Hate Crime

Leaning into Prince slightly I aim a pebble at my best friend Frankie's window. It misses. I try again. Yes. Waiting... no answer. Pebble number three, aim, shoot, contact. Pebble four is a miss. Pebble five makes quite a clatter.

Frankie presses his nose to the window. Says something. I cannot hear him but from his hand gestures I believe he wants to meet me round back. I take myself round the back of his house. Wait for him to open the back door.

"What are you doing at this time of night?" Eyes look me over. "You look a wreck."

"I fell." I rub at my damp arms. "Do you have some boots I could borrow, and perhaps a long cloak to return home in?"

A hand grabs me by the elbow, pulls me into the kitchen. "Sleep over, dude."

At the words sleep over, Prince takes off to wherever he goes when not hanging out with me. Looks like I am staying over.

"If you fell where did your boots end up?" Frankie leads the way to his bedroom.

I follow him in; perch on the edge of his bed. Take off my damp socks. Massage icy feet with equally chilly hands. "I hadn't them on tight enough." Which is true if someone managed to steal them right off my feet.

Frankie sifts through his wardrobe. Flings loose fitting sleeping clothes at me. I take them to the bathroom. Get changed quickly then return to Frankie's room. He's put up an airer in front of the wardrobe. I drape my damp clothes over it.

"You really do look wretched. Where did you fall?"

"Dover somewhere. What time is it?"

"Three a.m."

Oops I set off at five. Looks like I am going to be a dirty night stop out. "I need to sleep." I drop into a desk chair.

Frankie scoots over to the left side of his double bed. Places a single pillow on the right side. "Sleep then."

Awkward. I've had tons of sleep overs here but always insisted on sleeping on the floor so Mi could share the bed. They both assume I do this out of kindness rather than letting them know I have a space issue. Even sleeping with Al can be challenging at times. Tonight my brain is too hazy to think about being cramped. I get into bed making sure I'm as far right as possible.

"You're in danger of falling off," Frankie says into his pillow. "Would Alex disapprove?"

I nudge myself further away from the edge. Can barely keep my eyes half open. "Of course not. Wouldn't want to intrude is all..."

... And after those words I must have been out because the next thing I know Frankie's shaking my shoulder. I slap his hand away. "What?"

"I thought you'd like to know it's two in the afternoon. Are you sure you're not sickening for something?"

Two in the afternoon what a waste of a Saturday. "Why didn't you wake me sooner?" I sit myself up, pushing aside woolly blankets.

"I gave you a prod this morning but you were sparko." Frankie makes to touch the back of my neck. I jerk away. "You've a red round patch on your neck."

"Hrm. May I borrow a comb?" I flick at my flat fringe which is stuck to my face.

Frankie picks up a comb from his desk. Hands it to me as I swipe my clothes from the airer. They are stiff but will have to do until I get home. I take to the bathroom. Pour a jug of water over my head and rub in soap. It is unscented. I rinse out the soap then stare into an oval mirror as I towel dry my hair. Under my eyes are on the dark side. The affliction. I hold out a hand inspecting my nails for white spots as I straighten out my fringe. Much better.

Changed and refreshed I give Frankie his comb back. In return he gives me a pair of shoes.

"What went on with you last night?"

"I fell off Prince." I slip on the shoes. Cross my eyes on doing up the laces. These shoes are so not me. "Thank you for the shoes. I shall see you tomorrow morning at the skate park, right?"

Frankie shrugs. "If you like."

"Don't look worried. Everything is fine. See you later."

He can be so suspicious of stuff. I leave Frankie's place and head down his street. Seen as there is no sign of Prince yet I find myself having strayed onto my old street where my parents live. Dad is sat out on the porch with a ledger. He must be going through some calculations, working out costs and percentages. I want to turn away before he sees me alas that voice of hope from deep inside pulls me over to the house. I smile hello at Dad as I lean into the front yard wall.

"Have you quit seeing that blond lad yet?" Most of Dad's attention is on his calculations.

Stupid voice of hope. Curse it. "No and even if I was no longer seeing him I'd still find males attractive rather than females. I cannot help it."

"You can help it, could bury those urges, you choose not to. Meaning you have no business here which breaks my heart, Casey. You are my first born. Special. Intelligent."

My hands squeeze together. "Intelligent enough to know what you are."

"What is that?"

"An intolerant homophobe." If he weren't my dad I would swing for his mouth. This is when I make the biggest error when faced with an intolerant homophobe: I turn my back on him. A hand clasps round my mouth. I struggle. There is no one else on the street. What a cowardly act, taking your own son from behind.

"I can cure you boy," is hissed in my ear as he gets me in a lock and pulls me into the house. He sounds angry. Furious. This is happening so fast. I try to pull myself free and end up getting shunted face first into a wall. At least my mouth is freed up. I'll have to talk my way out of this situation.

"Okay maybe you're not a complete homophobe. More like intolerant of me. Sorry I called round. I just wanted to try patching up our rift."

Ouch. He's whacked me on the back.

Smack. Smack. Smack.

Stings. No burns. He's definitely hitting me with his belt. I yell out as he lashes me. Has even torn at my shirt to get to my skin.

"What you do is wrong. A sin."

"Homophobe. Homophobe. Homophobe." I yell at every lash, hoping the neighbours hear and witness what a monster he is.

"This can all stop if you admit what you do is wrong. Dirty."

Only his sentence is topsy turvy. What he's doing is wrong. At least he didn't bank on Prince's beak gnashing through the locked door. Prince bursts into the parlour. When my ex-dad freshly raises his hand for another lashing, Prince tugs at the belt. Yanks so hard my ex-dad is pulled to the floor. Unable to look at him I propel myself off the wall, down the hallway, through the kitchen, and outside.

My back throbs on fire. I can't move. End up on my knees in the yard. Prince clatters over to me. Drops the belt at my knees. What kind of man strikes his own son? Second biggest humiliation of my life. I rock onto my side. Prince is waiting for me to get on, to take me home. I can't. Can't have everyone see me this way. When I refuse to get on, Prince takes off without me; probably to find a worthier less pathetic rider.

"You did this," whispers my ex-dad before closing the door.

If I keep my eyes closed, real tight, I can forget the rest of the world. Just my thoughts in pitch black. Me alone. Hopefully, I will open my eyes and be in the cove.

"Case!" I don't know how long I've been trying to zone out for but it's long enough for Prince to have found Al. Okay maybe I can hold it together. "What has-who would?"

I sit up. Open my eyes to sad concerned eyes looking back at me. Al's so pretty, even when upset. I gulp. My back throbs. I’m at risk of leaking water.

"I'm here for you." Al takes off his jacket. Puts it me on to cover my bleeding back then loosely holds me in an embrace so as not to put added strain onto my back. So gentle. I want to sit this way a while longer to process my situation but no get nudged into Charlie. Left to watch Al throw open my back door and go all pretty boy psycho on my ex-dad. He's so fierce for me.

"How could you?" Al has the belt in his hand. Slaps it into his palm, demanding an answer.

"He's a disgrace."

"You're the disgrace."

"I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you, Cloudy."

"Yeah you do actually. No one messes with the best boyfriend in the cosmos and gets away with it. For skies sake he's your son. You can't knock a person's sexuality out of them. I wish I could knock the intolerance out of you. You ought to be super proud of him for flaunting who he is rather than hiding."

What is the point? My brain is buzzing. I can't even hear Al and Callum arguing any more. I want to go home and pretend I never bothered coming to reconcile with that man.

"Do you need the medical centre?" asks Charlie.

Probably. Words form in my head but won't leave my mouth.

"Al, I think Casey's in shock. We need to take him to the medi centre."

Sunshine wanders over to me. I lace fingers through his gleaming sunny coloured feathers. He rubs his head against my arm while purring like a giant cat. Abandoning his argument Al works his arm round my back, helps me up.

"You steady?"

I shake my head and sit back down. I want to sit here forever and die. Al tries to put his arm round me again. I shove him away. Stare at my feet in alien shoes. Frankie better not come here. I know I'll die of embarrassment if he does.

"Hello Casey Hillcrest." Yet another spectator crouches opposite me. "Charlie tells me you've had a run in with a belt."

My head snaps up from Frankie's shoes. I glare at the back door. "Yes, I am a victim of a hate crime. Not that you care about that your only concern is the physical injury."

"That's not true. How about I take a look at your back then we can have a chat about what happened and-"

"-And what? Tell me I'll forget about how he called me a disgusting sinner? I only wanted to say hi. Try mend stuff. Once a homophobe forever a homophobe. He was a coward jumping me when my back was turned and I was stupid for letting my guard down."

"You're not stupid," insists Anthony.

"Case, please go to the medical centre," says Al.

Once I get to the medical centre I'll feel even more like a victim than I do already. Then when I'm patched up, I'll have to go home and find a way to be normal. I only make myself get up because Al's gone gaunt.

Okay here is an opening to gain some control of the situation. "Stop looking so worried. I'm not dying."

"You're shaking."

As well as shuffling along, trying not to wince with each step I take. Once on the street I give up. Wince away. Even let Al wind his damn supportive arm round me. When we're at the medical centre Anthony shows me to a cubicle complete with a padded gurney. Great.

"Want me to leave?"

Suddenly I don't. I grab Al's arm.

"Can you lay on your front for me please?" asks Anthony.

I take off Al's jacket then shrug off the remains of my shirt. Lay uncomfortably on my front.

"It's okay." Al holds both my hands, as Anthony starts expertly cleaning away blood and applying antiseptic. Stings like hell. Every so often I squeeze Al's hands to help deal with the pain. He squeezes my hands back. "You're halfway there. Doing fab isn't he?"

"Sure you are, Casey. A couple more minutes and we'll be done here."

My mind has distanced itself from my body. I'm totally elsewhere while I'm being tended to. Even when Al helps me sit up and Anthony's winding bandages round me. I'm limp when I get given a simple white shirt. Anthony must have a stash of them for this kind of emergency.

"You putting this on?"

I stare through Al as he puts the shirt on for me. "Do you want a drink of water?"

I get given one despite not replying. Then Al's dad bursts into the cubicle looking outraged and concerned at the same time.

"I'm... there are no words." Dave sits beside me on the gurney. Pats my knee. "If you need anything at any time all you need do is ask."

"We think he's in shock."

"Aren't we all? Alex, you need to take him home right away. Try cheer him up. I don't know how."

"We could play some music on your record player, Case. Would you like that?"

"His dad just- I don't think some light music will help. Perhaps he ought to stay in overnight," suggests Charlie.

On this gurney I don't think so. I hop off or thought I had. End up crumpled on the floor, or at least my body does. This isn't happening to me. I am not having a nervous breakdown.

What the hell? Who invited him? "Bro!" Milo grabs me in a platonic embrace. "I saw Prince outside the medi centre."

The shakes set in.

"Want me to fetch Frankie?"

"No more visitors," says Anthony. "We'll have you stay overnight, Casey. I'd like to keep an eye on you. Everyone else I would like you to leave please."

"But," protests Al.

"No buts or exceptions. Casey needs his rest and won't get any with you lot crowding him."

"Bye bro." Mi props me up against a cabinet.

Everyone, save for Anthony, file out the cubicle. I press my knees into my eyes. How could he? After what seems like a whole hour I prise my eyes from my knees. Anthony's crouched right by me. Waiting.

"Scream if you want."

Screaming would not achieve a single thing.

"You are the quietest patient I have had in a long while. The last time you were here I gave you a misdiagnosis. You weren't quiet then. Screamed."

I was dying then, or at least had been told I was. Prince saved me from being poisoned. He saved me again today.

"That skeletal of yours has perched himself on my doorstep. I doubt I'll get any more inquiries today. He's a fearsome looking fellow."

A fearsome fellow who deserves a stronger rider than I turned out to be. In the course of twenty-four hours I have managed to get abducted, and beaten with a belt.

"I remember how you used to come here with all manner of skateboard related injuries. There's not been too many of those in a long while," babbles on Anthony in an attempt to get sense out of me. Too bad for him I cannot get my mouth to form words.

"I've a quiet place you can stay. We've no one else in at the moment." Anthony proffers his hand to me. I don't take it but he pulls me up anyway. Takes me out the cubicle to a main ward. Shows me to a cot which is partitioned from the rest of the ward with a curtain. I stand staring at the cot. "You may sit down." I may but I'm not sure I can.

My eyes leak. I've reached that one point in my life where I need a hug from my dad only to receive one would mean acceptance and no back injury to begin with.

"Sit." Gently Anthony pushes me onto the cot and hands me tissue. Takes me off Frankie's shoes. "You are getting through what happened today. Just might take time. I'll give you some space but if you want to talk I'll be in the office."

A lone to stare at my toes. Hearing a, you'll get better in time, coming from a doctor doesn't bode me with confidence. He says that line on a daily basis to many a patient. Toes. Funny appendages toes. What do we even use them for?

"He'll be behind this curtain."

I press my hands against my ears and close my eyes. Anthony said no visitors, yet Geordie is snooping around and has probably brought a whole entourage with him.

"Casey son."

I get my dad hug. As father figures go Jiahao is the best. My mind reconnects with my body meaning I'm crying for real which is totally embarrassing.

"He's bad not you."

"I know. He's a bastard," I half yell half gulp in mandarin. "He better watch his own back because I'm going to tear him up."

"You won't. You're a good person."

"I can be nasty when I want to be. You always tell me family is important. Go home Casey. Your parents will come round one day."

"Okay I admit I was wrong. Family is still important. You're as good as a son to me. Could never strike this face with the bright eyes. Calm down with your fiery temper. You'll strain yourself."

"Sorry I'm-"

Jiahao shakes his head. "No I'm sorry for failing to take your concerns seriously. When this fine young man told me what had happened I hoped I was having a night terror. How about I accompany you home and make you noodle soup?"

"Anthony says I should stay here."

Jiahao switches back to English. "Young man, do you think we should take Casey home?"

Geordie pops his head through the curtains. "Deffo. It's dead sterile in here."

"I'll be utterly terrible company." I plump up the pillow on this cot. "Tragic."

"The medi centre is for sick people. You'll catch diseases if you sleep here."

I near leap off the cot. He has a point. How many ill people will have used this cot?

"And Al's doing my head in pacing round the house. And didn't Ant give you a misdiagnosis the last time you winded up here? He'll probably accidentally open up your guts in the middle of the night."

I jam my feet into Frankie's shoes. "Fine, I'm coming. But I don't want a fuss."

"Why'd I fuss over you?"

"I wouldn't know. You're the one who has come here to fetch me. I call that fussing."

Ouch my back hurts when I try walk straight. I must manage though to regain my dignity. I've come back from worse than this. Much worse.

Once I get outside Prince struts round me in a circle. I am unworthy of being associated with such a strong handsome creature. I pat at his beak which bites me in return; hard alas not harsh enough to draw blood. Unworthy. Moping won't prove me worthy. Fiery temper surrounding me I push past a startled Danny Kaito, who loiters outside the medi centre, and walk purposefully down the street until I reach my parent's house; give a strong knock on the door.

"If that is another horrified neighbour you're on your own Callum," my Mum more or less yells. "I don't know what you were thinking the outcome would be."

As soon as the door opens my fist flies right into a startled Callum's mouth. One punch splits his lip. A second whack for good measure dislodges a tooth." If you are going to attack a family member it is decent manners to do so head on. You are a useless excuse for a Hillcrest resorting to taking me from behind. Ironic really." I laugh at the innuendo as my eyes smoulder warningly as he watches me astounded by my behaviour. "If I hear you slandering my good name or calling Al dirty I will be punching you with a sabre rather than my fist."

"I thought Al said he was in shock," says Danny to a snickering Geordie.

"It wore off and turned to hate." I slam the door in Callum's face and leave his front yard with a mind never to return. Offer Jiahao my arm, knowing walking too far tires him these days. "I hope you didn't fly too fast."

"No. Was a smooth ride," insists Jiahao. "Me on a griffon who have thought?"

When we get back to the medi centre where, Prince, Chunk, and Honey are waiting, I slope to one side. My back is flaring up.

"Temper is a wild thing. Will do you no good."

"My temper is controlled," I correct and prop myself up against Prince.

"Are you flying the barrier or having a ride with me?" asks Geordie.

"I only want to ride Prince."