The Food That Connects

*Joichiro Hyakuzawa's POV*

//July 22, 2040//Sunday//

Why would I even try to ask for their forgiveness in the first place?

Kanade's reaction, the girl with rabbit ears from earlier was terrified of me when I tried to shake hands with her.

Sasaki has given me a second chance and understood what I have been through.

But what about the rest who don't know shit about my past? It's not like I can use that as an excuse because of what I did to them.

What Sasaki said to me earlier has enlightened me. I thought that I could redeem myself if I can muster enough courage to show myself in front of these people.

I told her that I would give myself a chance to trust them, but I was afraid.

But it turns out, it is easier said than done.

Maybe the best thing I can do for them to redeem myself is to never show my face in front of them.

"Hey…"

As soon as I was about to walk out of the cafeteria, the girl who cooks food for everyone here inside held my hand.

"Where are you going?"

I have hurt everyone here before. Physically, and mentally as well. I have brought fear, irritation, sadness, and anger towards these people.

But this person who is holding my hand right now. I think she is the one…

"Won't you come, and join us?"

She is the one who I have inflicted pain the most.

//May 10, 2040//Thursday//

"I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP!"

*CRASH*

I went to get some good food from the cafeteria before the lights go out.

It's tiring to eat the same thing every day that was provided to me inside my room. All I have been eating are snacks, and I'm getting sick of it so I thought about getting some food that is not processed in the kitchen quickly.

It was already this late, and the people here might be in their rooms, but I was wrong.

"But you went here because you are hungry, right?"

This girl who keeps on making food for me is still here.

I always get messages from her that there is food prepared for me that she made every single day.

I always wonder, why would she help someone like me who doesn't give a damn about her?

It annoys me that someone like her is trying so hard to help me in some way despite how I treat them.

I always act hostile towards her, and I thought that might make her lose interest in making me food every day.

But…

All I got from her was a big smile on her face who has been lending me a helping hand ever since this situation started.

I can't understand it at all. It should hurt, right? Not giving a care about what you made for someone. Trying really hard just to give someone to a person that will just reject it in the end.

I realized this for a while now. How hard it must have been to do the same thing over, and over again without any assurance that what you are doing will make a change.

It must have been really hard for you hasn't it?

That's why I think that it's better if I will never show myself to you people ever again.

//July 22, 2040//Sunday//

"Listen… You don't need to help me anymore… It must have been hard to cook for me every day…"

I let go of her hand, and quickly turned away.

"You can stop now…"

But…

*GRAB*

"What are you doing?"

She held my arm and tried pulling me towards where Sasaki and the others are.

"Aaaaahhh! You're too heavy!"

She was not moving one bit because I was not budging at all while she was pulling me.

It was as if she was a child who will do everything to convince her parents just to get the toy that she saw from a store.

Sasaki and the others were looking at me, and I was starting to feel awkward because of what Megumin is trying to do.

Megumin noticed their reactions as well and released her grip on my arm to get a plate of curry that she made for us.

"I guess you are still uncomfortable sitting together with us."

"I-I'm sorry…" I replied back.

"But you have been asleep for a few days already. You must be hungry."

She was offering me the plate that she was holding, and once again she gave me a smile on her face that I always see every time I talk to her.

"Would you give it a chance to try the dish that I made for you?"

I got the dish that she made for me from her hands and stared at it.

I have been ignoring all the food that she made for me, and this is the first time that I have accepted it.

It looks like an exaggeration, but the dish itself looked like it was glowing. The smell of curry pierces through my nose which can make your senses go blank, and the presentation itself makes your mouth water a lot.

I remembered that this was the exact dish that she gave to us on the first day that we came here to Saitei University. Does everyone here feel the same way when they first saw this dish?

"T-Then… T-Thanks for the food."

One reason why I accepted the dish she offered to me despite rejecting everything that she made in the past is because I am hungry.

But, there was also this feeling inside my heart that wants to taste it because it felt like it will be the first step forward for me to open myself to these people.

*CRUNCH*

And that first bite from her dish made me kneel down immediately.

"Hyakuzawa!"

Sasaki and the others went to where the two of us are and checked on me right away.

I didn't collapse because I was feeling weak. I didn't collapse because the food was disgusting.

The moment I took the first bite out of her dish, it felt like the burden inside me started disappearing one by one.

I continued eating the dish she made for me.

Why? Why am I feeling this way?

Is it because this is so damn good? Or is it because this is the first time I have eaten some good food ever since I got here?

No, it's neither of them. This dish… It feels like…

"But I know… that there will be someone… There will be someone other than me… Someone who will genuinely lend you a hand…"

It is trying to welcome me to be with the ones who are trying to reach out to me.

The food that connects.

I immediately cried while I was chowing down the food that Megumin gave me. The beef katsu melts in your mouth, and the curry itself coats every rice that is in my spoon. But, it also feels like this one dish is fixing me from everything that happened to me in the past.

"Are you okay, Hyakuzawa?" Megumin asked with a concerned look on her face.

"I'm sorry!"

I really don't want myself to be forgiven by these people, and I have done a lot of unimaginable things that almost cost their lives.

But after I finished the food that Megumin made. This pride of mine disappeared. This food is giving me the starting line to walk towards the right path again.

I placed the plate gently on the floor, and I was wrapping my arms while crying to the four people in front of me. And at that moment, I asked for their forgiveness despite what I did.

"I'm sorry for everything! What I did to all of you is terrible!"

"It must have been hard to all of you people as well, and I have made it worse by becoming a dangerous person in your eyes. I'm really sorry! I really am! I don't want to put on a tough act again! Please! Please forgive me…"

"Hey…"

Megumin embraced me and patted my head.

"It's okay… We forgive you…"

I was surprised at what she did, but without hesitation, I sunk my head to her like a kid who wants to rest after everything that he has been through.

"Thank you… I'm sorry…"

I kept on crying, apologizing, and thanking her for what Megumin said to me.

"Hey, I didn't think that you are a crybaby, Hyakuzawa!"

*SMACK*

"I-I'm just joking around, Sasaki! You don't need to smack me in the head!"

"This is not the time for jokes, Raku!"

I looked at Sasaki who was scolding Raku for what he just said, and our eyes met. She smiled at me, and didn't say anything to me.

But her smile alone tells me what she is thinking in her mind.

"I told you, if you let yourself open up to us, surely they will accept you just like how everyone accepted each other despite the situation that we are in."

That is what she probably must be telling me.

"I-I'm also sorry for acting that way earlier! I-It must be hard for you as well to interact with us! U-Ummm!!! I'm really sorry!!!"

I looked at Kanade who was panicking because of how she looked at me earlier. I chuckled a little, and talked to her.

"It's fine. I am the one who should put more effort into talking to all of you after what I just did."

After Kanade heard what I just said, she was still fidgeting a little bit, but I think that she understood, and accepted the things I have just said.

Sasaki, Raku, and Kanade, it seems to be that they have already forgiven me despite what I did. I am really thankful for you, Sasaki. If you haven't reached out to me earlier in the clinic, maybe I would start avoiding all of you after what happened.

And also…

"Finally… You smiled…"

I looked at the person who was closely looking at me. This girl who is still trying to help me despite being the one who got hurt the most. The person that still tried saving me even if I have given up on myself.

"There will be someone other than me… Someone who will genuinely lend you a hand… Someone who is willing to be by your side…"

You're right, Rui. I really am thankful…

"How? How can I repay you for what I have done? It must have hurt a lot, doesn't it? Hurting you every time you cook for me. Getting all hostile every time I see you. It must have been hard for you. How can I repay you for the kindness that you are giving me?"

"You have already repaid what you did to me over the past few months, Hyakuzawa."

I realized that I am also thankful for you.

"The way you smiled for the first time after you ate the food that I made. The way how you appreciate, and enjoyed it."

Megumin held my cheeks and gave me a bright smile.

"As a chef… No, as someone who tried really hard to help you. That's the best thing that you can give to me.

The warmth of her hand. How long have I been longing for this? How long have I been stupid enough to reject every people that I met along the way? How long have I turned a blind eye to the right path that I should have taken?

How long have I not forgiven myself for Rui's death even though she has already forgiven me?

You are probably laughing at me right now in heaven, Rui. You're right.

It really was hard at first, Rui. But you are right that everything will be okay soon.

I'm also grateful for you, Rui. I hope that even now, you don't see yourself as a sister who can't protect his brother.

Because even if you are not here in this world anymore, it feels like you are still beside me who continues to show me the right path I should take to move forward in my life.

And these are the people who gave me the last push to do so.

"Thank you… Thank you for everything…"

I'm really thankful… Thank you for giving me the strength to move forward with our lives, Mom, and Dad. Thank you for being with me until the end, Rui. Thank you for giving me a wake-up call, and beating some sense out of me, Sasaki. Thank you for forgiving me, Raku, and Kanade.

And also…

"Thanks for the food…"

Thank you for not giving up on me, Hagumi Megumin…

"I'm glad you liked it!"

******** TO BE CONTINUED ********