24

"Did I interrupt something?" Jerah, who just entered the room, frowns. Embarrassed, I look away. Silence falls upon us.

"I asked him to sing a song for me. That's all," Aki explains. It's the truth, so why does it sound like a cover? Why is it so awkward?

"Why would he do that? He has been refusing to sing for me, but you ask once and he just does it? A love song, even." The tall boy sounds annoyed, more than ever.

"You don't know? Have you not realized that you--"

"Ah, Jerah, I finished my test. Please look at it." I interrupt their conversation before it gets worse. I want to fall through the floor, disappear, run off to a country far away from here.

Both of them look at me. Silence hits us again. I stare at the ground, my gaze almost able to burn a hole in it.

"I'll check your answers downstairs. Grab your test and follow me." Jerah fills the room with sound once more. He turns around and disappears around the corner.

"Thank you once again," I say to Aki as I grab the paper sheets. I quietly close the door behind me, then walk down the stairs. I finally felt calm, but now my nerves are acting up again. I want this to be over quickly.

"Do you want a drink?" Tsukishima asks as soon as I set foot in the living room. Without waiting for an answer, he walks to the kitchen. "Tea?"

"Uh, sure," I answer, forcing my voice to sound normal. I put the exam on the table. It's fine. I'm fine.

"Are you in love with my brother?"

Nope. I'm definitely not fine. "What?" I'm pretty sure I heard that correctly, but I can't believe it. "Why? Huh?"

"You know, that pretty much sounded like a confession I interrupted. And I could tell you were holding something back," he answers. "So was it?"

"No, I barely know your brother! And we're both guys! He's just really friendly, and he asked me so nicely..." I panic. "He's nice, easygoing, and easy to talk to. It's only natural I'd feel comfortable with him around."

Jerah returns, two cups of tea in his hands. "Really, huh. So you're against two guys being together?"

This just turned really, really awkward. "Of course not! It's just.. uh.. I.. I'm not like that?" What was supposed to be a statement, came out like a question.

"So you've got a girl?" He continues his interrogation while grabbing my paper, looking for the first mistake. What does he care? Why are we even talking about this? I would barely call him my friend. This man...

"Why do you care?" I snap. Immediately after, I regret my rude tone and my choice of words. "Ah, sorry, I mean..."

Before I can say anything else, Jerah clicks his tongue. "What's this? There's no way you'd come up with all this," he says as he starts going through all my answers faster. "Did Aki help you? That damn asshole..."

Jerah is rude. He seems like he doesn't care about anything. But still, hearing him swear like that makes me jump a little. "I, uh, um.."

"How many did you make yourself? Ah, I see, that's why you were singing. Damn it!" The blond man seems quite angry. He looks at me, clearly frustrated.

"I made the first five myself... I'm really sorry... I just got stuck, and I didn't know what to do, and.." I feel really guilty. Tears start welling up in my eyes. I try to blink them away, but barely succeed, so I decide to turn my head away.

Jerah sighs. "You idiot," he mumbles. Though it's still rude, there's no anger behind it. Nor does it sound like his normal, monotone voice. Rather, it sounds relieved, calm.

Still, it hurts. Unable to hold back the tears any longer, I get up. "Excuse me, I need to use your toilet," I say softly, quickly walking towards the hallway.

Tears start falling. I betrayed his trust. I made him angry. There's no way he'll continue teaching me after this. I can't believe I did this...

My cheeks are all wet. Why do I care so much? It's just a tutor. I can find another one. One that's nicer to me. One that doesn't give me very hard and fake exams and threatens me with quitting.

The tears are dripping down, leaving tiny spots on my jeans. I don't want anyone other than him. I want him close to me. I...

Before my brain fully catches up to my heart, I get dragged back into reality by a knock on the door. "Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rude. It's just..." Jerah sighs.

I panic. My face must look terrible. Quickly, I splash some water in my face, before gathering some courage to open the door. I look at my hands, playing with my t-shirt.

Jerah is standing right in front of me. "Did you cry?" He sounds confused. Maybe even a little disgusted. "I'm sorry, I..."

"No, I'm sorry." I interrupt the middle of his apology. "I think it's best if I go home." I try to walk past him, but he blocks the way with his body, almost as big as the small hallway.

"Were you crying?" he repeats his question, using different wording. I still don't look at him. He sighs. "I, um..." He lifts his hand and puts it on my head. "I don't really know how to comfort you. I mean, with my siblings, it's easy, but.."

My mind goes blank as soon as I feel his touch. I look up. He's right here with me. It's fine. Jerah looks back at me. There's an actual expression on his face, even.

"Sorry if I worried you..." My voice cracks. I try to smile at him, but it comes out looking like a forced, half-assed smile. I am pathetic.

One second, I am standing straight, Jerah's hand on my head, distance between us. The other second, I am being pulled towards him, falling forward into his chest.

All the blood in my body goes to my head. Still, I can't produce a single thought. My heart beats so loudly, I'm afraid he might hear it. I stand there, almost numb but also more sensitive than ever before.

He removes his hand on my head and replaces it with his chin. "I didn't mean to scare or hurt you." He tries to apologize once again.

"It's.. fine.. but could you.. let me go?" My voice shakes as I manage to bring out a complete sentence.

"Ah, sorry." He quickly puts distance us. I look down, almost putting my chin against my chest, trying to hide my face from him. "Have I made it worse? You look angry..."

"I'm not angry. I just have my own personal space," I answer.

After that, we both fall silent for a while. I can feel my heartbeat slow down and my body starts to function again. The first thought that comes to my refreshed mind immediately wakes me up.

"Jerah, will you still tutor me? Even when I messed up?" I look him in the eyes. "Please?"

The tall boy stays silent for another second before averting his eyes and turning around. "Sure. Just don't do anything like that again. And you can go home now, I'll make some plans for tomorrow," he says as he walks back into the living room. "See you."

Does he care or not? I can't take this anymore... Without looking back, I put on my shoes and walk out the door.