73 (Extra)

Back to the past ;)

The weekend passed slower than it ever has before, and I am unsure whether I should be happy with that or not. It gave me some time for myself, no obligations to go anywhere or see anyone. No need to focus on anything, which probably would've been impossible.

But it also left me alone with all my thoughts, nothing else to put my mind to, and two full days of laying bed, only getting out to go to the bathroom sometimes, but not for food or to drink.

During the weekend, I kept going back and forth between wanting to message him, see him, apologize to him, loving him, and loathing him, wanting to delete all his contact information, telling myself to never look at him or think of him again.

I'm one big mess of emotions, both known and unknown ones, negative and positive ones, normal and ugly ones. If I knew love would be like this, I never would've admitted to it.