past that includes those who died, it will become a Ballad for the Dead. a forbidden ballad to talk about, but one that stays in there printed deeper on the bones. and there is no one who can deny that existence of that ballad.

and just like that some may forget it. others may try to forget it. but the Ballad will always play on the subconscious of those who lived it with those who are gone.

the Ballad isn't for the dead. it's for the living to remind alive....