Chapter Forty: Answer

Soft breeze rustles leaves outside the building. as thomas waited by the window, he could feel the cold wind on his neck. that comforting silence brought down a rush of emotions in him. 'am i doing the right thing...?' he thought as he let out a long sigh.

those silence got interrupted with a sudden slam of door. he turned to see the person he's been waiting for this whole time. "im sorry it took this long. those traffics really ate up all my time-" as she went on, thomas approached her.

"grace, calm down. im not mad at you." spark of relieve flashed on her face. "so, why did you ask for me so suddenly?" her cheeks flashed with excitement. it made thomas taken aback from his decision.

"you know... i always want the best for you right?" stumbling over his words, he gently caressed her hair. "what's with you suddenly...tell me what happened."

"Let's break up." what thomas said had her mouth hanging wide open"what...? why...?" she received no answer from the other. stepping back from his touch, her eyes held clear view of him "we're so in love. why would you suddenly think of that?"

"No, we're not! we have no feelings for each other. I would've never dated you if it wasnt for my parents forcing me-"

grace held up her hand for him to stop speaking, "Thomas Lee! dont forget who you are. you're only here because of my dad. all these fames and success are all because i helped you back then! even if we started from the wrong step, do you regret it!?!"

"Im thankful. I'll convince my parents. so please, lets end it here...i dont want to use you any longer. not for myself, not for our family's business." he avoided eye contact as he spoke. "besides...there's someone else i like."

"How dare you!?!" his eyes twitch as he was about to give up. her sudden shout made him realise there was no point in saying that. it can only bring out the worst in her.

that one worst side he faced numerous times before. where she was ready to destroy everything to have him. that 'everything' included him too.

between the silence, thomas genuinely tries to ease her into it. fearing, it wouldnt end up with wrong way around. "Grace. stop it... we've taken it too far... lets end this for our happiness sake. im sure you'll find someone better than me."

"You're mine! I'll destroy anyone who comes between us!"

"please..."

grace spoke again, this time tears appeared in her eyes. "If I cant have you. then no one can!" with that final statement, she stormed out of the room.

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Exam season kicked in. avoidance crept its way to the three 'used to be friends.' each day, they cast her out of their group, not sparing a second glance. she reached out, they pushed away. it continued until y/n made up her mind to give up on them.

Using exam as an excuse, she reminded herself these sufferings are almost over. a month or more will end her school life. then she can move out on her own. away from all these people who have bitterly left her alone. there would be noone to look behind for. she'll reach out for her dream and live for herself.

but was it really that simple? whenever she looked at her friends, she gets reminded of their old days and longs to be with them. but they were happy without her as if nothing happened. why cant she just act the same...? why cant she forget them when they forgot her.

Maybe because she kept hoping for them to come back. which was nothing but false hope. it didnt work from the first place. her family left her the same way. now her friends did too...

Heavy rain enveloped the dark night like spilled black ink. A flash of lightning split the night sky open and illuminated a pale face.

y/n held on to her umbrella as she looked into the distance nervously.

she reconsidered carrying her decision to practise at this late night. her eyes contained a flash of helplessness. it was too late to retreat. her house was almost hour away from where she stood. tightening her grip on the umbrealla, her steps took her forward.

y/n walked down the narrow hallway that led to her practise room. it was left empty. silence was the only sound that buzzed through her ears. she breathed a sigh of relief. any other presence would've completely turned her down. she wanted to be left alone for the time being. to think through.

while checking the locker for any left training cloths, a sticky piece of paper came in her view. it was sticked to the door side, meaning for her to read. without hesitating, she pulled it out. words written on that piece of paper caught her offguard.

'I have something urgent to tell you. if you come across this message, please meet me in the doorway  - thomas'

"thomas was here the whole time...?" y/n crumpled the paper and threw it away.

nothing changed her decision of being alone in this moment or about practising. but as time went on she became more and more distracted. letting out a  groan, she picked up the piece of paper again. "what could be so urgent..."

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after making her way to the doorway, resting under the roof, she endlessly waited.

sky seemed gloomy. who would have thought that something as colourless as water could make clouds so dark. soon it turned into an endless music of droplets. she loved to stay back and stare. stare as the the dark clouds made her feel the arms of pain.

interrupting her thoughts, someone calls out her name. it was the familiar voice y/n has been waiting for. not bothering to look back, she lets the person approach her.

Instead of greeting or jumping into the 'urgent' matter of his, thomas asks out the weirdest question, "what are you doing here at this late?"

the silent pleasure of rain were all crushed. she stared at him, confused. "what do you mean...? i thought you asked me to be here..." her hand involuntarily reaches out the piece of paper. thomas stared at it for few seconds before taking it into his own hand. "I didnt..."

his face became more and more frightened as the written words began to make sense. he licked his lips nervously, "yeah...actually i did."

y/n stood there speechlessly. "so what was the urgent-"

interrupting her words, "hey, how about we go somewhere else?" with the faint light coming from faraway corner, y/n noticed the restlessness in eyes. 'what's troubling him...' she softly nodded.

but as she looked back at the sky, something stopped her from leaving. the rain became more intense as she stared.

'whats the point...i bet he doesnt have much to say either'

without thinking twice about where she was or where she was headed, her steps walked among those rain drops. recieving a surprised shout from the other, "what are you doing?!?" but she took no notice of him.

Bit by bit, y/n was all drenched in rain.

not wasting another second, Thomas ran inside the building. Looking for any umbrella nearby that he could borrow. Soon enough his eyes landed on a spare one. He picked it up and ran back.

y/n was still standing in the rain, not sadden nor scared. drenched and shaking from cold. but smilling. he walked toward her with the umbrella.

but it was only when they were both under it, did y/n notice his presence. the umbrella wasn't big enough for both of them, Thomas's shoulder was getting wet by it. But he paid no attention to it. "why would you.... you'll catch cold like this." when he tried to drag her under the roof, y/n went stiff.

she didnt move an inch. "whats wrong?...we need to go back." despite his unwavering concern, y/n didnt change her mind. Instead, she flashed him a smile, "Isnt it beautiful?"

moving on from her last statement, y/n looked up at the sky, "the rain...it sounds like a music... so soothing to hear." upon hearing her sudden decription over rain, thomas decided to give in. he stood still.

y/n smiled. smiled until thomas no longer held the pity for her in his eyes. she didnt want to bother him with her messed up emotions. while deep inside her was breaking into a million pieces. 

'you can fool anyone, but not me' he saw right through her mask. only because he knows what she's going through.

The innocent soul he promised to protect from any kind of harm, only to be end up suffering the most. It hurt him to see how hard she was pretending.

a sudden lightning made her stumble back in fear and hug him "its okay. im right here." her grip tightens around his shirt. even from that little contact, he felt her trembling hand. "Don't leave me."

'who hurt you this badly' he thought while extending his hand to gently pat her on the head, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

"I dont want to be alone anymore...the darkness... it scares me." as thomas comforted her, he waited for her to continue.

hoping she'll get rid of all her heavy hearted thoughts. even if the pain would still be there and he'll end up being not helpful enough, he wanted to stand by her side.

"my family...now my friends too...am i really that much of a burden...? do i really not deserve anyone by my side...?" she sobbed between the crook of his neck. "i was wrong...this whole time i thought i could survive on my own...but i cant any longer...i want them to come back to me..."

thomas felt a sudden guilt hit him. he was reminded of their last conversation. "your friend who only sees you as a replacement" he didn't think his words could take such a wrong turn. Is this the one word that hurt her the whole time?

releasing his umbrella, thomas also embraced the rain.

cupping her face, he pulled her away to make distance between them. "y/n, look at me." but the other refused to. she was already a crying mess. facing him was the last kind of embarassment she wished for.

but as he insisted, her eyes slowly made its way to hold his. there she saw no hatred but  a spark of warmth staring back.

she was able to calm herself down in his arms. it was the safest she ever felt in a while, "you're not a replacement for me," his words brought down all kinds of bad memories before her eyes. which was immediately shifted with the next words, "You're my answer."

unable to stop, y/n broke down in tears again. thomas wrapped his arms tightly around her as he continued to speak, "they dont deserve you."

Both of them stood under the rain for a long  time. With a sudden touch, Thomas felt heat from her skin. he gently pulled back to check. once he confirmed his doubt, he shouted, "You're burning!"

not wasting another second, he dragged her away from the rain and ran inside the building. 'no wonder...no wonder she opened up to me...' knowing y/n for almost a year now, thomas figured she isnt the one who speaks of her problems to anyone.

he should've guessed it sooner to not get his hopes up...